-o-o-o- Blueberry Hill -o-o-o-

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

A/N: Thank you for the wonderful reviews, and thanks for everyone who has read this far.

This will be the last chapter, so fasten your seatbelts! :)

It was hard to write this chapter. I knew what was going to happen etc but writing it down wasn't easy. I had to re-do some parts a few times until I was content.

This chapter is 22+K words, so it's double the length of a usual chapter in this story.

-o-o-o-

Chapter 9: Pinecone

-o-o-o-

With panic Naruto and Kankuro looked at each other. There was no way in hell this wouldn't look suspicious were someone to burst in the room just now.

"Maybe he leaves if you don't answer," Kankuro whispered, staring at the door.

"I don't think so," Naruto doubted. "He has a spare key."

"What?" the brunette gaped.

Just then a happy jingle of keys was carried through the door.

Not wasting a second, Naruto exclaimed loudly, "Just a second! Don't open the door, I'm messy. Just wait a sec!"

"Come on, I've seen you naked and messy, how much worse could it be this time?" Gaara chuckled behind the door.

"Haha, I know," Naruto laughed and silently mouthed 'sorry' for the brunette. "Just let me tidy up a bit."

"Alright but hurry, your tea is cooling down," Gaara replied, tapping on the door impatiently.

As quietly as possible, the two culprits sprung into action. With slick movements Naruto got himself dressed and hastily straightened the bed sheets. In the meanwhile Kankuro had collected his clothes from the floor but he was given no time to dress, as the blond pushed him into the bathroom. With a hand signal meaning 'shhh' he closed the bathroom door.

"Good morning," Naruto greeted as he let his boyfriend in. Gaara kissed him on the cheek and took their breakfast to the kitchenette.

"Here's tea and a sandwich for you, and coffee and a croissant for me," the redhead said and took a sip of his drink.

"Thanks," Naruto grinned quite forcedly. He thought he heard a soft chink of Kankuro's belt buckle in the distance and he faked a cough. "Gaara I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, what is it?" the redhead asked absent-mindedly as he read the newspaper. When the blond didn't say anything, he turned to look at him. There was an uneasy look on his face. "Don't tell me that Kiba guy is at it again. If he is, I'm going to talk with him again, and this time I might have to break some bones."

Trying to hide his nervousness, Naruto quickly corrected, "It's not that."

"Good," the redhead replied. Instinctively, he cracked his knuckles as the image of the loathsome bully slowly faded from his thoughts. No one could hurt his precious Naruto and get away with it. "What is it, then?"

"It's…. I can't…" Naruto stammered, trailing off.

"It's okay if you can't move in with me, we've already talked about that," Gaara said gently, giving an odd look at the blond. He walked to the bed and sat down, spreading the newspaper on the pillow. After a second or two he became aware of the foreboding silence between them. The boy stood there, rooted to the spot, with a strange look on his face.

Over the last month, Gaara had really given some thought to his brother's advice, no matter how annoying his wise-ass attitude always was. He had admitted to himself that from time to time, he really was a bit paranoid and maybe a tad controlling when it came to his relationships. For always, his first reaction to Kankuro's arrogant advice was to dismiss it―what did he know, anyway? But this time, he had had a lingering feeling that maybe his brother had really tried to genuinely help him. Naruto was, after all, a friend of them both, and maybe the brunette had seen some obstacles that were in the way of their happiness, and had unselfishly tried to guide them through the rocks.

However, he had certainly had some suspicions that maybe there was something going on between his boyfriend and his untrustworthy brother. He had been sure the evidence was there after he had connected the dots in his mind. He had not liked the picture, however, and he had tried to come to a different conclusion every time. He had told himself he was paranoid and delusional. Naruto was his and the blond would not hurt him like that. He had done his best to make the boy's life better. His reward for that could not be a broken heart.

Eventually he had found a better way to draw the lines between those dots, and finally he had gotten a picture he was at peace with. Naruto was not enthused with Kankuro. And his brother was not suddenly into guys. Nothing was going on behind his back, and his brother had been right: he had been paranoid.

He believed that his brother had really tried to be there just for him, when he had given him the advice to give Naruto more space. He had done so and it had worked out real well. The world hadn't ended and he had learned an important lesson about trusting his partner. Even though he had had misfortune with trust issues in his earlier relationships, Naruto was not like everybody else. Naruto was a good and caring person, who wouldn't turn up to be like all the others.

Now though, when the boy was oddly fidgety like this, the familiar suspicion raised its head again. With a calm breath, he averted his gaze. On the floor, near the bed, was something that caught his attention.

"Naruto," he asked serenely, "Is that Kankuro's watch on the floor?"

"Oh yeah, it is," the boy said in a fake cheerful voice, hoping he sounded convincing. What should he say? He wanted to tell the truth and be over with this but instead he found himself replying, "He stopped by yesterday and forgot it."

"I see," Gaara said quietly, wondering how that had happened. What was there in the blue eyes? Gaara narrowed his eyes and averted his gaze, again. With a few calm breaths he managed to push down that old friend of his, that loyal, deep-rooted paranoia. With his attention on the culture section of the paper, he spoke, "Is everything alright, Naruto?"

"Well…" the boy began, feebly grinning.

It didn't quite reach his eyes. He seemed oddly nervous. From the corner of his eye he saw the blond's mouth open and close for a couple of times. He was about to ask again when his phone suddenly rang.

"Hi," he answered, then fell silent for a period of time that to Naruto, felt like a small eternity. "Okay, see you soon. Bye." Gaara hung up and stood. He couldn't shake off this chilling feeling he had. With an apologetic look, he turned to his boyfriend.

"It was from work. I have to go."

"Oh, okay," Naruto replied, arms crossed against his chest.

"Let's talk in the evening, alright?" Gaara said, gently stroking the whiskered cheek. Then, something darkened in the jade eyes. "Unless you're busy again?"

"I'll call you," Naruto promised, smiling and lightly kissing back his boyfriend.

Gaara gave him a final, prolonged stare. He adored him. From the very first moment, he had been strangely infatuated with him. The scent of cedar wafted into his nose, and he had the urge to pull him close and never let go. Instead, he pushed all of his emotions into the back of his mind, looked at the love of his life once more, and left.

After the door slammed shut, Naruto let out a wavering breath. He was a coward. And a cheater, too. A part of him was relieved that Gaara hadn't spotted Kankuro's shoes in the corner. Another part of him wished he had.

Quietly, Kankuro came out from the bathroom. He had his clothes back on. In silence, he looked at the boy but the blue eyes refused to return his gaze. He had heard their conversation through the door. When Naruto had obviously been unable to tell the truth to Gaara, Kankuro had wanted to come out and deliver the news himself. But he knew that if it had been how the boy had wanted things to happen, he wouldn't have been pushed into the bathroom in the first place.

A chivalrous part of him had wanted to get this over with now, for he had a foreboding presentiment how his brother would take the news. He wanted to be there for Naruto. As a thought of Naruto facing alone the consequences of their forbidden moment popped up in his mind, he shivered. It was not Naruto's fault in the first place, was it? It had been him who had made the first move, and he had kissed someone who had been already taken. If anyone, he would be the rightful target of Gaara's sure-to-come anger.

Another, more selfish part of him told him that the sooner the blond would break up with the redhead, the sooner he would be able to give room to these new yet confusing feelings. It felt like their moment had ended too soon. Now in retrospect, it felt like a lifetime ago. Their connection was special, unlike anything else, but now when the blond was quiet and withdrawn it felt like they were back on their earlier, more reserved state.

"Naruto…" he began with a knowing voice. He looked at the newspaper spread out on the bed and the two cups of caffeine cooling down on the counter. "How are you feeling?"

Now the blue eyes turned to him, holding a crestfallen look. Kankuro smiled faintly, knowing that his friend―or lover―or whatever the boy now was, had a difficult path ahead of him. "I'll be there for you. I don't think you should do this alone."

A sad smile was the only answer he got.

-o-o-o-

It had been two weeks. Two agonizing, long weeks of total silence. Kankuro had not heard from Naruto ever since that awkward morning at the boy's place. Now, he had not inherited the paranoid tendencies like his brother had, but he was starting to feel a little bit worried.

He had sent numerous text messages and called every other day. No reply. Given that his brother still stayed in somewhat contact with him, he concluded that the big break-up had not yet happened. And considering that Gaara had not mailed him his CDs back, smashed broken, or any other threatening hint, he supposed that he did not know yet.

Now with the total absence of Naruto his life felt suddenly smaller. It was work and routines again. It was TV and books and cooking, all incapable of erasing the concealed anxiety of his life having no purpose. And all too soon, he would decease. He hadn't skated, he hadn't even visited that pond lately. It was better to see it with his mind's eye, them skating and goofing around on the ice with gusts of incontinent laughter on the background, than to see how the pond now was, empty and abandoned.

No, he was not paranoid but the tiny doubt in the back of his mind had steadily grown bigger, eating away his confidence. What if―and this was all really hypothetical―Naruto was not going to break up with Gaara? With a dry laugh, Kankuro shook his head, trying to drive the uncertainty away. It could not be that what they had experienced was just a one night stand, a mistake that would be never repeated. Naruto wouldn't do that, would he? And surely Naruto would not choose Gaara over him, right? That crazy magnetism between them had not been just his imagination. The blond would do as he had said. Still, as he gazed through the window into the darkening forest, he couldn't help but think why the boy hadn't already done it.

-o-o-o-

After another week, Kankuro started to feel really forgotten. He hadn't dared to visit Naruto or his brother out of the blue. A dark feeling in the back of his mind urged him to go see at least the blond.

On Friday, he was walking back home after another grey workday. It had snowed the whole day again. With his sleeve, he wiped off the snow from the top of his mailbox and looked inside. Among his usual mail there was a white, buckled envelope. Curiously, he tore it open.

At first he had no idea what it was.

When he got it fully out of the envelope, he gasped. It was a mauled pinecone.

And not just any pinecone.

Kankuro gulped, dread filling him slowly but steadily.

A croaking flock of crows took suddenly wing from the nearby trees. He had never liked those black birds very much. There was something unnerving in them, and the fact they had decided to represent themselves in a moment like this felt not like a coincidence.

With growing cautiousness, he started to head home with hasty steps. On the way, he dialed Naruto's number.

The number you have called cannot be reached. Please try again.

"Shit," Kankuro muttered. He had a really bad feeling about this.

The front yard was full of snow, even though he had plowed it in the early hours of the morning. Hastily, he waded through the snow banks and at the porch he pulled out his keys from his pocket, almost dropping them. The click of the lock gave him a fleeting sense of calmness and quickly, he hurried inside.

He threw the mail to the kitchen table and ran a hand down his face, pondering what to do next.

"Hello, brother."

Startled, Kankuro turned around. "Gaara! What are you doing in here?"

"Do I need a reason to visit my brother?" the redhead shrugged. His face let out no emotion, it was like stone. "Oh and by the way, maybe you should change those old locks. You wouldn't want someone bursting in, interrupting your doings."

Kankuro stared angrily at his brother. He didn't appreciate him breaking into his house, but it wasn't his top concern at the moment. "What the hell is this?" he asked and threw him the envelope.

"What do you think it is?" Jade eyes narrowed a fraction.

"You know very well what I mean," Kankuro said heatedly, his anger rising. "What have you done to Naruto?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Gaara asked in an ominous voice.

"His phone isn't working and I'm sure it has something to do with you. Where is he?" the brunette growled.

"I don't know and I don't care," was all the foreboding redhead replied. Even though his face remained blank, there was a loaded look in the pale green eyes.

Angrily, Kankuro grabbed Gaara by the chest and stared daggers at him. "What. Have. You. Done."

Something changed in the ivory stone face and a seething emotion rose to the surface. A vile smirk slowly spread to the redhead's lips, matching the chilling stare. Kankuro did not like it, at all.

"With my most polite manners, I expressed him how I felt when he broke my heart," Gaara replied, his voice just above a whisper.

"You and your polite manners," Kankuro snapped, tightening his grip. "You didn't hurt him, did you?"

Gaara didn't reply, but only stared at him in an ominous way, a small smirk ghosting on the corners of his mouth. That eerie calmness sent a chill down the brunette's spine.

With disgust, Kankuro shook his brother by the chest. "How could you?"

A bark of laughter. "How could you, I should ask. Behind my back!"

"It was meant to happen," Kankuro replied.

"So was this."

Kankuro stared at his brother darkly. He could not find any apologetic emotion on his face, but a familiar, deep-rooted hurt was present once again. Partly, he was responsible for that hurt to still exist, and his recent selfish actions had done nothing to erase that pain. However, Naruto was innocent in his own way. He was not a part of this long-lived feud between them.

"Why did you have to target him, when you could've come straight to me?" Kankuro asked.

"I thought of it, yes," Gaara replied calmly, a frightening aura radiating from him. "But then I thought that teaching him a lesson would teach an even bigger lesson for you."

