AN: Apologies about the delay in fics- I hope to upload several more this week. This one takes place between 3.5 and 3.9. Reviews would be lovely!

The rumors started on Tuesday, were embellished on Wednesday, and confirmed on Thursday: Tessa Davis, the wannabe-popular girl freshman who lived in the largest house in Mystic Falls (much to the irritation of Mrs. Lockwood and some of the other founding families), was going to be home alone that weekend thanks to her parents going to LA for the weekend; Tessa, like any normal Mystic Falls teenager who didn't have supernatural drama coming out of her ears was throwing a massive party. The party itself was not the reason for excitement, but the fact that it would be at Tessa's house, with its elaborate pool and her parents' most excellent, eclectic alcohol collection definitely pointed to it having the potential to be one of the more successful parties of the year. Anytime the guys didn't have to haul cartons of beer out into the middle of the woods was a good thing.

Elena wasn't all that surprised when Caroline opted out, saying she and Taylor were going to stay in and watch movies. Caroline was trying to keep Tyler normal and steady, trying to help him adjust to being a were-vamp. Werepire? They still hadn't come up with a name yet. Elena was actually envious- more than anything she wanted to curl up next to Stefan and watch some silly movie, tease him and kiss him, cry on his shoulder if the movie was a tear-jerker. Maybe in another universe, one where Klaus was dead, Stefan and Elena were ditching school to watch a movie and make-out; if such a reality existed, Elena dearly wanted to visit it.

"You going to the party?" a familiar voice asked her.

"Wasn't planning on it," she replied and Stefan frowned.

"Now, why would you want to miss out on one of the biggest parties of the year? I hear Tessa even booked a band!" he grinned.

"Glad to see your sarcasm hasn't left you," Elena started to walk away. Even if his emotions had...

Stefan caught up with her, tugged on her arm. "Want to go with me?"

"Not really."

"Oh come on, spare me the trouble of having to compel someone," Stefan complained. "Although that would save me the whole dinner issue..."

"Why do you even want to go?" Elena snapped.

"What's a Friday night without a party?" Stefan smirked. Elena resisted the urge to hit him.

Against every rational bone in her body, Elena decided to go to the party with Stefan. For one thing, that would leave the house free for Jeremy and Bonnie to talk or however they were going to attempt to work things out- hopefully it would be an Anna-free evening. For another, if she went with Stefan maybe he wouldn't feel like he had to kill or drink from someone.

Stefan arrived with flowers and Elena didn't bother to hide her surprise. "What, just because I'm incapable of feeling anything you think I would forget my manners?"

"Too bad there's not a don't kill people clause in manners," Elena muttered, but she carefully put the flowers in a vase. For a long moment she stared at them, remembering al the little things Stefan used to do, silly romantic things- a flower on her pillow, a sweet text message, a night out at a fancy restaurant just to get out of town.

She missed him.

During the short car ride they didn't talk or touch; what would have once been companionable silence was now only bitterly uncomfortable, Stefan as unreachable from Elena as if he was somewhere else entirely. She almost thought she preferred it when he had been away, because right now, the man driving the car is the farthest away from Stefan she's ever been. Yet with not knowing where he was came all the constant worries about where he was, how he was, if he was eating enough, what he was eating. Not that knowing the latter helped her, especially now.

"By the way," Stefan commented as they walked to the front door. By the sound of things the party was already in full swing. "Have I mentioned how great you look tonight?"

His eyes raked over her body. So the dress was short and tight, just because Elena really didn't want to be at this party didn't mean she had to look bad.

"I've always loved your legs," Stefan whispered into her ear, his hand skimming her sides. "They look so... tasty."

Elena the human blood-bag. She brushed away from him, heading straight for the drinks.

Despite the multiple drinks, Elena still found herself keeping an eye on Stefan, watching him from across a room, locking eyes with him from a distance, even getting jealous when when he leaned in to talk to some random girl. Jealous, not afraid that he'd kill the girl. Apparently the potent mixture of scotch, vodka, and beer had taken away her motor-skills, sensibilities, and brain cells.

