Hi everyone,

Happy Christmas (for those who celebrate) and Happy New Year! Hope you've managed some time out with the ones you love - a little less work and more time to play!

I haven't been able to see the finale of season two, but I've read up on it. My initial reaction wasn't actually sadness but annoyance. *shrugs* I know R&I's creators want to boost ratings with a climax that will make the audience maintain interest until next season, but this one didn't seem to be for the fans. It's like a 'haha' to those who love the Jane/Maura chemistry, but also it's disappointing to me that the only drama the writers create lately is by putting the girls in danger or creating conflict between them. There is so much more they could do.

Anyways... blah blah blah soapbox blah blah blah... lol. Sorry! Just slightly frustrated. So, I wrote this in response... quickly I might add, and I feel it's more true to the characters we've come to love. I hope to finish this one for you soon. It won't be a long fic, but I still hope it'll be a goody... please, let me know what you think.

Cheers,

Tj. xx

Jane sat back, watching as Doyle was loaded into an ambulance. She watched Maura fuss around getting in the way of the EMT's, arguing to be taken with them. To say she was in shock was a massive understatement. Although she could understand Maura's distress at what had happened, the harshness at which she'd been spoken to, and the lack of understanding of the danger they were in when she'd taken the shot, made her wonder just who it was she was looking at… and what the hell Doyle had done to come between them?

As far a Jane was concerned, the image of her best friend was currently occupied by an unknown. She'd never seen Maura like this before, and it hurt. She was pissed and baffled by many, but as she watched Maura arguing with the EMT's her anger and justification of her own actions got the better of her. She walked over with purpose, and grabbed the ME's hand, yelling for the EMT's to go.

"Jane! What are you doing? I want to go with them!"

"Too bad," she said under her breath.

She dragged the woman, who previous to today had embodied the form of her best friend, down to the side of the warehouse. Once they were hidden by a series of large wooden crates from the processing units at the crime scene, she shoved Maura against the wall, a little too hard.

"You wanna go with him? !" she yelled.

Maura glared at her, brushing the rustic environment from her clothing and made to leave. Jane shoved her back, hard, once again. "No! You don't get to play loving daughter until you explain this bullshit behaviour to me!"

"Don't you dare manhandle me!"

"Why not! I'm a brute, right!" She leans in and intimidates, pointing her finger to back her argument. "I use lethal force for no reason, right!" She shoves her again and holds on, keeping her in place. Jane's chin quivers as her anger turns to tears. She cringes, shutting her eyes and attempts to get her shit under control. "I mean I… I've shown you I'm more than that, right? That I'm more than this? !" She grits her teeth and holds up her badge. "I've protected you all this time, Maura! With my life…!"

Finally the ME starts to see beyond her own pain, yet she's conflicted. "Jane…" Her voice shakes.

"And what's he done…? !" The detective squeezes her grip, pushing her once more before stepping away. "What's he done for you, huh? Has he loved you? Given you a family? !"

"It's not that simple, Jane and you know it!"

"Yeah, I know it, because it is that fuckin' simple! What's he done for you, Maura? He's kidnapped you! Held you at gunpoint! He's forced you into being some backyard surgical unit for the mob!"

Jane turns to stare at the site where the ambulance once was. She holds herself as it all feels too hard.

"And what have I done... or been doing for you, all this time..." She shakes her head, looking down. "Wasting it, it feels like."

"No…!" The ME is torn. "What happened… what you did in there…! I can't… I just can't...!"

"Ignore it, right... No, as fucked up as it is I know you're right." She looks around seeing the world for what it is for the hundredth time, and then looks up. "Nothing's unconditional, Maura. Everyone has their limit. Everyone has a price."

Her hands unravel and grip her hips as if to ground her, and hold her upright. She feels her gun and the day's tangled web of human emotions run a slideshow inside her head. It's just another mess to clean up, another mess of failed human interaction and let downs. Jane deflates on the spot, and wonders whose betrayal will count the most.

Will it be Doyle's for leaving Maura in the first place, only to then come back into her life and wreak havoc? Or will it be hers for taking the shot? Or Dean's for showing up when he promised he wouldn't? Or is it Maura's for forgetting all the love, all the heart Jane has given her since the day they first met?

"So much betrayal," she mutters, "It's fucked." She shifts, looking at her breathless friend to give the final blow, "If this is what you want, if he's it, then I'm done."

She shakes her head.

"I'm done."

And walks away.

