Shatter

Acceptance

Setsuna inhaled deeply, then sighed quietly, reclining snugly into the white lawn chair on Asuna's patio, closing her eyes for a moment as she savoured the heat of the sun on her skin.

The sun was sitting low in the western sky, a fiery orange sphere burning brilliantly on the horizon and radiating warmth down upon the two girls sitting a foot apart from each other.

Long red sun-lit hair cascaded over slender shoulders as the other girl shifted, allowing her hand to fall over the edge of her chair, casually dangling in the space between them and mimicking Setsuna's movement. Their hands brushed against each other, knuckles touching, but neither made a move to pull away.

"So..." Setsuna started, opening her eyes and gazing at the sun for a moment through her tinted sunglasses. When the fiery ball started to hurt her eyes, she looked away. Toward a barely visible crescent moon that was sharing the sky with the sun. It wasn't often Setsuna saw them both occupying the low horizon, and she let her mind wander as she gazed idly at them.

Silence filled in the gap between them, and when it was obvious Setsuna was lost in thought and needed a prompt, Asuna gently provided one.

"So?" She asked quietly, wondering what the raven-haired, black onyx-eyed girl was thinking. Although if she removed her sunglasses, Asuna thought, the sunlight would probably turn her eyes a beautiful, deep ochre brown.

Setsuna raised her right hand in front of her face, leaving her left hand still tentatively brushing against Asuna's.

She turned her hand back and forth, wondering for the umpteenth time how she could still be so pale after all the time she spent in the sun. Of course, that wasn't to say that she hadn't darkened at all, but when compared to her girlfriend...

Setsuna glanced over at Asuna as her hand fell back into her lap. Thoughts of her girlfriend Konoka had set her heart beating quickly at the thought of the clumsy, yet carefree and vibrant girl. She had managed to obtain quite the tan over the last few weeks of summer, and it was pretty attractive.

Mind back on Asuna's speculative response, Setsuna's brow furrowed as she tried to think of a way to phrase her question.

"I was curious..." Setsuna said lazily, looking away and returning her gaze to the far away moon.

"About what?" Asuna replied softly. Normally she would have been irritated by Setsuna's plodding pace at trying to vocalize what was on her mind, but ever since their relationship-if it could have been called that- ended, she had found herself much less stressed out. Less worried. Now, she found she could simply enjoy the time she spent with Setsuna without worrying about fighting to maintain her interest, or any of the other thoughts that used to plague her mind. They were back to being just friends, and strangely, it worked. Asuna wasn't sure why she had been so blind to it before, but it was just as well, she thought. She had truly learned what it was like to want something so wholly and completely, and to be denied it, and have her heart broken. It wasn't something she ever wanted to repeat, she thought.

Thoughts getting off track, she was lost in the memories of what it was like to have Setsuna entangled in her sheets and devoid of any clothing or space separating their sweaty bodies, and was startled when Setsuna began speaking.

"Eh? Sorry, say that again?" Asuna asked, crossing her legs. Setsuna glanced at her, but the gaze remained unseen.

"I was asking...why, in the end, at my party...you bought me a ring."

Asuna quirked an eyebrow. "Aren't rings usually given to someone's love, as a symbol of commitment?"

Setsuna nodded, as she thought of how to word her next question.

"Why then...didn't you try harder?" She asked. Immediately she regretted asking it like that, knowing the girl at her side would take it the wrong way.

Asuna looked at her, disbelieving. "Try harder? I couldn't have tried any damn harder." Her voice was low, although filled with emotion. "I-"

Setsuna held up a hand, and cut her off. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant." She replied. "I just...when I told you no, I expected...I dunno...something different. Your reaction...you just seemed to collapse. No yelling. No screaming. No denial, no fervent pleading...I was prepared for the worst, thinking you wouldn't stop at anything to convince me otherwise."

Asuna inhaled quietly, then sighed softly. A moment later, she chuckled.

"No..." She breathed. "I told you I would come to you for an answer on your birthday. No matter what it was, I was determined to respect it. I told myself that I wouldn't chase you forever." At this she cast a sly glance at Setsuna. "Although you're starting to make it sound like that's what you want." She teased.

Setsuna playfully swatted her hand, followed by a mumbled, "You know what I mean."

Asuna looked up at the orange sky as the sun fell further behind the curve of the earth where sky met ground.

"The ring...was a symbol of my resolve. My resolve to love you, no matter what answer you gave me. If you said yes, you'd be wearing that ring right now, and I'd be incredibly happy. Even when you said no...I knew."

"You knew?"

"I could feel you slipping away, Setsuna." Asuna replied. "The looks, the avoidance of compliments, the silence whenever I said something that you didn't quite agree with but didn't have the heart to confront...it was all so obvious."

