Jealousy. Something... I don't have. Well... more like show. Who am I? Known as the town's asexual emotionless jerk. Know who I am yet? Outer appearance; tall, black hair to my shoulders, dead grey eyes with dark bags underneath them, skinny, and always wearing something blue whether it be a jacket, shoes, pants, shirt, or hat. But I rarely wear hats anymore; even though as a kid I refused to take my chullo off. If you haven't guessed already; I am Craigafer Randolph Tucker. Call me Craigafer, your balls won't exist anymore. To you, or anyone, I'm Craig.

Anyway, back to Jealousy. You're probably thinking... Craig Tucker... Jealous... What? Of who? Why? What year is this and what twisted future are we in? Well.. To get your heads straight, I am jealous. Of Thomas. It's January 2012; and according to the world, we all die this December.

2012, is not my reason for this. Or anything. Thomas is. That little fucking chubby Russian kid with Tourettes. That freak. That kid who might've been cool about 7 years ago.

Yeah. I fucking hate his fucking fat disgusting being with every nerve in my body now. Know why? He stole the love of my life.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, back up. You're probably thinking: Love? Craig can't feel love, he's an asexual emotionless jerk. Well. You're wrong. That's just on the outside. I've told so many people that I'm not interested in any gender. Yes, theres been rumors around the school that I'm gay, and that may be true, but I haven't told anyone that.. Nobody knows. So my sexuality is just a rumor.

Back to Thomas. Who did he steal from me? Kenny. Kenny. James. McCormick. A.K.A. The hottest fucking piece of ass in all of South Park.

And who does Kenny, the whore of the town choose? Thomas. Not me, Not anyone, Thomas. That kid doesn't even go to our school. His freak disorder forces him to be homeschooled. But guess what. The whole town still knows. Everyone knows everyone here. And I get to know the most about Kenny; because we're best friends. Kenny knows the most about me; or so about the mask I put up.

I've told him lies about everything; whereas he's gone far enough into his life, he's broken down crying about it. Like... his dying thing for example. Ever since our close friendship started when we were about 10, he's been telling me that he can't die. He's told me so many times, putting more and more detail into it, I couldn't tell if he was crazy, or just building up bullshit. Until once when we were 14. He supposedly "came back" after dying the day before, and he asked me if I remembered. Of course, I said no. I've never fucking seen Kenny die. That's ridiculous... But then.. when he started telling me for over the 100th time.. he just got so into it, he became emotional. I'd never. Ever. Seen him like that. Ever. I had to believe him. He'd never be so serious about something.

... I like to get off subject, holy shit. ANYFUCKINGWAY. Nobody knows about me. Not even Kenny. He knows about... the obvious stuff. He hasn't seen me laugh since 5th grade. Or smile. Or frown. Or show any emotion. Whenever we have a conversation about me, I change the subject when I run out of lies. The usual questions; Are you gay? Why haven't you smiled in so long? Why are you so dead-looking? Do you like anyone? Are you a virgin?

The list goes on and on. The answers I'd give him would be, No, Because I don't smile, because this is my face, no I hate everyone, and Yes, I am a virgin.

Funny how all of those answers were lies.

I can't tell whether he believes me or not. Either way, he just lets it go. And tells me more about himself. To be honest, I love to hear about him. Any time I have with him, I call sacred. I am deeply in love with him. Do I show it? Pft. No. Never. But guess what, world. I do love him. Probably more than that fucking alien monkey freak he's dating now.

Whenever Kenny tells me something, I get a feeling of happiness in my chest. Well... Not happiness...persay. Just this feeling... of being wanted. Or something gay like that... Whatever. Even if what he's sharing is a family problem, or any problem. I just love to listen to his perfect voice talking..

Now I'm sounding like a 12 year old girl with her first crush... great. Sadly, this is all true. Maybe.. Just maybe.. if he ever said he'd love me.. I'd smile and show my crooked teeth with a somewhat noticible gap in my two front ones. I'd be sooo happy...

If I remembered what it felt like to be happy. If I remembered what it even felt like to have the need to show emotions. Even if they were subtle. They'd still show.

Nobody knows the real reasons for anything. I get asked sometimes in the hallways at school about why I'm so mysterious. I could get asked if I was Kenny's fuck toy one day, then be asked about my dark eye bags the next.

I fucking wish I was Kenny's fuck toy.. It'd be one step closer to love.

If someone looked at me, without studying my body, inside and out, they'd think I was a normal kid who probably just has an insecurity about his teeth, so he doesn't smile.

People need to look closer. They'd be surprised at what they'd find within the walls of my brain. It's not pretty.

I hide well.