"You are sick," Kankuro spat.

"Not as sick as you are," Gaara retorted, gripping his brother's wrists and pushing him away in one, swift move. The big brother took a few steps back, and calmly, Gaara began to close in on him.

"There's a dagger in my back for each time you've weaved your little webs behind me. You have been begging for this wake-up call, brother." The last word was said in a mocking tone.

"I really thought you were on my side this time with your pretended advice and fake concern. You got me convinced you were truly trying to help me with Naruto, and encouraged me to dismiss my instincts―or in your words, my paranoia. Thanks to you, lowering my defenses had wonderful consequences. Well played, Kankuro," the redhead said venomously.

"I was trying to help you," the brunette spoke through gritted teeth. "You were suffocating him, in the same way like everyone else before him, too."

"You know nothing," the redhead spoke with a chilling voice. For each step he had taken forward, his older brother had moved backwards, and now he had cornered him. "He was actually the only good person I've ever had, and you took him away."

"Look, you can't keep people if they don't want to stay," the brunette pointed out, refusing to be intimidated.

"He would've stayed, if you hadn't constantly pulled him towards yourself," Gaara hissed.

"Well I'm sorry," Kankuro replied, and his voice was stern and anger still echoed in there.

"You are sorry…" the redhead repeated with voice void of any emotion. "You can tell that to Naruto, if you see him again."

"And what do you mean by that?" Kankuro barked, his irritation levels instantly flying high.

"If he wants to see you, that is," the little brother replied, and a humorless little smile came to his lips.

"Why wouldn't he want to see me?" the brunette asked in confusion.

"He knows he took a bullet for you," Gaara whispered. "He knows that everything would've gone differently if it had been the two of you delivering the news, together, instead of him being alone, unprotected."

"But I wanted to do it together! I tried to contact him," Kankuro defended himself.

"Did you really?" Gaara asked. "Or did you just wait here, in the safety of your own house, and let Naruto do the deed?"

In exasperation, Kankuro sighed, so tired of his brother's sly innuendos. He straightened his posture and stared down the redhead. "What are you trying to say?"

"I am saying that you are a coward, and you always have been. You don't want to meddle in fights, and you always let other people do the dirty work. Like with me and Naruto's bullies. Like with me and father, too," the redhead elaborated.

Kankuro gritted his teeth, frustration boiling in him. He was not a coward. If anything, he was a sensible adult who didn't believe in the power of violence. It was always the last resort to get his message through.

"I am not a coward," he growled angrily and shoved his brother in the chest. He could not stand the fact that his brother had hurt Naruto in ways he could only imagine by now. How dared he? And now he had broken into his home, insulting him and accusing him and acting like his own doings were not a big deal. He hated that impassive, stone-cold look on the redhead's face. Didn't he have any remorse in him?

An amused expression came to the redhead's face. The jade eyes darkened, and it looked like the little brother really got some amusement out of this. It sickened Kankuro, and he had long ago learned to hate that unnatural delight.

"What are you going to do?" Gaara asked provocatively.

"This," Kankuro hissed as he punched his brother in the face, sending him backwards. The strength loaded into his fist surprised himself, too.

Slowly, Gaara recovered from the hit, touching his sore cheek. The goddamned amusement hadn't left his features, and it now had a much darker and more horrifying undertone. "So you know how to hit, after all."

Like wind he was at Kankuro, punching him in the stomach, and when the brunette fell down, he gripped his head and smashed it against the radiator so that the brunette's ears rang. The older brother screamed in pain, holding the side of his head.

Gaara smirked triumphantly, and this moment of freaky glee almost got his guard momentarily down. Suddenly, Kankuro lunged at Gaara, trying to get to his throat.

Just as quickly, Gaara blocked him and shoved him against the corner. Kankuro's body twitched as he hit the hard wall behind him.

Kankuro looked at his brother heatedly, wondering how bad Naruto had had it. How many broken bones, wounds, or mental scars…? With newfound anger, he jumped at his infuriating brother and toppled him over on the floor. He might not be better at swift punches but he had bigger mass. With that upper hand he pinned the redhead on the floor, trying to hold his hands still so that they could not hurt him. The sudden flash of fear (or was it really fear or something else?) in the jade eyes surprised him, it seemed so odd in this situation, but he had no time to think about it, as they were in the middle of a fight.

He was about to say something, when it suddenly hurt really badly, and he had to free his grip, and before he could get a grasp of the situation, all went black.

-o-o-o-

Slowly, consciousness crept back to his mind, waking up his aching body.

Even slower, he opened his eyes to the blurry room. A few blinks after everything sharpened back to normal. He was at home.

With a sudden alarm, he sat up, glancing around. His brother was nowhere to be seen. With hasty eyes he searched for a clock on the wall and realized he had lost about a half an hour.

He sighed, and rubbed his face, wincing as pain shot through his sore skin. His body hurt, and it was not because he had been lying on the hard floor for so long. Some fragments of the fight flashed through his memory. His brother really was dysfunctional when it came to expressing his anger. Even now, he had hard time believing how his brother could actually be able to hurt Naruto of all people.

Naruto!

The earlier panic was instantly back in him. He had to find the boy!

Hastily, he stood up and went to inspect his face in the bathroom mirror. The other side of his face was starting to swell and the area around his eye would probably blacken over time. His lower lip was split but not bleeding. Those things aside he seemed to be just fine.

Gently, he washed his face and disinfected the cut in his lip. After that he masked his skin with some foundation (and he would rather die than admit to anyone that he had indeed something as girly as that stored inside his bathroom closet). And when it came to closets, Kankuro mused to himself, maybe the foundation was not the only thing he had been hiding from the world.

After cleaning himself up and chancing his clothes, Kankuro hurried to Meadowville. His heart ached from worry and he felt like no bus could take him soon enough to his destination. Naruto's number was still not answering and by now, he was beyond sickened of that automatic machine voice already.

After what felt like an eternity, he was finally at the orphanage. Not wasting a second, he ran up the stairs and pounded at the boy's apartment door.

"Naruto!"

No answer.

He knocked again, calling his name. When he pressed his ear against the door, he couldn't hear anything. He sighed and rested his head against the cold wooden surface. An uneasy dread bubbled in his stomach. He tried to remind himself that maybe he was just overreacting this time. Surely the boy was just someplace near, and would be home soon?

Letting out a shaky breath, Kankuro closed his eyes. Yes, he was paranoid now wasn't he? He was just overreacting for sure. Yeah, that was it.

When he opened his eyes, he incidentally happened to pay attention to the mail hatch.

There was no name anymore.

There was not Naruto's name.

His inner levels of paranoia and fright instantly spiked up as he stared at the blank hatch with wide, unbelieving eyes. This was not true, no, this couldn't be. He let out an uneasy laugh and glanced around, just to make sure he was not on some candid camera or something. This had to be a joke, right? A sudden stab of dread in his stomach hurt like a well-aimed stiletto. No… this was not a joke.

As calmly as possible, he ran down the stairs, trying to keep desperation out of his step. With a wavering sigh, he looked at the door on the street level. The orphanage. The place looked uninviting even in the middle of the day, but had he really any other options? Surely they would know something, wouldn't they? After all, they had rented that apartment to Naruto and they were like family to him.

Yeah, Kankuro thought to himself before entering. They would soon tell him that the boy had moved a couple of blocks down the street or something, and after that everything would be back to normal. Yes, that's how this would go, he assured himself. With the little confidence he managed to generate, he opened the door.

"Um, hello?" he called as he cautiously stepped inside.

A blond lady walked down the hall peacefully. Her posture was straight and judging by the calm way she carried herself with, she was someone not easily intimidated.

With friendliness, she replied, "Good afternoon. How may I help you, sir?"

"I'm looking for someone who lived upstairs not so long ago," Kankuro began. When the lady gave her a prolonger stare, he continued. "Naruto Uzumaki."

"Oh," the lady said, and averted her gaze. Something akin to sadness flashed across her face. But as soon as it had appeared, it suddenly vanished. Then, with a calm expression she met the brunette's worrisome eyes like nothing had happened.

"He moved away," she explained.

"What?" Kankuro asked. "Do you know where?"

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that," the lady said with a sorry look.

"But―"

"We have rules about professional confidentiality and we are not allowed to give that kind of information to just anybody," the woman explained with some sort of apologetic look on her face.

"Oh…" Kankuro only said. He was about to say something but was cut off.

"May I ask who you are, sir?" the woman inquired politely but sternly. Her eyes momentarily glanced at his split lip.

"I'm Naruto's friend," he explained, hoping that the fact could get him some information. "My name is Kankuro Sabaku."

"Sabaku? I see," the lady spoke, her expression darkening, the earlier friendliness slightly shaking off. She glanced at the front door, then back at Kankuro.

Knowing that his time would soon be up, the brunette began with the kindest voice he could master. "Can you tell me why he moved out in the first place?"

The lady gave him a studying look, as if sizing up his trustworthiness. After some silent seconds, she spoke.

"Look, sir," she said, "I'm afraid I cannot tell you that. If you happen to meet him, you can ask him yourself." Her voice was now tense like a string of a violin.

Kankuro took the hint, knowing that he had overstayed his welcome. With a slight bow, he thanked the woman and bid her goodbye.

Back on the street, Kankuro stopped. The sun was shining brightly today, yet he paid no attention to it. All he could comprehend was the empty street, the residentless apartment, and the horrible dread that had only gotten stronger with each futile answer he had gotten from the lady.

With determination, he shooed the uncertainty deeper into the back of his mind, and walked briskly into the library. The boy had to be there, right? He had mentioned that place so many times. Carefully, he went through the place at least two or three times. The computers were occupied, but not a mop of blond hair was there. He even waited for some time in the lobby, in case the boy would suddenly walk through it.

After a few futile moments, his spirits began to sink and he forced himself to accept that Naruto was not in the library. With frustrated steps he went outside and stopped. He ignored the bright sunshine again. It meant nothing to him, at the moment. For all he cared, the world could burn down unless he found the one he was looking for.

His feet took him to Blackwater harbor, where they had visited when they had hung out together for the first time. Just like back then, the place was still haunting and forlorn, yet he had always found comfort in the silent melancholy. Why had he even thought the boy would be here of all places? Shaking his head in exasperation, he made his way to the little café that was nearby. They had eaten here once, and the boy had been reluctant to have anything expensive even though it had been Kankuro's treat.

As he had feared, Naruto was not in there. He even checked the men's toilet, just to be sure. When the girl at the register gave him a weird look, he smiled and bought a take-away coffee. Outside and out of sight, he poured the coffee to the ground and tossed the cardboard mug into a nearby trash can.

Weakly, Kankuro pushed the rising desperation away, not wanting to think how good-hearted the boy was. It would only sadden him more, and he couldn't afford to wallow in his grief now. Right now, he needed to be functional and cool-headed, no matter how impossible it felt. With fastening pace, he made his way to the center of Konoha, and the walk there felt long and slow, like he was walking in water, or in a dream.

He started from the mall, and peeked inside the game arcade he knew Naruto favored. Among the excited kids occupying the machines there was not the one kid he was looking for. Sighing, he looked around but all he saw was grey masses that he did not care for.

A few feet away there was that one pub where Naruto had sung Blueberry Hill to the ecstatic audience. With a lot of clapping and even some whistles, the boy had bowed down to the audience back then. That particular memory had often popped into his mind.

As he now looked into the pub, the stage was empty and dark, and the tired-looking, swaying gentlemen slouching at the bar counter were certainly not what he had been searching for.

At the center of the mall, he sat down for a moment, putting his face in his hands. Already knowing what the result would be, he dialed Naruto's number. The moment he heard the dreaded robotic voice, he hung up.

He couldn't give up now. He had to keep on searching! Naruto needed him, he was sure of it, and he couldn't sleep or rest until he knew the boy was safe and healthy. A dark fear had constantly lingered in the back of his mind the whole time. What if Naruto was seriously hurt, even hospitalized? He hadn't wanted to thoroughly address that fear but now he thought he maybe should do something about it.

With slightly shaking hands, he dialed the number to Konoha Hospital. The line beeped three times before someone picked up.

"Konoha Hospital," the voice said.

"Hello. I was calling to ask you if a person who's close to me has been brought to your care," Kankuro said. "His name is Naruto Uzumaki."

"We can only give information like that to a patient's relatives or a spouse. Are you a relative of his?" the receptionist asked.

Kankuro sighed by himself, ignoring the fact that the receptionist had overlooked the possibility that indeed he could be another man's spouse. Their society was not as open-minded as everyone thought. Not feeling like introducing himself as Naruto's spouse, for the boy was just seventeen, he pondered the other option. He had never heard of any of Naruto's relatives. Did the boy even have any? What would their names be?

After a second he cleared his throat. "I'm his spouse. And my name is Kankuro Sabaku."

The line went quiet for a while. Only a faint tapping of the keyboard was heard from the other end of the line.