Elena found herself tire of the increasingly senseless comments and blurry people, and wandered upstairs, following the series of black and white photographs- someone in the house had a serious love of horses. Upstairs it was darker, quieter, the blaring music not as loud and Elena could hear noises from behind closed doors, the sounds of couples who didn't consist of a Ripper and a human blood-bag. Sighing, she drained the bottle of beer and found a dark, unoccupied room, one where she could settle for a few minutes and escape the noisy crowd for at least a little while.

"Aren't you the social one?" Stefan's voice was low and pleasant and Elena lazily turned to look at him. He sauntered over, sat next to her on the bed. "Can't imagine why we didn't go to more of these."

"We went to some parties," Elena recalled. "Some dances even- not that you were overly enthusiastic about those."

She smiled, remembering Stefan's protests against dancing that went away when he held her on the dance floor.

"Ah yes, Mystic Falls dances, come for a dance, stay for a death," Stefan commented. "Must have been why we stayed in so often."

"Maybe we just enjoyed being alone together," Elena shot back, knowing she should probably, definitely ignore him.

Sure enough, Stefan chuckled unpleasantly. "I don't remember fucking you being that enjoyable."

Elena rolled her eyes and stood up too quickly, the room temporarily spinning before she could stomp to the door; at the doorway, she ended up pausing and closed the door rather than storming away.

"Can you really not feel anything?" she quietly asked, holding onto the door for support. "I know Klaus ordered you to switch off your emotions, but can you feel anything, Stefan?"

Elena turned towards Stefan and was surprised by the look on his face. He looked thoughtful, like he was actually contemplating the question, maybe even taking it seriously and not just for show.

"Anger's still there," Stefan replied eventually. Elena slowly, shakily moved towards him, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. "It's easy for me to become angry about little things, like someone's blood not tasting right or someone trying to attack me with vervain. But it goes away pretty quickly- I can quit caring about, well, about pretty much everything now. No more brooding."

He smiled at that. "I mean, come on Elena, you have to admit that's something."

Elena ignored that remark. "What about fear?"

"None."

"Pain."

"I can feel physical pain, but emotional? Nope, doesn't exist."

"Sadness?"

"You have to ask?"

"Pleasure?"

Stefan hesitated and Elena persisted, "What, you don't even feel happy about drinking blood anymore? You don't even get an ounce of pleasure from torturing people, torturing me?"

"Honestly, Elena, I can't say I spend much time thinking about you at all."

"Bullshit."

Elena slowly traced Stefan's jaw, her fingers lightly moving about the face of the man she loved, the mask the monster beneath wore carelessly. She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and grabbed his shoulders, moving closer to him. Ever so slowly she began kissing his neck, nipping at the skin and quickly soothing it with her tongue, her hands rubbing his shoulders, her breath soft and warm against his skin.

"Can you feel that?" she whispered, her hand sliding down his body.

"No," Stefan got out. He definitely did not sound convincing.

"Really," Elena kissed his ear, reached for his belt. "Nothing."

"No," Stefan whispered.

Elena slapped him, her hand hitting his cheek before Stefan could stop her, though the moment her hand connected with his skin he grabbed her wrist sharply. "Don't lie to me," Elena hissed. "Stefan-,"

Suddenly his lips were on hers and Elena's back slammed against the mattress as Stefan threw her against the bed, his knees driving her legs apart. The kisses were intense and deep, and Elena could barely catch her breath between the end of one and the beginning of another. She grabbed his belt, quickly undoing it and Stefan yanked her underwear down, his hand squeezing her ass and not bothering with pulling off her dress; Elena gasped as he entered her, his lips moving to attack her neck, his fingers making her moan even louder, yank on his hair and plead for more.

It wasn't like before. True, it was passionate and satisfying, but it wasn't the same and yet Elena felt like she couldn't get enough. She kissed him greedily and grabbed his ass, pushing him deeper inside her, arched her back even more so she could feel more of him. Stefan did the same, pulling her legs even farther apart, pushing her dress down so he could kiss her breasts.

They finally came together, crying each other's names; for a long time afterwards Stefan lay on top of Elena, his body still shuddering against hers, his face hidden in her shoulder, and Elena didn't try to move from underneath him, instead stroking his back and running her hand through his hair. Still breathing heavily. still trying to catch her breath, Elena closed her eyes, knowing she hadn't imagined the look on Stefan's face, the look in his eyes when he yelled her name.

