I'm not entirely sure how happy I am with this one but I already missed the New Years deadline by I have a far stretch so it will have to do. It's is vaguely proof-read but please forgive any mistakes, it's late and I should be working on real-life work stuff but this took priority.
This one is dedicated to EllowynTinuviel, I had major writers block and then as it turns out all I had to do was read anything she has ever written and suddenly – inspiration! So this is kind of my Xmas/New Years gift to you for being incredibly awesome and for fangirling and tumbrling and and everything else! : )
It was a pretty cliché tradition as far as Rachel was concerned but for some reason people loved to get drunk at New Years and of course the New Directions were no exception. Even though none of them were old enough they still had no problem acquiring the necessary alcohol and as Rachel sipped her first wine cooler of the evening she had to admit that maybe some clichés were actually kind of okay. It was the first year that every member of the choir had been in the same place to celebrate the big event and as Rachel glanced around the room she couldn't help but smile at the beaming faces surrounding her.
"Hey Britts." Puck shouted as he downed the last of his beer, "Where's your girl at?"
The blonde frowned, a sad expression fleeting across her normally happy features as she replied with a simple, "She'll be here."
Rachel knew that everyone else had missed the strange reaction; most of the group of friends were well on their way to drunk and far too focused on their beverages to take much notice but having arrived only a few minutes ago the singer was much more in tune with her surroundings. She thought for a moment about pursuing her worries but a knock at the door stopped her.
"Speak of the devil." Kurt said as he sprung to his feet to answer the door, thoroughly enjoying his role as host. It might have been Finn who suggested the party when he found out their parents would be out of town but it was definitely Kurt who had gone to the effort of planning everything, throwing Rachel a wink as he passed her he added, "Fashionably late as always."
"You know Santana." Puck grinned, "She likes to make an entrance."
Rachel watched as Kurt rolled his and eyes left to get the door, her gaze quickly returned to Brittany who was bouncing expectantly on the balls of her feet as she grabbed a fresh drink from the table and began searching for a bottle opener. She smiled as she watched the blonde flick the lid from the bottle but as she looked closer she could see the worry edging across her friends features.
"You're the last to arrive." Kurt said as he re-entered the room and gestured to the mass of bodies, "Make yourself at home, there's drinks on the table here and snacks in the kitchen."
Rachel felt her heart melt as she saw Brittany perk up, her long legs carrying her over to her girlfriend so she could simultaneously hand the brunette a drink and sweep her into a tight hug. Even from her spot on the other side of the room Rachel could see the two speaking in hushed whispers but before she could over analyse anything a voice cut through her thoughts.
"They're so cute together." Tina said with a smile as she pointed to the couple with her drink, "I can't believe I didn't see it before. Did you know?"
Rachel chuckled, "I had my suspicions."
"So did Mike apparently." Tina revealed with a shrug, her eyes narrowing slightly as she watched the couple with interested, "Do you think…is she okay?"
Rachel frowned as she looked back at Brittany and Santana, far from the cheerleader's normal dramatic entrances the girl was simply hovering by the doorway as she allowed her girlfriend to fuss over her. She was dressed differently too, rather than one of her trademark short dresses she had settled for a pair of beat up old jeans and a large knit jacket thrown over a wife beater. Her hair was loose and Rachel noted with a degree of envy, perfectly messy and casual.
"Rachel?" Tina asked as she waved a hand in front of the diva's face, "You still here?"
"Yes, I was just…"
Tina sighed as she took a quick sip of her drink, "Worried? Yeah, me too."
It wasn't until a few hours later that Rachel finally found an opportunity to talk to Santana. She hadn't even planned it, mostly because she had already failed in her attempts to get the cheerleader alone and had pretty much given up on ever catching her without Brittany glued to her side. She had merely decided that the house was too hot and that she needed some fresh air, she didn't expect Santana to be sat outside on the back porch. From the surprised look on the other girl's face she figured Santana hadn't exactly expected to see her either.
"Berry." The gruff acknowledgement came as Santana stubbed out her cigarette.
"Santana." The singer replied politely, "Is it okay if I sit with you?"
The cheerleader nodded, "Free country."
