I'm afraid I am being held hostage by raging fluff bunnies who are forcing me to write at carrot point. Aaaargh!

Okay – I promise it really did start as a one-shot – and it's grown, and grown and grown. This, very long, one chapter story, continues from Closet Space – the continuing saga of Jack and Sam. It's quite a bit more angsty than the previous two – but definitely becomes fluffy in the end. (Not mine)

He'd blown it. He'd known, right from the beginning, that there was a good chance he'd do something really stupid and destroy what they had together. He was lousy at relationships, which is one of the reasons he hadn't tried to convince Sara to take him back, and also why he hadn't told Sam how he felt as soon as he was posted to Washington.

Nope – he was not good for the people he loved. He'd known it since Charlie and this just proved it. Sam would have been much better off if he'd kindly told her, the moment she showed up at his cabin, that she was better off without him. That she should find someone who loved her (never as much as he did) but who wouldn't screw up her life.

It had started, innocently enough, like so many things do. They'd been living together for about two months and it had gone incredibly well. They hadn't planned to live together – both recognizing that they should take things a bit slow. She had intended to rent her own place, really, but the transition had been so smooth they had never felt the need for her to leave.

Both of them had been surprised at how well their lives seemed to mesh. He'd been worried that it would be difficult to move from a commander/subordinate role into a more equal one. If anything, she laughed, he was too careful not to boss her around.

"Jack, sometimes I like to have you make the decisions and sometimes I like to make them. You don't always have to ask me you know. I won't get offended, I promise and if I ever think you're moving into 'General mode' with me, I'll tell you."

He'd relaxed then, grateful that she was as calm about the whole thing as she was. He knew he was used to command – and specifically, to commanding her – so he worked very hard to not bark orders at her. There were a few minor spats, but they were mostly due to the differences in the way they approached simple things around the house. He discovered that she hated dishes left in the sink. He, on the other hand, would often stack them and do them all at a later time. Conversely, she would leave the newspaper spread out all over, all the sections separated while he liked to keep everything together. They'd ended up agreeing to try and to not get upset when the other one lapsed.

That had worked for a while, but soon irritation got the better of one or the other and they'd snap. It was Jack who finally fixed things by putting out an 'I screwed up' Jar. Anytime one or the other of them forgot they'd have to put in a 'promise' note. They'd have to promise to do something they normally avoided. Jack actually promised that he'd go with her to a lecture series at the university dealing with advanced physics. That's when she knew he really loved her.

So, all in all, things were going well. They hadn't really told anyone they were living together, although they knew their old team suspected. They definitely hadn't revealed anything to their colleagues in DC, feeling that it was best kept between them, for now.

Sam was enjoying her job and actually came home most days on time. They also promised to keep the weekends free, if possible, in order to spend time together. Jack had to laugh at how normal and domestic their lives had become compared to even a year ago. He really noticed it when they went out grocery shopping together. Who would have thought that he'd be arguing the merits of beans vs. broccoli with Samantha Carter – one of the world's geniuses!

So, he was pretty confident, when he decided to make his move, that everything would go just fine. That should have been his first clue right there. Since when did any of his plans work out? Plan A was always a bust – this time, however, he was pretty sure Sam wasn't interested in Plan B. He'd screwed up too royally.

It had all started when she'd asked him to go to the department store to return a shirt she'd bought. She was extremely busy on an important project so he'd said sure. He wasn't much of a shopper, but he could handle that. He'd gone to the local mall and made his way through the crowds and had managed to return it. The cashier had flirted with him, coming on pretty strong, which made him really uncomfortable. He never quite knew how to handle that kind of thing. It was something that didn't happen at work – at least not since he'd been with the SGC – and before that he'd been married and his ring had – usually – kept him safe.

It was that thought that was the beginning of his downfall. He had realized, right at that moment, that there was nothing he wanted more than to marry Sam. He wanted to wear her ring and to proclaim to the world that she was his – and vice-versa. With that thought in mind, he'd headed to the jewelry section to look at engagement rings.

He was smart enough not to buy one, at least not that day, but it had got him to thinking. Sam had been the one to take the step that had gotten them to the point they were now at. He should really be the one to suggest a move to the next level in their relationship. He did wonder if it was too early though. Would she panic? Did she want to be married? God – he needed help on this one.

Well, there was really only one person to ask. He told his secretary that he didn't want to be disturbed and picked up the phone.

"Daniel, it's Jack", he said when the other man answered his phone. "You alone?"

"Hi Jack. Yes, I'm alone. I'm just working on some artifacts we brought back from – you don't care. What is it? Everything going okay with you two?" Daniel was always slightly worried that he'd get a phone call one day, telling him that everything was over. He'd worried that things had gone a little too perfectly for his friends, although he was very happy for them.

"Yeah, everything's great. Uh Daniel", there was a pause.

"What is it Jack?"

"Uh, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Daniel frowned slightly. This didn't sound like Jack at all. He wondered what was up. "What is it?"

"Well, things are going good – I mean really good and I uh -"

"What? Just spit it out. I won't laugh, I promise."

"Okay", Jack answered seriously. Daniel raised his eyebrows – wow, this sounded serious. "I'm wondering if you think it's too early for me to uh -"

"For you to what?"

"Uh – to, you know – askhertomarryme?"

"Huh?" Daniel wasn't sure that he'd heard correctly. "What do you want to ask her?"

"To marry me. Do you think it's too early?"

"Uh", now it was Daniel who was stuttering. He'd never in a thousand years expected Jack to ask him for his opinion on this.