"Sorry sir, I can't find your name from his file. I'm afraid I cannot give you the information you asked," the receptionist said in a firm but friendly way.

"I see," Kankuro said, dull desperation once again filling him. "Thanks anyway. Bye," he said before hanging up.

Disappointment and growing dread were already slowing down his steps. He had to keep on looking. He couldn't give up now. Not letting the recent setback get him down, he moved on and found himself standing in front of Naruto's favorite restaurant, the little ramen stand called Ramen Ichiraku. As he noticed that his precious person was not among the customers, he walked to the counter and waved at the chef. The little nameplate on his shirt read 'Teuchi'.

"Excuse me, uh, Teuchi," Kankuro cleared his throat, giving a friendly look. "Have you seen this blond boy who often comes here?"

"There are a lot of blond kids coming here," the man said, shrugging.

"I mean the one who wolfs down two bowls of pork ramen, at once."

"Oh, you mean Naruto?" Teuchi's eyes lighted up instantly, and he smiled.

"Yeah," Kankuro confirmed, smiling a little himself, too.

"I haven't seen him in a long time. Maybe a month ago?" the chef guessed, looking into distance in deep thought.

"Oh." Kankuro felt his spirits sinking. He lowered his gaze, like in defeat. Then, after a brief moment, he addressed the man again. "You wouldn't have any idea where I could find him?"

"Hmm," Teuchi said, rubbing his chin pensively. Then, his eyes lighted up a bit, and with a small smile he turned to Kankuro. "He often tells me he has this one friend, I don't remember the name, sorry. But what he has told me he's a barber and lives in a forest. Maybe you should try to look for him, maybe he knows."

"Yeah, thanks," Kankuro said feebly, looking a bit sadly at the man in front of him.

He bid goodbye to the chef and walked away, his feet heavy. This search was futile. He would never find him, and the thought caused his eyes to sting, a warning of on-coming tears. Furiously, he blinked a few times and refused to give up. With unknown confidence, he decided to go check the bus terminal, just in case.

His eyes scanned the people in the terminal, desperately trying to spot something yellow. There were many shades of dull brown, even black, but not yellow…

…Until he saw something spiky and blond peeking from behind a backrest of a chair.

He hurried over, almost tripping on his own feet, never letting that spiky mop of hair out of his sight.

It had to be him, no one else had that kind of unruly hair.

The weight lifted from his heart, and it felt like his shoes had suddenly wings as he came closer to the long-searched figure.

"Naruto!" he exclaimed, and then the person turned their head to him.

And just as suddenly as his joy had risen, it sunk so quickly he felt nauseated. This was not Naruto. This was not even a guy!

"Sorry," Kankuro breathed, and hurried away into a deserted corner of the terminal. His stomach felt sick, his feet were heavy like lead, and his mind was spinning. This was not fair, and he felt like tears were about to erupt again, but with manly determination he didn't let them come.

With deepening depression, he stayed in the bus terminal for two hours. With his eyes, he relentlessly kept on searching for something yellow, for something orange. From time to time, he checked the platforms too, just in case.

When sun began to set, and no sign of Naruto was spotted, Kankuro decided to head home. There was a tiny possibility that the boy would come to his house, and if that happened, he wanted to be there. Naruto had not a spare key to his place, and he didn't even want to think of the boy quivering outside in the freeze, waiting for someone to let him in.

Kankuro was now standing at his porch. The red door of his house greeted him as cheerful as ever, but right now he couldn't feel much joy for being home. As he had secretly feared, there were no new footprints on the snow. Only his own hurried steps in and out were visible. And those long strides must've been Gaara's. It looked like he had run from here.

Finally, as the exhaustion of this horrendous day hit him, he sat down on the hallway floor next to all of his shoes. He would sleep here, leaning on the wall. Not that his bed wasn't inviting and super soft, but he was afraid he wouldn't hear if certain someone were to knock at his door. Of course his house had a doorbell, but what if he slept through the ringing? Here, right next to the door, he wouldn't miss it.

So, with constant alertness in his mind, his closed his eyes and leaned against the front door, trying to get as comfortable as possible.

-o-o-o-

Man, it had snowed.

Everything was so very white and unrecognizable.

What if he got lost on his way? Except he knew he wouldn't, for he had memorized this route into his heart long time ago. He could come here even in his dreams, and many times, it had actually happened.

Soon after, a familiar cozy cabin peeked from behind the trees. That red door looked so out of place. Naruto shook his head in amusement. Kankuro was weird in his own, charming way.

Hoping the brunette would be home, he rang the doorbell.

After what sounded like a muffled gasp, the door opened and a sleepy looking Kankuro rolled over the doorstep. Had he been lying there on the floor or something?

"Naruto!" he screamed as he quickly got up, staring at the boy with a mix of anxiety and relief.

"Morning," Naruto smiled, trying to sound carefree, even though a small, growing part of him was equally anxious.

Before he knew it, he was pulled into a crushing hug which felt like it lasted for an eternity. For a moment he was sure that Kankuro would never let him go.

And Kankuro thought so too, for he just wanted to keep this boy in his arms forever, out of harm's way. Naruto was warm and he could feel his heart beating rapidly, just like his own. The boy's face was unharmed, and he hoped the rest of him would be so, too. He let out a wavering sigh and gently released him from the desperate hug.

"I was so worried," Kankuro breathed.

"I'm sorry," the blond said, but before he could say anything more he was once again pulled into a warm, tight hug.

Soon after they were sitting on the sofa, and Kankuro was holding Naruto's hands in his, looking at the boy incessantly like he would disappear if he didn't do so.

"What happened?" Kankuro finally asked, worry taking over his features. "Your phone wasn't working, and you had moved away…" he whispered, squeezing the boy's hands.

"I know. I'm sorry I got you worried," Naruto said, trying to master his best comforting smile.

When the brunette only looked at him with anticipation and increasing worry, he gulped and wondered where to begin.

"He didn't take it very well," Naruto finally replied, and the calmness in his voice felt exaggerated. When the brunette looked at him darkly, he continued.

"We were at my place, and finally the moment felt right to tell him," Naruto told, still wondering how hard it had been to voice out the bad news to his now ex-boyfriend. He could still easily recall the exact moment, and he shivered.

"I told him that I couldn't be with him, anymore," Naruto said, and the brunette squeezed his hands. He still couldn't get out of his mind that sadder than sad expression on Gaara's face. It looked like he had died on the inside. "And he asked me, like he was suspecting something, if it had anything to do with you," Naruto gulped but went on. "And I couldn't deny it."

And at that moment, he vividly remembered, he was sure he had heard Gaara's heart snap in two. The dead void inside the redhead had seemed to fill with something warm, something hot that was trying to get to the surface.

Kankuro listened, looking at the boy sympathetically.

Naruto lowered his gaze, his blue eyes sadder than ever.

"He told me to get out," he said. It had been a low whisper, nothing like the redhead's normal voice. It had been a warning. "But I didn't leave because I wanted to comfort him. It was my fault he was in pain." Now there was a thick feeling in his voice.

"Oh Naruto," Kankuro whispered and pulled the blond a bit closer to himself. He was afraid where this story would lead.

"I couldn't leave him there," Naruto whispered, shaking his head. "I reached out to him, trying to comfort him. But he pushed me away, into the corner."

Kankuro gulped, remembering all too well the rough treatment he had received from the redhead just yesterday. "Oh god…"

"And then… then he started to trash my apartment," the blond told, a shiver of fright running up his spine even now. "And I tried to get to him, to make him calm down but he pushed me away again, screaming at me to get away."

"But you didn't," Kankuro already guessed, pulling the boy into a loose hug and drawing gentle circles on his back.

"He grabbed me," Naruto went on, leaning into the brunette's comforting touch. "And he threw me into the bathroom. And when I tried to get out, he had already locked me up in there."

"Huh?" Kankuro asked, looking down at the boy. Naruto then continued.

"He locked me up in there, and I couldn't get out. He must've moved the drawer against the door or something. Through the door, I could hear him on the other side, smashing my things and my furniture… and I guess my phone got broken in the process, too."

After a short silence, Naruto explained further. "I banged at the bathroom door, begging him to let me out but he didn't. It was like he didn't even hear me. He was so caught up in his anger." To know that he had caused that much pain to another person, a loved-one nonetheless, made his insides hurt. It had been the most frightening experience he had ever had. But guilt and fright hadn't been the only emotions occupying his mind at that time… In a dark and neglected part of his consciousness, anger had also tried to rise to the surface. But back then, he had determinedly pushed it away.

"And when he finally opened the door…" Naruto trailed off, flinching like the jade eyes were still boring into him. "He grabbed my chest and told me he never wanted to see me again." The cold fury in those eyes had made his blood stagnate back then, and even now he shivered. "And then he left, leaving me into my completely annihilated apartment."

"So he never hurt you...?" Kankuro trailed off. He had already mentally prepared himself to hear a story about his brother mauling his precious blond.

"He never hurt me physically, and I haven't seen him since," Naruto said with a sad expression on his face. He looked at the brunette's split lip. "But I guess you have."

"O-oh yeah," Kankuro replied, absentmindedly touching his own face. "He was here yesterday, and we got into a fight."

"Oh no," Naruto whispered, caressing the brunette's cheek ever so slightly. Kankuro smoothed down the spiky blond hair.

"From what he told me, I thought that something horrible had happened to you. Of course I got really angry with him and we ended up fighting," Kankuro explained, hugging the blond a bit tighter.

"As quickly as possible, I came to see you but you had moved away," he continued, freaked out even now. "And the lady in the orphanage looked at me really suspiciously and refused to tell me anything!"

Naruto smiled. "I know. They're like that. And especially Tsunade, the old lady you likely met, is a tough one. After what happened, I had to move back to the orphanage."

"Why couldn't she tell me that?" Kankuro pondered, more to himself than to Naruto, worry once again clear in his voice.

"They've been pretty cautious lately, and I can't blame them. I'm sure that Gaara destroying my apartment got them scared, and the name Sabaku will be remembered there for a long time. They're obliged to keep the kids safe, after all."

"I know," the brunette said softly, and gently touched the whiskered cheek.

"But Tsunade told me you had been looking for me, and I came here as soon as I could," Naruto told, smiling softly. "I would've called you, but I didn't have enough money to get a new phone just yet." His face fell. He hated being poor and pitiful. But at the moment he tried his best not feel sorry because of that.

"Don't worry about it," the brunette whispered. He could drown into those incredibly blue eyes, and he was more than relieved, more than ecstatic to have the boy here in his arms, safe and intact. His brother's words had really made him believe something terrible had happened to the boy, but now that he knew Naruto's side of the story, he felt relieved.

A small part of him felt bad for actually thinking something so horrible of his own brother. Even though he had been caught up in his own worry and anger, he shouldn't have started a fight. Things had to be resolved through talking and listening, and not via bodily harm. He knew his brother didn't share his idea, and given their family history he couldn't fully blame him for that.

Later, he would have to apologize him in a way or another―for many things past and present. And hopefully, his little brother would learn a sane way to deal with his emotions and see the parts in his behavior that needed to change. Trashing an apartment was certainly not acceptable. Even though Naruto hadn't been hurt, it didn't make the redhead's actions any less reprehensible.

-o-o-o-

Now that the boy was sitting there on the couch, immersed in a rather childish reality-TV program, Kankuro was busying himself in the kitchen, making them something to eat. He knew the boy would be hungry, for the kid always looked a bit starved. And now that he thought back, he hadn't really eaten anything since yesterday. Strangely, hunger hadn't disturbed him at all until now.

He thanked all the possible deities humankind had ever invented for keeping Naruto safe and sound. For the past weeks he had been so immersed in worrying about the break-up that he had not spared a thought for what would happen once Naruto was single.

And now the blond sat there, blissfully unaware of his confusion.

In a way, it scared Kankuro how easily things had taken a heated and passionate turn the last time he had been with Naruto. Now in retrospect, he felt like they had been in a brink of engaging into gay sex. Sure, in the heat of the moment it hadn't felt like a too big of a deal, but now that his mind was not clouded by hormones, the sheer idea scared him.

Of course he had subtly tried to get information what it really meant to be with another man in a sexual way. The search had been doomed quite futile from the beginning, though, as the computers in the library weren't exactly meant for that kind of research, and his cell phone was ancient. At home, he didn't have a computer of his own, much less an internet connection.

So the only available sources to enlighten him about his curiosity were actually his brother and the innocent boy on the couch. Even if there never had been any feud between them, he would not have the guts to ask Gaara anything that even side-stepped the veiled topic, and he was sure as hell that the redhead would have an equal amount of reluctance to explain it to him. Besides, asking something like that right after their love triangle would be like rubbing salt in the wounds.

And that left Naruto to be the sole option on his short list.

