-Sigh- I've disappointed you, I know. However, I have plenty of excuses like the fact my grandfather, whom I live with, has had a stroke and is on the long road to recovery. On the other hand, if you guys are still hanging around THANK YOU! Anyone notice my writings improved too? Huh, huh? Do you?

Anyway, I've got back into the flow of things and I'm here to write once again! Just a little note: I have a new computer; I lost all my old data so I'm sorting out how to continue with stories. If you guys have any suggestions that's great! :)

Ladies and Gentleman, welcome back to…

Tainted

Chapter 1 Broken

I watched him intently as he mumbled in his sleep, his pale face glowing in the moonlight filtering through the half open curtains. A slight frown was marking his otherwise flawless face. His dusty, pale pink lips were lightly parted taking soft inhales and exhales. His dark eye lashes reminded me of the enigmatic, cobalt eyes that would stare at me with such inquisitiveness. He was always trying to work me out, he had no need he knew me inside out. He knew my faults, the way I would tick and, yet, he still loved me and put up with me.

He wouldn't love me anymore. I was disgusting to him; we'd been fighting and drifting for so long. We were beyond repair, yet we both turned a blind eye. Somehow we would get through this, everything would be alright. We were so young, so young to be in love.

Biting my lip, I continued to remind myself that he would be better off without me. I was tainted, broken beyond repair – my body proved as much. He may act like the little child that's just been told his favourite toy has been broken and can't be repaired, they sulk and mope and then they get handed another toy and slowly fall in love with that one. They completely forget the toy that remains locked away in a wardrobe, under the bed or left in the sand pit. They're old news.

There is no future here for me, I am the teddy bear locked in the wardrobe, under the bed or left in that lonely sand pit. I could still be remembered but as time goes on I would begin to become a flicker of a memory. I was of no use.

A person like him, a magnificent person with so much potential, deserves better. He'd be better off, I had to remind myself, and he was never in love with me. We were a now and that was it. There was no future.

If someone asked, were you glad you met him?

Yes, was that really a question? Oh my god, yes. He was so…unique. I was the apple to his pie, the pencil to his paper. At first, he was so distant and tense. Anything that walked past he was on guard for. It was as if he expected something to fly at him. He acted like what people said didn't bother him. I saw through it though, just me. The way people whispered about him, he walked on as if nothing was being said but I saw the slight spark of anger in his eyes, the way his jaw would harden and the muscle in his jaw would pulse.

I'm glad I got him to open up, to learn to love and relax and be himself…even if it was for such a short time. Perhaps, when he meets someone else, he can be like that with them or help them to be like him. I'd be happy if that happened, more than anything.

Like everything in life, we move on. He'd move on. I'm just glad I could be part of his life for such a miniscule time. Perhaps, if I meant as much to him, he'd walk along the pier where we used to joke and talk, go to training ground 7 where we first fought and trained and the ramen stand where I loved to eat. Perhaps, I'd left enough of me here for him to remember but not be missed.

Tensing, my eyes darted to him as he turned to face me once again but his eyes remained sealed. After a minute, I relaxed and quietly whispered "I'll be going now…I love you, I hope you find someone who can give you more than I can…"

Silently, I added 'remember but do not miss, cry but do not grieve, move on but always remember…I was a part of you and my love will always be a part of you. I've left a part of me behind, deep inside you, embarked in your memories.'

I pushed myself onwards, ignoring the deep pang inside me that told me what I was doing was wrong, that I would hurt him. Maybe he would have a taste of how broken I was then. Sliding out from underneath the quilt, I winced from the spark of pain searing through my spine. I'd be fine; I'd manage. Sparing one final glance, sealing it inside my memory forever, I opened the door and slipped past. The only sound was the door closing and its audible click. Silently, I crept down the hallway, descended down the stairs, past the living room and out into the darkness of night, closing the door to the Uchiha complex which had been my home for the past year.