Rachel smiled as she took a seat next to the other girl, her hand wrapped around her drink she frowned as she realised she had lost count of how many of the wine coolers she had consumed. She watched Santana chug down her own beer as they sat in silence. Rachel had never dealt well with silence and she couldn't help her need to fill it, "Did you have a nice Christmas?"
"No." Santana stated bluntly as she finished her bottle and pulled another one from seemingly nowhere, "Did you?"
Rachel wasn't sure whether she was more shocked at the blunt statement or the unexpectedly returned pleasantry, caught off guard she found herself spluttering, "I'm Jewish."
"Still made Finnocence buy you a present though." Santana grinned as she turned her head to smile at the singer, "I hope you liked the earrings…y'know before you returned them and all."
"How did you know about those?"
Santana rolled her eyes, "You really think the boy who gave you a fucking pig for Christmas actually realised how stupid that was and then magically developed awesome taste in jewellery? That would be a serious Christmas miracle."
Rachel felt her jaw drop as the puzzle pieces fell into place, "You?"
"You're welcome. I practically had to throw myself at the sales guy so that he'd even let Finn look at the stuff in there." Santana chuckled as she remembered the slack-jawed look on the shop assistants face when she had busted out her well-practiced seduction routine.
"You didn't have to do that." Rachel replied with a shy smile as she stared down at her lap.
Sipping on her beer Santana shrugged and slipped her hand into her pocket where she fiddled with the small box residing there, "He helped me sort out some presents too so…"
"Oh." The singer sighed with a frown, her spirits falling a little as she began to think that the other girls selfless deed wasn't exactly as pure as she had initially thought.
Turning her head to look at the smaller girl Santana bit her lip as she pulled the box she had been fiddling with in her pocket out of her jacket and onto her lap. It wasn't the biggest thing in the world but as she stared down at the velvet covered box she couldn't help but smile. She had spent almost as long picking this out as she had choosing Brittany's gift, "I know we all agreed not to buy presents for each other this year and that buying for thirteen or whatever people is kind of stupid, and that it's pretty much only a couple thing, and that- Jesus I'm rambling worse that you." Santana groaned as she thrust the box towards the other girl, "I got you this."
Blinking in surprise Rachel stared down at the gift, "You got me a present?"
"Uh-huh." Santana replied, hoping the nerves she was feeling weren't as evident in her voice as they felt in her stomach.
"I…." Rachel tried, her normal powers of speech failing as she carefully took the box and flicked it open. As her eyes fell on the bracelet inside the singer felt her jaw slacken as she stared in disbelief.
Edging closer to her friend Santana wrung her hands together, her fingers twisting nervously as she explained, "It's a charm bracelet…you can add little things to it for like, birthdays or Hanukah or whatever. I…I got you the first one, it's supposed to be good luck and I figured, they had hundreds but I thought this one was the perfect one…"
"It's star." Rachel whispered as she gently lifted the silver bracelet from its box and held it in the palm of her hand. She felt her breath catch in her throat as the charm caught the light and shone brightly as she stared in awe.
"Do you like it?" Santana asked knowing she didn't sound as casual as she would have hoped.
"I love it." The singer murmured as she tore her eyes away from the gift to look at her friend, "Will you help me put it on?"
Santana smiled as she nodded and reaching out she took the bracelet and slid it around Rachel's delicate wrist. It took her a couple of go's to get the clasp, which of course had nothing to do with her earlier nerves, but once she did she chuckled as the singer pulled back her arm to admire it's new addition.
"I…I…Why?..." Rachel stammered as she finally tore her gaze away from the bracelet and back to her friend.
Santana grinned as she sipped her beer, "Never thought I'd see you lost for words."
"I just…I don't understand." The singer began, her face contorting into a panicked frown as she suddenly thought, "It's too much. I shouldn't, I mean I can't accept it. It must have cost a fortune…"
Santana raised an eyebrow as her eyes flickered to the silver band hanging from a delicate wrist, she had spent hours scanning through the jewellery section and even longer hounding the sales assistant with questions and demands because she had wanted something perfect. When the time came she hadn't really considered the price, "You can accept it and you're going to." Santana said firmly, "I got it for you."
