Animal

NC-17

Warnings: Fugaku/Naruto, one sided SasuNaru, rape, violence, major angst.

A/N: My first attempt at a dark fic. Call it a challenge of sorts. Unbeta'd so please pardon all the grammatical/spelling errors.

Second person format, present tense, sentence repetition which I felt justified.

Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto.

Fugaku drops the bomb on a bright Tuesday morning. You remember the day because Naruto has promised to accompany you to the library after school and you just can't wait to check out the stock of new books that have arrived.

The mood is perfect. Mikoto happily offers you the rolled up eggs she knows you like so much while Itachi types away on his laptop like a maniac adding some last minute stipulations to the presentation he has been working on since the past two weeks. You know the details about that one too because it is the sole reason why you two haven't spent much time together. You're just buttering some toast when Fugaku clears his throat to call the family to order.

You almost smile when everyone including you turns to look at Fugaku to listen to what he has to say. You note with a great deal of amusement that Itachi has to give up his typing to look at his father and he has that look in his eyes that asks Fugaku to 'quickly get this over with'. You understand Itachi's impatience perfectly. That man has a presentation in – you consult your watch - less than three hours.

"I have something I need to tell you," Fugaku says and for some reason you get the feeling that whatever it is that Fugaku is going to say is going to change something. It's like a wave of premonition has just washed you away from your safe harbor. You wriggle in your seat, a nervous habit you couldn't really shake off since childhood and avoid all sorts of eye contacts especially one which comes from the impatient man who wishes to go back to his typing.

"I…" Fugaku begins and you're suddenly very nervous. It's like you don't want to hear the rest. You are suddenly possessed by the urge to stand up and leave and you almost apply pressure to your feet and haul yourself up when Itachi's eyes bid you to stay.

It's probably something important, Itachi's eyes tell you, you should stay. And you do it. You push yourself back down on the chair and wait to hear the rest.

Fugaku tries again this time, a tad more forcefully. "I'm…gay,"he finally forces the words out and that's when your world falls apart. Your mind is trying to process and reject the words at the same time and you can only stare at him and then at Mikoto waiting for her to react. However, you can't quite bring yourself to look at Itachi to judge his reaction for some unfathomable reason.

Fugaku looks guilty and Mikoto looks too composed to be normal. She takes a bite of her baby shrimp and you vaguely wonder if she had already known all this time. The silence on the table is deafening and it pierces your innards making you want to hurl your teacup against the wall just to make some noise. Finally you force yourself to look at Itachi and with some irritation watch as he goes back to his laptop, his expression the same abyss of neutrality. At least he is no longer typing; the thought makes you think that your father's confession may have affected him a little.

"How long…" Mikoto asks, so quietly that had it not been silent at the time you wouldn't have heard it. Fugaku looks up from his plate to stare at Mikoto like he couldn't believe she would have the audacity to ask such a question. After a moment it seems he has come to the realization that an answer is being anticipated by all the occupants of the table.

"Three years,"he says and Mikoto drops her chopsticks. You watch with some kind of morbid fixation as the wooden sticks clatter on the plate and then roll off to fall on the floor. You make the mistake of glancing at Itachi and witnessing the cold silent fury so evident in his eyes that they almost shine red with it.

There are tears on Mikoto's face you notice and you want to go and comfort her yet you stay in your seat, knowing your mother will not accept sympathy from anyone. Her pride as an Uchiha is too much for her to succumb to weakness and compassion from people.

"Who,"she asks, the question spoken loud and clear with no hint of tears in her voice and you feel a pang of pride at her courage.

If Fugaku had looked any less guilty earlier, the expression on his face makes up for all of it this time. He shoots you a furtive glance you don't miss and then he begins studying the floral pattern of the table mat. You can hear his panicked heart beat and with some astonishment realize it matches yours. Why, you ask yourself, why is your heart racing?

Dread fills the pit of your stomach and somewhere in your heart you know this is the exact reason you wanted to walk out of the room when Fugaku had first cleared his throat. You're still battling with the emotions inside your chest when Fugaku answers.

Naruto.

