A/N: Yes i should probably hurry up and get my story chapter done but this wouldnt leave me alone. Also some of these might not be original but they have my little twist on them :D
A/N2: Taven is my OC for Doctor Who...she's a time lady...once i finish chapter 4 of her story i post the first few chapters for everyone. Please reveiw :D
Disclaimer: I dont own Doctor Who only Taven who is extreamly confused right now.
Things I am not allowed to do on the TARDIS
Rules below are to be followed, by everyone.
Rules below have been edited by the fallowing to ensure fairness and clarity: The Doctor, Jack, Taven, andThe Master
If it's bold it's a rule that the Master has help create. If it's normal then it's a rule the Doctor has created, if it's underlined Jack has help created it, it its in italics Taven has helped create it.
1. I am not allowed to use the TARDIS emergency break, unless there is an actual emergency.
-Wanting cheese cake is not an emergency
-Nor is wanting any kind of sweets
-But I really like Cheesecake.
-Doesn't matter.
2. I will not eat the Doctor's supply of Jelly Babies.
-It doesn't matter that he doesn't eat them anymore; I'm still not allowed to eat them.
-Damn.
3. I am not allowed to re-route my music through the TARDIS sound system.
-Especially if I intend to use it as an alarm clock.
-Not everyone appreciates waking up to Green Day.
-Neither Taven nor Captain Jack are "American idiots."
-No matter what the Doctor says.
-Even though they really are.
4. I am not allowed to wear my "Hug a Dalek" T-shirt.
-It gives the Doctor the creeps.
-It makes others worry about my sanity.
-What's left of it.
5. I am not allowed to keep Daleks as pets.
- No matter how much I love them?
-No.
-Please?
-Still no.
-Pretty please?
-Taven stop asking.
6. I am not allowed to ask Taven what she thinks of the Master.
- Especially not if we are actually facing the Master at the time.
-It makes her feel uncomfortable.
-She stops talking…never a good sign.
-Even if Jack is truly curious
-Especially if Jack is truly curious.
7. Taven has no power over the Master.
-Jack needs to stop asking.
-Her boobs do not have power over him either.
-Jack is going to get hit soon.
-very soon
8. I may not bet the Earth in a poker game with the Master
- Not even if I have beat him before
-But I have.
-Good guys aren't supposed to lie.
-Still no poker.
9. I may not play strip poker ever.
-But it's fun!
-Doesn't matter.
10. I may not get drunk.
-I may not attempt to get Taven drunk.
-She doesn't appreciate it.
-Only when you're trying freak.
-No one is allowed to get anyone drunk.
11. Taven is not allowed to sing…ever.
-why?
-Because the songs you sing give Jack and the Master ideas.
12. The Doctor is not allowed to dance.
-that's hardly fair.
-It gives Jack and the Master ideas.
-touché
13. Jack is not allowed on the internet.
-Why?
-This really doesn't need an explanation.
14. No sexual innuendos around Taven…she doesn't understand them.
-That's what makes it fun.
-No.
-What if I teach her?
15. Jack is not allowed to teach Taven about sexual innuendos…or anything else.
-Neither is the Master.
-At least she and I are the same species.
16. The Master is to stop bringing up the fact that he thinks the human race is inferior to him.
-Even though they are.
17. Taven is not allowed to cook.
-Why?
-Because the "Kiss the Cook" apron you wear is taken seriously by Jack.
18. The Master is not allowed to call Jack a freak.
-Why?
-It hurts his feelings.
-What is he a sissy?
19. The Master is not allowed to call Jack anything but his given name.
-Nor is he allowed to pay Taven to do it.
-Aw but I was splitting the profit with Jack.
-Still no.
20. I will not prostitute Jack out.
-Not even if I give you a discount?
-I do not want to sleep with Jack.
-Don't lie doc.
21. Taven will not share about her "feminine problems."
-It makes the men on bored uncomfortable.
-I was going to.
-good well don't.
22. Do no mention Lucy Saxon around Taven or the Doctor…they get weird looks in their eyes.
-I do not.
-nor do I
-Lies.
23. The Doctor and Taven are no longer allowed to watch any of the Harry Potter movies, because they start crying because the series has ended.
-I do not cry.
-Neither did I!
24. Taven is no longer allowed to go to a Harry Potter convention without the Doctor.
-But people mistake you for Barty Crouch Jr. when you're dressed as Harry then they give us funny looks!