"Did you feel that," she murmured and though Stefan didn't say anthing they both knew what the answer was. Stefan gripped her thigh, his thumb rubbing slow circles against her leg and he re-nestled his head against her neck. He didn't want to move- as long as they stayed on the bed, everything was steady and safe; he could just stay against Elena and not think about anything but the softness of her skin, the warmth of her breath.

But there was the sound of her blood too, and being so close to her was incredibly tempting. Twice he'd almost bitten her, but somehow he hadn't and Stefan couldn't begin to explain why; he knew how good her blood tasted, he knew how much he wanted her blood, but something had stopped him.

He stroked the scar on her neck. "Does it hurt?" he asked tentatively, his voice muffled against her neck.

"It hurts to look at it," Elena told him and Stefan's fingers became even gentler as they traced the scar.

Elena's dress, it turned out, had been ripped along both the top and bottom and Stefan offered her his jacket. They made their way slowly downstairs, Elena leaning against Stefan and seriously regretting those last few drinks because the sound of a door closing made her head ache and it would only get worse. Yet the night hadn't been a complete failure.

"Thanks," she said wearily as Stefan walked her to her front door. "It was... it was an interesting night."

"Interesting way of putting it," Stefan grimaced, leaning against the door. They looked at each other awkwardly, eyes connecting briefly and quickly flickering away, too scared to say anything, too shy to speak. Almost automatically they both leaned in, their lips almost touching before Elena somehow came to her senses, remembering what Stefan was, where they were.

"Goodnight," Elena mumbled and went inside, leaning against the door and breathing heavily. She didn't want it to be like this- Stefan had called her a human blood-bag and obviously didn't care about her, so what the hell was she doing going to random parties with him and fucking him? But the look in his eyes... Elena shook her head and instantly regretted that movement. It made everything turn upside down and she stumbled up to her bedroom.

It was late afternoon by the time Elena got to the Salvatore house the next day, confused and hungover and not in the best of moods. Damon had left several alarming messages- although that wasn't anything new, really; she had Stefan's jacket folded over her arm.

It turned out Bonnie and Alaric were there too, that it was another mini-council meeting about killing Klaus and getting Stefan back. Not one of their more satisfactory meetings either- Bonnie and Damon kept sniping at each other, and they still couldn't come up with a feasible plan for getting rid of Klaus.

During a break Elena went upstairs to Stefan's room, supposedly to return the jacket but really to snoop, and found Stefan sprawled on his bed.

"Hi," she said, cursing her nervous voice.

He smirked in return.

"Here's your jacket," she said needlessly, putting the garment on his desk. She leaned against the doorway, arms folded, trying to look controlled and calm. "How are you?"

Stefan languidly got up and strolled over to her. "I had a great time last night," he murmured, brushing her hair off her face. "Well, not really, but it was... interesting."

She felt her jaw clench and her posture became stiff. "I found it interesting too. You keep saying you don't feel anything, you don't care about anything- then why keep saving Damon? You obviously still care about him."

Stefan's eyes darkened and he seemed dangerously close to her. Slowly his lips ran across her hair and then he kissed her, coaxing her lips open and running his tongue over her teeth before playfully engaging with hers. The room was quiet except for their kisses, long and loud and slow, Elena arching her back, Stefan holding her face.

Suddenly the kiss ended, their lips just a fraction apart, their eyes locked and for a long moment they simply stared at each other, trying to read each other.

Stefan let go of her and backed away. "I didn't feel anything," he said, his voice rough and low. "Not a thing."

Elena stared at him, her face still and flushed. Stefan tried to laugh. "Last night? That was nice, I guess, but it meant nothing. You mean nothing. I wouldn't even care about you except for Klaus' compulsion, I have to be around you- it's certainly not that I want to be. Your blood is the only thing I care about."

His words hurt but Elena kept her cool. "That almost sounds convincing."

She turned to leave, barely getting out the door before turning back. "There's only one thing wrong with that, Stefan. You could have bitten me last night. You didn't."

The smirk on his face seemed fake and she walked away, a small smile on her face.