"You do", Jack sighed. "It is too early, isn't it? I thought so – it's just that – she's so amazing and the woman was coming on to me and I thought it would be great if I was wearing a ring and that got me to thinking that it would be great if we were married because she's really the most incredible woman -"

"Whoa Jack", Daniel laughed. "Slow down there. I didn't say it was too early – I was just surprised that you'd asked me, that's all."

"But you do, right?"

"What? Think it's too early? Hell Jack, you'd know better than me. I've never even seen the two of you together – as in together/together. I mean, both of you are really happy and from what Sam says she loves living there so, I don't know, maybe it isn't too early. You're the one who would know best."

"Yeah, but what if I propose and she tells me she doesn't want to get married?"

"Well then, I guess you'll just have to continue to live together in sin."

"Daniel"

The other man laughed. "Jack, we all know you're living together and we're happy for you. Don't be so worried."

"I'm not – I just don't want anything to harm Sam's career", he explained.

"And you think living with you will?"

"Maybe", Jack sighed. "This can be a pretty old-fashioned town you know, especially when it comes to how you're supposed to act if you're a politician – or a general. I mean, she's not in my chain of command, but I am considered pretty influential around here" he snorted in disbelief, "and there might be those who would still accuse her of getting to where she is because of me."

"There are idiots everywhere Jack, you know that and so does she. She's never let it bother her in the past, I don't know why it would bother her now."

"Well, she was never with me in the past. I mean, it's not like people could accuse her of sleeping her way up when we were at the SGC."

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Jack frowned. "Daniel?"

"Uh Jack – I thought you knew."

"Knew? Knew what?"

"People have been saying the two of you were sleeping together for years. Heck, Teal'c hit a couple of Marines who made comments about Sam and you. We all thought you were aware of what was being said."

This time the silence came from Jack's end. "Crap", he muttered. "Did Sam know?"

"Of course she did. She laughed about it and told us not to worry. She said she'd been dealing with that stuff for years and she refused to pay attention to it. I think it started because her father was a general and then just continued with you. You really didn't know?"

"No – or at least I assumed some people wondered but I never thought anyone would actually say anything." He sighed. "Hell I wouldn't have worried so much about how I behaved around her if I'd known people already had us sleeping together."

Daniel laughed. "I don't believe that for a second. You've always had too much respect for Sam – hell, for any of the women in the service, to have ever acted as anything but a gentleman and an officer. Anyone close to you knew it wasn't true so don't worry about it."

"Yeah, okay", he sighed again, "but that just proves that it's better we keep quiet about things here. In DC people can be really vicious and she isn't as well known. Things could get tough for her if it got out she was sleeping with a General."

"So, would it be better if you were married."

Jack thought for an instant. "Yeah, although there would still be some who would say she slept her way up – or 'married' her way up – but most would be pretty careful. It's one thing to accuse a girlfriend of a powerful man – another to accuse his wife."

"Well then, maybe you'd better propose."

"Daniel, I'm not planning to ask her to marry me to stop gossip! I want to ask her because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her!" he said bluntly.

"I think you answered your own question then Jack. You obviously are ready so it doesn't seem like it's too soon to me."

Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Thanks Jackson – I knew I could count on you!" he said quietly. It was true – Daniel might not give him the direct answer he'd wanted, but he knew the younger man well enough to know he'd help him work through it.

"Anytime Jack. So, when are you going to invite us out to visit? We'd love to see you – and Sam. I'm curious to know what a domesticated O'Neill looks like!"

They talked a bit longer before signing off. Jack had told him he'd let him know how everything went and, if Sam agreed to marry him, he'd have them all out for an engagement celebration. "Just don't say anything to Vala or Cam yet", he'd asked. "They can't keep a secret for anything. Go ahead and tell Teal'c though. He is the most secretive guy around."

So, after his conversation with Daniel, Jack set everything in motion. He was still nervous, but he knew Sam loved him. Even if she didn't want to get married he hoped this wouldn't upset her. Hell, she could only say no!

Of course, that thought scared the pants off of him. He really did want to marry her, more than anything. As much as he loved living together, he knew it didn't feel quite – permanent enough for him. He knew he still suffered from a tremendous lack of confidence when it came to Carter – and having her agree to marry him would make him feel like she really did want to make a life with him.

He knew he was bad – she'd been very open with him about her feelings. She hadn't said or done anything that made him suspicious of her feelings or her intent. Still, he hadn't done well in the past and he was always a bit worried that he'd do something which would have her running from him screaming.

He took an entire day off work to look at rings. He'd called both Daniel and Teal'c, asking for their advice. It was Teal'c who had been the most helpful when it came to a ring. He'd reminded Jack that Sam was a straight forward woman who valued simplicity and strength. She was neither gaudy nor ostentatious.

Jack had known instantly that Teal'c was right. She deserved something beautiful and simple. It had to be high quality but also something she could wear to work. With those thoughts in mind, he got searching.

He finally found what he thought was the perfect ring. The band was a combination of rose gold and platinum. The ring looked like almost alive as it swooped around the finger and ended in three rising, asymmetrical claws, each set with a white diamond. The center stone was a deep blue sapphire. The setting didn't sit too high – which could get in her way when she was working – but it looked stunning, and very different. It reminded him of Sam – graceful, seemingly simple – but ultimately complex.

It cost a pretty penny but he really didn't care. He had money and that wasn't what was important to him anyway. What was important was that he got this right. He prayed she'd like the ring.

