Chapter 4: Recurrent

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice and I don't think I'm in any danger of anyone thinking that I do with the BL shit I write.

It had been two days since Halt had confronted Will about his odd behavior and Will had kind of sort of *entirely* weaseled out of actually telling him the truth. Since then for some reason he had been having a surprisingly easier time composing himself around the older ranger. Enough of an easier time that Will was starting to believe that the whole troubling incident was completely behind him, nothing more then the over thought silly product of a hormonal teenage mind. Whether this reprieve was form a sense of relief that he had not been found out, or that his odd feelings had simply passed given time he did not know, and likewise did not care. The how and why did not matter. All that mattered was that it was over. Over and done, and he was back to his old self and Halt could go back to his previous role as mentor and father figure (and not secret love interest) in Will's mind.

That is until that night when by some cruel twist of fate the horror repeated itself… Needless to say Will was, upon waking horrified. He'd thought he had put all of this ridiculous business behind him. He hadn't even thought about Halt that way at all in the past two days, but… Not only that, but in comparison to the first dream this one had seemed if possible even more vivid and… well… Will felt the blood rush to his face as he remembered the details of the dream. He wished now that he had not had the 'pleasure' of learning exactly how two men did 'it' back when he was younger and had still been living under the castle's ward. Having overheard some joke about it, and overly curious as he was he had asked an older boy who had been working as a stable hand at the time and was known to tell anyone anything if for nothing more then to hear himself speak. Why he knew so much about it, Will hadn't thought to ask at the time, but had not skimped on the details (despite the age of his audience) or seemed the least bit embarrassed and had actually laughed at Will's shocked reaction. Long story short, thanks to that, he knew exactly how it was supposed to go, and his unconscious mind was apparently all too happy to create a perfectly clear mental image to accompany that knowledge.

But as much as he wanted to be horrified. As much as he wanted to be so disgusted that he ended up being reunited with his dinner (the proper reaction he thought)… When he remembered what had happened in the dream… Halt's rough strong hands slowly working their way down his body, the feeling of the older ranger's warm breath against his neck before he had started to lightly bite at it and… Startled, Will suddenly realized that he had grown hard just from thinking about it.

This… had gone beyond strange. No, it was definitely not normal to be feeling like this when thinking about another man, a much older man, and someone who had become like a father to him, but… Feeling dirty and utterly ashamed of himself, his hand shakily made its way down his pants. Grasping his erection, already slick with the product of when he had come in his sleep, he slowly started to pump, trying unsuccessfully to imagine anyone other then Halt as he did so. A girl. A woman. Someone female didn't matter who. Not thinking of anyone specific quickly enough, Halt gladly came to fill the void. And 'fill' he did. Just like in the dream when he had done 'that' to him.

"Nn…", a small whimper escaped Will's throat past his other hand which he had put over his mouth to try to suppress it. Why? Why did it feel so good to be thinking of Halt while doing this? He clenched his eyes tightly shut, shoving the heel of his hand harder over his mouth as he began to pump harder steadily approaching climax. Flashes from the dream came back to him in dizzyingly quick succession. Hands- both their hands feverishly groping, touching, grasping and tongues, teeth, heat. Heat, warmth pushing inside of him filling him-

That last thought was enough to send him over the edge. With a muffled cry Will came messily into his hand. Panting, slowly coming down from his climax that somehow had felt much more intense then any other time he had done this sort of thing (though he would not like to admit to the frequency of said 'sort of thing' as of late), Will felt nothing but guilt. Guilt, but overwhelming want. He didn't understand the reasoning, but neither could he deny his feelings any longer. He really really did feel that way about Halt. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. Beyond 'why', 'what he was going to do about it' was the most prevalent thought that went through Will's head. He couldn't very well admit his feelings. Halt hadn't even liked the idea of him chasing after an older woman let alone an older man, let alone him himself. But could he just remain silent about it? Could he just suppress his feelings, take them and these dreams and these actions as a secret to his grave? For some reason the thought of doing that really saddened him. Just the plan of keeping his perverted thoughts to himself shouldn't make him feel so… empty… should it?

Will didn't stop to think that maybe these 'perverted thoughts' could possibly be anything more then just that, could possibly hold anything else behind them. That maybe just maybe it was love more then simply sexual desire that made him feel this way.

I hope you liked it! I guess it was still a bit slow (and still short), but I tried to at least make it faster then previous updates. I kind of missed the deadline I had set for myself by a couple days. I've actually had it finished for about four days before posting, but I wasn't able to get on the internet sooner *curses not having internet at my house*. Anyway, I've now worked out a more exact outline for this (as opposed to just the general idea in my head I usually go off of), and so long as there are no unforeseen changes it's set to be seven chapters total(with the last chapter being double length).

Also since I've previously been so slow on updating this (sorry!) and giving myself a deadline this time seemed to make me go faster, I'm going to try for the last three chapters to get them out at least one a month. Still kind of seems pretty slow, but I've got other stuff I'm working on and I'm lazy so bear with me.