-I don't care. You still have to take me with you.
-Fine but only if you buy me a chocolate frog.
-Deal.
25. Taven is not allowed to dress up for Halloween.
-What why?
-Because the outfits you find are less then appropriate.
-I disagree.
-Me to.
-Your right I'm not dressing up anymore.
26. The Doctor, Master, and Jack are to give Taven a day out, once a month, with Martha, Donna, and any other girl Taven wants to hang out with.
-Can I come?
-Jack is not allowed to go with Taven.
-Like it truly matters we don't know what day it is half the time anyways.
27. No Rocky Horror Picture Show since the last time when Jack thought he would look good as Magenta.
-…I had nightmares for weeks.
-When Taven has nightmares she is unable to control her mental barrier which means no one gets sleep.'
-I got to sleep.
-Your not a time lord.
28. Jack is no longer allowed to dress up anymore.
29. Taven and Jack are not to try and prank one another anymore.
-Because I totally won.
-Did not!
30. No more bored games.
-Why?
-Because monopoly is no longer innocent.
31. The Master, Jack and Taven are not allowed to watch horror movies together. It gives the Master ideas for torture, Jack gets sexual ideas from the teenagers in them, and Taven gets freaked out if there paranormal thrillers…so much so that the Doctor had to check in her closet and under her bed for two weeks strait.
-Oh c'mon it was three days only!
-What exactly is your definition of a day?
32. Jack is to stop scaring Taven by jumping out of closets.
-It was a little funny.
-You travel the universe and time but you're scared of him?
-Shut up… it was dark and I was just going to get something to snack on.
33. No more midnight snacks…because apparently no one knows how to clean up a kitchen after they get done creating whatever the hell; marshmallows, peanut butter, chocolate syrup, whip cream, and maple syrup make.
-Sorry doc.
-What does it create?
-She doesn't need to know!
34. Jack is to stop going through Taven's closet.
-And her dresser.
-Ditto for the Doctor.
-And the Master.
35. The Master should be allowed one day a month to be evil in whatever way he chooses.
-Except trying to take over the world.
-And stealing my cookies.
-And killing me.
-You three take the fun out of everything.
36. Disney movies are no longer allowed since Jack showed everyone a very wrong version of Snow white.
-I will never look at Disney movies the same way again.
-Your welcome.
37. No one is allowed to comment on the Master's fashion sense.
-Or the Doctor's.
-Or Taven's.
38. Jack is band from asking personal questions.
39. Taven is banned from trying to kill Lucy.
-But she said the pumpkin pie I made sucked!
-She's human and we do not kill humans.
-I don't know doc I think you should let them fight it out.
-I agree.
40. Jack is not to go to a any kind of comic con with Taven just to hit on the people who are half dressed there.
-Oh one time.
-Actually it was seven.
-Jack can however go if the Doctor goes to keep an eye on him.
41. Jack is to stop commenting on the fact that the Master likes it when the Doctor uses his name.
42. "That's what she said!" jokes are now banned.
-as well as: "That's what he said."
43. Taven is not allowed to teach grade school children…because she doesn't know what material is appropriate for five year olds.
-Likewise for Jack who doesn't seem to realize that sex-ed isn't taught till middle school.
-The Master doesn't like children so there is no worry in him teaching them…killing on the other hand.
44. The Master is not allowed to kill children.
45. Jack is to check a woman/man's age before having relations with him or her.
-She said she was 18.
-When's the trial?
-That's not funny Master.
-It is a little.
46. The Master, Taven, and Jack are not judges on what's funny and what's not.
-The Doctor is though.
47. No one but the Master is allowed a theme song.
-Aw not fair! I had dibs on: "Don't Cha" By pussycat dolls.
-And I had dibs on "Milkshake" By Kelis.
-…do you even know what that song means?
-Drinks that are really good.
-Let's go with that.
48. Taven is no longer allowed to listen to music that she does not know the meaning to.
-It really does mean a drink!
-right…sure it does.
-No one is to tell Taven the true meaning of those songs if she does…it's to fun to watch her dance around.
49. Jack isn't allowed to make milkshakes to see if they bring boys to the yard.
50. Taven is not allowed to take dance lessons from: The Master or Jack.
-You just want her to yourself.
-I don't understand I just wanted to learn how to do the electric slide.
A/N3: Oh and if anyone plans to make a hug a Dalek t-shirt please tell me first because i thought of it!