~Sonsal~

His arms are folded and he is glaring at me, but at this point I shouldn't be surprised. How many times have we been at this standstill? Too many times to count. Despite the fact that I should be used to it, I'm still annoyed by his scowl. The glare I'm receiving is the coldest one he has ever given, and it sends shivers up and down my spine, but I know that I have to hold my ground. He folds his arms, the aura of his smugness still present in his fury.

"Can't you relax just for once?"

He should know by now that that of all things is not possible. I can't afford the luxury of "relaxing," and even if I could, why would I use it? I have a duty to attend to. The right question, perhaps, is how could I even use it? Being who I am, I'd probably utilize the time worrying about my kingdom, as such is my nature. Those actions are purely instinct, but the consequences are beyond me. I cannot control who I become or who I am. I can only direct it, however little power that means that I hold.

"Of course you can! If you can lead your kingdom, can't you control your own destiny?"

It's like he knows nothing. I doubt that he'll ever understand what it means to hold the burden that I am forced to carry. The very reason that I cannot control my destiny is because it is directly intertwined with my people. If I make a mistake, I am hated and despised and the kingdom falls. There are no chances for me to make those petty mistakes and "learn" from my actions. I simply have to move ahead. No matter what, I can't fail in my duties. If I do, my kingdom will crumble.

"Your people wouldn't hate you if you made a mistake! They're not that cruel."

When will he learn? Whether he realizes it or not, people are cruel, even if he has never received any hurtful words. I have witnessed firsthand what it is like to be the receiver of sharp criticism, and I know exactly how it feels to become accustomed to it. The numbness that is accepted through it is the only answer. There is no other way to make it through life. Any other path is either too crowded or unwelcome to new comers, so to go it alone seems like the best choice.

"That's no way to live."

Despite trying to block it out, his words hurt. I know very well that living is not about going at it alone, but when someone is so accustomed to that, what other way is there to do it? There have always been friends by my side, but in the time that he was gone, something changed. Their words no longer comforted me when I was sad. Loneliness was an understatement to what I felt. Even now, it is hard to accept their comfort.

"You can change that, can't you?"

I already told him, darn it! When is he going to accept the fact that I simply cannot be as free as he is? From the day that I met him, I acknowledged the idea of never being able to keep up with him. He is a free spirit, and no matter what, I will never be able to be as "free" as he is. Why then, does he push me so hard to keep up with him? Is it because he wants me to stumble on my path to what he calls "accomplishment?"

"What if I want you to be happy?"

Happiness? Happiness? Does he really mean happy, or does he mean lazy, like he is? The bandages wrapped around my arm feel as if they cut off my circulation as I clench my fists. The difference between the two of us is that he doesn't care about the matters concerning others. As long as he is allowed to have "fun" and he isn't disturbed, he enjoys his life. I on the other hand, have to work to even feel the slightest bit of joy. And sometimes it doesn't matter how much I try, I still can't—

"So you're accusing me now?"

The pointed finger sends a jolt of pain through my heart and I pause—freeze—in place. No, that wasn't what I meant at all! Accusing him was the last thing I was trying to do! I wasn't meaning to, I wasn't saying that it was, I can't—and it hits me all at once. Sick of being alone, tired of feeling like the world is on my shoulders, and ready to collapse, I fall to my knees and let the tears loose. I am ready to lose it at this point.

How pathetic I must be, to cry in front of him like this. Although it isn't the first time it has happened, I silently wish that it is the last. When will he leave? It would be better if he never came back. Whenever he is with me, he is not himself. He does not enjoy things like he usually does because he worries about me. I do not deserve his sympathy. He embodies freedom and liberty; I embody limitation and restraint. I would know for a fact that he would be better off without me.

Just when I'm sure that he's going to leave, two arms wrap around me, leaving my heart to skip a beat. Given the circumstance, parting would have been his best choice at that moment. He could have been free from me and my "nagging," but instead he comforts me in my time of need. There are no words that come to mind as the shock pulses through my blood.

"Sal, stop being so hard on yourself. You deserve happiness as much as I do."

Disbelief is the understatement of what fills me as he hugs me. There were so many possibilities in what could have happened, but out of all the options, he chose to stay. Why? Doesn't he hate being tied down? Wouldn't he prefer to be free? There are still tears flowing from my eyes as my heartbeat settles and I return his embrace. For the first time in my life, I begin to understand as I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

He doesn't ignore the sadness, he embraces it. Unlike me, he has learned to dance in the rain, no matter how loud the thunder. Freedom isn't decided by what binds you, whether it is a title or actual physical chains; but by what you chose to be. It is within the heart that one becomes "free." For years he has decided that he is free, and at that moment, I decide the same. I want to run without worrying what I'm going to do, or having to think about how much work I need to finish. Freedom is what I want to find, and he's going to lead me there.

Finally finished this! What do you guys think? Did you like it?

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