Summary: When Jerome finally musters up the courage to write a letter to his parents, he writes everything. Nothing in his life is left out. Everything was fine until the letter somehow found its way to Mara who read up everything. Now she knows everything, how will she act around him? A semi-songfic to Shindown's song,' Second Chance'
Whaddup guys? Here's another fanfic for y'all… I hope you enjoy and as always R&R… ENJOY…
(As always I don't own the show because then I would make this happen and I do not own Shinedown's song Second Chance but you can check it out here:
.com/watch?v=H25ORRgLxdA)
~0o0o0o0~
Chapter One: Letters and Angels
(3rd person)
The night was unnervingly cool. The light of the moon though, wasn't the only thing that was keeping Jerome up. He looked up at his ceiling and just lay on his bed caught in thoughts. The only sound throughout the room was the sound of the clock on the wall.
My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
The day had been rough on him. With everything happening with Sibuna and Rufus his guard was set on high, and any slight thing put him on edge. He swore to himself that one of these days, he would drop off from all the stress and it would all be over, then he would never have to deal with any of this ever again.
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today
Besides everything that was that was happening with the mystery, everything was peaceful. His new hobby was to watch the world outside and imagine that what his childhood would have been like if he had been loved.
He couldn't bring himself to let himself slip into his vivid fantasies today because he realized everything was futile. His parents didn't, no, they would never love him.
Instead he thought of ways to slip off this earth.
The thoughts that ran through his head afterwards were the most depressing he had ever had, and the thoughts of them made him chuckle.
He may look the part of the loveable prankster, but it was just his shell that he used to block everyone out. Honestly, no one knew anything about him and the only person he would be willing tell happened to never show interest.
Why did Mara have to be so deluded? He thought.
Suddenly restless, he strolled over to the window to observe the stars. They were so incredibly breath-taking, he wondered what it would be like to be a star, to have everyone look up to you.
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said, "Why you always running in place?"
He wondered if they secretly scorned people like him, asking, why don't you move on? Your problems are so small… come join us.
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere
Maybe, he thought, he could disappear, and never have to come back, just fade away…
Yes, he thought, he wanted to fade away, never have to deal with life anymore. The thought filled him with sheer ecstasy.
He went over to his dresser and put on some warmer clothes and grabbed paper and a pen and left the house.
The cold air embraced him and he reminded himself that he could join the sky, the wind, and the stars after he had written the letter.
Sitting on a log, he thought of all the pain he experienced through the years: oppression, depression, at one point, he even started cutting himself but quickly had to stop via intervention from Mara.
He revisited that moment; she had cared about him so much…
Now she didn't care what he did, she only cared about Mick…
Jerome reminded himself the reason why he was here and looked at the paper willing his hand to write.
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance
Dear Mother,
He figured this was a good start; it was impersonal and reflected their relationship.
I am writing this letter because…
He had no real reason for writing the letter…
Sighing, he let down the defenses and let the emotions come flooding back.
… I want you to know what pain you've caused me. You think of me as the disappointment of the family and I guess because of that, I grew up thinking that. Every morning, I look at myself in the mirror and just wonder what I did. I am no different from any other kid and yet every time I look at the mirror, I can't help feel an empty void. I never had your support. I guess it doesn't matter now. I've already made the decision to kill myself. I figure if I'm never going to be loved, I may as well save myself the pain of adulthood. Sometimes I like to wonder if you did all of this on purpose; if I'm just an experiment. I'm sure you haven't even received half the letters of concern from the headmaster. I skip class, I smoke, I sometimes do drugs, but nothing helps fill the void. I am tired of being unloved and having to keep walls up all the time to stop people from knowing anything about me. I'm tired of all the secrets. And here's one that you've probably figured out by now form reading the letter: I hate you. I don't. I love you and dad, and sometimes I honestly think out scenarios in my head of family dinners that we might have had as a family. I'm sorry for always being an inconvenience on your life. And one last thing: I forgive you for everything. I forgive dad for belting me as a child and I forgive you mom for criticizing me as a kid. I hope you guys live a happy life. I'll be watching from heaven…
Forever yours,
Jerome
Writing all that felt like a relief for Jerome. He didn't feel surprised to see he was breaking down. Tears struck the page but he didn't care.
Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today
He actually wondered if his parents would react. Maybe his mom would cry at the funeral, maybe his dad would look down feeling both regret and guilt.
Now he just had to mail it to his parents and he could end all this.
And just like that, he found himself smiling.
"It'll all be over soon." He whispered to himself.
And with that, he picked himself up and left.
I just saw Hayley's comet Tell my mother, Here's my chance Tell my mother, Sometimes goodbye
She waved
Said, "Why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance
This is my chance
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance
Is a second chance
~0o0o0o0~
*The next day*
(Mara POV)
(A/N I know Mara seems a bit OOC here but stay with me)
Ugh, a Sunday. I know what you're thinking. It's the weekend? What's to be mad at?
Its chore day and I have to do the dishes and bring the mail to the drop box. I don't even know why everyone else can't drop off their own mail.
I mean, I have to finish my advanced calculus homework AND have to tie some loose ends for school rep.
No, I reminded myself, you have to be a model school student.
With my dignity somewhat restored, I walked to the various bedrooms to get the mail over with. I'd rather do it before breakfast so that I could get a head start on the homework.
Nina had two letters for me to deliver, a birthday card to 'Sharon' and a letter for her grandmother, while Amber had a letter for her father concerning the fact that her credit card wasn't working.
Patricia didn't have anything and neither did I so I walked to the boys rooms. Mick wanted me to deliver a letter for his dad. I actually thought my job was done then and there, but out of obligation I checked Alfie and Jerome's room. They weren't there but I walked in anyway.
I checked Alfie's area and there was nothing but there was a letter on the desk to… Jerome's parents?
Not once had he even bothered to send anything to his parents for the last year, what was he doing now?
Curious, I grabbed the letter and walked out of the room. It wasn't sealed so I walked into a bathroom and locked the door. I felt sick to my stomach betraying his privacy but I had a right to know, him being my friend and all.
I carefully pulled the letter out and was shocked. I hadn't even read it yet but I could definitely distinguish tear marks.
As far as I knew, Jerome never cried, but here his letter was, tear marks and all.
Now I definitely wanted to read this.
I froze once I got to,' I've made the decision to kill myself.'
But Jerome always appeared so happy! Why?
The more I read, the more I felt some sense of dread wrap around me. He had to be stopped, or he would actually go through with it.
The thought of it was crushing: I couldn't live without Jerome…
A tear rolled down my cheek followed by sobs.
Everything depended on me now. Everything would be my fault if I didn't.
Breathe, I told myself, breathe.
Carefully sliding the paper back into the envelope, I kept it on me. I knew I couldn't just outright tell him. He might go ballistic.
I had to think of another way to stop him.
Make him see that life has so much more to offer.
Suddenly a thought struck me…
I was meant to find the letter, I was meant to help him.
I am his guardian angel.
Here's my chance
This is my chance…
~0o0o0o0~
Hey y'all? Whaddya think? Huh? I really love this story idea… I know there is no Jara now but it'll get better… I really encourage you guys to listen to the song while reading this… I cried because you know I am a teenage man-baby… and for the guardian angel part? Not literally… it's a metaphor…
GET THAT IN YOUR MINDS PEOPLE!
Eskimo kisses,
z3stygurl97