The next step was to figure out how to propose. He went through every fancy restaurant he knew but none of them seemed right. He debated about inviting her back to the cabin but knew they both had too much on their plates right now. In the end, he decided the best place was at home. He'd arrange to come home early and set everything up. He'd have a caterer do the meal but he'd look after the flowers and the music. He wanted it to be perfect.

Sam was edgy all week. She didn't know what was wrong, but everything was bugging her. She'd snapped the heads off a few of her staff and she'd had to apologize. The problem was, she couldn't figure out what was wrong.

She went for a long walk at lunch one day and tried to figure out what it was. In the end, all she could come up with was that she and Jack had moved too quickly. Maybe she should have gotten her own place after all. The thought instantly had her bursting into tears.

Jack was strangely quiet all week. She'd tried to ask him what was wrong but he'd denied there was anything. Still, he seemed nervous as well and this just confirmed that they'd moved too fast. She convinced herself that Jack was tired of having her around and that she should consider finding a place to live. They needed to slow things down, she decided, although the thought didn't make her feel any better. In fact, the idea of moving out depressed the hell out of her.

What was wrong with her? Everything was fine between them. Oh, they'd had a few minor arguments, but for the most part they got along really well. Up until this week she'd looked forward to going home and seeing him. She was never bored and often spent hours talking with him about every subject imaginable. She'd always known he was smart, but he'd hidden how smart even from his own team. Now he seemed to be opening up to her in a way she'd never experienced with him before. It had given her an incredibly warm – and powerful – feeling to know he cared enough about her to let her see the real him.

So, back to what was wrong! She just felt – off – somehow, and it was throwing her. She was used to being in control and didn't know how to handle this awkward, nervous feeling.

Things came to a head for her when she ran into Brigadier General LeSage at the Commissary. It was Friday and she wasn't feeling well so decided to go grab a bowl of soup. She was in the middle of a project, but wasn't getting very far so figured stopping to eat might help.

Although she and Jack both worked at the Pentagon, they rarely if ever saw each other in the huge building. They had decided, right from the beginning, that it was better if they weren't seen together too much while at work. Anyway, neither of them really had time to go for lunch, usually opting to eat at their desks. In Jack's case, she knew, he often was invited to eat out by various important people.

Jack had mentioned the General although he hadn't said much about him. LeSage was involved in some of the projects Jack was involved in and knew about the Stargate program. She'd never really met him, although he'd said hello a few times. She was aware that he also knew her superior, General Torrington.

As she made her way to a table, holding her soup, all she could think was that she really wanted to just go home and lie down. She felt really awful and wondered if she was coming down with something. It was at that moment that she'd heard her name being called and she looked up to see General LeSage motioning her over.

"Colonel Carter", he called, "Come sit over here."

She really didn't feel particularly sociable right now, but there wasn't much she could do. She smiled politely and sat down across from the General.

He asked her how she was enjoying her new job and if she'd settled in okay. That chatted amicably for a few minutes, although Sam found it hard to concentrate. She had tasted a bite of the soup but it hadn't sat well so she just took small sips of water.

"You need to eat more Colonel", the General had boomed. "Isn't Jack feeding you enough or is he just working you too hard?" He laughed at his own joke.

She just about choked on her water but managed to cover up her surprise. How did he know they were together? Jack had told her he hadn't said anything to anyone in Washington other than his immediate superior.

"Handy having a General as your boyfriend", LeSage laughed again. "It helps you get ahead", he winked at the Colonel. "Jack told me he helped you back when you were a Captain – told me he'd had his eye on you from day one."

If she'd been feeling better – if she hadn't been feeling so off-balance, she would have realized that LeSage was coming on to her and that Jack would never have said those things. But she wasn't feeling well or particularly level-headed. All she knew was that she felt incredibly hurt and betrayed that Jack was talking about her to this – this moron.

"I'm sorry Sir", she suddenly stood up. "I'm not feeling well, so if you'll excuse me?"

She didn't even wait for him to answer but quickly made her way to the Ladies' room where she lost what little she'd eaten. She also spent half an hour crying her eyes out.

She knew it had been too quick. This had been a mistake, she realized. She would have to tell Jack she was moving out – after she killed him. She still couldn't believe he'd spoken to LeSage about her.

The man in question was busily putting the final touches on the table. He'd taken the day off to make sure everything was perfect. He had the table set, the caterers would be here shortly, the music and wine were ready to go and the ring was in its box, on the table beside her wine glass. Of course, his heart was practically beating out of his chest, but he knew Sam loved him, so he was hopeful this would go well.

He was a little surprised when he heard the door open. It was too early for her to be home – wouldn't you know she'd pick the one day, when he wanted to her to be on time, to come home early.

He came out into the hallway to greet her, hoping to keep her from seeing the Living Room. The first thing he noticed was that her face looked red, as if she'd been crying.

"Sam, what's wrong", he walked up quickly and tried to put his arms around her but she shrugged herself away.

"You know what's wrong Jack", she said accusingly. "How could you? I trusted you." She started to cry. "I knew this was a mistake", she cried. "We should never have done this. How could we possibly think we could go from serving together for years to this", she motioned around the room. "I served under you, for God's sake, and now people think I'm still 'under you', but in a different way. Why did you think it was okay to do what you did?"

She pushed herself by him and walked to the stairs. "I'm going to find an apartment and move out tomorrow", she said. "I'll stay in a hotel tonight. I'm just going to get some things." With that she hurried upstairs, leaving him stunned and silent.