"But why?" Rachel queried as she scooted closer to the other girl, "I mean, I know we're closer this year and I think that…that we're friends now…"
"We are." Santana replied immediately as she sighed and began picking at the label on her bottle, "But that doesn't mean I'm good with all that sappy emotional crap alright?"
"Alright…" Rachel agreed with more than a little confusion.
Santana rolled her eyes as she shifted slightly to turn and look at the other girl, "Okay, fine…if you're going to make me say it, Jesus…you're kind of awesome okay? You helped me and Britts choreograph that stupid cafeteria song and took a serious hit of jelly for me during the food fight it caused; we practised for freaking hours for all those West Side story scenes, you didn't even laugh when I tripped up the stairs in rehearsal that one time; you actually made me not hate that stupid fucking Katy Perry song; you stood up to that jackass from the Rugby team for me; you didn't gloat when we got beaten at Sectionals; you held my hand when…fuck, when I needed to know that someone other than Britts was there for me. And I…I needed you to know that I knew all of that and that I…I'm really glad that I stopped being a tremendous fucking bitch long enough to see that you're actually one of the best friends I've ever had."
Rachel had never had the experience of being speechless so many times in quick succession, so with her words failing her she settled for plan B and launching her small frame forward she wrapped both her arms tightly around the cheerleader as she crushed their bodies together in a happy embrace. Grinning as she felt Santana wrap her own arms around her Rachel whispered, "Thank you."
"If anyone asks you about the bracelet…" Santana began, her voice causing Rachel to frown as she wondered if the cheerleader was about to make her hide their friendship, "…you tell them I know my bling."
Rachel giggled as she pulled back from the hug, "No one would ever doubt it."
"Merry Christmas Rachel." Santana said with a smile as she tossed her now empty beer bottle to one side and cracked open another, "And a Happy Hanukah or whatever."
"Happy New Year too." Rachel added as she finished her own drink and found herself being handed another from the cheerleader's hidden supply.
Santana nodded as she turned to stare out across the garden once more, "Yeah, sorry it's kind of late I brought it ages ago I just…"
"You what?" Rachel asked softly, her brow furrowing as she watched the cheerleader's shoulders sag.
"I had a rough Christmas and I forgot." Santana replied, her gaze secured on the floor as she avoided eye-contact.
Rachel nodded, she knew something wasn't right and as her mind flickered back to the way Brittany had fussed over her girlfriend when she had first arrived the singer reached out a hand and placed it over one of Santana's. She let out a quiet gasp as she felt how cold the other girls skin was and she realised that the cheerleader had probably been sitting outside for some time, "You're freezing Santana, maybe we should go back inside-"
"I'm fine, beer-jacket." The cheerleader responded, although she did seem to shuffle closer to her friend as she answered.
Rachel sighed at the stubborn girl but she knew well enough to not start debating the issue, the two sat in silence for a moment before Rachel tried, "You can talk to me, if you want? I've been told I'm a good listener…once I stop talking."
Santana let out a small chuckle as she shot the girl a smile, it faded almost as soon as it came and the cheerleader shook her head as she struggled to find the right words, "I ruined Christmas."
The declaration was whispered so quietly that Rachel had to strain forward to hear it but as soon as the words were clear she felt her heart clench, "How can you say that? I'm sure that's not true-"
"It is." Santana interrupted her voice quiet and strained as she continued, "Every year my whole family make a massive deal about Christmas, seriously…it's epic or, it usually is. There's like a billion family traditions and cheesy games, we cook dinner together and everyone piles into cars and packs out a chosen relatives house."
"What happened this year?" Rachel asked tentatively, she didn't know much about the Lopez family in fact if she was honest she knew nothing about any of Santana's family.
Santana sighed, she could feel a familiar ache in her chest as she fought back the sadness that threatened to consume her, "Remember when I told you guys that I came out to my parents and they were okay with it?"
Rachel nodded.
"Yeah, well…they might have been okay with me being gay but they aren't exactly happy about it and the rest of my family sure as hell aren't." Santana said as she subconsciously squeezed Rachel's hand for support, turning to look at her friend she tried to explain, "My Mom is the Queen of presents, every year she somehow magically knows exactly what I want. Last year she found me a signed copy of Amy Winehouse's first album, I freaked out for weeks after she gave it to me. This year she gave me a card with some money stuffed in it and told me she didn't know what to get. It was so awkward, it was like she thinks I'm a totally different person now. I don't expect her to suddenly be cool with it all but she made me feel like she doesn't even see me as her daughter anymore."