It bothered Kankuro greatly that he would no doubt appear inexperienced in the eyes of his future lover―if things would lead to them actually ending up together. It was a thought he did not want to ponder at the moment, so he quickly directed his attention back to his original cause of stress. With his earlier partners, he had most often given an experienced and collected image of himself. He had had confidence in what he had been doing with his girlfriends, and he had known how to make his partner feel good. But with a male, he felt confused. Even though they had the same parts, it didn't mean he automatically knew what to do.

A small part of him hoped Naruto wouldn't mind about his inexperience. A larger part of him constantly kept on reminding him that the boy would (even on a subconscious level) compare his skills to those of Gaara's. What if Naruto would be disappointed in him? There was a chance that the boy would find him lame and unsatisfactory and leave. That, if anything, would surely destroy his last slim hopes of ever finding true companionship and love.

"Looks good."

Kankuro startled at Naruto's sudden presence. The boy gave his arm a subtle, hasty caress that left his skin tingling. Suddenly he felt dizzy, and he hoped the sensation would go away.

"This is just porridge and blueberries," he finally said, finding his voice. Earlier in the autumn, he had collected the berries by himself from the surrounding forests. No wonder they had named this area Blueberry Hill.

They ate in front of the TV. Purposely, Kankuro had placed the remote between them. The blond hadn't indicated in any way what their relationship now was, or what he wanted it to be in the future. Kankuro wanted to be more than just friends, even though it scared him. He felt not comfortable voicing out his idea, not yet at least. What if Naruto didn't feel the same?

What if he had been just a tool for the boy, a reason to break up with Gaara? What if he had only been used?

Before his insecure thoughts could spiral any further downwards into the depths of full-blown anxiety, Naruto placed a hand on his knee.

"Thanks for the food," the blond said, smiling. "And for everything."

"It was nothing. And I have hardly done anything for you to be thankful of," Kankuro replied.

"Nonsense," Naruto denied gently, his hand moving slightly upwards to the brunette's thigh. "You've done a great deal for me."

"I wasn't there with you when you told Gaara…"

"That was because I didn't want you to be there. It was something I had to do alone," the blond explained, his blue eyes full of compassion and warmth.

"If you say so," Kankuro said with reconciliation in his voice. He didn't agree with the boy, but felt not like arguing with him at the moment.

Naruto smiled at him, and withdrew his hand that had been resting on the man's thigh. He had noticed the tenseness in him, and wondered why that was. Maybe the brunette wasn't sure how to act around him after what had happened between them. As he recalled their moment of mutual heat three weeks prior, a warm feeling spread all over him. Back then, it had been a dream come true (with unfortunate consequences however) and with that blossoming sense of hope in his heart he had been able to push through everything that had happened afterwards.

But now the target of his springlike feelings was reserved and uneasy around him, and he was beginning to fear that in the time between Kankuro had changed his mind. As far as he knew, Kankuro was not used to dating guys. He had never mentioned anything that would lead him into believing that he had much personal experience on homosexuality. It couldn't be that their special moment had been just a heated night their hormones had gotten the better of them, could it? Then again, Kankuro had made the first move. There had to be real feelings behind that.

"It's getting late," Naruto pointed out, looking out of the window into the darkening forest. He wanted to stay here. "I better get going."

"Oh, okay," Kankuro said, his voice not letting out any emotion.

When Naruto was at the door, ready to leave, he noticed Kankuro was digging something out of his pocket. A wallet.

"Here," the brunette said, handing him money.

Naruto's eyes went wide, and with a questioning look he stared at the man.

"Get yourself a phone, please?" Kankuro spoke. "I want you to be able to contact me, or anybody for the matter".

"No. I can't take it," Naruto said, his throat suddenly very tight. He gulped down the lump that had risen there.

"Yes you can," Kankuro smiled, taking hold of Naruto's hand and placing the bills on his palm.

"Kankuro…" the blond muttered, wondering if he should accept the gesture or not. One look into the onyx eyes told him that the brunette would not give in on this matter. Quietly but reluctantly he pocketed the money.

-o-o-o-

Sometimes he hated it here.

It wasn't that the people here were mean to him or anything, but they were constantly present and subtly engaging him into communication he sometimes wanted to avoid. He loved them, they were his family but right now, he'd rather be alone―or with a certain brunette, if it were possible.

A lot had happened in the past weeks and he needed time to think.

When he had explained to the people of the orphanage what had happened to his apartment, he had carefully left out the fact that Gaara had been his boyfriend. Any mention of their love triangle was also erased from the official truth he had come up with.

Instead he had explained that the redhead was a friend of his, a friend who was recovering from anger management issues and whom he had only tried to help. And when it came to the legal claims against Gaara, which the staff of the orphanage had talked about, Naruto hoped that the alleged mental problems would commute said claims.

There were many things in his past relationship with Gaara that unnerved him. The redhead's subtly-jealous, controlling habits were just one thing. The lack of own space had bothered him also, and on many occasions he had regretted giving his spare key to his boyfriend. With that gesture a large part of his privacy had been traded away without him receiving anything better in return.

Even though he was still frightened as he recalled his last moments with Gaara, Naruto couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He had done a mean thing to him, and there was no excuse for it. He should've handled it better. But when he had learned of Kankuro's surprising feelings towards him, he hadn't been able to think as rationally as he now knew he should've.

"Naruto, what are you doing?"

A young boy was staring at him as he was on his phone on the upper bed of their shared bunk bed.

"Nothing," Naruto replied and put his phone away. He had sent Kankuro his new phone number but so far, the brunette hadn't contacted him. It had been a few days now, and the uncertainty and guilt were getting him into a lousy mood.

"Do you want to play cards with me?" the young boy asked, still staring at him. When the expression on the blond's face didn't change, the boy added. "Please, Naruto-niisan?"

"Alright Konohamaru, get the cards," Naruto sighed, an involuntary smile coming to his face. The younger ones were sometimes annoying, sometimes not, but he loved them all nevertheless and would always defend them like they were his real siblings. He had never had any, and the pain of loneliness was all too familiar to him. If he could prevent it, he would make no one go through the same. He wondered briefly what Kankuro was doing at the moment. Did he feel lonely?

Naruto climbed down from the bunk bed, and they sat down on the floor. As the young boy began enthusiastically shuffling the deck and then dealing the cards, he couldn't prevent his sour mood slowly letting go of him. At least for now, he was distracted enough to not dwell on 'what ifs'.

There were seven kids plus him living in this large room. There were four bunk beds, and one upper bed was his. They had a curfew at 8 p.m. and no privacy whatsoever. Currently Naruto was the oldest, being seventeen. Sometimes it bothered him that there weren't really people of his age around. The youngest kid was about four years old, and the second oldest was twelve. The personnel of the orphanage were all plus forty or fifty, or so Naruto perceived them to be.

For the most of the time he felt he wasn't a kid anymore, and he had taken the role of protective big brother towards the younger ones. But he wasn't in the adult league yet, for he couldn't really mentally connect with the staff. And sometimes it felt they didn't get him, either. The only person he felt truly home with was Kankuro…

They had played what felt like twenty rounds already. Konohamaru wanted to play one more, but it was already bed time and they had to quit. It warmed Naruto's heart to see the sheer joy on Konohamaru's face, as the boy boasted to his peers how he had won every round. Naruto chuckled by himself. It never ceased to be amusing how important it was for the little kids to win an 'oldie' like him in something as simple as a card game.

"Naruto…" Konohamaru began as the blond was tucking him in. "You didn't let me win on purpose, did you?"

"Of course not," Naruto said seriously. "I would never do that," he then added with a friendly little smile. "Good night," he bid as he climbed up to his own upper bed.

When the lights were out, Naruto pulled the covers over himself and took out his phone again. No one had tried to contact him. Now that everything was quiet and dark, his earlier moment of fleeting carefreeness was once again dissolving. Not letting his uncertainty get the upper hand, he began to text.

'Hi. Are you still awake?' he texted.

After a minute or so, Kankuro replied. 'Yeah. What's up?'

'Wanna hang out tomorrow?' Naruto wrote. Tomorrow was Saturday.

'Sure. I don't have work on weekend. Do you wanna come here or…?'

'Yes.' And instantly Naruto regretted his hasty (but truthful) answer. He didn't want to appear too desperate. What if Kankuro thought he was pitiful?

'Okay. What time will you be here?'

Naruto pondered for a moment. He wanted to spend the whole day with the brunette, but he wasn't sure if the desire was mutual. Deciding to aim for a compromise, he wrote: 'How about 11?'

'That's fine by me. See you then.'

And with that read, Naruto put his phone away. "Goodnight," he whispered quietly to no one in the room. The unpleasant tension in him was slowly changing into a titillating anticipation that bubbled in the pit of his stomach. He tried to calm himself down, telling himself that morning would come in no time if he now fell asleep.

A thought of Gaara came back to him. He had pondered if he should try to contact him, ask him how he was doing. He felt like he owed him. After all, it was all thanks to the redhead that Kiba and his gangers were no longer his problem. Added to that, the redhead had had the patience to teach him self-defense, something no one had ever done before. Gaara was the first gay person he had ever met or dated, and his first time in bed had been with him, too.

They shared a bond he had with no one else. He would never forget him even though their relationship hadn't worked out in the end. He hoped the redhead would learn to handle his controlling tendencies, for Naruto had a feeling that any romantic relationship would sooner or later be withered by it. Sadly he hadn't been able to help him in that matter.

He had memorized Gaara's phone number. Should he text him?

Then again, the cold fury in the jade eyes had clearly told him that he was the last person Gaara wanted to hear of. The way the redhead had stormed out of his apartment, head held high and confidence in his every step, gave him an impression that Gaara wasn't in need of consoling.

The fact that Gaara had actually destroyed his belongings made him angry. Nevertheless, his anger was often suppressed by the guilt he had for cheating on him. Being an orphan and an outcast had made him polite and humble, never wanting to anger anyone even when it would be justified. But whenever he looked past those restrictions in his thinking, the bubbly feeling of injustice rose to the surface.

He had never had much stuff to begin with, being poor and orphan. Even so, all that little had been taken away from him in one furious moment and he had been sent back down here with the kids. It was degrading and he hated this regression. Sometimes it felt like his life was going backwards.

And whenever Naruto let go of his ever-present guilt, he came face to face with an idea that what Gaara had done to his apartment was not a justified response to his decision to break up. True, he had been involved with his brother and cheated on him. Nevertheless, it didn't give the redhead the right to destroy something that was not his.

Now that his anger had gotten a firm footing in his mind, his earlier sympathy towards his ex-boyfriend was slowly sinking under the surface. He hadn't deserved to lose his belongings. Trashing his apartment was just another (albeit extreme) way to control his life even after their break up.

And with that thought, Naruto huffed, deciding he had no moral obligation to contact him.

-o-o-o-

It wasn't even a minute past 11 when the doorbell rang. Kankuro hadn't imagined the blond would be capable of such punctuality.

"Welcome," he smiled at the orange-yellow sight on his doorstep. Naruto's cheeks were red from freeze and the tips of his hair were once again frozen, and it was a true miracle how that sunny smile on his face hadn't already melted them.

"Did you miss me?" Naruto said in a joking manner, trying to hide his own uncertainty under a carefree demeanor.

Kankuro tensed a bit, trying to smile it off, fearing that his rigid appearance would give the wrong impression. Finally, he was able to answer but his voice was rasped. "Yeah…"

Naruto only gave him a mysterious look and took off his jacket and shoes. It was warm inside and he had already begun to sweat under his thick coat. Hushing his own jumping heart, he closed the distance between them and hugged him.

The tension that had been in Kankuro, soon melted away and was replaced by growing warmth. He hugged the boy too, hoping his grip wasn't too tight, or too desperate. He couldn't smell the cedar, and it occurred to him then that maybe the perfume had been lost with the apartment, who knew, but he could smell the scent that was Naruto, and it was even better than any artificial fragrance could ever be.

A familiar musk and vanilla lingered on the brunette's shirt, on his skin, and Naruto inhaled with pleasure, his knees getting weak at the sheer sensation. He wondered if he was crazy, or if he was moving on too fast, but he wanted to know. And he hoped everything would turn out like in his dreams but he had tried to prepare himself for the opposite outcome, too. Very tentatively, he kissed Kankuro on the neck, testing the waters.

Instantly the man tensed again, his grip on Naruto slightly loosening. Naruto couldn't be sure if it was Kankuro's heart beating so loudly, or his own, but the rhythm and the anticipation made him dizzy.

"Is this really alright?" Kankuro whispered.

For an answer, Naruto gave a light peck to his neck, to a different spot than the one before. The brunette's arms around him tightened their hold on him.

"What if somebody finds out?" Kankuro asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not even an adult yet. And I, on the other hand…" Kankuro trailed off, looking worriedly at the blond. He still remembered the studying look the lady at the orphanage had given him. That look would be on everyone's face if they found out that he, Kankuro, was having an affair with an underage.

"Would it even be legal?"