So there he stood, knowing he'd done it. He'd screwed up the one thing that meant something to him. He laughed – no, she meant everything to him. Just then he heard a knock and slowly moved to the door. It was the catering company with the meal. He simply stood aside and let them drop everything off in the kitchen – he didn't even have the energy to tell them to leave.

He watched as his dreams dissolved, left in the ashes of a dinner he'd never eat, wine they'd never drink and a ring that would never grace her finger. He slowly walked into the room and picked up the ring and looked at it. It shone brightly in the palm of his hand, and he couldn't help but grasp it, as if trying to break it. He then threw it, in anger, towards the fireplace. Let it burn like all the other things that had been good in his life. He dropped the now-empty box and turned and walked out of the room and out of the house. At least he could leave her in peace while she packed.

She went into the guest room and retrieved her suitcases, now neatly put away in the closet. She dragged them into their – his – bedroom and lifted them up on the bed. She then began opening drawers and grabbing clothes and throwing them into the cases. It was when she opened the top drawer, and saw her panties and bras sharing the drawer with his socks, that she broke down. She began to cry and fell to the floor, curled up on her side.

What had she just done? How could she have acted like this? What was wrong with her? After a while she began to calm down and for the first time in days felt like she was thinking clearly. There was no way Jack would ever have said those things to LeSage. Somehow the man must have ferreted out that they were together. Jack was nothing if not honorable and truthful. So what had she done? She'd come home and screamed at him and accused him and then told him she was leaving. What kind of person was she?

She finally pulled herself together and slowly put her things back. Everything had been fine with them – wonderful even – so why the sudden panic? Her emotions were all over the place and she'd gone off the deep end. She didn't ever remember reacting like this in her life. It scared her – but she knew she had to talk to Jack, to try and explain. Then maybe he would help her figure out what was wrong.

Once everything was put away, and the suitcases were once again relegated to the spare room closet, she slowly made her way back downstairs – afraid, but knowing she had an apology to make as well as some kind of explanation.

Things were quiet and she called out, wondering where he was. When there was no answer she turned into the living room to find him. What she saw stopped her cold. The fireplace was going and a table had been set with fine china. A beautiful bouquet of red roses sat in the middle of the table and a bottle of wine was on ice, ready to be opened.

"Oh God", she whispered, her hand held to her mouth. She turned and ran into the kitchen and saw warming dishes full of hot food. "Jack", she called, but again there was no answer. "Oh God", she repeated, "What have I done?"

She desperately searched the house, but there was no sign of him. She looked out into the driveway and his car was gone. He'd obviously left.

She returned to the Living Room and looked around again, knowing she'd just destroyed something precious. He'd obviously gone to a lot of trouble for her – this was something special, and she'd come in and spoiled everything.

It was only at that moment that she saw something lying on the floor. She knelt down and picked it up. It was a ring box – open, with the ring missing. She let out a small sob, realizing what this whole scenario was about.

He'd planned to propose and had gone to all this work for her. She sat down on the couch and sobbed her heart out, knowing that she'd probably wounded him past forgiveness. She had been so horrible – there was no way he would ever forgive her!

She wondered briefly what he'd done with the ring. Knowing Jack he'd probably take it and toss it in the river or something. She suddenly had a wild idea and got down on her hands and knees to search.

It took her almost an hour, but she finally found it. It had fallen into the soot in the bottom of the fireplace. Fortunately, it hadn't been close enough to have melted, but it was dirty.

Still, she could see that it was a beautiful ring – perfect in fact. Holding it in her hand she again burst into tears. She'd just thrown away the most important thing in her life.

She spent the next hour carefully wrapping and putting away all the food. She left the table the way it was - hoping that somehow he'd forgive her and they could repair all this – but knowing that it was a distant hope. She was pretty sure she'd gone too far and that he wouldn't want her back in his life.

She sat waiting, hoping, but he didn't return. Finally she looked at the clock - it was past 3:30 in the morning and he still hadn't returned. She'd tried his cell phone, but when it rang in their bedroom she realized she wouldn't be able to get in touch with him. Finally, in desperation, she called Daniel.

"Hello", he answered groggily. "Who is this?"

"Daniel?" Before she could say anymore, she burst into tears.

"Sam? Is that you?" Suddenly his voice was much clearer. "God Sam, what's wrong?"

It took her a couple of more minutes before she was able to speak and she knew Daniel had to have been going crazy with fear. "I'm sorry Daniel", she finally got out. "I've really screwed things up", she sobbed.

"Screwed -?" There was a pause. "Is this about you and Jack?" he asked softly. He felt bad, but was somewhat relieved that no one was hurt – at least physically.

"Yes", she said. "I – I really messed up Daniel, and I don't know what to do."

"What happened?" he asked gently. So, for the next half hour she told him everything that had occurred.

"But Sam, why have you been so upset – I mean before this happened. Have things been bad?"

"No, that's just it. I don't know why I've been like this. It's like I'm someone else – I've just been feeling – weird , and nervous. I've been snapping people's heads off for no reason and suddenly I began to panic about living here. But there's no reason Daniel! Everything's been great. We get along really well and we have fun and I love him", she started to cry. "I think I'm going insane."

"Sam, calm down", he said softly. "There's been an awful lot of changes in your life – in both of your lives, so it's no surprise that this happened. I've been worried about it, in fact. But I think you just need to sit down and talk to each other. Just explain how you've been feeling. I don't get the feeling you want to end things – maybe just slow down a bit and take some more time."

