Be My Friend

"So here's the deal," Amelia said, putting her hands on the glass surface of the table. "I need a friend."

"Oui," Francis said, arms crossed, legs crossed as he sat primly on the cushioned chair. They were in some kind of french pastry shop with large windows. He had a fancy plate of pastries in front. She had a cup of coffee. "But why me? My schedule is full. I hardly have time for my sweet Angleterre anymore."

He sighed dramatically.

"You? I said friend. Not pervert." He didn't appear even the least insulted by that comment. Instead he nodded in agreement as if it was a badge of honor. "But you know people, right? Can't you hook me up?"

"As in a date?" He looked at her suspiciously.

"No, no!" She shook her hands, then rubbed her nape in embarrassment. "I'm kinda already seeing someone."

"If you break his heart," Francis warned.

"That's the last thing I want to do," she replied. "I've just been thinking. Arthur and I've been so busy budgeting, discussing things, working on redoing the paint, getting it up to snuff, and all. We're both getting a little tired of each other."

"I see," Francis said. "You know with my beautiful sense of taste and contacts in interior decoration I could make your cafe glitter like a diamond in Paris ~"

"For the last time, Art said no." Francis deflated. "Anyhow, enough on that. What I said about thinking-"

"Oui, you're trying new things. Be careful not to strain yourself when you experiment."

Amelia's eyes narrowed and she decided to ignore that one. "And I realized one of the big mistakes I made with Ivan was that I clung to him. I alienated everyone, even my own family." It still hurt to think of that burned bridge. "And that was unhealthy. He literally was everything I had. What I need is a friend. Someone who can deal with my personality."

"Well, I haven't been to the zoo lately, but..." Francis trailed off thoughtfully.

"Har, har, har," she said. "C'mon. You must know someone."

"Do I look like Craig's List? Do not answer that." he held up a palm as her mouth opened, "The problem is, mon cheri, is that most of the people I know are rich, pretentious pricks, gay, or both. How do I say this? You're not the type they want in a friend. And don't look sad about that, I mean that as a compliment."

She bit her lip in thought.

"I've wanted to ask. Isn't it a little warm for that?" He pointed at her stars and strips knit cap.

"For what?" He lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "So I'm wearing a knit cap." She blushed. In a defensive voice, she said, "It's a little chilly today."

"If by chilly, you mean eighty-five degrees Faranheit," Francis said. "It's unseasonably warm."

"Wind chill is killer."

Francis smiled knowingly. "Arthur knit that, didn't he?"

She kept her face neutral, but felt her cheeks burn. "Don't know what you mean."

"Ah ~ so that's how it is," Francis said.

"So he did. He said it was just something he made to celebrate our business. Said it was lying around. He said it had nothing to do with relationships. Pure business. Period." Francis snorted with laughter.

"Lying around? It has Amelia knitted on the bottom."

"Anyhow, what's this have to do with anything?" Her voice came off higher pitch than she meant it to. She folded her hands in front of her red T-shirt that had "I'm Lovin' It" printed in yellow on the front. "Can you help or not?"

Something shifted in his expression and he nodded slowly. "Perhaps I can. There may be someone. What are your hobbies?"

"Well, I like hamburgers, cooking barbecue, football," she continued listing them off on her fingers, "actions movies, anything about aliens, video games, anim-"

"Wait, I know that word. I can work with that," he said.

Amelia continued as if Francis had not interrupted. "I also want someone with taste in movies. I prefer Predator over the snooze fests Arthur loves. I mean, The Notebook? What's wrong with that guy? Give me ripped men with big guns. Hell yeah!"

Francis sighed. "I pity Angleterre. But good news for you. I know someone perfect for you. And he's gay, not ripped at all, so Arthur won't get too jealous."

"What does Arthur's jealously have to do with this?"

"Oh, mon cheri, you're such a sweet girl." Francis pulled a fluffy feathered pink from inside his designer blue coat. "I'll arrange everything. But in return you must send my kiss to Arthur's lips."

