xD so much muse for this story! Well, I won't babble, just read!

THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. OVER 3000 WORDS. I AM SO PUMPED! IT TOOK FOREVER, BUT IT'S FINISHED!

Disclaimer: Yup. I'm totally JKR. That's why Sirius ended up in Azkaban. Pfft.

Pale hands reached for him. He tried to crawl away from the water... He was so tired... Some part of his mind insisted that death would be preferable to the torment. The screaming in his head. "You can't control me! I'm leaving!" "Good riddance!" And his own rushing thoughts, a chorus of, "Oh please no." "Why did you leave me alone?" and, "Sirius I need you..." That last bounced around, ricocheted off his skull. He kept trying so hard to get away from the water... How ironic. All that water, and he was dying of thirst. Another sip couldn't hurt, could it? He crawled forward instead of back, and the hands got him-

He woke with a terrified cry, and then immediately lapsed into a coughing fit. He wondered dimly where Sirius was- hadn't he been here? No, it was probably another fever dream; it wouldn't be the first time his delirious mind had called up images of his brother. It was only logical, after all, when he missed him so much. His thoughts were interrupted when he realized that the coughing wasn't stopping. Huh. That's not good at all. He closed his eyes to hopefully dim the pain and pressure building up in his skull, and he pressed his hand to his chest.

Unexpectedly, he heard the squeak of an opening door, and then a soft curse. There was now a firm pressure on his back, and a light touch to the hand over his chest. "C'mon, Reggie, calm down." His heart leapt at the sound of that voice, that name- his brother was the only one who ever called him 'Reggie'. The firm pressure on his back started moving, rubbing in circles. He started to get his breath back.

With oxygen came no relief. He looked at his brother, eyes sad. "I thought I'd been dreaming." He confided weakly. He leaned against his brother with a world-weary sigh.

He heard Sirius suck in a breath, and then felt himself being pulled closer. "I'm sorry..." His brother murmured, "I thought you'd still be asleep when I got back. You've been out for a while."

"S'okay." He murmurs exhaustedly. And then he drew back slightly, tilting his head. "Would it be obnoxious to ask where you were?" He asked softly.

A soft chuckle. "No, I just went down the street for a minute." At Regulus's questioning look, he elaborates. "Well, St. Mungo's honestly isn't safe, and..." He sighs and brushes his little brother's hair back.

Regulus frowned, and then blinked as the facts came together. "Thanks." He mumbled with a little smile, astonished that, for once, someone was bothering to take care of him.

A breeze blew through the flat, making Regulus shudder painfully. "Oh, damn." Sirius mutters, getting up to close the door. Regulus starts coughing again, and the older of the brothers flinches, kneeling by his side again. "Shhh, it'll be alright. I'm here." He grabbed a paper bag sitting on the floor, and took a few bottles out of it. He started measuring out the contents, discreetly crossing his fingers that this would help. You're scaring me half to death, Reggie...He thinks, cringing as he has to wipe tears of pain from his brother's thin face. "Don't cry, it's okay." He murmurs.

His brother, clinging to him and shaking, didn't appear to agree. Sirius grimaced from the heat. "Alright, we need to get you cooled off. I think your fever's risen." He murmurs into his baby brother's hair.

Regulus whimpers. "No... I'm cold."

Sirius's heart shatters at the absolute helplessness almost radiating, as the heat is. He tries to say something, but fails and ends up just pressing his lips to the top of his brother's head. Another shudder racks the small body in his arms, and he gets his voice back. "C'mon," He says gently, handing his brother the first round of medication. "Here, that should bring the fever down, and maybe help with the pain." He whispers.

Regulus blinks dazedly at the white capsules in his hand. "Water?" He asks quietly, eyes silently pleading. Sirius winces -he had half-hoped he wouldn't have to leave his brother's side again- and gets up to get a glass of water. He finds himself getting more and more concerned as the pills seem to nearly knock Regulus out immediately. He hands him a small plastic cup of cough syrup, and then relaxes slightly as his drowsy brother leans against him.