"I – maybe you're right – but I don't think that's even it Daniel. I – when I discovered he was going to propose tonight, I realized there is nothing I want more than to marry him. It felt so right Daniel. Maybe that's what's been wrong – us living here, keeping things secret, maybe I just wanted everything out in the open."

"Well, if that's the case, I don't think there's too much of a problem. Jack certainly wants to marry you so things will work out fine."

"No they won't", she sobbed. "I screwed up Daniel and hurt him horribly. He's not going to forgive me. If he was, he wouldn't have taken off and disappeared."

"Of course he'll forgive you Sam. I mean, it may take a while – we all know that Jack's not the most forgiving guy in the world, but he does love you. Just tell him what happened. As for disappearing – if I know Jack he did that to give you some space. He probably thinks it'll be easier on you if he's not there. I'm sure he's sitting somewhere, in his car, positive that he screwed up somehow. He was kind of nervous about asking you to marry him so he probably figures that's what did it."

Daniel cursed himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He could tell that Sam was crying even harder now and he knew he'd made her feel even more guilty. Crap – if only he were there. Right now he wanted to sit them down in a room together and make them stay there until they'd talked. It had always been a problem with these two!

"Just don't give up Sam. You know Jack will go off and hide somewhere if you let him. He needs you more than ever so don't let him do this. Make sure you tell him you do love him and that you were suffering some kind of weird – I don't' know – hormonal thing or something. Guys will buy that you know."

The silence worried him until he heard a soft, "Oh my God!" on the other end of the phone.

"Are you okay Sam?" he asked, suddenly worried again.

"Yeah, I'm fine Daniel", she said, a strange note in her voice. "I think I have to go now. I'll call you when I've found Jack."

"Sam, SAM" but the phone clicked. Damn it! He tried to call he back but she didn't answer. He got out of bed and started to get dressed, only stopping to give Teal'c a call. They had a flight to catch to DC.

She couldn't believe she'd missed it! Of course – as soon as Daniel had mentioned 'hormones' she'd clued in. She'd never been one to suffer PMS – thankfully – although she remembered that Janet Frasier had had a terrible time of it, complaining that she always tried to be off duty at that time.

"So I don't kill anyone Sam", she'd said, "especially Colonel O'Neill! For the first day of my period I become the bitch from hell –plus half the time I do stupid things! It's as if my brain doesn't work properly."

Well, Sam knew it wasn't PMS - in fact, it was only now that she realized – she was long overdue for her period. How she could have missed it was beyond her. Well no, that actually wasn't true – as long as she was on birth control she'd often missed, or had such light ones she'd barely noticed.

She'd stopped taking birth control after Pete and had never resumed. She didn't like the thought of what the pills, or implants, were doing to her. She'd told Jack and after those first few days they'd used condoms. Obviously they hadn't worked – or she'd gotten pregnant right away. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't had her period since they'd been together.

So, when Daniel had mentioned hormones it had instantly made sense. Still, she could be wrong. She looked at the clock. It was still just 5:00 am so most things would be closed. She quickly grabbed her laptop and looked up Pharmacies until she found one that was open all night.

Grabbing her coat, she slipped out and got her car and drove to the drug store and picked up a pregnancy test. By the time she returned home the sun was coming up. Jack's car still wasn't back yet.

She raced up stairs to the bathroom, but suddenly stopped. No – she had to wait for him. She was going to explain and tell him what she thought was wrong – but he deserved to find out with her. She'd already destroyed his surprise – she could at least give him this much. She carefully but the box away in her nightstand.

That, of course, started her worrying. They hadn't really discussed kids – except very tentatively. They'd agreed that they'd both consider a child, but it had been too early in their relationship to talk about when. It all came back to how quickly they'd jumped into things. They should have discussed this more deeply.

Well, it might just be a moot point by now, she knew. They'd just have to wait and see. Finally, realizing there was nothing more she could do until Jack came back, she grabbed a blanket from the bed and made her way down into the living room. She lay down on the couch, and clutched the ring in her hand – she wouldn't put it on her finger until he put it on for her – and lay down, exhausted with the events of the day.

She was sure she wouldn't be able to sleep, but before long, she had drifted off, the sun touching her pale, tired face and her hand, with the ring, held up close to her heart.

He made his way slowly home, although he dreaded arriving to an empty house. He'd spent the night sitting in his car in a small park. The police had come up at one point and told him to move, so he'd driven around for a while but finally decided it was time to head home.

By this time he was exhausted and numb. He kept going over everything again and again, and still couldn't figure out what had gone wrong – or when. She must have somehow found out about the proposal and freaked out – although he thought he'd kept it pretty quiet. Still, she clearly wasn't happy about it and he'd definitely miscalculated. Well, that was nothing new, he laughed ironically.

"If there's anyone who can screw up his life it's you Jack O'Neill", he said softly to himself. "Why you ever thought you deserved to be happy is beyond me!"

He drove slowly down his street and had pulled into his driveway before he noticed that her car was still there. He frowned in confusion – why was it here? She was going to leave. Maybe she'd called a cab, he decided.

He stiffly got out of his car, feeling every one of his years, and walked up to the front door. It was locked, so he took out his key and opened the door, hoping, but doubting, she'd still be home.

The first thing he did was walk upstairs, taking two steps at a time. When he saw the bed, still made up, he knew she had left. He checked the guest room but it was empty as well. With a heavy sigh he walked down the stairs, heartsick and lost.

Moving like an old man, he hung up his jacket and wandered aimlessly into the kitchen. He knew he should have something to drink, although he didn't feel like eating. He snorted softly – he'd have to figure out what to do with all the food.