Naruto broke free from the hug. He knew where Kankuro was coming from and he had given a thought to it, too. "We don't have to make it public. At least not until you feel comfortable about it."

"But would that be right to you? How would you feel being in a closet like that?" Kankuro asked, knowing all too well that his brother hadn't had any problem with publicly engaging himself with an underage male.

"It doesn't matter to me. I am already in the closet, or out of it, depending on the company I am at the time," Naruto said. Given their society's current cultural atmosphere, he would have to keep doing that for the rest of his life. Being in the minority meant that he had to have at least two faces depending on where he was. "As long as I can share it with you, I don't care."

Kankuro looked at the blond, into his deep blue eyes, and he wondered once again what a mysterious siren the boy was. His gaze dropped to the whiskered cheeks, and he wondered where he had gotten those strange marks. Quickly, his attention moved to his lips, and a memory of how they had felt against his own flashed into his mind. Just as quickly, he turned around and made his way to the kitchen.

"Do you want something to eat?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

Maybe if they had something to drink or eat, something to occupy their mouths with, they wouldn't end up drowning into each other's touches like that one time… He wanted it, yet he was afraid. His own inexperience and the society's assumed opinion scared him. Naruto said he didn't care. It seemed that all the boy really wanted was him. But would he be enough?

"Kankuro…" Naruto said, and he was once again so very close to him.

What if Naruto would get bored with him, like many others before him? They never stayed, and it was partly his own fault, too, but who would guarantee that Naruto wouldn't be like that? His heart was offered on a silver plate to the boy, and it had been a long time since he had done this to anyone. Long ago he had built defensive walls around him, around his heart, to prevent himself from getting hurt again.

And now he wasn't only afraid of getting himself hurt, but hurting the blond, too. He wasn't good at relationships of any kind. The truth was he was awful with them. Why hadn't Naruto noticed this in him?

"What if it won't work out? I'm not really good with relationships…" Kankuro asked.

"I have a good feeling about us," Naruto only replied, trusting his gut instinct.

"I've failed so many times," the brunette pointed out.

"Maybe they were all wrong people," the blond suggested, a mysterious look in his eyes. "Maybe it was fate."

"What if fate will do the same trick this time, too?"

"Well, you can't be certain of it in advance. The only thing you can do is to try," Naruto replied.

The siren was right. There was no way to know how the future would be like. No one would know about them if they never told anyone. Here in the woods, with no neighbors or presence of society but only the surrounding wilderness, they could be free. His heart suddenly lightening, Kankuro finally let go of his pressing concerns for a while and kissed Naruto.

-o-o-o-

They had gone for a walk around the forest but the freeze had done nothing to Kankuro's torrid emotions. Naruto was adorable and his laughter and joy were insidiously contagious. He made Kankuro feel young again. It was a true wonder why Naruto had chosen him of all people.

Currently they were lying on the bed, and Kankuro kept on feverishly wondering if this had been a good idea after all. A sense of danger lingered in the air. They had a safe distance between them now but it could be destroyed at any moment.

It was getting dark already. "When was your curfew again?" Kankuro asked.

"At eight. But I told them I might not be coming," Naruto said.

"What do you mean?"

"I told them I might stay the night here," the blond said, and when he noticed the look on Kankuro's face, he added, "At my friend's place. Don't worry, they don't suspect anything."

"Oh…" Kankuro said, relieved and horrified at the same time. How much longer could he resist the tempting desires that dwelled in him? And now the blond was willing to stay the night in here… "How much longer you have to live in there?"

"Until I'm eighteen. They don't have another apartment to rent for me. And I doubt they would if they had one, given how royally I screwed up…" Naruto said, angry at himself for causing extra expenses to them. They had been really nice to him and look how he had managed to destroy that trust.

"Of course they would let me move out if I had a place where to go," he then said, wondering if he should really check if there were any cheap apartments on the rental market.

"You could always live here… with me," Kankuro said.

"Really? You would want to live with me?" Naruto repeated, his eyes widening in astonishment.

"You could say your friend has a spare room for you," the brunette thought. Except there was no spare room and he was way more involved with him than just on a friend-level. But the staff didn't need to know that, especially not the stern lady who had looked at him like she already suspected him of something.

"If it's really no problem for you, I could ask them about it," Naruto smiled and inched closer to the brunette. "Thank you."

"No need to thank. If you really want to live here, that's okay. But if you'd rather have a place of your own, I can help you find one," Kankuro said.

For an answer, Naruto kissed him. Another kiss was placed on his cheek, then on his jawline, one down on his neck…

Kankuro felt torrent of mixing emotions once again stirring in him. He caressed the blond hair, and soon his touch traveled down to the boy's neck, to his shoulders and then to his back. When Naruto put his hand under his shirt, and it was now just skin on skin, the floodgate in his mind broke and he vividly remembered their secret little evening of shared passion. He had never felt anything like that before―not mentally or physically.

"Naruto…" he said with a raspy voice. "I'm not sure if…"

Naruto looked at the brunette, and was not surprised to see confusion and shame on his face. From the man's previous tenseness, he had guessed that he must've had some concerns given this kind of closeness.

"Is everything alright?" the blond asked, withdrawing his hand.

"Yeah, everything's fine," Kankuro quickly said, trying to appear confident even though he wasn't. "It's just that…" he trailed off, not sure how to phrase his thoughts. Never before had he been in a situation like this. He had always known how to do these things―with a woman. Now though, that experience didn't help him much. It was a thought he didn't like to be thinking, but his brother was no doubt way more experienced than him, and Naruto would in no time notice the difference. And when that happened, what would happen to them?

"Is this new to you?" Naruto asked, caressing the brunette's stomach through the fabric of his shirt. "If it is, it's alright."

Kankuro sighed. This was going to be embarrassing. He didn't even know how to give a proper blowjob. Sure, he knew what felt good when someone else did it, but doing it to another guy was a different story.

"I'm not actually very experienced with dating a guy," Kankuro finally said, giving a quick glance at the boy.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," Naruto said kindly, his hand fiddling the hem of the brunette's shirt. The man had outlined his eyes with kohl today and it always gave an intense look into those onyx depths. Even when the brunette was seemingly insecure, that sharp look in his eyes was melting Naruto at every second. He didn't care if the brunette was new to this. What he wanted was the almost supernatural connection between them, how his skin tingled wherever he touched him, and the pleasant torrents of shivers only he was able to get course through him.

"You know," Kankuro began, looking elsewhere as if in shame. "I'd really like to make you enjoy. Not with just my hand, but…" And then, he gave a meaningful look at the blond.

"O-Oh," Naruto stuttered, heat gushing to his face. "It's very easy actually."

"Do you want me to try?" Kankuro whispered, gently caressing the blond's blushed cheek. He was really going to do this, was he?

"I'd love to," Naruto said, already squirming in anticipation. "But I'd like to take a shower first, if that's alright?"

"By all means. Mind if I join you?" the brunette asked, winking. No matter what he felt inside, he was now determined to act as a confident guy. It was the only role he knew, really, in situations like these.

The 'act' really worked on Naruto. His pants were getting tight and the room surely felt hotter than just a minute ago. Together, they made their way to the bathroom. Right there Naruto remembered how he had been given clean, dry clothes and a super soft towel the first time he'd been here. However that towel could not compare to these tender caresses Kankuro was now giving him, as their clothes slowly made their way to the floor. Who would've guessed they'd end up like this?

The shower space was almost two times as large as the one Naruto had had. They had more room now, but still chose to stand close to each other. They washed themselves, every now and then sparing a caress to each other.

"I'll help you wash your back," Kankuro whispered to Naruto's ear as he stood behind him. He started to soap to the boy's back, but soon enough his hands found his chest and stomach. It seemed the blond enjoyed, so he was confident to carry on. He pulled the blond's back against him, and kissed his neck, and the way Naruto's breathing became momentarily heavier pleased him.

Naruto closed his eyes, drowning into caresses. Those hands were teasing him, for they paid attention to every part of his body except to the area that demanded attention the most. Kankuro's hard dick was pressing against his behind, teasing him, and still those hands wouldn't get to where he wanted them to.

He was about to call out this injustice, when the hands withdrew and Kankuro stepped away. The brunette turned off the shower, and when he saw the look on the blond's face, he explained.

"The boiler's going to run out of warm water eventually, so better turn the water off now. Wouldn't want it to turn freezing in the middle of anything, right?" he smiled.

"Right," Naruto laughed, finding the idea somehow funny.

Kankuro gave him a kiss, and his hands found the boy's shoulders again. He was really going to do this―going down on a guy! The blue eyes quivered with pent-up excitement, and it encouraged him to continue. It would be cruel to tease the blond much longer, so he let his hands travel down on his chest to his hips while he kneeled in front of him.

When he took hold of Naruto's hard penis, the boy let out a quiet gasp. Tentatively, Kankuro gave it a few strokes and then put the tip in his mouth. A louder gasp was the encouragement he got. He wanted to say to the boy to not get his expectations too high because he was probably going to suck, but the joke felt so lame he kept it to himself. Slowly, he rolled the tip around with his tongue, adding pressure when he caressed the joint on the underside.

Naruto was leaning on the tiles, their coolness bringing odd pleasure at the moment. The soft touch of Kankuro's tongue and the occasional sucking sensation were steadily unbinding all the knots that kept together his rational thinking. There was something unexplainably arousing to see his own dick vanish into another man's mouth. Just then the brunette pressed his tongue against the tip again and he had to close his eyes for a moment, taking in the wonderful pleasure.

Kankuro was secretly pleased at the reactions he was able to draw from the blond. Maybe he was really doing something right, after all. Now that he had gotten over his shock of actually giving a blowjob to another male he could say this wasn't so weird, after all. He tried to take Naruto's penis as deep in his mouth as he could until his gag reflexes kicked in. He couldn't get it in all the way, though, but his effort seemed to arouse the blond.

He could already taste precum and he guessed the boy wouldn't be too far from actually coming. With a steady rhythm, he continued to suck and pump, and every now and then he concentrated on teasing the tip with his tongue. With his other hand, he caressed the blond's balls, trying to learn what pleased him best.

With all his weight, Naruto leaned against the wall. He needed support, for his knees were getting wobbly thanks to the arousing treatment he was receiving. He wasn't sure if he totally believed in Kankuro's alleged inexperience anymore, for the way he handled him couldn't be a coincidence. As he was given another strong suck, he moaned, and all the pleasure was beginning to gather into the tip of his dick…

"I-I'm coming s-soon," Naruto gasped, thinking it would be fair to warn. He wasn't sure if Kankuro was into swallowing or not, and it would be rude in his opinion to just burst without warning.

However, the brunette did nothing, just continued the rhythm, and then sped up a little. Naruto moaned again, the muscles in his stomach and legs tightening, his tension building just before release. He hoped his leg wouldn't cramp like it sometimes did, that would not be cool. The cramp didn't come, however, and his pleasure kept on intensifying and growing until―

"F-Fuck, I'm―" Naruto gasped, clenching his eyes shut as he came over the edge. "H-haa…"

As soon as his brain returned to function, he realized Kankuro was still ever so gently caressing his dick with his mouth, letting his aftermath continue as long as it was pleasurable. When he slowly stopped, Naruto let out a weak gasp, feeling both satisfied and exhausted. It was amazing how Kankuro's kohl hadn't smudged around his eyes much. Maybe he bought the water-resistant kind and not the cheap stuff? In any case, the man's stare was sending pleasant shivers down his spine.

"Was I any good?" Kankuro asked with a smirk on his face.

Naruto wanted to playfully punch him or laugh, but he was too weak for that. It had felt so, so good. "Let's just say you can do that again any time you want."

Kankuro smiled for an answer, and then kissed the boy on the neck. He had just swallowed Naruto's seed and wasn't sure if the blond wanted to kiss that kind of mouth. He had never swallowed, and he wasn't sure what to think of the experience. It wasn't repulsive, and the frenetic moans that had echoed in the bathroom around that time were a nice reward for the deed.

-o-o-o-

They were lying on the bed, under the soft covers, once again shower clean. Naruto had wanted him to enjoy, too, and so he had been given a blowjob he wouldn't forget anytime soon. He knew the boy was more or less competitive, and he had gotten the slightest of feeling that this thing had now been turned into a low-key competition between them. He didn't mind, though, the game was on for all he cared.

It looked like Naruto was already snoring a bit. He was wearing his walrus nightcap, and according to him it was the only thing of importance to him along with the lopsided pinecone award. The boy had been relieved that the nightcap had survived the annihilation, but had been devastated to hear what had happened to the pinecone.

To have another person warm his bed at the long hours of night felt comforting. He had missed Naruto indeed. The idea of the boy wanting to move in here was exhilarating. On the other hand, he felt nervous about moving to the next level with him. Surely the idea of having an actual intercourse would be brought up sooner or later. He wanted it too, yet he was cautious how it would happen in practice.

