Note: This is CRACK, and thus timelines and common sense are completely forgotten. The characters are also noticeably unsound in mind.
"Light-kun."
L looked hesitantly to Light, a slight nervous feeling spreading through his body. Light looked to him, hazel eyes wide with excitement… Was it L, or was the glimmer in Light's eyes somehow rather… evil?
Light tried to hold back a wide grin. Tried.
"Yes, Ryuuzaki?
"Where are we?" L looked at his surroundings. There were strange… things around them. It looked like a water amusement park, which (ironically) wasn't very amusing at all.
He looked to his right, eyeing huge red… balloon-like objects sprouting from the ground. There were a total of four and they were aligned in a straight row. Hmm…
"This is your punishment ground, Ryuuzaki. This," Light paused for an effect and spreading his arms wide to emphasize his point, "is the Wipeout Arena!"
"MUAHAHAHA, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
L looked at Light, blinking slowly. He waited for a few seconds…
A few minutes…
"Er-hm, Light-kun?" L tapped Light's shoulder lightly, causing the brunette to stop his demented laughter.
"Oh, oh, sorry, Ryuuzaki. The evilness of the situation just required an evil laugh."
Light grinned at L, eyes still gleaming.
"What is this all ab-" L was cut off.
"The stage is set," a loud booming voice suddenly sounded out of nowhere, "Twenty-four ordinary men and women are about to go head to head with the most extraordinary obstacles course ever assembled!"
Two question marks hovered over L's and Light's heads.
Twenty-four ordinary men and women? O-O
"Only the swiftest and fastest four will survive its wrath and earn a shot at fifty thousand dollars!"
L stick out his lower lip and let out a puff of air upward, playing with his messy fringe. This is boring…
"Oh… Wait! This episode's players have been changed to… the Death Note cast! The prize will vary according to the player! This is very interesting indeed!"
The players and their prizes are as follows:
L - Strawberries Arnaud ($1.4 million dollars)
Light - Another punishment for L
Misa - Light for a night
Near - Exclusive puzzle made by L
Mello - High-class Chocolate
Matt - Video Games (Not released in market yet)
Soichiro - Fifty Thousand Dollars
Matsuda - Brain Upgrade Treatment (Might be Free)
Aizawa - Fifty Thousand Dollars
Mogi - Fifty Thousand Dollars
Watari - New Model Sniper Gun
Sayu - No homework for a month
Mikami - Light for a night
Takada - Light for a night
Beyond Birthday - L for a night (to toture)
"Well then! These fifteen players will have to fight for their prizes!"
Suddenly, a bright light flashed, momentarily blinding the duo (L and Light). As on cue, twelve startled people fell from the heavens, joining in the game.
The three Whammy boys landed with an 'Oof' on a grass patch near the duo. Near's keen eyes scrutinized his surroundings as he subconsciously hugged his robot to his chest. Strange… He swore that he'd seen such a place before… Matt and Mello had been talking about a rather peculiar game show in which…
"It's… Wipeout." Matt's lips quivered in awe as his eyes absorbed his surroundings, "Hell yeah."
"Fuck, Matt. Get the hell off me." Mello said, violently pushing Matt off him. He grimaced, looking to the ruined chocolate on the ground. It was squashed.
"My... chocolate." Mello whispered, voice shaking.
"My... My... My..."
Matt's wide curious eyes looked at Mello through his googles.
"Your chocolate?"
"YOU KILLED MY CHOCOLATE! FUCKING DIE!" Mello hollered, grabbing Matt's shirt by the collar and lifting Matt off the ground.
"Waitwaitwait! Crap, Mello! I'll buy you as many as you want okay? Just let me go!" Matt exclaimed, trying to wriggle out of the chocolate-obsessed Mello's iron-grip.
"R-Really?" Mello's eyes went wide, a tinge of excitement crawling into that focused gaze.
Matt gulped.
"Yeah."
Mello flashed a cute smile. "Okay!" He let go of Matt.
Near stared at them.
That didn't just happen.
Mikami, Takada and Misa landed in a huge puddle of water, the two girls screaming the whole way through. "It hurts!" Misa complained shrilly.
"Someone as unintelligent as you shouldn't even have a right to participate!" Takada exclaimed, sticking out a tongue at Misa.
"Eliminate! Eliminate! ELIMINATE! ELIMINATE! ELIMINATE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mikami let out a deranged laugh as he whipped his head back, Light-style. He swept his pen to the side in a very cool manner (which he felt his God would be proud of), and brought his pen to fill in the next blank page of the…
Book…
As he begun to realize said book wasn't there in his hands anymore, he also realized that his hand held no pen whatsoever.
Then that wind whipping through his hair wasn't his awesome imagination of his coolness but… a real one? So he had actually fell to an unknown place, laughing…?
Oops.