Frost sat at his desk, shell shocked over the happenings of the last 24 hours. It wasn't the shoot out that disturbed him the most, but the actions of one ME who'd come to mean so much to him and his colleagues. He heard the tell-tale footsteps and began typing drivel in order to look busy. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

"Barry, I'm surprised to see you so soon at your desk after yesterday…"

"Yeah, I bet." He didn't bother to look up as confusion set upon on her face.

He made to get up. He needed to get away from Maura before he lashed out.

"I gotta check something in the computer lab."

"Is there a problem, Barry?"

The use of his first name set him off.

"Detective to you." Surprising himself at the venom in his speech. "You know, sometimes I forget you're just a civilian. Sure you deal with the dead every day, and you see the depravity us cops have to deal with… but you don't know what it's like to carry a gun, day in, and day out. You don't know what it's like to carry it knowing someday you'll have to use it."

He sees her shock at his confrontation, sees her tears but keeps on going.

"This isn't just a cold piece a metal…" he says, opening his jacket. "This is a burden we train for... We hone our abilities to use it, to be calculated and instinctual when we pull the trigger… Cause if we don't? That split second where we hesitate, can cost a life…"

Her face had hardened as he continued, as did her voice. "I'm well aware of the terms in which you're trained in order to carry a service weapon."

"No, with all due respect Doc, and after yesterday, I don't think you are."

He waited as she readied herself.

"We train to make our skills merge with our natural instinct for several reasons, one of those is the fact that we're human… if we get caught up in all the heartache and bullshit that surrounds using brutal force we'd never use it. We'd never use it and cops would die... That's what you're not gettin'… but hey, if that's what you want? If you want us to question the consequences and emotional heartache every time before we pull the trigger to save a life or to stop an armed individual then so be it. You can be that naïve if you want to... but while you're sitting all high and mighty on your treetop, you need to think about this… if Jane had done that, it she'd taken the chance at trusting Doyle for your sake and it'd backfired, I'd be dead."

He stares before moving away and brushing his hand down the length of his tie. He pauses at the door leaving her with one last thought.

"I, for one, thank you for your concern. I thought I meant a little more to you than Doyle did. I thought we all did, but I guess I was wrong."

The second Frost left Maura broke into a controlled sob. Her hand crushed her mouth and she tried her best to suck it in and not lose control. It was hard. So hard, knowing everyone was suddenly against her. Everything had been so confusing and her conflicting emotions had so easily ruled her.

She didn't know what to do, how to move or what to say the next time she saw Barry. She heard a shuffle behind her and came face to face with the wise grey beard of Korsak. His expression told her this next interaction wouldn't be any different. She took a breath and readied herself, hoping for a little of his mercy.

He knew she was upset. He also understood her reasons behind it, but he couldn't forgive her for taking sides with the mob.

"I knew Paddy Doyle…" he says, "... saw the results of his mob dealings while he was at his peak, and I'm sorry to say you're just another one of his victims, someone who's been screwed over by the decisions he's made."

She covered her face with her hands, hiding from the respectable, honourable man she'd come to care for.

"You all hate me!" she choked.

"No, we don't… but you crossed a line yesterday. You sided with the mob over family… over blue collar family."

She opened her eyes, logic finally coming to the forefront of her mind as she began to understand the callousness she'd been dealing with from other officers.

"You may have had your reasons, he was your biological father, sure… but that doesn't change the fact that you trusted the untrustworthy … you chose to accept a version of truth given to you by a mobster, and your life is now fractured because of it." He sighs, staying only a few feet away. "I would've helped ya, you know? You could a come to me and I would've gone through his history with you… documented history leaving no doubt of who he was and who you could trust... Who you should've trusted."

She held herself, wrapping her arms about her.

"But you didn't…" he says, "... you sided with charisma and charm before using your smarts…" He taps his head. "... and that'll get ya every time."

They looked at each other openly with true circumstance shedding light on their predicament.

"Betrayal's a tricky thing, Maura. It's rarely one sided, and rarely without justification on some part, but it's a hell of a thing to be forgiven for or forgotten. You weren't the only one feelin' betrayed that day, and you gotta face the outcomes of your own actions too." He looks down briefly. "Janie, she's… well, let's just say three strikes and you're out, and you've had a hell of a lot more strikes than anyone's had opportunity to have with Jane. I just hope you can live with the consequences of that."

Again, the vagueness of terms confuse her. Tears of frustration, anger and hurt strangle her spirit. She manages to get away from the bullpen, taking refuge in the women's toilets, and she hides for several minutes until she can rebuild her shaken facade and go home.

Please review... Tj. :)