A big part of him was relieved that tonight, neither of them had expected anything like that to happen. He wasn't sure if Naruto preferred to be on the bottom or on top. Deep down Kankuro hoped that he wasn't expected to take anything inside his ass―not yet at least. He really wished the boy would let him top him, for that way it would be easier for him to get used to gay sex.

He had bought lube and condoms, but was it enough? If Naruto would be the bottom, surely he would have to be prepared for it in some way, too. He doubted they could just 'do it' out of the blue. It was different with a guy, he realized, and in a way anal sex felt quite unnatural. Was that really how nature had meant things to be? It sure felt like the answer was no. Then again, if that kind of connection wasn't pleasurable, why did so many people claim to enjoy it?

In the long hours of night, Kankuro finally let go of the questions swirling in his mind. Naruto snored every now and then, and the open eyes of the walrus nightcap were guarding him throughout the night. Only when the morning's sun peeked through the curtains he awakened from his deep rest.

"Kankuro?" he called, still sleepy, as his hands couldn't find anyone next to him.

He opened his eyes and looked around. It was quiet and peaceful. The silent sunlight waking up all of the small rooms made this place feel homey. Even with the brunette nowhere to be seen, it felt like his spirit was present.

It was then he noticed a small packet on Kankuro's pillow. On top of it was a little letter.

'Good morning. Went to buy some food. Fridge was almost empty. Make yourself some coffee or tea. I'll be back before 12.

- K.'

The only downside living in the wilderness was that shops and bus stops and other marks of society were far away. It hadn't really occurred to Naruto until now. In the future, he would have to wake up ridiculously early if he wanted be at school in time. Groaning at the thought, he put the little note aside and looked at the box.

Given how soft the cardboard had gotten, the box had to be old. It looked like something that had been stashed long ago in case it would be needed later in the future, or never. To him, Kankuro didn't strike as a hoarder, but then again he hadn't really looked into his closets.

With excitement, he opened up the box.

And his heart filled with immediate joy.

A perfectly shaped, plump conifer cone greeted him from the bottom of the small box. He took it out and smiled. All its scales were still tightly shut. Where on earth had the brunette found this one? Usually at this time of the year it was really difficult to get these, for the squirrels would've already found each and every intact pinecone and opened their scales. The pinecone smelled of fresh winter air and resin, a smell that reminded him of Kankuro from now on.

With the pinecone in his hand, he went to the kitchen and made himself a big cup of green tea.

-o-o-o-

It was already dark. The last reddish rays of the dying sun colored the horizon with their dulling hues.

With hesitation, Kankuro rang the doorbell. He had been worried, and the decision to come here had not been made easily. But if he wanted things to change, he would have to take the first step.

After some moments he was getting sure that no one would open the door. He had feared this, but then again, it was expected. Again, he rang the doorbell, glancing at the windows to see any movement inside.

He was about to leave and come back some other time, when the door suddenly clicked and opened. His brother's gaunt face stared at him, and he almost took a step back. With confidence, however, he greeted him. "Hi."

The redhead said nothing but turned to walk back inside, and Kankuro followed him, closing the door behind them. In the hallway, he stopped.

"I know I'm like the last person you want to see right now, but I wanted to see how you're doing."

"The second last," Gaara corrected.

"Yeah, well, then you must be thrilled that it was me at your door, and not…" Kankuro began, trailing off.

His brother gave him no answer but turned to walk into the living room. He followed cautiously, and stopped at the doorway. The redhead slouched on the sofa, staring straight ahead with an empty look in his eyes. His hair was messy and it looked like he had not showered for a few days.

Then it occurred to Kankuro that the walls were oddly empty. All the numerous photos of Gaara's special people were taken off. The slightly lighter areas on the walls still marked the places where the frames had previously hung. In the corner of the living room, a few photos were placed on the wall. It looked like a shrine, and Kankuro did not need to look at the pictures closer to know whom they were about.

His brother had never changed his decorations for anybody before. With a sad expression, he noticed that the glass of the frames was broken, and the shards were still scattered on the floor, gathering dust.

Slowly, he sat down on the sofa next to his brother. This was new to him, and never before had he tried to soothe his little brother this way. Earlier, he had always waited for the storms to calm down on their own, never meddling, never putting himself on the line. Now though, he was here, carrying out this experimental idea of his.

"You look like shit," Kankuro said and smiled a bit, it was a sad little smile, and his intention was to lighten up the mood.

When the redhead gave no answer, but remained in his static state, he bravely put an arm around him, pulling him closer. And to his surprise, he let him do this. He looked at his brother's face, and moved a strand of red hair behind his ear. Those black rings around his eyes had only grown darker.

"I'll make you something to eat, and then I'll clean up," Kankuro told, squeezing his brother with his arm. The sideways glare he received was an answer enough for him.

"And you," he continued, smiling sadly at the unresponsive redhead, "You are going to the shower."

"Get out," Gaara said quietly, without defiance.

"Nah," Kankuro replied, ruffling the red hair. "Not this time, bro. Today, I'm here for you."

"I don't want you here," Gaara said none too kindly, but made no move to shoo the brunette away.

"I know," the big brother replied. "But nevertheless, I'm going to stay and make you feel better."

He patted his brother on the shoulder confidently before getting up. He went to the kitchen, and calmly started with the take-out boxes scattered around, and without judgment he collected the empty bottles from the tabletops. This place was a mess, and it was partly his fault.

He heard that in the background, a shower was running, and slightly smiling by himself he started to make some food. The cupboards and the fridge were quite empty, and he frowned, wondering if he should've come here sooner. From the scraps he managed to make tea and hot sandwiches. It was not much, but he thought it would be more than what his brother had eaten the whole day so far.

"Here," he offered the plate to his brother, who was now sitting at the table, with damp hair and in clean clothes. Ever so slightly, the redhead began to eat, but the far-away look didn't vanish from his eyes.

Kankuro sat down, too, and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, for everything," he started, but the little brother did not lift his gaze to him. "I'm sorry for how things escalated recently, and I'm sorry for the past, too. For not defending you back at home, when father…" he trailed off.

The green eyes were looking at him, and the mouth that had just eaten a sandwich had stopped chewing. With a gulp, Gaara lowered his gaze again and resumed to eat.

Kankuro smiled slightly, and looked out of the window.

Later in the evening, Gaara was lying on the sofa, staring into distance. Kankuro was vacuuming, and ever so slightly he cleaned the glass shards from under the photo frames. The redhead seemed to pay no attention to that. As he looked at the photos, his heart wrenched. The blond and the redhead looked so happy in them. His brother deserved happiness, yet it seemed that his love life followed an unfortunate pattern. With an inaudible sigh, he thought he should take the photos down to ease his brother's mood.

"Don't touch them."

"Sorry," Kankuro replied, glancing at the impassive redhead. How did he know what he had been about to do, when he wasn't even looking at his direction? Quickly, he resumed to vacuuming and let his brother brood on the sofa.

When everything was done, the place looked a bit less depressing. Judging by the number of take-away boxes, his brother had neglected himself and the house for at least a week.

"I think you can go now," Gaara said quietly, still on the sofa, looking at the ceiling.

"Oh, no I won't," Kankuro said lightly, and stopped in the middle of the living room. He looked at his brother patiently.

"I will be staying the night with you."

"The hell you are." The defiance was finally back.

"I will, and that's it," Kankuro closed the conversation. He went to the darkened bedroom and almost stumbled in there. He flipped on the lights, and under his breath he cursed at the empty bottles and heaps of clothing lying on the floor. Patiently, he tidied up the room and changed the bedclothes. He had been here enough times to know where everything was. And in his current state, his brother was not up to take care of these kinds of normal things.

This was easier, he thought, showing his care through actions than words. Maybe Gaara was the same too, given how hard it often was to him to open up about his feelings. But maybe they both would change for the better, eventually, if they only let themselves do that. Just maybe they could break the cycle that had defined their relationship until now.

The rest of the evening they spent in the living room. TV was on, and Kankuro was sitting on the floor, leaning on the sofa, not wanting to bother the redhead who seemed to enjoy lying in there. Maybe the mindless TV shows would lighten up the mood, or take his brother's thoughts out of the depressing depths they surely lingered in. Every now and then, Kankuro turned to look at his brother, smiling, like the redhead would somehow share the joke on the TV show with him.

Around midnight, Kankuro turned off the TV and patted his brother on the shoulder.

"Time to go to bed," he said.

"I don't want to," the little brother whispered, and sadness filled his unmoving eyes.

"I know," Kankuro consoled with a gentle look. "But don't worry, there's fresh linen in there and you don't have to be alone."

Green eyes turned to him, narrowing and questioning.

"I'll be staying next to you the whole night," Kankuro said.

"No." The tone of voice was stern.

"Yes. Now let's go," Kankuro scooted, not backing up.

"I am not sharing a bed with you," Gaara snapped reluctantly.

"Come on," the brunette said calmly, leading his brother to the bedroom. He should've done this much earlier. But maybe it wasn't too late now, was it?

Reluctantly, Gaara lay down on the bed. When Kankuro came next to him, he didn't say anything but only gave him a half-angry look. The redhead looked tired and weak. In the darkness, he looked a bit older than he actually was, and Kankuro frowned. His brother had been through a lot in his life, more than what was acceptable.

However, he masked his worry behind a little smile and ruffled the red hair. He pulled his little brother into a hug, and placed his head under his chin. He felt Gaara tense up, so he smoothed his back through the covers. They had been like this in their early childhood, long, long time ago. Back then, Gaara had been afraid of dark and Kankuro had comforted him, telling him that no monsters were lurking under the bed.

But after that, puberty had come and they had discovered the real monster inhabiting their home. They had grown apart, and even today, it pained Kankuro to no end. He squeezed his brother, ignoring the fact that the contact felt weird and he cursed himself if he was now blushing.

He was no longer able to protect Gaara from their father, for the man was long ago dead, but he would try his best to save his brother from the monsters that now lived inside his mind. He believed that with help, his brother would get the life he deserved.

Gaara leaned against his brother's chest, finding the hug oddly comforting. This unexpected care reminded him of their early childhood, and now he wished the special bond they had had back then, would've never been broken. But maybe it was better they had this moment now rather than never.

He hated to admit it, but it was nice to have his big brother here caring for him. He had felt really awful for the past few weeks.

"I can see why people like you," Gaara whispered in the darkness. He looked up and there was a questioning look on his brother's face. "You are nice."

"I'm only nice if I want to be," Kankuro said, caressing his back. "And for a long time, I haven't been so nice to you."

"Well," Gaara began, "I haven't been an easy case myself, either."

Kankuro smoothed down the red hair, and spoke. "We'll be alright, I promise."

The redhead closed his eyes and let the warmth embrace him. He felt so comfortable and safe now, and he had no need to keep up his defenses. He let his brother stroke his hair and his back, and right now everything felt a little more bearable. Not long ago he had wanted to die, or at least he had wanted his feelings to die, but now he thought that maybe everything would turn out okay, eventually.

Naruto had been different from all the others. He had truly loved him, maybe even too much, and then his affection had turned into hate in one blinding moment. He hadn't been himself back then. After he had calmed down―it had taken a few days―he had realized that he had no energy to keep up hatred. He had tried to, for it had made the situation more bearable, but eventually love and affection had conquered.

And when it had happened, his heart had broken again. In his darkest moments, he had vowed to never love anyone but himself ever again. If true love hurt this much, if true love made him willing to end his own life, then what good did it do? Nothing, he had thought. From now on, his heart would be stone, he had decided.

Now though, when he was comfortably in his big brother's arms, he felt the tiniest bit of hope in the horizon. He had lost a boyfriend, but maybe in return he would finally gain a caring brother? This was a safe connection he had longed for years, and all his life he had tried to find something similar from the arms of numerous people.

Even though he hadn't still forgiven his brother for working his magic behind his back, he wouldn't be able to stay mad at Naruto for much longer. Naruto was an honest and caring person and he was beginning to understand that maybe the blond had tried to somehow soften the blow that was about to come at him. It was clear that the blond didn't have it in him to be deceitful or hurtful on purpose. If the oncoming conflict had pained the blond as much as the aftermath had now pained him, then maybe they were finally even.

Kankuro was smoothing down his hair and it reminded him of all the times he had done so years and years ago. Only now though, he was the only monster around. His big brother had not yet addressed the fact that he had smashed Naruto's apartment. Surely he must've heard of it by now. And surely there would be some consequences, wanted he or not. At least he should apologize to the blond, but not enough time had yet passed for that to happen.

"I'm sorry," Kankuro suddenly spoke in a whispery voice. He wasn't sure if his brother was already asleep.

"You already told me that," Gaara replied, eyes closed. He didn't want to move. It was comfy.

"No, there's one thing I need to say," Kankuro said, gently stroking his little brother's hair. "I attacked you. It wasn't a right thing to do. I thought you'd hurt Naruto, and in my anger I jumped into conclusions that turned out to be incorrect. If I hadn't lost my temper but tried to talk to you instead, maybe things would've gone differently."