In honesty, I had no idea where I would go. Should I tell someone where I was going? It sounded like a good idea and then people wouldn't gather search teams for me or assume the worst. Who could I tell, though? No one who would immediately split on me, someone I could trust who was high up in the ranks…that way they could try and put off any searches…

As if the truth wanted to be beamed in front of me, I caught sight of the lights on in the Hokage Tower. Tsunade, of course…she was close to me and would respect my decision even if it was outrageous. She, of course, would still be awake with the amount of sake she inhales. Quickly, with little noise, I jumped on to the roof. Composing myself, reminding myself of the story I was going to tell her, I gently lowered myself to the window and peeped in.

Tsunade, a fifty five year old medical ninja, who's also the Hokage of Konoha, was my god mother. She was a heavy gambler and alcoholic yet her strength and logic overruled her weakness. Despite her age, she looked to be a thirty year old woman with a well-endowed chest, her blonde hair tied into its signature pigtails and the familiar diamond on her forehead.

Carefully, I watched as she paced back and forth, her eyebrows furrowed as she concentrated on something written on the parchment in her hands. As she turned once again, I slid open the window and onto the other side. With my feet on the wooden floor, I slid the window shut.

As the window was shut, a drift had entered the room. Tsunade, frozen in her spot, calmly said "…and what can I do for you, kiddo?"

Looking to the floor, I remained quiet. I didn't really know what she would say. My idea was stupid and had loads of holes, it was unbelievable. Even as I thought it through I knew it wouldn't work. Shikamaru would work it out within seconds if he asked the right people.

"Naruto," she turned round, her soft hazel eyes meeting mine, as she asked "is something wrong?"

Biting my tongue, I mumbled "No…"

Sighing, she threw the parchment on the desk as she muttered "That can wait for tomorrow, that bloody thing."

Turning towards me she asked "Now, what's wrong? I must have done something if you're visiting me at this ungodly hour."

Sighing, I quietly replied "I want to leave, Konoha."

It was quiet for a moment, her mind corresponding with what I'd just told her. Once it clicked, her eyes widened a fraction as she asked, quietly "…and what made you come to this decision?"

This was the point I told her about my disbelieving story, here goes nothing.

"The villagers are being their usual selves and I can't stand it anymore…I want a fresh, new start."

From speaking to Jinjuuriki's like myself, I'd learnt that it wasn't uncommon for them to defect from the village. Sometimes they left without a trace, no note explaining their departure, whilst others confided in a person and a story would be developed as an excuse.

I'd begun to think the first idea was better, to pack a bag and just leave. This idea would leave to many questions being asked and too much room for an explanation to solve. According to everyone, I was happy. I was in a relationship, I was gaining respect from peers, I had great, supportive friends, I was becoming a great ninja and my goal, to become Hokage, was lingering ever closer. However, the main point I have to make is 'according to everyone'. That's what everyone thought, it didn't have my honest opinion in the matter. Maybe the relationship wasn't going well, in fact it wasn't, and maybe my friends, who were meant to be there for me, were too busy settling down and getting themselves wrapped up in their own drama to even think of me.

Tsunade's frown told me she didn't quite believe me, the villagers left me alone now-a-days. So, before she could question it, I hastily said "Things aren't working out with…"

Come on, just say it. You've known it for a while now, so just admit it out loud.

"…with Sasuke…"

"Oh?" Tsunade raised an eye brow, "last time I saw you, you two were getting along fine…"

I half-heartedly chuckled "Its fine on the surface…we've been arguing a lot lately…and something he said got me thinking. I've decided that if I start somewhere else, completely anew, and get my head sorted out and my thoughts clear, then I can come back and resume life in Konoha."

She remained quiet for a minute, debating on my case. I tried to control my breathing, to keep my emotions stoic as I waited for her judgement. The temptation to fidget or move was hard to ignore as I waited; trying to distract myself, but not make it obvious, I adjusted the necklace she'd given me three years ago.

"I can see you've thought this for a while now," she began, my attention tuning to her "how about I give you a mission then? Would that take your mind off things?"