"I'm sorry." Setsuna's words were sincere, but carried no regret.

"I'd accepted long ago that there was a big chance I would lose you on your birthday. I'd tried my hardest, but when you gave me the honest answer in your heart, I accepted it. There was nothing I could do to change it anyway. Anything that could have been done, I'd already tried. We just weren't meant to be, you know?"

Setsuna was silent, contemplating her words. Almost immediately though, it was broken by the sound of quiet singing.

"I have a tale to be told, won't you listen tonight

Follow me into the core of the fountain of light

Try to imagine that hope is a ship for the soul

Over the ocean the quest of your life-"

Setsuna silenced the alarm, stopping the song, and yawned suddenly, stretching.

"Konoka will be done work soon." She said quietly, noting the time.

Asuna's eyebrow raised as Setsuna slipped her iPhone back on the chair between her legs.

"She had a job now?"

"Yeah, today was her first day. Down at the convenience store. Hopefully it went well for her."

"I'm sure she did well. She's a smart girl." Asuna replied, then fell silent.

"What are you doing after you pick her up?" Asuna asked, after a few moments.

"Heading by the pharmacist to get some medication stuff for her, then I'm surprising her and taking her to dinner and a movie. That new one she wants to see came out today, and I picked up tickets for it before I came and got you."

"Wow, she's a lucky girl." Asuna's admiration was clear in her voice.

"Why's that?" Setsuna asked, puzzled.

"Because she has you." Asuna answered truthfully. "You treat her so good. She's lucky to have you."

Setsuna said nothing, like usual, when presented with a compliment. Silence once again filled the air between the two.

"That stuff doesn't bother you?" Asuna asked suddenly.

Setsuna looked at her, confused. "What stuff?"

"You know...her...medication and stuff. Her illness. It's not weird?"

Setsuna shook her head. "She's a human being who needs love and affection and someone to lean on just like anyone else. She's no different than you and I."

"Is it permanent?" Asuna asked. "Will it get better? Worse? Can it kill her?"

Out of all the reactions Asuna was expecting, laughter was not one of them. Yet Setsuna laughed, shaking her head until her laughter faded to a grin.

"What...?"

"Only you would ask something so personal like that so boldly and up front." Setsuna said. "It's admirable." Another head shake, although this one was slower.

"I don't know, actually. I've never gotten up the nerve to talk to her about it, or really understand it better, really."

"I see."

"It's not really casual dinner conversation material, you know?"

"Yeah, that's true." Asuna nodded in agreement.

"I do want to know though. Someday, hopefully, I'll be able to talk to her about things like that."

Asuna nodded slowly. "Someday."

Setsuna pulled out her phone, and stood. "Well, I gotta go. It was nice to hang out with you. I'll see you soon, okay?"

Asuna nodded, and reached up, gesturing to Setsuna. Setsuna took a few steps closer, and from where Asuna was laying, she reached out and grabbed Setsuna's hand. Holding onto it for a second, she gave it a squeeze, then let go, turning her gaze to the now rapidly disappearing sun as darkness hesitantly crept across the sky overhead.

"See you soon, Setsuna." She said quietly, listening to responding sigh, then receding footsteps.

When she heard Setsuna's car pull away, she smiled to herself.

"I've accepted it, Setsuna. I no longer have you."

A wistful smile. She had taken Setsuna's hand, and felt it. Her ring was on Setsuna's finger. It wasn't on her ring finger, fulfilling it's duty as a promise to always love her like she had so desperately longed for, but instead was on her pointer finger. Setsuna had taken it, and said that it would be a constant reminder of her best friend, and that nothing would ever split them apart. Friend. Setsuna had made sure to emphasize that as she slipped the white gold band onto her finger, three diamonds glittering in the light. The ring was interesting, Asuna thought, and fit Setsuna quite well. It was thin, but not girly. The diamonds weren't set in prongs, proudly standing high above the surface of the ring, but were inset in the surface of the ring itself, and could easily be mistaken for an ornate mens ring. It was classy, and strikingly beautiful, Asuna thought. Just like the girl who wore it.

"I've accepted that you're out of my reach, Setsuna."

Another sad smile.

"Maybe, if I keep telling myself that...I really will accept it one day."

A/N: Every once in a while, little things like this will be posted, to compliment and extend the main story, even though it is finished. These updates will cover a variety of things, and aren't limited to any characters in particular. Even though Shatter is technically complete, there are still ideas and themes central to the story that I want to continue to explore that didn't get covered in the main storyline. If you're interested in any of these, please add Shatter to your Story Alerts list so that you may recieve a notification when I put something new out. Thanks for reading!