Rachel nodded but stayed quiet as she let her friend vent her frustrations.
"My brother, Manny, came home from college and both my parents were fussing over him like he'd been gone for years. They can barely even stand to be in the same room with me but they can't stand to leave him alone for a minute and Manny…he's so fucking angry at me…He thinks I broke the family up…"
"What?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide as she shook her head.
Santana sighed as she gave a small shrug; Brittany was the only person she had told about her Abuela, "Before that campaign ad aired I knew I had to tell my Abuela, I thought she'd be on my side you know? I mean, I've spent my whole life looking up to her and she knows me better than anyone. I thought…I thought she'd be okay with it but…she made it pretty clear that she never wants to see me again. She said, she said I was a verguenza I…" Santana paused as she choked back her tears and explained, "She thinks I'm an embarrassment, she's ashamed of me."
Rachel frowned as she moved to wrap her other arm around the shaking girl.
"I thought, I hoped that maybe because it was Christmas she could at least pretend not to hate me but…it's not just her y'know?" Santana sniffed as she leant against the singer's small frame, "Everyone was supposed to go to my Aunt's this year, she lives in this huge house in Toledo and she's been planning it for months but she called and said I wasn't exactly welcome, turns out my Abuela isn't the only close-minded bigot in my family."
Rachel closed her eyes as she imagined how the cheerleader had discovered she wasn't invited.
"I knew that my parents and Manny wanted to go, it's the only time in the whole year where everyone is together and I knew they'd been looking forward to it." Santana continued, "So, we all got up early on Christmas Day and did gifts and had the world's most awkward lunch and then, then I told them to go."
"You what?"
"I told them to go." Santana mumbled, "I knew if I didn't then they were just going to spend the day sitting around the house ignoring me and making me feel guilty for stopping them from having a good time."
"Did they go?" Rachel asked, praying the answer would be no.
"They left just after lunch." Santana sighed, "It's only a couple of hours drive away so I knew they wouldn't miss much. They called later to say they were going to spend the night because it got late, they didn't get home till like, almost eleven the next night."
Rachel exhaled heavily, her own eyes shining with unshed tears, "You were alone?"
"It was either that or we all sat around our house feeling like shit and they hate me for completely ruining Christmas." Santana replied dully, "I'd rather be alone."
"What about Brittany?" Rachel asked, her grip on her friend tightening as she tried to wrap her head around the situation.
Santana shrugged, "Britts goes to her Grandma's every year…I didn't want her to worry so when she called to wish me a Happy Christmas I didn't tell her. She didn't know anything was wrong till she got back a couple of days later. She was pretty pissed at me for not saying anything; she was even more pissed at my parents."
"She's not the only one." Rachel sighed. "You should have called someone…."
"Yeah and spread my awesome holiday misery. No thanks."
Rachel shook her head adamantly, "You should have called."
Santana was quiet for a moment as she studied the floor with interest, she could hear the muffled shouts of the others from inside the house and she wished for the hundredth time that evening that she didn't have all of this weighing on her mind and holding her back from having fun with her friends, with a sigh the cheerleader mumbled, "It's not that easy though, is it? How the hell am I supposed to call anyone and tell them that my own family would rather be without me? I mean, I know I told them to go and I…I wanted them to, I didn't want them to stay because they had to I…I…"
"You wanted them to stay because they wanted to." Rachel finished.
"It was stupid. I thought maybe they'd pick me and they'd tell me that if I wasn't invited then they weren't going to go without me." Santana agreed as she set her drink to one-side.
"Have you talked to them about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about, I told them to go so in their eyes they didn't do anything wrong." Santana shook her head as she stared across the yard, "I know that none of this is easy for my parents and in their own way they are trying and it's not like I can expect them to suddenly be okay with everything because fuck, it took me long enough to accept myself you know? I guess…it takes time…"
Rachel nodded sadly, she would never agree that the other's girls parents were right to go without their daughter but she knew no good would come from arguing about it, "I guess but in the meantime if you ever need someone to call and Brittany isn't around for whatever reason, I want you to promise you'll call me."