I hopefully looked at her, maybe she'd catch on that a mission wasn't sufficient enough. Biting the inside of my cheek, I thought through what else I could mention. Maybe I could bring up that I want to go train somewhere in solace, where I can focus my attention on using the Kyuubi's power more efficiently. Problem is, she'd probably send Pervy-sage with me.

"Oba-chan, I-I really want a new start. I can keep in frequent contact with you, you can send me missions whilst I'm away and once I've sorted myself out I can come back. I just need a break from everything."

She debated on this for a split second, before replying "Hypothetically speaking, if I agreed with you and let you go, what about telling the Uchiha and everyone else?"

Biting my lip, I muttered "I haven't told them, I was hoping you could tell them I went away on a mission."

Sighing, she rubbed her forehead as she said "Gaki, what's really happened? You're so close to becoming Hokage, you've gained respect from two other countries and-

"Please, Oba-chan? Please, let me." I asked, desperately.

Gritting her teeth, she clenched her jaw as her eyes became fixated on something on the wooden floor. I could understand the danger of me leaving, the Akatsuki was still at large despite being hunted down. Plus, I was a valuable person to Konoha, if I was needed, and I wasn't there, then they were in trouble. However, if I left and Tsunade kept in touch with me then nothing could go wrong.

"Okay, gaki."

I perked up at what she said, my eyes widening a fraction as I raised my head to face her slouched figure. She had perched herself onto the edge of her desk, her arms folded under her chest as her brain had racked over the scenario, I could tell by the frown she was wearing.

"Eh?"

"I'll let you go away for a while; however I want you to keep frequent contact with me. Send me one of your toads once a month. If there's any danger and you need assistance send me a toad at once, is that clear? I'll explain to anyone who comes to my office with inquiries about you that you're on a mission. I don't know how long they'll believe the story; however I'll do my best, alright?"

Relief washed over me, I was free. Tsunade didn't need to know I may never come back, all I needed was a break and I'd see from there how it went. Letting out a shaky breath, a smile of gratitude spread across my face as I cheerfully replied "Thank you, Oba-chan, for everything."

"Hey, don't go getting emotional on me, brat. You'll be back before you know it."

Nodding, I walked forward and embraced her in a hug. I took a deep inhale, trying to memorise everything about her. The way her hair smelt of vanilla, her clothes dashed with a small hint of sake and the fact that she was the closest thing I'd have to a mother. Holding her tightly, I exhaled before releasing her. Grinning, I said whilst I opened the window "I'll be seeing you, Oba-chan."

As I leapt through the window, sliding it back into place, I managed to hear the tail end of her saying "-message in a week."

Fading into the darkness of the night, I rapidly leapt from building to building. The walls of Konoha were racing to meet me and I was going to be free, however something made me pause. Coming to a halt on a slated roof, I looked around. The loud, brief snort of laughter caught my attention; it sounded a lot like…

There, stood in the street, was Kiba and the gang all laughing about something. The girls were dressed up, make up flattering them whilst they strutted in high heels. The rowdy boys were making a joke out of something whilst the girls protested. Kiba looked to be holding some beverage in his hand, which he often took a swig of. Ino clutched onto his arm, reaching for the bottle as she boisterously said "That's enough for you!" Kiba let out a loud laugh, holding it even higher in the air.

For a split second, I thought of jumping down and joining them, to be in the midst of the party, to be the clown, to be the life of the party once again. Something held me back, mind. Being drunk wasn't all that much fun and, thanks to the Kyuubi, I had a high tolerance for alcohol. It wasn't that much fun watching everyone else act like retards whilst you were sober, you didn't tend to get their flow of conversation or what was so hilarious.

Pushing myself onwards, I leapt from roof to roof and with one final push I surged over the wall, with no regrets.

I was finally free…

Tsunade's P.O.V

Next morning…

The more I thought about it, the more I realised how off Naruto had been. Something was definitely not right with him, why had I been so stupid and not got the truth out of him? Perhaps he was right, he did need a break. It left me wondering why he needed the break, had someone done something or maybe the question was what had someone not done?

