This is my first fanfic so I'd like some constructive criticism. Please feel free to tell me what I need to work on. This is a CrackFic and Four may seem a bit ooc but if you look hard enough you'll be able to see why.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Divergent Series or any of its characters,

There was a huge bloodcurdling scream after the remaining initiates jumped off the train. At the edge of the roof, seven stories high was an initiate (let's call her Mary from now on) hanging on with just her fingertips.

Peter laughed evilly.

Molly laughed with him

Drew laughed too.

With a bored look, Max said" If you save her you might get an advantage for the initiation"

There was a huge rush to save Mary. The only one who didn't go to save Mary was Tris.

She glanced at Max" They do know that it's a trap, right. See the edges, there's a faint line that looks as if the floor will collapse any second." It was her Erudite intelligence shining through in a crucial moment.

He looked embarrassed" I thought all of you might fall into the trap and Jeanine's secret plan to overthrow the Abnegation government would succeed.

His eyes widened and he clamped a hand over his mouth" I wasn't supposed to say that" he squeaked out.

Max then began checking off a list of things to do when you disobey Jeanine." Get a complete makeover, change my name, go to the amity headquarters, and if that doesn't work. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

While Max went through his list, the combined weight of the tributes gave way to the floor, thanks to an Erudite trap designed by you-know-who.

And then Tris finally jumped down from the edge of the roof. When she got entangled in the net, Four helped her out.

"Yay, another stiff! Finally someone I can share my secrets with. "He said happily.

Tris just stared.

Somewhere at the Erudite Headquarters, Jeanine laughs her evil scientist laugh. She chuckles darkly" It works. I can't let anything distract me now"

A waiter comes in the room with a batch full of cupcakes. Jeanine drops everything and runs to the delicious cupcakes. "Ooh, cupcakes!" she exclaims happily.

She takes a bite of the cupcake and falls down (huh, I guess they were poisonous).

And suddenly the waiter smiles creepily.