He was surprised when he arrived to see that everything had been put away. He opened the fridge and saw everything carefully covered. Sam must have found it and put it away before she left. Leave it to Carter, he grimaced. Even mad she wouldn't leave things undone. She was too careful and conscientious for that.

He suddenly realized that if she'd seen the kitchen she would have had to have noticed the living room. He groaned in embarrassment and regret. That must have truly been a kick in the pants to her.

He turned slowly and made his way to the other room. He wondered if she'd turned off the fireplace. He shouldn't have left without seeing to that.

It was still burning, he saw as soon as he entered, although it was nothing but glowing embers at this point. He might as well leave it, he decided. He glanced at the table – still made up – and closed his eyes. What an idiot he'd been.

"Jack?"

He froze, not expecting to hear her voice. Taking a deep breath he slowly turned around and saw her, sitting up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Her face looked like hell – it was blotchy and swollen from crying. God, what had he done to her?

"Sam", he whispered. He still couldn't believe she was here.

He looked terrible, she saw, as soon as he turned around. His face was pale with big circles under his eyes. Worse than that was the look in his eyes – they looked wounded and as if he was in pain.

"Jack", she said again. "I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?" She held out her hand, but when he didn't more she dropped it slowly

He frowned in confusion. Why was she apologizing to him? He couldn't understand what was going on. All he knew was he felt lost – like he hadn't felt since they'd told him Charlie hadn't made it. He felt lost and alone and so confused.

"What?" he asked, not sure what to do. He had seen her hand, but even that didn't make sense. What did she want? Why was she still here?

"Can you forgive me? I didn't mean to hurt you my love. I was – sick and tired and I said things I didn't mean. Please, please say you'll forgive me."

She grew worried when he simply licked his lips and stared at her. She suddenly realized that he looked almost as if he was in shock. She stood up then and walked over to him and reached down and took his hand. "Sit with me", she spoke softly, gently. She tugged his hand and he obediently followed her to the couch. "You're chilly", she said, taking the blanket and covering him. She then pulled him close so that he was leaning up against her.

They sat that way for a few minutes, neither of them moving. Sam kept looking at him and grew more worried. She was pretty sure he was in shock – at least mild shock. This had obviously hurt him horribly. The guilt rose like bile into the back of her throat and she knew she had to make this right, or things would be over practically before they started.

She leaned back, pulling him down with her, until they were snuggled closely on the couch. "Just rest Jack, it's okay. I'm here and I love you and I'm never leaving. I'm so sorry for what I said. I really didn't mean it."

Finally he appeared to be coming out of it. He took a deep breath and turned and looked at her. His eyes were still slightly unfocused, but even as she looked at him she could see him begin to come back. He blinked a couple of times and then frowned. "What's going on?" he asked. Without waiting for an answer he pushed himself up and stuck his fingers through his hair. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Uh, it's 7:15", she answered, after looking at the clock on the wall.

"Morning?"

"Yes", she answered, "it's morning. You were gone all night."

"Oh." He sat silently for a few more minutes and then turned and faced her. "Are you leaving?" he asked. Clearly her words hadn't registered.

"Not unless you want me to", she answered, in a small voice. "What I said last night-"

"Why Sam?" he asked. "Was what I did so bad? All you had to do was say no – I wouldn't have forced you. I just – I loved you so much that I had to ask."

She frowned in confusion, but also in fear. She didn't know what he was talking about – but she'd also heard him say he'd loved her –past tense. Did he not love her anymore?

"I – you didn't do anything at all Jack, it was me. I don't know what was wrong – at least, I have a suspicion now, but at the time all I knew was that I was feeling nervous and upset. There wasn't anything specific that was bothering me but I started to panic. I thought maybe we'd jumped in too soon, that's all. It was silly and emotional and I really didn't mean what I said."

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Think we jumped in too soon?"

"No – not at all", she answered seriously. "Things have been amazing – better than I ever thought they'd be. Maybe that's what was wrong. Maybe I just thought it was too good – so I decided to screw things up before they went wrong on their own. I don't know – it was all silly and I'm over it now. Will you forgive me?"

"It wasn't this" he waved his hand towards the table.

"God no! I didn't even know about this – not until after you'd left. Then I felt terrible." The tears started to run down her face. "I came in and saw all you'd done and I knew I'd done the most stupid thing of my entire life. I wanted to rush after you and take it all back but you were gone. Jack – this was beautiful and you'll never know how much I regret what I said. I love you, more than you could possibly know."

"Then – what was that about? What did you think I'd done?" he looked thoroughly confused, although he had slightly more color in his cheeks and didn't look like death anymore.

"General LeSage asked me to sit with him for lunch", she started to say.

"That ass? God – don't tell me he said something?"

"Ass? I didn't know you thought that about him."

"Hell, everybody does. He's a bigot and a womanizer. The only thing that's kept him out of trouble is that he's smart but we all hope that one day they'll get rid of him." His eyes suddenly opened wide. "What did he do? Did he try and come on to you?" Jack looked furious.

"Well, in a manner of speaking he did. He knew about you and me and implied that you said you'd basically helped my career because of what was between us."

"I'm going to kill him", he started, but then stopped. "You believed him?' he asked, softly.

Oh no – she knew this was going to be bad. "Jack – I told you – I was feeling sick and he got to me. Normally I would have just laughed him off but this time I didn't even stop to think. I've never doubted you. I know you too well – it's just that for a little while things were – out of kilter for me. As soon as you left today I realized what I'd done. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Please, forgive me", she asked again.