It was infuriating me to no end, what could be wrong with the gaki? He's never, for as long as I've known him, acted like that. My suspicions were immediately drawn to the Uchiha; he was the most likely culprit. He wasn't too happy about being dragged back to the village three years ago, he should be thankful Naruto had stuck up for him and was so head strong about him, otherwise we'd all be staring at a head stone right now. Maybe it was him...then again not.

Had Sakura or someone said something that had ticked him off? Then again, Naruto always confronted a problem head on, usually without thought. For him to retreat, to even want to go as far as leave the village…

I growled, scrunching up the paper I had been using to jot down ideas for Naruto's reasons. I couldn't get my head round it, no matter what. Running my fingers through my hair, something I had been doing since Naruto had left, I analysed last night's conversation once again. It was leaving me infuriated and frustrated.

Licking my lips, feeling them chapped, I yelled "Shizune, get me some damn sake!"

"Yes, milady!" she replied back, through the door. Hearing her rapid footsteps dashing down the hallway, I stood up and began pacing. My eyes drifted towards the window, where Naruto had entered and left. There was something I had missed, I could feel it. It was niggling away, I just couldn't put my finger on it. He'd blamed the villagers but they hadn't bothered him since he got back. Then the problem had to reside with one of his friends or the Uchiha…

There was a cautious knock on the door, before it opened and Shizune stuck her head round the door looking rather sheepish.

Hastily, I asked "What is it, Shizune? Did you bring my sake?"

"Erm…I'm sorry, milady, Sakura and a couple of others are here to see you. The say it's something important. Naruto's gone missing or something?"

Standing upright, I adjusted my cardigan as I responded "I see…send them in, please."

"Yes, milady," she quickly replied.

Just as her head was about to disappear behind the door, I called out "Oh, and Shizune!"

Her head peeped once more around the door, "Err…yes, milady?"

"Please bring two bottles of sake."

"Tsunde-sama," she began to protest however I interrupted.

"On the double, Shizune, I could care less about my health at this moment."

Nodding, she didn't wait as she ducked behind the door and shut it. There were a few murmurs before there was another knock on the door and retreating footsteps. Good, Shizune was getting my sake.

Perching myself in my office chair, behind my desk, I shouted "Come in!"

The door flew open, Sakura, the Uchiha and others filing in hastily. I watched with mere interest, seeing the concern on their faces. Analysing their faces, I tried to see if there were any hints of regret or some tell-a-tale sign that something had gone down the night before. No one's faces told me anything.

Sighing, I addressed "Sakura, everyone, and what can I help you with on this fine morning?"

Being straight forward Sakura stated "We can't find Naruto anywhere."

"Oh, really?" I asked, playing along whilst drumming my fingers on the desk. The blasted parchment was still residing on my desk; I really needed to answer that letter. It was beginning to get on my nerves…

"Yes, Sasuke, according to him, woke up and Naruto was gone. He searched everywhere that Naruto could have been but after no sign, he called us over and explained how he was missing and we all began to look. Seeing as we still have no luck, we thought we'd consult you and see if you've seen Naruto."

Holding up my right hand, a sign of wait, I watched intently as Shizune opened the door, balancing on a tray with one hand two sake bottles. Licking my lips I watched her place them on the table, with a cup, before standing alongside the desk.

Helping myself, I popped open the bottle and poured some. Swirling my cup, I motioned with my hand to continue.

"Well, we can't find him. Have you heard from him or seen him? We're worried."

I debated on whether to tell them straight off the bat that I'd sent Naruto 'on a mission' or play it out as long as I could. Maybe then I could get an idea on Naruto's odd behaviour.

"Tsunade-sama, should we send out a search team with them? If Naruto's gone missing, then Akatsuki may have-

"No," I interrupted Shizune.

"What?"

My eyes flickered up towards two ice chilling, black depths as they heatedly glared at me.

