There were many things the Riddler knew. For example, he was a genius. He loved riddles, and confusing people. He understood quantum physics, and could easily do multivariable calculus and linear algebra. He loved the English language, and could quote many passages in literature that he memorized, just because he could. He even wrote some poetry that, in his opinion, was quite good. He had published some of it under different aliases, and still received some royalties.

He was also a bit of an attention whore. He loved showing people how superior he was compared to them. He loved being one step ahead of everyone else, and rubbing it in. He was, all in all, the typical eccentric genius.

There was only one man who had ever been one step ahead of him. One person who had out maneuvered him, outwitted him, out smarted him. That man, was Batman.

He had yet to figure out who Batman was, but he was determined. There was something about Batman, something so mysterious, and so… attractive, that the Riddler was obsessed. He wanted Batman, he wanted to possess, he wanted everything that was Batman.

His fascination for Batman ran deeper than an obsession. He thought about him all the time. He planned and plotted Batman's downfall, where he, the Riddler, one up'd Batman, where he commanded him. He could taste victory on his tongue, and it tasted oh so sweet.

So he devised a plan. It was a perfect plan. His teaming with Two-Face was to give him the resources to carry out his scheme. Now all he needed was for Batman to fall into his hands. The wait would be well worth it.

The Riddler almost giggled in glee when Two-Face informed him that Batman and Robin were on their way. He only let himself flash a grin to Two-Face. Batman and Robin had already infiltrated their base, hoping to save some blonde woman, that had no importance to the Riddler, but he was sure was worth something to Batman. Two-Face hurried out of the room in anticipation of finding, and capturing Robin.

The Riddler stashed himself away, silently watching the moves of both Batman and Robin on security cameras he had installed without Two-Face knowing. He had left riddles in places he knew Batman would see, giving him clues to where he was hiding. He licked his lips in anticipation: he could almost feel the calculating going on in Batman's mind, and he was becoming more and more excited.

He glanced over at another monitor. Two-Face and Robin were battling it out. It didn't look good for Two-Face. No matter, even if Two-Face failed, the Riddler had a backup plan. Nothing was going to interrupt him and Batman. He grimaced slightly as Two-Face lost the battle. Robin had managed to knock him out, and was taking the high road instead of killing him: He was tying him up. A pity.

The Riddler glanced over again to Batman. He was getting close, but the Riddler still had enough time. Robin was so close to his trap- There! The Riddler pressed a green button, and the floor opened up underneath Robin. He fell and the floor sealed back up, effectively trapping Robin in a cell, close to the blonde woman's enclosure. Perfect.

Now the RIddler was ready for Batman. He grinned. Nothing would get in his way. As if on cue, Batman burst into the room.

"Well well, isn't this a pleasant surprise! Look at the bat that just dropped in!" The Riddler exclaimed, excited. He could feel his heart racing in anticipation.

"Where is she?" Batman asked, nonchalant. "No more games."

"But Brucey, I live on games! Riddle me this, what's Blonde and Brunette, and in a cage?" The Riddler asked gleefully. Batman stiffed, and slid into a fighting stance. "Why don't I make this easy on you? What is big and dark, and able to save a yellow and brown bird by submitting himself to the green beast?" Batman rushed forward, fists raised, but the Riddler was ready. He nimbly blocked Batman with his staff. "Oh dear, It really shouldn't be hard to understand for someone like yourself. Should I give you another hint?" The Riddler dodged another hit, and slipped up to Batman, and crashed his lips onto the other. He quickly slid away before Batman could react. "We could do this the easy way, or the hard way. Which way would you like to go, Brucey? I'm the only one who can let those two go without harming them in any way. And if you're not quick with your decision, they might run out of air! Oh dear, what are you to do?"

The Riddler suppressed a smirk as he saw Batman's eyes calculating. He did smirk when he saw Batman dropping his arms.

"Fine, we'll play your way, Riddler." He looked uncomfortable, but it really was the only way to save Robin and Dr. Chase.

"Then you'll play by my rules!" The Riddler squealed out, and was behind batman in an instant, handcuffing his hands behind his back. The Riddler tied rope around his hands as well: just for good measure. One could never be too safe. He grinned, and pushed Batman into a room he had specially prepared for this.

Batman had no choice but to walk foreword. "Release them." He said calmly. He wasn't going to do this and then have the Riddler do what he promised.

"Don't trust me Brucey?" The Riddler breathed in his ear. Batman tried to suppress a shudder. "I wouldn't either. Here-" The Riddler turned Batman to the screens and walked him foreword. When they reached the desk, the Riddler reached around Batman's waist, and typed the coded command to open the cell doors. "There, they can go whenever they decide to wake up. Now we have some business to attend to." He smirked, and pushed up against Batman lightly, showing him exactly what he meant. The Riddler then tugged on Batman's handcuffed hands, pulling him into the other room. After he had pushed Batman inside, the Riddler locked the door with a smirk on his face. He had about an hour before the sleeping gas he had drugged his captives with wore off, and he planned to make good use of the time.

Uh, I realize this is something I don't normally do. It's a crack pairing in my eyes, and I wrote it kind of as a joke for a friend. I hardly know anything about the Batman universe outside of Batman Forever, so forgive me if I'm off on any characters. If anyone wants a sex scene, I might be persuaded to make it. So leave a comment or a review!