"How do I do that?"

"Such a sweet girl," Francis sighed, shaking his head as he jotted on a notepad. "And Arthur owes me."

Arthur had his advanced anatomy book out on the plastic-wrapped countertop, surrounded by notes written in neat penmanship. Despite the color-coded flash cards, he had hardly studied. He had just sat on a stool, spinning it back and forth with his feet.

Everything was wrapped in plastic to protect it when they repainted the walls. He kept glancing to the door and then sighing and going back to trying to focus. He wondered if he should have sat up in the living. The apartment had a backdoor, one he'd used to first bring Amelia here.

However, lately she'd taken to coming in through the cafe glass doors. He had given her the spare key She always would spend an hour jotting out notes in penmanship that looked more chicken scrawl. He was the one studying to be a doctor! His writing should be unreadable!

Arthur glanced at his phone. No text from the frog either. No reply about his "date" with Amelia, as he called it just to piss Arthur off. There was no way Amelia would date the frog, but still...

"Bloody frog!" He wanted to strangle his phone.

The jingle of the bell doorway made he sigh in relief and he stood up, saying, "Where have y..." He trailed off at the sight of a violet-eyed man clad in a brown coat and scarf.

Ivan.

That wasn't the surprise. The surprise was Ivan holding a gigantic bouquet of roses in one arm and a gold-folded wrap box of Godiva chocolates in the other. For a moment, Arthur just blinked before his wit kicked in and said, "Sorry, Ivan, the answer is still no. I'm just not into you."

Ivan lips curved in a small smile.

"Arthur, da?" Ivan glanced around the shop, disgust clear in his eyes. "Where is she? Cowering in the back?"

"She went out," Arthur said thickly. "And you also need to get out."

Ivan looked displeased and dropped the roses and chocolate on a nearby table, as if they were trash. "These are for her. See that she gets them."

"Perfect. We'll enjoy burning them," Arthur said.

Ivan smiled wider, eyes narrowing.

"How does it feel pining for a woman who will never love you?" Ivan asked.

"I don't know you tell me?" Arthur retorted.

"You two can play, but at the end of the day she will return to me," Ivan said. "because I will always be bigger in her heart."

"She hates you."

"Hate or love. Same thing," Ivan said. "The point is I am in her heart, unlike you. Who make her cry at night? Not you. Never you. She and I are inseparable. You can't hold a candle to our years together."

"You used her."

"She let me. She begged to be near me. How dare she whine about being used. How stupid she was to not know the risks of devotion," Ivan said.

"She was an innocent."

"You're excusing her role. She allowed herself to be in that position. She brought it on herself."

"By that twisted logic anyone who ever walked down a dark alley in a short skirt and was raped brought it on themselves! Does wearing a fancy watch mean I deserve to be robbed?"

"Don't you?" Ivan said.

"God, how do you sleep at night?"

"Quite well."

"Do you hear yourself?"

"I do. You're the one not listening," Ivan said. "Not seeing things for what they are. You must love fairy tales if you believe that's how this ends. Do you fancy yourself her white knight who saves the broken-hearted princess? Ha!"

"You broke her heart. She'd never take you back."

"She let me break it. She lets it stay broken because she can't give me up." Ivan looked off to the side at that, as if smiling at some memory. "Does it hurt knowing how little she thinks of you because I occupy her mind?"

"Amelia's working it out."

"That girl doesn't work things out," Ivan sneered. "She buries it. Leaves it to fester. Denies the problem. What disgusted me the most about her is that she let me use her like a beast. I could've done worse if had felt like fornicating with a dog."

"GET OUT OF MY SHOP!" Arthur shouted, grabbing his phone, "Or I'll phone the bobbies!"

Ivan snickered. "You are suited for each. Equally pathetic. But you most of all. Take care of her until she runs back to me. You're something to pass the time and get free rent out of until I allow her back. Take proper care of my girl."

Ivan giggled and walked out.

(TBC in... "Hearts On Fire")