"You don't want to send out a search team? The last report stated that Akatsuki were nearing this area, how can you not be worried?" the Uchiha demanded.

Taking the shot of sake, the warmth flowing down my throat and into the pit of my stomach, I replied "Why're you so worried? He's probably off training or something, unless…"

Eyeing each one of them, I continued "…something happened last night?"

My eyes darted to each face, trying to see any guilt, regret or recognition to my words. All I saw was worry. Looks like I'd have to press harder.

"Tsunade-sama, how would you know something may have happened last night?"

Pouring myself another drink, I stalled. Damn, I forgot about Nara.

"So, you're saying something did happen?"

"Hypothetically speaking, if something did then how do you know? Did you see Naruto?"

Snorting, I calmly replied "I have guards out 24/7, Shikamaru, and yesterday was a Saturday; many of our Shinobi spend it out drinking or eating. I was assuming you lot, seeing as you're seventeen that you were out."

Shikamaru, damn it, I need to be careful around him. If I give myself too much slack then he could see right through my story. If I become too defensive then that's another initiative that I do know something…

Sakura pleaded with me "Tsunade-sensei, are you sure you haven't seen Naruto? Have you seen him this morning or the guards, did they see anything last night?"

In truth, the guards hadn't reported anything suspicious and the night went without a hitch, besides a minor scuffle. Obviously, from the Uchiha's demands and how his anger had sky rocketed from my nonchalance, something had happened last night. Something had happened either between the Uchiha and Naruto or something between the entire gang, what though?

"No, the guards didn't report anything besides a scuffle in a bar. However, Naruto did pop by earlier this morning, at a rather ridiculous time in the morning, in fact."

"Really?" Shikamaru questioned "What did he come by for?"

"Did you see where he went?" the Uchiha questioned, his fists clenching.

Sipping this time, I bathed in the silence. Everyone was rather serious for a little matter such as this. The Uchiha even sounded desperate and, quite obviously, something had riled Nara to the point he's become interested. For the Nara, a naturally intelligent yet lazy person, to become involved had sparked my interests enough. Now was probably the time to inform them I'd sent the brat on a mission, see if they ask anything else and dig out that report on the scuffle.

"He actually came by to see how I was doing, doesn't hurt for someone to be kind once in a while." I began dismissively, swirling my drink "I had been busy with a letter I had received from the Daimyo, when he'd dropped by. We'd talked, discussed some training tips and then I asked if he wanted to go on a solo mission and he accepted. I handed him the scroll with the information and off he went, that's it really."

"Was he acting normal or was something on his mind?" Shikamaru questioned, his eyes drilling into my skull.

Pondering, I looked to analyse the room in thought, before replying "Hmm, a little bit. I asked him what was wrong and he said he'd had a bit too much to drink, that was all. I asked if he was okay to handle the mission and he said he was fine."

Aha, gotcha!

For a millisecond, Sakura met Kiba and Ino's eyes before looking toward me again. The Uchiha was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists a little too tightly too, he probably had something to do with it.

"When will he be back, he never told me about this mission."

My eyes defiantly met the Uchiha's as I replied "The mission is an on-going process, it depends on how quickly he gathers the required information and whether there are any delays. Naruto seemed confident with the mission and so left straight away."

"He would have taken his weapons and some clothes then, he hasn't according to Sasuke." Shikamaru inquired, frowning.

Coolly, I said "That's because I gave him some clothes and weapons that are specifically needed for the mission, no one else would see him leave the village because he's used the transformation jutsu to change his eyes and hair. I've told him to be extra cautious what with the Akatsuki and he understands that, don't worry. He'll be back before you know it."

Nodding in understanding they all began to walk towards the door, filing out. I began to draw my attention back to the letter on my desk when a voice inquired "What is this mission about, Tsunade?"

Looking up I met the determined eyes of Nara. Settling my pen down, I informed him "I'm sorry, Nara, the details of the mission are classified."