Big mistake. Very shortly, Regulus whimpers and places a hand over his mouth, and Sirius is forced to grab the wastebasket, heart sinking as he realizes that the medication can't have kicked in. "Sorry... I'm sorry." He murmurs, eyes filling with frustrated tears.

Regulus gives him a weak, shaky smile. "N-Not your fault." He breathes, shivering. He vomits again, giving a strangled sob. "Sirius... Siri... It's getting worse. I can't... Can't..." The hoarse gasp of 'Siri' makes the older brother struggle to compose himself, and he cradles the shaking, feverish body.

"Reggie, you need to tell me what happened, or I can't help." Sirius says, in what he means to be a stern voice. It comes out in more of a coaxing murmur, but that's beside the point.

A whimper answers him, and he grimaces again. "I can't... Talk about it... Not now..." Regulus breathes near-silently.

Sirius grabs his brother's chin gently and tilts it up so he can look him in the eye. "You need to tell me so I can help you."

Regulus hides his face in his brother's shirt. "I can't... I'm scared. Too scared. I-" He was cut off by another round of exhausted coughs. By the time it's over, he's struggling to keep his eyes open. "Siri?" He whispers childishly.

Sirius rests his own head on his brother's. "Yeah?" He murmurs gently.

"Can I go to sleep?" The words are exhausted and desperate.

Sirius tries to hold back a sob, but a few tears escape. "Reggie, you need to talk to me. I hate seeing you like this. Please." Regulus gives no answer, instead just hiding his face deeper in Sirius's shirt, his breathing erratic and pained. Sirius frowns and grabs his brother's chin again, trying his best to be firm enough to make a point, while retaining some gentleness, so he doesn't hurt his sick, exhausted little brother. He tilts Regulus's face up so they're eye-to-eye. "Regulus, you need to tell me. You aren't doing well, and I'm just trying to take care of you." He says, actually managing the stern tone this time.

Regulus whimpers softly and tries to wrench his chin out of Sirius's grasp, only to stop with a pitiful little mewling sound as the pain in his head redoubles. "...Do I have too?" He asks, defeated. Sirius nods, rubbing his back gently. He sighs. "I was being really stupid..." He murmurs. A tired, self-depreciating smile touched his lips. "Bravery's not exactly my thing... I should've known to stick with what I'm good at..." He coughs again, eyes fluttering shut as he tries to catch his breath.

"Hey, stay with me." Sirius coaxes gently, shaking his shoulder slightly.

Regulus nods, pausing a moment before he continues in a thready voice. "I-I won't go into details... Ju- Oh!" He sat up slightly, looking as though he's just realized something. "Wrote a letter... Figured..." He stopped, shaking his head. "Well, it doesn't matter..." He slid his wand out of the pocket of his jeans. "Accio letter!" He whispers, flicking his wand sharply.

Sirius frowns. "You knewthis would happen." He states quietly.

A frown and a shudder answer him. "Not precisely... I didn't think I'd survive." The younger brother's voice is stained with pain and sorrow. Sirius stares at him in shock- no, horror.

Another shudder and a violent coughing spell break him out of his stupor. "Go to sleep, Reggie." He whispers, squashing his fear in favor of concern for his baby brother's -already failing- health. Regulus relaxes, shutting his eyes and going completely limp in Sirius's arms. The older man lets himself calm down and regard the sleeping young man in his arms for a minute or so.

Suddenly, with a loud fluttering sound, an envelope flies at Sirius's head. He grabs it, reading the back, which simply says his name. He recognizes Regulus's angular handwriting immediately.

Dear Sirius,

Well. Guess I'm dead then. Very anticlimactic way to go, you probably didn't even know until now. Oh well, what's done is done. I just... Need someone to know what I died for, you know? Eh, you're probably just snickering now, wondering what tall tale I've whipped up.

Trust me, I wouldn't be telling you this, of all people, if I had a choice. But, you know, anybody else I care about would have the entire family -yes, including you- killed if they read this. Ha. Nice friends I have, right?