It can't be! One second you're sitting there waiting, the next second you're up and shaking Fugaku so hard in your quest to know the truth that you almost topple him off his chair. There are hands on your upper arms and you're being hauled off your father and tossed back into your chair. "Calm down," Itachi's voice sounds close to your ear and his hands are still firm on your arms. You turn to glare at him as if venting your fury at him. He stares back at you with understanding eyes. Eyes which say he understands your inner turmoil, eyes which mirror your own horror.

Suddenly it all makes sense. The signs had always been there you just hadn't bothered to take those hints and figure it all out. Naruto insisting on joining the Uchiha Corporations for his internship rather than his own father's firm, his constant need to talk to Fugaku about business, Fugaku taking great interest in Naruto asking him questions about his family, education, hobbies and what not. You took all of those as signs of being friendly and never could you have imagined that this went way beyond friendship.

Suddenly you want to laugh at your own folly. You remember the time when you thought it was you Naruto wanted, that you were the reason Naruto wanted to work with Uchiha Corporations so that you two could be together, forever.

Oh how silly you seem! The biggest fool there ever was! The laughter bubbles inside you hysterical and bitter like bile. Before you know it its spilling past your lips and a moment later you clutch your stomach to hold the spasms of pain and laughter inside. You want to point at yourself and show how pathetic you really were in all of this. How pathetic you seem now when you look into your father's guilty eyes and see the sorrow and pain in your mother's.

Itachi's clutch on your arms tightens and then he lets go only to grab you tight around the midriff and lay his head on your shoulder. It takes you a complete minute from all those hysterics to understand that Itachi is giving you a hug – a means of comfort and the fury comes coiling back like a tight rope in your stomach.

Betrayal, so strong, so intense that it makes you nauseous. With all the might you can muster you push Itachi off and stand up. Every nerve in your body is singing with fire and there is so much of adrenaline pumping into your veins that it's making you dizzy. The haze that covers your eyes makes your mind go numb and the only thing you can think of is how much you want to take Naruto and rip him apart piece by piece, bit by bit that not an inch of him remains.

Before you know it you're standing in front of his house and ringing the doorbell incessantly. He opens the door while your hand is still at the doorbell and looks at you with quizzical eyes. What, he asks and the only thing going on in your head is the urge to gouge those sapphire blue eyes off your once best friend, the boy you had come to once love more than anyone else in your life.

Those eyes you see now are not the precious stones of innocence but shards of ice holding deceit and lies so many of them that they shine with it.

"Why,"you ask your voice hoarse with the effort of holding back screams which are echoing in your head. His shirt is hanging open and you think he must be in the process of getting ready for school. You grab him by the collar and shake him, hard. Hard enough to move his neck to and fro. You notice it then, in the red hot haze of your anger how tanned and long that neck is standing so tall and beautiful. The sudden want to bite it takes you by surprise and once your teeth have made their marks on that piece of skin do you realize your actions.

His hands are pushing you away and you can't help but think that of course your hands are not what he desires but your father's and that fact alone makes you ache for him all the more hard. Once he has put some distance between you two he looks at you guiltily and you know he knows why you're here with fire in your eyes.

You move forward suddenly driven by the need to possess him, to own him. No one matters, not Fugaku, not Mikoto not even Itachi as you bite your lips and make your need known by hooking a foot behind Naruto's and tripping him; a trick you'd learnt in karate. Once on him you press down hard, hard enough to make him know you want him.

There is an animal inside you that you'd always kept on a tight leash never allowing it to raise its head or let it out. 'The ice prince' your friends called you and you just smiled tightly - an expression to match their words. Right now, at this very moment for the first time in your life you let out that monster within you allow it to raise his head and snap at its leash just so that you can give into it and let go.

The need is strong, the urge almost overwhelming as it bubbles inside you like acid. Through the thick veil of pain and sadness you watch like a scared child as your hands wrench open Naruto's school shirt. There is a feverish chant inside your mind, a resolution more firm than iron itself telling you to break Naruto. It shouldn't be too difficult your mind tells you since he has already sold himself to your father.

Disgust so strong and bitter rises in your throat and you watch with a frenzied gaze as you slap Naruto's hands away when they try to push you off. The simple knowledge that it is Fugaku's hands Naruto would want on him and not yours adds fuel to the already incensed fire inside your head and you hurry up with the process.