He stood up quickly and walked to the fireplace. He had been feeling better, like things were going to be okay, but now – he didn't know. How could she have doubted him even for a second? It was so unlike her – he stopped and lifted his head. That's just what she was saying. He'd never seen Sam mistrust him, in all the years they'd worked together. Something strange was going on.

"Why?" he asked again, but this time he meaning was different.

"I don't know. I told you – I was sick. I've been feeling strange all week. Right after he General said what he did, I had to get up and go to the bathroom. I was actually sick. When I came home I felt terrible too. I think that's what it was – honestly Jack." She looked him right in the eye and tried to communicate the truth to him. When she saw him nod, and give a small smile, she burst into tears.

"Hey", he rushed back to the couch and sat down and took her into his arms. "We'll get you checked out and everything will be fine", he said, worry in his voice. "I forgive you – if you'll forgive me for this" again he motioned to the table.

"Forgive you? For the dinner and flowers and everything? No way Jack – there's nothing to forgive. It's beautiful. In fact, if you don't mind", she bowed her head shyly but then straightened up and looked at him again. "I'd like to finish this. I'd like to erase the last 12 or 14 hours and pretend that I've just come home to a beautiful meal from the man I love with all my heart."

His eyes filled and he blinked madly to keep from crying himself. "But Sam", he cleared his throat and tried again, "But Sam – it's 7:30 in the morning."

"So, I'm hungry – I haven't eaten and the food looked delicious. I'll just go upstairs and change and you can stick everything in the microwave." She leaned over and kissed him. "I do love you, you know – and I want this to be a wonderful memory."

He smiled but couldn't help but look at the ring box sitting on the table. He frowned slightly – pretty sure that he had left the box on the floor. He had no idea where the ring was. Oh well, he didn't think he'd go there today anyway – it probably was too soon.

He felt her take his hand and turn it over, until his palm was upright. She then dropped something into it. He looked down and saw the ring. "Where?" he looked at her, startled. "I thought I -"

"Threw it away? You did, but I found it. I'm not telling you what to do with it – that's for you to decide – but I want you to know that if you do decide I still deserve it – I would wear it proudly and with joy." With that she stood up and gave him a soft kiss. "I'm going to change. I'll be down in 20 minutes."

He spent the first 5 simply staring at the ring in his hand. He didn't quite know quite what to think or feel until he heard a drawer open and close upstairs. The sound brought back a rush of memory from when she'd first moved in. A smile grew on his face and he grasped the ring tightly and stood up. What the hell was he waiting for?

He was almost ready by the time he heard her coming down stairs. "Just wait a second", he called as he lit the candles. He'd closed the drapes, but it was still clearly daylight. Still – it looked pretty good. He patted the ring in his pocket, still not quite sure what he was going to do about it. "Okay", he called. He walked to the door of the living room and caught his breath. She was stunningly gorgeous in a long, black evening gown with her hair pulled up. He didn't remember ever seeing her look quite so – glamorous.

"You look beautiful", he breathed. He took her in his arms and simply held her close. "I'm never letting you go you know", he said softly.

"Good", she replied. "I never want you to."

They sat down and had a banquet for breakfast. Most of the food had heated quite well, although the crust on the Beef Wellington was a bit soft. Still, from her grin, and the amount she ate, he didn't think Sam minded.

"This is delicious", she said, over her third serving of potatoes.

"Hungry are we?" he asked with a grin.

She nodded. "Yeah, I haven't been eating well this week. I didn't eat anything yesterday." She looked at him, a bit nervous about mentioning it, but he continued to grin. He was enjoying watching a beautiful, elegant Sam eat like a football player.

"Not having any wine", he asked, when he noticed her glass was still full.

"Uh, no, that's okay. I guess it's a bit too early for wine."

"But not for Beef Wellington?"

"It's never too early for that."

By the time they finished dessert they were back to being totally comfortable around each other. They were both still a bit nervous however, Sam because of what was waiting upstairs and because of what she had to say to Jack and him because of the ring burning a hole in his pocket.

Finally, when the meal was all over, Jack got up and cleared the table. "No, sit down – this is my treat", he said. She watched as he took the dishes out and then came back and turned on the stereo. A beautiful waltz came on and he walked over and held out his hand. "Dance with me?"

She was really afraid she was going to start to cry again. He was just so sweet – she felt guilty again for what she'd done.

"Stop thinking Sam", he said, and the familiar words again warmed her to the bottom of her soul.

"I'm just thinking how wonderful you are and how much I love you." She leaned back and looked at him. "Have I told you that lately?"

He smiled and kissed her. "I love you too Sam – and yes, you've told me, but I can never hear it enough. It's" he faltered, "it's sometimes hard for me to believe I deserve you. That's why – I was sure I'd messed up to – yesterday."

"Never Jack. God – how can I convince you that I'm the lucky one? That you deserve everything wonderful."

"How can you convince me?" He dropped his arms from around her and stepped back. He glanced down and then back up quickly. With a nervous quirk to his lips, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. "By marrying me I guess", he said. "I love you more than you'll ever know Sam and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that I really don't deserve you, but I'll know I'm the luckiest man in the universe if you say 'yes'."

"Yes", she said softly, and put out her left hand. With slightly shaky fingers he pushed the ring onto her finger. They both just looked at it for a moment and then Jack laughed and grabbed her and swung her around.