"Really?" Santana asked, a hopeful look sneaking across her features as she sat up a little straighter.
"Really." Rachel repeated as she shifted to extend a hand, "Deal?"
Santana grinned as she clasped the outstretched hand and shook it, "Deal."
The sound of a door opening behind them drew both girl's attention and twisting awkwardly they both looked up to see Brittany hovering in the doorway with a bemused smile. It was at that point Rachel realised she was still tightly gripping Santana's hand as they huddled together from the cold night air.
"Whatcha doing?" Brittany asked as she tilted her head, her eyes shifting from one brunette to the other as she smiled, "Oh San, did you give Rachel her present?"
"She did." Rachel answered as she pulled her hand back from Santana's grip and flashed her bracelet at the dancer.
"It looks even better than it did in the box." Brittany grinned, "But bling aside, Kurt told me I had to come and get you because the countdown is starting and Artie wants to open the cheap champagne Puck brought but Kurt said we had to wait for you two."
Rachel giggled as she quickly hauled herself to her feet, extending her hand to Santana again she briefly wondered how inebriated she was about to find the glee club. She was so caught up in her internal debate over who would be the most embarrassing drunk that it took a moment for her to realise that Santana had not taken her hand, "You coming?"
Santana grimaced, "I'm not sure I'd be great company."
"You can't spend New Year's out here San." Brittany tried as she too offered her hand, "It's cold and everyone else is inside."
"It's fine, seriously." The cheerleader insisted.
Rachel shot Brittany a knowing look and receiving a small nod in return the singer grinned, "Well in that case if we can't bring you to the party, we'll bring the party to you. Finn!" the singer shouted, her voice echoing loudly around the yard.
"Jesus Berry." Santana laughed as she quickly stood to face the other two girls, "You trying to wake the whole freaking world up?"
Brittany grinned, "It's New Year, everyone is already up."
Santana was about to reply when Finn came lumbering out the door, "You bellowed, m'lady?"
Rachel giggled as she watched her boyfriend perform the clumsiest of all bows, "I did…Kurt! Blaine!"
Brittany laughed as she added her own shouts and pretty soon the whole group were gathered on the porch, most of the choir holding each other up with a mixture of hugs and willpower. As Artie rolled haphazardly through the door he waved a bottle of champagne, "What the hell are we doing out here?"
"Celebrating." Rachel stated simply as she gestured for Kurt to start handing out glasses and sorting drinks, "How long do we have?"
Quinn checked her watch and after squinting at the dial for a second she smiled, "It's nearly time!"
"Okay, okay…does everyone have a drink?" Rachel asked, automatically assuming the leading role as she eyed the group. A chorus of affirmatives rose up and as Rachel accepted her own glass from Blaine she heard the group begin to countdown.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
"Happy New Year!" Rachel shouted a huge smile on her face as she heard the words echoing around her. Turning to face Finn she giggled as he swept her into a kiss, when they broke apart Rachel couldn't stop the smile that seemed glued to her face as she saw the other couples in the group clinging to each other. Mike and Tina were wrapped in the tightest hug known to man, whilst Blaine was all but swinging Kurt around in a circle and judging by the blush on Mercedes face Sam had taken his opportunity when the clock stuck twelve. As her eyes fell on the girl's nearest to her Rachel felt her smile widen as she watched Brittany gently cupping Santana's cheek as she broke their kiss and rested their foreheads together.
A loud bang in the distance made Rachel jump and turning to look upwards she shouted, "Fireworks!"
The reaction was instant as the choir cheered and began spreading out across the lawn as they craned their necks upwards to watch the fireworks explode across the night sky. Rachel sighed happily as Finn took her hand his own eyes focused on the colours swirling above them, when she felt someone come to a stop the other side of her she shifted her gaze from the sky to Santana. She could see the way Brittany was gripping tightly to her girlfriends arm as she watched the display in awe.
"Happy New Year, Santana." She beamed as she reached out to take Santana's hand, lacing their fingers together as the cheerleader smiled.
"Happy New Year, Rachel."