You always wanted him but never this way. You always sought after him and wished he would look at you as more than friends. He saw you, he saw through you, chose you as his best friend made you his secret keeper only to stab you at the back and keep such a filthy secret from you. The truth hurts like shards of ice and makes it easier for your shaking fingers to tear open Naruto's boxers and yours simultaneously.

Naruto is begging you to stop it. He keeps screaming and writhing away from you but you have him immobile by means of a well placed knee – another helpful karate trick – while you strip down your own shorts. Naruto you breathe his name in anger, in sadness, in pain, in lust with so much of awe to it that for a moment it renders Naruto frozen with pleading eyes looking at you trying to make you understand, trying to snap you out of it. Your heart contracts when they look so deep into yours that you can almost see your reflection in them.

"I can explain,"Naruto begins and that's when you decide you don't want to know. You stuff Naruto's shirt into his mouth and turn him on his stomach. You use your own shirt for tying Naruto's hands and watch with sadistic pleasure as Naruto tries to scrabble and move away from you. He tries violence and almost hits you with his leg. In retaliation, you bang his head against the polished wooden floor pleased when he makes a pained sound in the back of his throat.

The beast inside you snarls softly then, telling you that it's ready and you watch as your body takes its position behind Naruto. You'd think penetration would be easy since your father must have used Naruto plenty of times in the past but the moment you push yourself inside Naruto the real battle begins. Not only is Naruto as tight as a virgin but the moment you forced yourself inside him he begins struggling with a renewed force you didn't know he was capable of.

It's difficult to stay inside him and try to keep him stationary at the same time. He's struggling like an insect caught in a spider's web clawing and failing to find its way out. "Why,"you demand your voice a hoarse whisper of sadness, of anger or betrayal.

Naruto doesn't react to it, too caught up in his struggle. "Why,"you ask again your hands grabbing fistful of his hair that you loved so much. "Was I not enough?"You ask in hysterics as you thrust deeply into him trying to vent out your anger through your body.

This time, Naruto stops struggling to turn back to look at you with surprised eyes. Those expressive blue eyes of his are filled with tears and your heart wrenches with the pain you see in them.

This halts you mid-thrusts and you stare for a moment shocked that he didn't see all this time and you're afraid to continue. But then the anger renews itself and you turn his head back to the front. The frenzy is back with a fresh force and you push his legs farther away to enter deeper making him moan in pain again.

Naruto has to be bluffing, you tell yourself over and over again with every movement of your hips and you move deeper into him, harder. He is making a pained sound every time you push into him and you're sure that if it wasn't for the stuffed shirt in his mouth he would be screaming.

You are close, your thrusts get erratic and your hands dip deeper into Naruto's hips and pull him close as you hit your peak. Under you Naruto has suddenly gone stiff as a board and even though you collapse on top of him, he doesn't move a muscle.

You wanted him but never this way. You glance down in disgust and untie Naruto's hands which automatically pull out his shirt from his mouth. A small part of you considers this revenge. Revenge, yes that's what this is – revenge for breaking your family, revenge for all the hurt caused you, revenge for being like this, revenge for choosing Fugaku and not you. It's ironic, you think, none of this anger is for Fugaku. It's almost like you conceded to the fact that Fugaku would slip one day that Fugaku would have done something like this. But never in your wildest dreams had you thought that Naruto would be his partner in crime.

The hurt is so raw that doing something as unforgivable as rape is not enough to make up for it. You watch as Naruto crawls away from you and sits in a corner and the knowledge that you still want to break and shatter him shakes you up from within. The sudden urge to get away grows strong and you rise from the floor uncertainly to leave.

Just as you're about to button up your shirt you see Naruto moving towards you with slow uncertain steps, his eyes cast low. His hands twist awkwardly as he twines and untwines them and then he raises his eyes to yours. Suddenly you wish you hasn't come here and done this to him. This low degrading act of trying to own something that is not yours intensifies the guilt and you urge your fingers to button up your shirt faster.

Just when Naruto is a foot away from you, he stops. You just want to get away, you don't want to hear what he is about to say. Those blue eyes have said enough. He opens his mouth and subconsciously you cover your ears to block out his voice. He removes your hands from your ears and then grabs you by the collar of your half-buttoned shirt. You watch his mouth twist and form words and he voices them out. You hear his voice that rough husky concoction you had come to love so much.