Anyway... I suppose I should just lay it all on the table, so to speak. I died because I changed my mind. I saw the right of it. Merlin, I'm so sorry I didn't see it before... I thought I was doing the right thing, Sirius. I was never rebellious, like you. I was firmly stuck in mother's mentality, and not a day has gone by in the last few weeks where I haven't regretted that.

Oh well. Too late to fix everything now. Here's the facts- I'm about to go up against the sickest torture the Dark Lord can think of. I don't know how, exactly... Kreacher can't tell me all of it. Something about dead people in the water... Potions... Blood... Worst memories... Damn, I'm getting all emotional, and over a stupid letter that you probably won't even read.

Sirius I wish I could come to you for help. But I haven't been able to do that since we were children, and this isn't a nightmare that you can talk me down from... I wish it was...

Oh well, time to strike against this evil bastard. See you in the next life, I hope.

-Your brother, (It's been too long since I've acknowledged that...) Regulus.

Sirius put the letter down on the floor, staring at it in shock. His eyes moved to his brother's face, flushed with fever and creased with pain even in sleep. He could picture this being written, almost see his brother, normally so calm, with shaking hands, worrying at his lower lip as he contemplated the terror ahead of him. "Damn, Reggie..." He whispers.

Suddenly, Regulus clenches his fists in Sirius's shirt, and the older man's earlier horror returns as he watches his brother suddenly twist and writhe, convulsing frighteningly. "Damn it!" He half-shouts. He grabs the the thermometer and sticks it gently in his brother's mouth, holding the weakly thrashing young man still and silently cursing each fraction of a degree the mercury in the thermometer rises. When it finally stops, it's at just over forty-one degrees. He stares at it in shock, and then frantically searches his brain for a solution.

Finally, he figures it out. "Oh, you're not gonna like this, Reggie." He mumbles, stroking his thumb over the flushed, overheated cheek. He picks his brother up in his arms, not taking it as a good sign when there's no reaction to his touch. He carries the younger man into the bathroom, propping him up against the wall as he gets the water running, carefully keeping it cool, but not overly cold. As he stops it, he reluctantly turns back to his brother.

Quickly, he strips off his brother's shirt and pants, still feeling the blistering heat. He picks the younger man up again, and hesitantly places him in the cool water.

Regulus's eyes pop open, and he cries out hoarsely, gripping at his brother with burning hands. "No! No! Help!" He gasps.

Sirius hushes him as well as he can. "Please, Reggie, I am helping. Your fever's too high. Please..." He knows, logically, that Regulus isn't processing his words, but he has to try, because it's his baby brothersitting here in so much pain. "Just let me make it better." He whispers gently, scooping some water from the tub with one hand and pouring it over his brother's head.

Frighteningly, the water turns to steam as it touches Regulus's flushed skin. Regulus cries out again, and tries to twist out of Sirius's arms. And then, his eyes fix on a seemingly random spot across the room. He gasps in fright and tries to shy away from it. "N-N-No... I d-didn't try it... Didn't..." He moans.

Sirius scoops water up with his hand again. "Shh, it's not real, Reggie." He whispers, tears dripping from his eyes. He keeps it up, scooping and pouring, watching the intense flush creep from his baby brother's snowy white skin.

Finally, the cries stop, and Regulus shivers slightly, looking up at his brother with glassy eyes, which he can barely keep open. "Siri... M'c'ld... Pl's?" He mumbles exhaustedly. Sirius just hugs him tightly in response. The thermometer is placed in the younger man's mouth again, and Sirius breathes a sigh of relief.

"Thirty-eight degrees." He whispers. He kisses the top of his brother's head gently. "Not good, but better." He observes softly.

Regulus looks heartbreakingly confused. "What happened?" He croaks.

Sirius cards a hand through his brother's hair. "You had a high fever, Reggie, if it had gotten any worse..." He stops, shaking his head and blinking back tears.

"M'cold..." Regulus breathes, shivering faintly again. As Sirius nods and starts to get to his feet, however, he cries out in fear and shock.

Sirius immediately drops back to the floor, frowning. "Easy, I'm just going to get a blanket. You need to keep warm if we don't want that fever coming back." He pushes Regulus's hair away from his forehead.

