Authors Note: School isn't resuming for another week because of the weather. It was supposed to resume today, but according to the news nope. I'm going to try to update as much as I can with all my stories because of this delay. Heard Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood and this came to me. This song makes me cry every time. This first part was really hard to write and DISCLAIMER: I do not own this song. Read and review please!
BBree23*
Playlist:
Just a Dream (obviously) by Carrie Underwood
Never Let Me Go by Florence and the Machine
Breathe by Taylor Swift
Quote:
"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. "
- Author Unknown
Prologue: Just A Dream
The car jerked to a halt, they had arrived. Eighteen year old Katniss Everdeen stepped out, trying to avoid the cameras, trying to hide the tears. Haymitch Abernathy followed behind, keeping his head down, one arm rested protectively over Katniss, who appeared as though she would break down any minute. Rain came pouring down, the sky a dark shade of gray. Not a single glimpse of the sun, not the tinniest bit of light shone. She held a hand-carved box, full of letters he had written from the Capitol, telling of his progress, his life, even his love for her.
Each letter made her heart beat faster when she read them. It was as if she still had a piece of him with her. The thought made her want to cry. She would no longer feel his arms around her, the touch of his lips, his smile that could make her forget nearly everything bad that had happened in just the past two years of her life.
She had taken him for granted, never thinking that one day, he could leave her. That one day she would have to face the nightmares alone. And now, worse had come to worse.
Peeta Mellark was dead.
It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white, goin' to the church that night,
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat,
Six pence in a shoe, somethin' borrowed, somethin' blue
She gripped the flowers tightly, thinking of when he picked some for her when they were coming home. From the first games, coming back from District 12. It was then that she confessed that her love was some sort of an act. Throughout that period, her feelings for him ranged from anger to passion, sorrow to love. Katniss could never describe their relationship, the way he made her feel.
She returned to District 12 after the war, only this time, he was not by her side. They kept in touch, phone, letters. It was not the same as having him there, but she knew they would be reunited soon. It was that thought that kept her going through the horrible therapy sessions, fight through the raging nightmares that would never leave.
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put the veil down, tryin' to hide the tears
Oh, she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell right out of her hands
They fell to the floor, the impact made no sound, but it was as if Katniss had been stabbed in her heart. The rain washed them away, the colors looking awkward in the gray cement. She could hold it no longer, she fell to the floor, and did something she had never done before.
She wept.
Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
Memories flashed, images racing through her mind. Every replay made her cry harder. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to let him go. Because once she let go of him, she let go a part of herself, the part that wasn't broken. After the death of her sister, the loss of nearly everyone she loved, Katniss Everdeen had been damaged severely. It was Peeta, and it would always be him, that could make her feel whole again.
It's like I'm looking' from the distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin' he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me,
This is just a dream
Haymitch pulled her up, his expression grim. He did not know how much pain she was in, how long it would take her to move past this. He only knew this would affect them both greatly, that boy had made a great change in their lives. After his Games, the Capitol killed everyone he loved. He felt as though nobody could ever care for him again, that he would always be like this. A person nobody wanted.
Peeta Mellark had proved him wrong.
The preacher man said, "Let's bow our heads and pray"
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang
The saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
and she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could've been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
She couldn't take it, she couldn't handle this. And with that, Katniss Everdeen ran out of the church and into the pouring rain. Her mother saw this, already planning to follow her. But Haymitch held her back.
"She needs to be alone right now," he told her, his voice cracked.
Mrs. Everdeen nodded, tears forming in her eyes. She hated to see her daughter like that, so hurt, so depressed. Prim's death had affected her greatly, but this boy's death... It was uncalled for. And just after a few months of recovery, they had received the news. And now, she was well on the verge of losing both her children.
Baby, why'd you leave me? Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
She sat on the soft ground, her dress now covered with mud. Katniss was holding herself together, her head in her hands. This can't be real, she told herself, this has to be a dream. But how much longer would it last? She had already been asleep to long. She would not let reality settle, knowing that as soon as she realized it, her life was over. The one boy she'd come to love was dead, their future shattered. What did you do when everyone you loved was gone? Could you feel any emotions, experience life if you lost your reason for living?
It's like I'm looking' from the distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin' he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me,
This is just a dream
Her pulse quickened, her breath was becoming shallow. She felt as if she was in dark water, a huge weight pulling her down. How could she ever reach the surface? Peeta was the one person who could pull her up, save her from drowning. But now... there was no other option. She would sink until she hit the bottom.
Ooh baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, I'll never know
She laid down, tears still rushing down her face. There was nothing in her life now. Nothing.
It's like I'm looking' from the distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin' he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me,
This is just a dream
"He's dead," she whispered, "he's dead."
Oh, this is just a dream
It's just a dream, yeah, yeah
Authors Note: What'd you think? Should I continue with this?
BBree23*