"Teehee." He put a hand on his mouth, giggling. "Heehee."
Misa and Takada stared at Mikami in horror.
Did he just giggle?
The Kira Investigation Team landed right in front of L and Light. Horrified screams filled the air, except a man named Matsuda who continued his singing. They landed with an impact, knocking the air out of their lungs. Five grown men landing on top of one another hurt… a lot.
Matsuda looked around him.
Ah! He must've fallen asleep again! Yay! he thought happily to himself, Now I can dance!
"Let's do the Boogie-Woogie, everyone!" He hollered into the air, standing on the four men below him and shaking his butt back and forth. He then jumped on the four men.
Up down Up down!~
TEEHEE!
Everyone stared, except for the men below him who were screaming at him to get the hell off. Oh yeah, he thought, he knew that he was sexy~
He bit in finger in a sexy manner, and sent an air-kiss to the audience around him.
Then he did the Rain Dance, Oof-ing and Hu-ing about.
"Oof Hu Oof Hu Oof Hu HAAAA!"
"Bang!"
A gunshot was fired. By an extremely irritated Watari.
"Kindly get off or I will be forced to blow your brains out via your butt."
Ooh... Matsuda stared at Watari. But how?
As his brain processed how the bullet would be able to reach his brain via his butt, a second gunshot went off.
Matsuda gulped. This dream's Watari was rather scary. The last time he dreamt of the old man, he was trying to touch the ceiling. Matsuda-style. (He never did manage to touch the ceiling. It was too low.)
"O-okay." Matsuda jumped off the pile of bodies. Mogi, Aizawa, Soichiro and Watari slowly got to their feet, groaning as they did so.
Beyond Birthday peered at the crowd of people around him as he squatted on the grass with his hands on his knees.
This was beyond his expectations. (No pun intended.)
This… was going to be fun. And he was determined to win. (L for a night? Heh.) His bright red eyes glinted with malicious glee.
However, he seemed to realize that only twelve people had fallen. There were a total of fourteen people here… Who was missing?
As if on cue, a shrill scream pierced the air. It was coming from… above his head…?
BB looked up, wide eyes meeting Sayu's.
Oh crap.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sayu's scream increased in volume.
"Ugh!" BB let out a groan as Sayu landed right on him. The stupid girl…!
"I'm so sorry! Er… whoever you are."
BB kept his irritation to himself. It wouldn't have helped the situation anyway…
"Gmhh Om Mmm!" BB shouted.
"OH. I AM STILL SITTING ON YOU! LOL! ER, I MEAN. ERM. SORRY. PFFT." Sayu sat up, accidentally elbowing BB in the chest.
"Ugh!" He cried out involuntarily.
"Get away from me." He growled in pure irritation as he rubbed his chest.
"I'm sorry! Ack! I… I'm so sorry! (T_T)" Sayu said apologetically.
BB eyed the girl. She had Lol'd at him.
Shit. He didn't know what Lol was… He knew it to be some shortcut of some sort…... Or... was it? Oh, no. Crap. L was here. Was she a secret agent that knew some kind of code to contact L regarding him…?
What did LOL mean!
DAMN YOU LOL!
L and Light looked at their surroundings. Yup, there wasn't anything weird going on here…
"Light-kun. I refuse to participate in such a pointless game." L said, nibbling on his thumb as he did so. This was getting out of hand.
"Oh, L. But you have to… You lost the bet the other time, remember? When you couldn't stand being me anymore…"
Light grinned, malice swirling in those brown, hazel eyes.
Yes! Yes, L. YOU WILL EMBARRASS YOURSELF! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
A light tap at his shoulder…
"Er-hm. Light-kun. Please stop laughing."
Oh.
"Okay, Ryuuzaki."
HEEHEE.
Well, as the hosts of Wipeout looked on, wide-eyed and mouths agape, it was certain that the Death Note cast had been rounded up.
And thus, let the games begin!
Disclaimer: Hey guys! ;D How did you find it? Yup, just so you know, L's prize, the 'Strawberries Arnaud' is real! xD I actually researched it for fun 8D
And so... This is a sequel of 'I Dare You'! If you haven't read it yet... Well, if you want to read it to know what happened... Then here's the link: .net/s/7694354/1/I_Dare_You
Yup! This is L's punishment, wakakaka xD And to spice everything up, I added loads of other Death Note characters as well!
As this is pure CRACK, I hoped you guys had a good laugh! xP It is supposed to be funny, after all.
And for my other series, L's iPad, I'm sorry to say I'm a little... stuck? Yeah... I'm so sorry guys. I have already written it halfway through, and I'm trying my best to improve on all the areas of the story! Yup!
Okay guys! I will end this very lamely. (As I did for 'I Dare You')
With a Flower Poem I go:
Roses are red
Violets are violet
Fire-breathing Squirrels.