When he walks back in the room, he almost breaks down, seeing his brother's forlorn, lost expression. Regulus blinks up at him, still shivering and pale. Sirius reaches out and gingerly tugs his brother to his feet, supporting him carefully and then wrapping the blanket around him.

Regulus's breath hitches almost unnoticeably, and he almost falls face first into the water. "Easy..." Sirius soothes, lifting his exhausted brother into his arms and cradling him. Regulus blinks at him again, limp in his arms and still with that lost expression. Sirius nudges his brother's head up onto his shoulder, and then walks back into the main part of the flat.

Sighing quietly, Sirius places the small form of his brother on the sofa. Regulus clings to him frantically, mumbling something barely audible. Bending his head a bit, Sirius hears the breathy whisper. "Don't leave me alone... Don't let them get me..."

The older brother shakes his head, pulling the younger into a comforting hug. "It's okay. They can't get you." He whispers. "You just rest." Regulus nods, and drops off without a sound.

Some time later, both brothers were awakened by a loud crack!- though Sirius truthfully didn't remember going to sleep. He snapped his head up, looking around before finally settling his eyes on the slim redheaded form standing about seven feet away. "Oh, hullo Lily." He says with a yawn. "Don't suppose you could've just sent an owl?"

Lily's face is frightening. "Oh, that's funny, because I was just thinking that you should've sent a damn owl telling us you weren't going to show up today!"

"I was busy." Sirius states, eyes flickering to his brother, who's barely awake.

Regulus frowns. "Sorry..." He croaks.

Lily's face softens at his weak voice. "Oh, it's not your fault I'm sure. Sirius probably forgot anyway."

Sirius snorts. "I didn't forget." He remarks. "Now, give me a moment, and we can go out in the hallway and have a screaming match. But first," He turns to his little brother, sighing. "Now. Are you feeling any better?" He asks quietly.

"Mhm." Regulus murmurs, snuggling into the blankets. "Far be it for me to keep you from your screaming match." He whispers cheekily.

Sirius snorts and gets up. "Git." He mutters, ruffling the younger man's hair before walking out into the hall with Lily.

She crosses her arms and looks at him sternly. "So. You were so busy you couldn't even send an owl?" She asks tightly.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Lily, I was that busy. That was the first time I've slept in... Hell, two or three days. That entire time, I was up and moving." He leaned against the wall, taking a shaky breath.

"I thought you two hadn't even talked since Hogwarts... And when he fell in with the Death Eaters..." Her brows furrows as she tries to keep up.

Sirius gulps, shaking his head. "What was I supposed to do? He was dying." Another shaky breath. "He'd be dead by now if I hadn't been taking care of him."

The redhead's green eyes glimmer with sympathy. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asks.

Sirius shakes his head again. "No. I'll... Talk to you later. I just... I need to make sure he's okay, you know?" She nods, and disappears with a crack!as he goes back into the flat.

As soon as he walks in, he realizes that he shouldn't have left his brother alone. Regulus is gasping and sputtering over the wastebasket, again, with one arm wrapped around his slim middle, and the other trying to brace himself so he doesn't fall off the sofa. "Can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?" Sirius asks, sighing and walking over quickly.

As he sits down, he notes soft tremors running through his brother's small frame. His brow furrows in concern. "Sorry." He hears the pained gasp.

"Hush." He murmurs, rubbing his brother's back. The vomiting stops, and he shifts so he's supporting the small body of his brother. "Easy. It's alright." He soothes. They sit in silence for a moment, broken only by the wheeze of Regulus's congested breathing. "Alright," Sirius begins reluctantly, remembering his brother's frantic attempts to not reveal this information. "I need some real answers." He feels his brother squirm a little, agitated, and he determinedly looks him in the eye, seeing fear reflected in the silver eyes that are so similar to his own. "What, exactly, happened to you?"

Forgive me if it seemed off, or rushed, or if you needed tissues. This was just where the plot bunny lead me. Stupid little buggers always seem to be angst bombs once they reach me...