"I didn't know."

What, you want to ask him as you push his hands away and continue fumbling with your shirt. "What didn't you know?" You finally bite out amongst all the hatred and self-loathing.

"I didn't know you liked me."

You slap him so hard that he falls to the floor. Didn't he know you loved him? Didn't he see you only had eyes for him? Didn't he realize you only thought about him? Didn't he say it once that he was your one and only person? Didn't he promise you he would always be with you?

Naruto is crying now his eyes a vast blue ocean of guilt leaking rivers of regret and you think Naruto looks pathetic and you want to tell him just that but the willpower to say anything like that is above you so you stay quiet. Naruto tries to say something between pitiful sobs which wrack his entire frame, but the words have now become incoherent. For the first time since you came to his house, you feel something which isn't anger. The feeling that courses through your veins is far from it now.

"Come to me," you say your voice a needy whisper. You need him, you've always needed him. When you haven't stayed without him these past eighteen years, then how, you ask yourself, are you going to live without him now?

Naruto stops crying to look at you with disbelief painted on his face. "What?"He musters after a moment.

"If you come to me now Naruto, I'll forgive you,"you say as you bend down to help him up.

"I can't,"he whispers shaking off your hands and trying to stand up on his own. He has a bloody nose and you try to wipe it off with the sleeve of your shirt but he moves you away doing the job himself with his own bare hands.

"Why?"You grab his shoulders and shake him roughly trying to understand why he's talking like this.

"Because,"he looks up and the tears are all gone, "I love him."

It can't be. It just can't be.

You want to leave. You want to run. You want to do just about anything to get away from those eyes, from the sincerity you see in them. He cannot like Fugaku; you think and shake your head negatively.

"Love!"You spit the word at him and then laugh at the absurdity of the notion. "You love Fugaku?"

Naruto places his hands on your shoulders. "I'm sorry,"he says.

I'm sorry. After eighteen years of being together which include three of stabbing you in the back he has the audacity to say he's sorry and leave things at that?

Your mind is a whirlwind of conflicts. Wearily you let him go and straighten yourself up. Your hands itch to hit, your head hurts with all the knowledge and your heart feels like it might explode any moment. You have to do something before the emotions whirring inside you escalate to madness. The Uchiha blood inside you boils with the want of revenge and a plot takes shape in your head.

Naruto is looking at you worriedly and asking you is everything is alright, if he can be forgiven, if you both can start again as friends.

"Get away,"you tell him venom dripping in every word. You avoid looking him in the eye not willing to show him the pain in yours.

He lets you go. He just leaves the shirt he was grabbing so tightly not a minute ago and takes a step back. It's that easy for him, the simple fact leaves you so dumbfounded that you force your feet to move and walk to the door.

By the time you open the door and step out into the bright sunlight you know that you have lost this battle that this battle was never yours to win. The knowledge itself prickles like a thorn and the tears you had promised you wouldn't shed slowly make their way out.

Uchiha's don't cry, you chant the mantra inside your head but to no avail. Thirteen steps down the road, a hand stops you. Startled, you look up hope flaring in your chest like the sunflower exposed to the sun. Naruto has come! Naruto has come to say he's sorry and he wants you to take him back, you think. You turn around and Itachi is standing there apology written all over his face.

"I'm sorry things turned out this way for you,"Itachi whispers drawing you close to his chest.

You succumb to his embrace. Itachi has always been there for you, as a family your only ally.

Later you will think about the comfort, the relief you felt when you turned around and saw him and not Naruto holding your hand. Later you might also wish he is there to help you pick up the pieces of your life when the time is right.

The chilly wind which blows against the sakura trees in the Saturday evening makes you rub your palms together to ward off the cold. You watch nonchalantly as Mikoto adds some last minute touches to the dinner that she has cooked while Itachi lays the table.