"It wasn't totally your fault," Gaara whispered. The past days were a big blur in his mind and his memories weren't very sharp. "If I remember correctly I gave you an impression that something severe had happened to Naruto. It was my mistake, or choice, whatever you want to call it. What you did was only a natural reaction for someone whose friend was in danger." He was not going to say boyfriend or anything along those lines. The wounds were too fresh for that.

"I see," the brunette replied. "But still, I don't think I did the right thing. I promise it won't happen again."

Gaara didn't reply. Sometimes his brother's strong sense of morals and justice annoyed him to no end, for his ideals could easily be misjudged as know-it-all-ness. He knew there was sense in Kankuro's point of view, but he wasn't yet ready to take it all in. His life so far had followed different kind of rules than the ones Kankuro had, and those rules of his own had helped him survive all the incidents he had endured, incidents which Kankuro had no clue of.

But as his big brother now slowly caressed his back, he felt at ease. And in this precise, calm moment, he didn't find it totally impossible to someday share his brother's view of the world.

-o-o-o-

Naruto felt like shit.

He should've known better. God he was stupid at times.

Kankuro had briefed him how Gaara had been like, and with his mind eye Naruto had pictured the redhead's gaunt figure and the hollow jade eyes with darker than ever rims. He had caused that to another person. And that person had loved him, made sacrifices for him, and had tried to make his life better.

And what had he done in return?

Naruto shuddered, he was repulsed by himself. Why had he believed when Gaara had hissed at him of never wanting to see him again? Why hadn't he gone to see how the redhead was doing after a few days?

A tiny part of his mind tried to remind him that the guy had actually trashed his apartment to the point of total renovation. He still remembered the holes in the walls where Gaara's combat boots had left their last declaration of betrayed affection. And just as easily he could recall his smashed down bed, and his kitchenware scattered down on the floor, broken among the splinters and scraps. Somehow dents had appeared on his kitchenette cabinets and the chests of his drawer were all pulled out and broken down. It had taken him a long time to get all the splinters and dust out of his clothes as he had collected them later on from the clutter.

For a long time he had been angry at him for destroying his home.

Had he really been selfish when he had stayed away from that kind of person? For the next few nights after that, he had been too scared to even sleep. Even though Gaara hadn't hurt him physically, he couldn't help but wonder if the dent in the wall could've easily been a dent in him.

His instincts had told him to stay away, and his anger and fear had instructed him to not contact him. What if he had been wrong? Maybe he should've done something, after all?

Of course, Kankuro had seen his inner debate just by the look on his face. The brunette had told him that none of this was his fault. He hadn't believed him, even though he had nodded back then, giving an impression he had understood.

It had been a month ago. His guilt and anguish hadn't lessened over the time, even though in Kankuro's presence he had tried to be his best positive self.

A cold gust of winter wind blew right at him. He shivered as he sat on a bench at Blackwater harbor. It was perhaps the stupidest idea to come here in the first place. Most likely he was only poking a beehive. He had texted Gaara that he would be here, at this time, but no reply ever came. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe not.

A scrunch of snow suddenly alerted him. He turned around to see Gaara standing a few meters away. The look in the jade eyes chilled him to the core. The earlier wintry gust was like a summery whiff compared to that.

Naruto gulped, tightening his hold on the armrest of the bench. "Hi." His voice sounded way too feeble to his own liking.

Gaara didn't reply but walked slowly to him. To his surprise, the redhead sat down. He didn't look at him, though, but straight ahead. The sight reminded Naruto of a living statue.

"So… How are you doing?" Naruto asked, hating the silence. To say he was anxious would be an understatement but he tried to mask it under a seemingly carefree appearance.

"Fine," came the answer, and the blond almost jumped. He hadn't expected any reply. Gaara's voice almost rivaled the coldness of the air―there was no warmth whatsoever.

"T-That's good," Naruto said, hating his stuttering. He didn't let his fake, feeble smile falter. "I'm okay, too." He wasn't. He was happy and sad at the same time. Future and past were constantly present in his life, and the confusion these unresolved things caused in him made him moody and anxious.

"So you live with him now," Gaara said, but it was a question. Still he didn't meet his eyes. Wind blew again and ruffled the red hair away from his face. The light skin looked even paler now.

"Y-Yeah, I do," Naruto admitted. He had moved into the forest two weeks ago.

"You never wanted to live with me." And now the chilly jade eyes were finally looking at him, unblinking.

"I know," Naruto said weakly, for the words almost vanished before he spoke them. He shivered, and he wondered again if this had been a good idea. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

The answer surprised Naruto. With wide eyes, he stared at Gaara.

"I'm sorry, too," the redhead said and turned his attention away. The rusty ships in the harbor were captive in the frozen lake. Come spring and summer, they would be free again. "I made some mistakes I'm not proud of."

"Really? I mean… I have no hard feelings for you," Naruto said hastily. He had fear in him, and anxiety, but he didn't want to have them forever. By now he had forgiven Gaara, but not himself.

"I did a shitty thing to you. It haunts me," the blond confessed, as he, too, gazed at the forgotten ships. Now that he thought back, he should've never gotten involved with the redhead romantically when his heart had been elsewhere the whole time. When he directed his attention back to the redhead, he was surprised to see him staring at him.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes things don't turn out the way you expected," Gaara explained. "And maybe through this all I finally got my brother back." Now his voice had a lighter tone.

Naruto nodded in understanding. Over the last month, Kankuro had spent quite much time with the redhead. He could tell that the renewed brotherhood had affected the brunette, too. The frown that always came to his face when he thought no one was looking was slowly vanishing, replaced by more carefree expression. As far as he knew, family was important to Kankuro, and his brother's anguish had obviously pained him.

"I guess things will work out in a way or another, eventually," Gaara spoke again. Earlier, he had felt like those rusty, frozen ships. But now, spring was definitely coming, and he had a distant feeling that not after long, he too would be free of the restrains that had so far defined his persona and patterns of thought. He looked at the blond again, but now his eyes held a softer look. "You seem to make my brother happy. He hasn't been like that for a long time. In a way, I'm thankful for that even though I wish things had gone differently."

"Me too," Naruto said quietly. His anxiety was slowly subsiding. He had feared the redhead would hate him. Even worse, he had feared that his actions had damaged the man beyond repair, but now his worry seemed exaggerated. "You mean a great deal to him. I never had a sibling, so I can only imagine what it's like. I hope you and I can remain in friendly terms in the future."

Gaara looked away, not sure how to respond. He wasn't sure how much he could promise, but for Kankuro's sake it would be easier if they were in good terms with each other. His break-ups had always been final. Anyone who'd ever broken his heart would not end up on his friend list afterwards. But Naruto was not like any others. He was special, and it was no wonder Kankuro had noticed it, too. Hell, he hadn't imagined his straight big brother would ever be into guys, but now the brunette was actually living with this blond boy. Naruto was truly a strange person.

"I guess we can stay in friendly terms," Gaara finally said, his eyes on the lake. The idea of Naruto was still painful, for they could never be. But for his brother's sake he could do it. And his pain would hopefully subside over time, and in the future this all would be just a dark little period of history.

"But I have to warn you," Gaara continued, giving a chilling look to the blond. "If you ever hurt him…"

Naruto gulped, feeling suddenly small. He could never imagine breaking Kankuro's heart. And he had never imagined doing that to Gaara, either. In a way, he was glad that Gaara was concerned about his brother's well-being. On the other hand, he felt a tiny bit of annoyance that the redhead seemed to think he would hurt the brunette.

Before Naruto could reply, Gaara spoke. "I've talked with him a lot during the past weeks. And I've come to realize there have been some unfortunate patterns defining my demeanor. One of them being paranoid and suspicious, leading me to appear quite clingy even without realizing it myself."

"O-Oh," Naruto said, looking down at his lap. He was glad that the redhead had made progress and he wondered how he should address it in order to not make him feel worse about his past behavior. "Surely you've had your reasons to be that way."

"Of course," Gaara said. "But those reasons are in the past now, and that's why their results shouldn't be present in me anymore, either. It is time to let go."

"Sure," Naruto smiled, feeling relieved for some reason.

They looked at the ships in silence for awhile.

"Well, I better get going," Naruto said after a while, getting up. His feet were stiff from sitting on the cold bench. "Thanks for coming here."

"Take care," Gaara replied as the blond smiled at him one last time.

-o-o-o-

It was Saturday. There was something peaceful in these lazy weekends that had become a solid part of their lives by now.

Naruto had wanted to stay in bed the whole morning, but Kankuro's alarm had gone off at 8. Even with his best cooing abilities he hadn't been able to keep the brunette next to him. No, Kankuro was all about his ideas of building two extra rooms to the house. They needed more space, he had said. And so the brunette had rushed to shopping supplies and tools and such. Kankuro was all caught up in planning already, pondering what kind of wallpapers to choose and how to take Feng Shui into account too, even though excavation could only begin in late spring at earliest. And now the snow hadn't even melted. The last time he checked the snow banks under the windows almost reached the sills.

Kankuro had promised not to spend the whole day at the centre, and Naruto hoped the man would keep his promise. He had tried to give subtle hints to him about his desires, and how he would like to fulfill their relationship, but so far nothing had happened. He really hoped today would be the day. He had even eaten lightly for the last few days, and in the morning he had given himself an enema. Thankfully he had been alone at home around that time. He didn't want to scare Kankuro, for he had a feeling the man was somehow uneasy about as natural a thing as gay sex.

After two hours, Naruto heard someone stomping on the porch. Soon after Kankuro walked in, his hair snowy and cheeks red. He seemed so excited as he straight away began babbling about the tapestries he'd seen, and without even giving Naruto a chance to reply, he changed the subject to the unique tiles he'd noticed (which were on discount, too). It seemed he was already re-tiling the bathroom with his mind's eye.

Naruto let him calm down, listening but not trying to take part in that one-man conversation. In a way, the bubbly enthusiasm amused him. But he couldn't drive away the thought that maybe all these plans of extra room and renovation were Kankuro's way of distracting himself from something. What did they need the extra room for? Did the brunette want to get further away from him?

And now the man was sitting at the kitchen table, various floorplans and blueprints scattered in front of him. A yellow pencil was stuck behind his ear and he scratched his head deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" Naruto asked, standing behind his back, trying to peek over his shoulder at the papers.

"Hmm… I'm just wondering about the windows. The frames a green, but I don't know if they go that well with the red door. Do you think we should re-paint the frames?" Kankuro asked, giving a glance at the blond.

"Why not change the color of the door?" Naruto asked, gently removing the pencil from behind the brunette's ear.

"No, the door has to be red. Haven't I told you it's an essential part of Feng Shui?" Kankuro said, wondering if the boy ever really listened what he was trying to say when it came to these things.

"How come you know so much about renovation and construction?" Naruto asked, rubbing the brunette's shoulders. They were so tense.

"Well, my father was an entrepreneur in the field of construction. When I was still at school, I used to work on building sites every summer," Kankuro shrugged, getting back to the papers.

"I didn't know that," Naruto whispered to his ear, and his hands glided down to his biceps. He kissed him on the neck, again and again, and the tenseness suddenly increased. His other hand slid down along the brunette's arm and stopped at the hem of his shirt. As he kissed him on the neck, his hand slipped under his shirt to caress his skin. "Would you like to take a break from the papers?"

"Um… Maybe later?" Kankuro tried, momentarily closing his eyes.

"How about now?" Naruto whispered into his ear.

"Really?" the brunette breathed. This attention was slowly waking up his primal needs, and he wondered if now would be the right time. Certainly the blond seemed to think so.

"I… I haven't really prepared for this," Kankuro whispered, feverishly hoping that he would be on top. Any other option scared him.

"I have," Naruto said, and withdrew his hand from under his shirt. He stepped away, but his hand remained on the brunette's shoulder, inviting him to follow him. "You have lube, right?"

"Yeah. And condoms," Kankuro said weakly, as he followed the blond to the bedroom. None of his earlier girlfriends had liked the idea of him ejaculating inside of them, unprotected. They had been on the pill, so it hadn't solely been a question of birth control. But as he had understood, the idea of sperm dripping into one's pants throughout the next hours wasn't very comfortable. And why should he assume Naruto would have a different stance on the matter? Besides, he didn't welcome the idea of putting his dick into anyone's ass unprotected. It just felt weird, at least for now.

"Do you want this?" Naruto whispered and kissed the brunette on the lips.

"Y-Yeah. I do," Kankuro said, and it was true. He did want this, but once again his lack of experience made him feel insecure. Naruto had visited his thoughts and even dreams with an increasing pace, but he was afraid his own inexperience would be a major turn-off for the boy.

"Then relax. I want you to enjoy," Naruto replied, and started to undress. The brunette followed his lead.