She began to laugh as well, and the next thing then knew they were kissing each other passionately. "Come on", he said breathlessly, barely removing his lips from hers. "Upstairs!"

How they managed to make it up the stairs and into their bedroom, while staying locked together, neither of them could ever figure out. Still, they did make it and spent the rest of the morning telling one another how much they were loved – without words.

"Jack", she said softly, as they lay quietly together.

"Yes", he reached down and kissed her forehead. "What is it?"

"There's something I need to tell you – or at least – I don't quite know yet, but I think-" she faltered, unsure as to how to go on.

"What?" he looked worried as he pushed himself up. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong – at least I hope not. But I think it might explain why I've been acting so weird this week."

"Uh, okay", he said, clearly confused and still slightly worried.

She gave a small smile and reached over and kissed him. "Hold on."

She reached over to her night stand and opened the drawer and pulled out a box.

"What is it?" he asked, curious.

With a deep breath she turned over and showed him the box. If she hadn't been so nervous herself she would have laughed as his expression. She didn't know it was humanly possible for eyes to grow that big.

"Are you – do you mean – do you think -" he stuttered. "Sam?"

"I'm not sure Jack, but it's possible. I wanted to wait until you were with me before I found out. I – if I am, will you be upset?" she asked, worried about how he was going to feel.

"Upset?" Without warning he grinned and grabbed her. The box went flying as he kissed her passionately. At this rate, a small part of her thought, they were never going to find out! "Sam", he finally said when he put his head up, "you know there's nothing I'd like more than to have a child with you. If you are – I'll be thrilled – if you aren't – well, it'll just be an excuse to keep trying." Then he frowned. "That is, if it's something you want?"

"Of course it is!" she smiled. "But I'd better go find out."

He padded behind her as she made her way to the bathroom. She wondered briefly if he planned to hold her hand but he stopped in the doorway and let her go in by herself. "I won't look at it until we can look together", she called. She knew the test was practically instant and almost 100% accurate. As she sat down she held her breath – hoping.

"So?" he said, as she walked out. He was practically jumping in place.

She grinned. "I don't know, I haven't looked yet.

"Well come on then, let's see." He grabbed her hand and held up the stick. The little heart was bright pink. "So", he said, "what the hell does that mean?"

She grinned again – "it means you're going to be a daddy!"

He could swear he could hear someone pounding on the door. He groaned and tried to unwrap himself from around Sam and not wake her up. Yes, there was someone definitely pounding on his door. He glanced at the clock and it read 2:45. He assumed that was in the afternoon and that they'd been asleep only for a couple of hours. It had been an exhausting night – and morning – and they'd both needed the sleep. Especially Sam, he smirked. He couldn't believe all that had happened.

He was engaged plus he was going to be a father again! As he carefully stood up and threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, he thought about how lucky he was. He made his way to the stairs, a silly grin on his face. The knocking came again.

"Hold your horses", he muttered. He just hoped whoever it was wouldn't wake Sam up. "What", he said as he jerked the door open.

"Jack, are you okay?" A very rumpled looking Daniel and a frowning Teal'c, stood at his doorstep.

"I'm fine", he answered, "What the hell are you two doing here?" he asked, surprised. Suddenly he noticed that both his friends looked extremely worried. "Is everything okay?" He motioned for them to enter. "What's wrong?" He had sudden thoughts of a major crisis and started to panic – not when he had a new baby on the way!

"We're fine Jack – it's you we're worried about." Daniel answered, looking closely at his friend. "Why aren't you dressed?" Daniel wondered if Jack had been drinking. He looked like he'd had a pretty wild night.

"Me? Why would you be worried about me? I'm fine." Jack looked back and forth between his two friends. "What's this about?"

"Sam called me last night and said that you'd left. She said that things were bad between you and that she'd 'screwed up'. She hung up on me and I couldn't get in touch with her again so we decided to come. Is she gone?"

"Who? Sam? No, she's upstairs sleeping." Jack looked at his friends again. "Everything's fine guys", he said gently, incredibly touched they'd come so far to check on him and Sam. "We worked everything out. It was just a case of – hormones", he grinned but was surprised at Daniel's knowing look. "She was a little upset and I left for a while, but we got everything sorted out. Come on in. You both look like you could use a drink or something."

"That would be most welcome O'Neill", Teal'c answered, still looking slightly worried. "But why are you dressed like that", he pointed at Jack's attire.

Jack self-consciously tried to straighten his hair; pretty sure it was its usual wild mess from sleeping. "I uh was sleeping", he answered as he walked into the kitchen. "We had a pretty late night so we took a nap."

"Oh" Daniel stopped and looked around the messy kitchen, with its remains from their morning feast. "Looks like you guys were celebrating", he said, a question in his voice.

"We were Daniel", Sam's voice came from the doorway. They all turned to look at her and again, Jack couldn't help but smile. He was so lucky! "Jack asked me to marry him and I said yes", she held up her hand and showed them the ring. She was grinning ear to ear.

After all the hugs and congratulations, the four friends sat around the kitchen table and shared a late afternoon snack and talked about old times and new.

"Can you guys stay for a few days", Jack asked.

"Yeah – we asked for some time off. We thought we might have to -"

"Pick up the pieces?" Jack asked.

"Yeah maybe – although we're glad everything's worked out. We're thrilled for you two you know."

"Indeed O'Neill, Colonel Carter. We are very happy that you are together. We wish you many long, joyous years of marriage. Please know that we are always here for both of you as well."

"That's great Teal'c, thank you. Uh, by the way – how do you feel about babysitting?"