Itachi turns around to grab a bowl of rice from the counter and you observe with some amusement that his ponytail is a little askew. Just as you're about to open your mouth and voice the teasing remark which is sitting at the tip of your tongue, Mikoto grabs the television remote after apparently having finished her work in the kitchen to turn on the news.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watch her as she glances at the hall clock anticipating Fugaku's return - a habit she has yet to outgrow - catches herself and composes her features in the fraction of a second before looking back to see if either you or Itachi noticed her actions. Immediately, out of instinct you avert your eyes from her profile and look at the television with unseeing eyes. You think about Mikoto and wonder how many evenings has she spent like this pretending to be the caring wife, the doting mother. With some sort of sadness, it strikes you that she and you share the same place, that both of you were jilted by people you once loved. True there was only one person in Mikoto's story but that doesn't lessen the pain for her. In fact, the bond she shared with Fugaku was deeper and more meaningful than the bonds you had with him or Naruto.

Naruto.

The name stirs up a frenzy inside you that's way past bearing. Looking at Mikoto's composed features now you marvel at the courage she must possess to be able to act to calm and collectively. Even now, when she turns to smile at you, you want to shake her and ask her how she can pretend nothing happened and go on living naturally. You want to ask her why she hasn't reported this - this treacheryat the weekly Uchiha clan meeting when it is killing her inside all along. Is being the head of the clan that big a deal that defamation cannot be handled?

The hurt is still so raw for you that the thought of keeping a poker face feels like some sort of a forgotten dream. Itachi has already commented on it several times now asking you to cheer up, trying to annoy you by playfully flicking you on the forehead that you hate so much or throwing his wet towels on your bed after his showers just so that you can just get on with it and vent it all out. Though they have all been fruitless attempts you're still grateful for your brother's understanding and support.

These past few days have all gone in knitting the scenes piece-by-piece, just trying to fill in the blanks and wondering about the what-ifs. How many times have you tried to clear the cobwebs in your mind and gone back to answering those 'what went wrong' questions? Heck, in your weak moments you've even picked up your phone and speed-dialed 1 just to hear that rough husky voice, just to beg him to come back, that he's forgiven and everything is forgotten, that the thought of spending another day in this misery kills you; but the confidence to open your mouth and speak is still far above you and so you've hung up before the bell rang and cursed yourself for being so weak.

And then when you finally got tired of all the thinking you planned and planned and built the entire strategy in your mind. Taking certain matters to your hand had become mandatory. It was the perfect strategy, really. You bless the day you had decided to save money for university. Getting the job done by someone else is better than soiling your hands. It's easy, Gaara's connections, your money and the work is all done.

Sitting on the brown bean bag that Naruto had helped you pick, you turn your attention to the television set where the news about an anonymous dead man is playing. The news reader - Mitarashi Anko - an attractive woman is giving details about how a man was found mugged and killed in the shopping district of the town. Your heart speeds up as an image of the scene pops up on the screen.

Any moment now...

They had promised you they wouldn't touch the face. Just three stabs at the back - signifying the treason done to three people. You were very particular with your request.

You watch with horrified glee as your mother's stoic face crumbles into wailing sobs, the disbelief on Itachi's face and finally the horror painted on Fugaku's face as he lies lifeless on the cold stone in the shopping district. The picture does not do him justice is your verdict considering the police is in the process of zipping his body.

Any moment now...

The sound made by the door crashing on its hinges completely blocks out Mikoto's and Itachi's pitiful sobs and there at the door stands the reason you went this far so as to sacrifice your own blood. Your eyes rove greedily on that lanky figure and unconsciously you move towards him. In the background, Mikoto and Itachi watch you two with stupefied faces neither moving a muscle.

Beautiful...so beautiful, is the only thought that courses through your mind as you take in the tear streaked face and those sad, sad blue eyes.

Wordlessly, he moves forward and you spread your arms to embrace him and all his sadness.

"I'm sorry," for your loss, for my loss, he says clutching you tightly your pristine white shirt soaking up all his tears. Was such a petty job the only thing required to hold Naruto like this, forever?

"I'm just so sorry," Naruto whispers brokenly against your shoulder.

"It's okay," you say smiling against his hair. Naruto's tears wash away the clouds, the sadness and everything that has been plaguing your mind since that bright Tuesday morning. Holding him in your arms this moment you know that he is where he belongs.

You're mine Naruto. Now and forever…

Reviews would be lovely.