"I know how it's done, so you don't have to worry," the blond added, hoping his words would calm down the brunette. Kankuro seemed to be a very self-reliant kind of person, and clearly he was not comfortable around subjects he had no experience of. Naruto wanted to show him that he didn't expect him to be perfect.

They lay down on the bed, and Naruto enjoyed the way Kankuro's hands were caressing his skin, like they couldn't get enough of him. They kissed, and Naruto could feel the earlier tension of the brunette slowly dissolving. Was this really happening, finally? He was about to fully get the man he had dreamed of for so long. It had been a miracle that Kankuro had felt the same way for him, too. What would've happened if he had never followed him out of that bus? Naruto didn't want to think of the possibility. As Kankuro kissed him on the neck, he closed his eyes and let out a shaky exhale.

"I need to stretch myself first," Naruto whispered, his eyes half-lidded. Kankuro's touch stopped at his hip, and the brunette pecked a light kiss on his collarbone.

From the drawer of the nightstand, Kankuro took out the lube and a small packet of condoms. The blond took the lube rather shyly and poured some of it to his fingers. Naruto felt very self-conscious as the onyx eyes followed his every movement. Not only curiosity, but also arousal was detectable in the brunette's gaze. Very carefully, Naruto pushed the tip of his lubed finger inside his ass. The ring of muscles was tight and his body tried to protest the unexpected intrusion. It always felt weird like this in the beginning.

Gradually he pushed the said finger deeper, letting himself get used to the sensation. He lay on his back, legs spread so that he could reach himself better. The expression on Kankuro's face didn't hide the man's obvious thoughts at all. It felt like the brunette was eating him up with his eyes, and clearly he was pleased with what he was seeing.

When his body got used to the single finger after some time, Naruto added another. Kankuro touched his thigh, gently caressing his skin and letting his desire show in his movements. It was a pleasant surprise when he began to stroke the blond's hardened dick.

"Yes," Naruto gasped, looking at the man with half-closed eyes. Preparing himself felt much more comfortable when he was receiving such attention. The brunette stroked him slowly to keep him aroused but not fast enough to make him close to coming. An occasional touch on the tip always earned a moan from the blond, and this seemed to amuse the brunette. Naruto was sure the man was smirking when he wasn't looking at him.

After his body had gotten used to three and then four fingers after many coats of lube, Naruto thought he would be ready. At first, he had been self-conscious about having sex, too, because he had known the preparation would take a good amount of time. He had no personal experience of dating women, but he had the impression that hetero sex didn't require this much preparations.

Naruto kissed Kankuro on the lips, and got up from the bed. To his confused look he only said. "I'll be right back."

He went to bathroom to wash his hands. He hadn't dared to wipe them to the sheets. Besides, he wasn't sure if the brunette appreciated him touching him with these fingers. It was better to play it safe, at least this first time, and he hoped his sudden departure hadn't spoiled the mood.

When he was back on the bed, he was immediately pulled into a kiss. It felt like all the yearning that had emerged during his half-a-minute departure was poured into that kiss. It amused him, but also made his dick harden with anticipation.

"I want to ride you," Naruto said, gently pushing the brunette to lie on his back. In that position it would be easier for him to get adjusted into having something as big as another man's dick inside his ass. He noticed then that Kankuro had utilized his earlier moment of solitude and had already put on the condom. Naruto understood the need for protection. Not everyone wanted to use it, but he was secretly thankful that the brunette had thought about it.

As he positioned himself above Kankuro's lubed erection, the man rested his hands on his hips―not in order to guide him but from the sheer need to touch him. Naruto placed the tip on his stretched orifice, and slowly began to push down. It didn't feel comfortable at first, and it would take him for a while until it would, but from the way Kankuro's grip tightened on his hips, he knew the man was already enjoying.

"God, Naruto," Kankuro gasped, looking at the blond on top of him. He had hard time believing this was actually happening to him, to them, and he didn't know what to think of the idea that this was the single most arousing thing he had ever seen.

Naruto was going slow, and it occurred to him that maybe the boy hadn't done this as many times as he had imagined. He quickly wiped away the thought, and concentrated on the sight before him. The blond's cheeks were blushing faintly, and in his blue eyes was a clouded look. His own penis was gradually vanishing into Naruto, who pushed himself down and then slowly up, obviously trying to get comfortable with the sensation.

It felt wonderful when the blond's tight ass squeezed his hard cock. He hoped the blond would feel the same kind of stunning pleasure as he did. Eagerly, with lube in his hand, he started to stroke Naruto's erection, concentrating on the tip every now and then. Naruto was now moving up and down in a faster pace than before, and judging by the look on his face he was finally enjoying.

Kankuro adored the sight, thankful that their roles were these. He couldn't imagine what it felt like to take something as large as a penis inside one's ass, but Naruto was braver than him. The look in the blond's face told him that it had to be feeling pretty damn good.

Now used to the sensation of Kankuro's dick in his ass, Naruto quickened his rhythm. He tried to align himself so that his prostate would receive all the attention it deserved. When he succeeded, het let out an unrestrained moan, closing his eyes momentarily. Kankuro responded to his sudden pleasure by tightening his hold on his hip and rubbing his thumb over the sensitive tip. Naruto moaned again, and the familiar pleasure was once again gathering in the tip of his cock.

"Haa…" Naruto breathed shakily. This was a dream come true, and judging by the look on the brunette's face, he was having his fair share of this heavenly pleasure, too. He kept on moaning as Kankuro's dick rubbed against his sensitive bundle of nerves on its way in and out. Each time the brunette's fingers teased the tip of his cock, he gasped and cried out his name. Not only because of the physical stimulation, but because of seeing his loved-one clearly relishing under him, Naruto was aroused the way he had never yet been before.

Equally aroused, Kankuro tried his best to make the blond enjoy. He wanted him to come, in which way he wasn't sure, and he didn't know how much longer he could last himself. Naruto was moving with such a divine pace that it would be only a matter of minutes―hopefully not seconds―until he would go over the edge. He had tried to prolong the inevitable but as he gazed at the godly blond on top of him, he knew his end would be near.

The tightness around his dick was so sweet, and the way Naruto kept on pushing himself down on his cock was overwhelmingly arousing. It really looked like the blond wanted him inside of him, and the sweet, shaky gasps Naruto breathed with each movement were almost undoing him then and there.

Sweat was glistening on the blond's chest and the way his breaths turned more erratic, more uncontrolled, excited him to no end. He was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and the sheer idea felt weird to him. He had always been into women, and now here he was, about to come inside another guy and probably face the most powerful release he had had in a long time.

"Naruto… I'm about to―" Kankuro breathed, closing his eyes momentarily. He couldn't prolong it any longer, and when the moment came, he cried out his name, and his moans became more incoherent, and for a moment all he could comprehend was the blissful sensation that blinded him behind his closed lids.

Naruto looked at the gasping brunette, and the sight was almost painfully stimulating to him. The usually calm and a bit restrained Kankuro was now lying under him, face blushed and eyes unfocused, trying to catch his breath. His own erection was still screaming for attention, and even in the aftermath of his release, Kankuro had not stopped stroking him. Naruto pulled the softening penis out of him and moved away. He was about to lie next to him when Kankuro sat up, kissing him with newfound passion.

"Kankuro―" he breathed as the man kissed down his neck, then his chest and finally took his still erect cock into his mouth. The surprise of the situation and the sudden passion were a turn-on to him, and he gripped the sheets in anticipation. When he felt two fingers inside of him, he looked down, but when the brunette found his prostate he arched his back and threw his head against the mattress in pleasure.

He didn't need much stimulation in order to come and in his mind he recalled the moment when Kankuro had gone over the edge. There was something unexplainably exciting in seeing him wavering in his pleasure, under him, unable to do anything but to come. And he had done it to him.

"Haa―Kankuro!" Naruto suddenly screamed as the pleasure took over him and he came.

His grip on the sheet slowly loosened as the intensity of his release gradually subsided. He opened his eyes, and the look in the onyx eyes made him lose his breath.

Kankuro looked at the spent blond, trying to sort out his emotions. He loved him, and it was not just because of his still-raging hormones. He genuinely cared for him, and making him enjoy, making him moan like that, was thrilling. Even now it was hard for him to grasp the reality that he had indeed just slept with a guy. For so long, he had deemed himself as totally straight that even now he didn't think he was gay in the profound sense of the term. He only felt like this for Naruto.

"Let's go the shower," Kankuro said, holding the used condom in his hand. As much as he would've liked to stay next to him on the bed, he knew it was better to get cleaned up.

And with a satisfied breath, Naruto sat up and kissed him.

-o-o-o-

The restaurant was cozy and their table was near the window in a rather quiet area.

They were celebrating Naruto's 18th birthday. A month and a year ago had begun an unexpected chain of events which had ended up changing their lives and which had finally led them to this precise moment.

"So, wanna kiss in public?" Naruto teased Kankuro. They were sitting side by side on their booth. The brunette rolled his eyes, for the blond knew what he thought of that.

"I'm an adult now, so it's okay," the blond continued with a whispery voice. They had kept their relationship undercover, much thanks to Kankuro's continued paranoia of what people thought of them. Naruto understood, but he couldn't help but playfully tease him every now and then.

Kankuro looked at the blond. He knew what he meant, even though the blond always masked it under playful banter. Naruto was looking into distance, seemingly deep in thought. Kankuro had noticed the way the boy sometimes stared at couples showing their affection publicly. The longing in the blue eyes was unmistakable, but as soon as Naruto caught him staring at him, the emotion vanished and he only grinned at him joyfully.

"If you want it, then let's do it," Kankuro said.

"What?" Naruto couldn't believe his ears.

Before he could get over his shock, the brunette had already cupped his cheeks and was kissing him affectionately.

"Welcome out of the closet, finally," Gaara said as he returned to their table and sat across from the couple.

Kankuro felt like replying something snappy but decided against it. In a way, his brother had a point. But not everyone was equally comfortable or open with their sexuality as the redhead seemed to be. Kankuro was a private person and he didn't want to be rushed to open up.

Gaara stifled a smile as he looked at his flustered brother and the beaming blond. In his own way, he felt happy for the two of them. Clearly the blond had gotten the brunette out of his shell, and it really looked like Kankuro had gotten back his long lost enthusiasm on life.

He took a sip of his drink, which was a non-alcoholic mix of two sodas. He wasn't seeing anyone at the moment. Instead, he had taken his time to be with himself and ponder what kind of people he wanted to have in his life from now on. When he now looked back at the past year, getting his brother back was clearly the best event in it.

Getting to know Naruto was on the second place―or rather, remaining in friendly terms with him, that is. For some time already he had deemed their earlier romantic relationship as something that couldn't have had a proper future, for more reasons than one. But now was not the time to dwell in the past, for he was content with the present moment.

"Kankuro, can I ask you something?" It was Naruto, who had a pensive look on his face.

"Yeah?" the brunette asked, casually sipping his drink.

"Where did you find such an intact pinecone back in last winter?" the blond asked. He had wondered it back then, but he had kept on forgetting to bring it up.

"It was a gift from the squirrels," Kankuro shrugged, like it was something completely usual.

"Excuse me?" Naruto asked, raising his eyebrows in wonder.

"You know, the ones I keep on feeding every winter. They brought me that cone as a thank you," Kankuro explained calmly.

Naruto exchanged looks with Gaara, who only shrugged. The redhead was familiar with the topic, for before Naruto had come into the picture, that family of squirrels had been a constant theme in their conversations. Back then, he had even been a bit worried for his brother's sake, wondering if he spent too much time away from the civilization. The fact that Naruto hadn't heard of those amazing forest creatures (as Kankuro had put it) was a good thing, for it meant that the brunette had finally gotten something else to fill his thoughts with.

Naruto let out a laugh and looked out of the window. He was an adult now, and from now on, he wouldn't have any legal ties to the orphanage. Even though he considered them as his family, he felt excited about being a plenipotentiary member of society. However, he would never forget Konohamaru and the other kids, and he had long ago promised to visit them as often as he could.

Under the table, Kankuro took hold of his hand. Naruto smiled at him, and squeezed his hand in return.

-o-o-o-

THE END

-o-o-o-

A/N: If you made it this far, congratulations and thank you for reading! And thank you for all the lovely reviews, I always love to hear your thoughts.

Even if everything else in this story is fictional, the squirrels are real! One winter, my mom fed this family of squirrels who appreciated her help so much that one day, one of them brought an unopened pinecone to her doorstep. "Thanks for the food, here's food for you too" or something like that. :D

By the way, how old you imagined Kankuro to be? His exact age was never really mentioned in the story. I imagined him to be 10 or 10+ years older than Naruto or something like that.

The sex scene between Kankuro and Naruto is the most realistic-like I've ever written. I hope I did okay. And I hope I did alright with portraying the feelings of the characters as they went through the drama and happiness that were in this final chapter.

Anyway, thanks for reading.