Gazing into his eyes, not daring to back down, I watched him nod and exit out of the doorway. The door was firmly shut behind me and I let out an exasperated sigh.

Thank god that was over.

I took another swig of my sake, Shizune's eyes questioning me as I did so.

Placing the cup down, I told her "Don't worry about it, Shizune, Naruto's our knuckle headed ninja."

Solemnly nodding, she walked out and back to her desk, closing the door once again. Sighing I lifted the sake bottle, frowning when I noticed it was empty.

Oh well, on to the next one…

Five months went by and I was busying myself with new reports from missions, the Council's pestering and the Chunin examinations coming up when I received, one afternoon, a small orange toad. At first, I hadn't acknowledged the toad's presence until I felt something bash me on the head. Looking up, its massive black eyes stared back at me with anger. I had been taken aback by the toad, seeing as I hadn't received any information from Naruto since the first week of his 'mission'. He'd basically explained he was a bit tight on time for sitting down and writing, so he'd send them when he could, however anything urgent and I'd get a toad.

Taking in the small toad, I asked unsurely "Yes, how may I help you?"

"The name's Gamatatsu, I'm Naruto's pal. He said I had to show you something, I'll only show it if you give me some food."

Blinking in mild confusion, I asked "Food? Don't you eat flies?"

He gasped, appalled at me before hoping from one webbed foot to the other as he said "I won't show you anything until you give me food~!"

Wrinkling my nose, I snatched a rice cake from my lunch and gave it to him. The toad didn't give it a glance as he took a massive mouthful. Through his chews he began to relay the message. I tried to understand however he was so busy eating he was cutting pieces out of the message.

Growing irritated I snatched the rice cake up, just as he began to whine, I asked impatiently "Did he give you a letter to give to me?"

"Yes!" he replied, hopping for the rice cake.

"Pass me the letter and I'll give you an extra rice cake."

"Okay, okay!" he whined, pulling out from his messenger bag the letter and dropping it on the desk.

Snatching up the letter I threw him the rice cake and another back. He greedily took them as I said "Here, take them, I can't stand the damn things."

Sitting himself down as he began to munch on them, he began to strike up a conversation on why I didn't like them. I ignored him, studying the front of the envelope. In neat writing it said one simple word.

Slug

Sighing, not debating on the strange nickname, I quickly ripped open the letter. Pulling out the one page, I began to read it despite my boiling irritation with the toad's constant one sided conversation.

'Hello,

I'm sorry I haven't sent a message since the first week; I got a bit entangled up with helping a farm. Anyway, the toad I've sent you, Gamatatsu, will be my messenger from now on. He's not really of importance in the Toad world, so I've got him as a companion. For you to have gained this letter, I suppose you had to give him some sort of food. His favourite is rice cakes, he may begin to double the amount so be careful. Anyway, I'm rambling so I'll begin to explain myself.

I'm currently residing in Spring Country; the Akatsuki gained knowledge of my whereabouts and were hot on my heel. However, the King and Queen offered me a place to stay. I objected at first, I didn't want them in danger; however they said I could go under disguise. Therefore, I have. I can't really move from Spring Country at the moment, as I sort of have a condition…

I've been a bit…under the weather since I last messaged you, if you can put it that way…nothing to worry about however it does concern…

"Oi! Did you hear me!?"

Irritated, I looked up from my reading as I hissed "What?!"

The toad, slouched happily on my desk, raised a rice cake as he said "I think we're going to be great friends…oh, could I have another?"

Dejectedly, I handed him the rest as I continued reading.

I didn't like them anyway…

A/N

Hey! What do you guys think? My writing's improved so much; however it still may need tweaking. I understand that. However, I hope you guys are happy with the update and I hope to get some lovely reviews! Did I work well with the cover up for Naruto, was it good or bad? Was the questioning good or over done?

I'll be deleting the other chapters, so any new readers won't find out the rest of the plot just yet!

Don't worry, the humour will be remaining I promise!

Bye for now, but not forever!

Honey-Emily98