I Will Never Love Like This Again…

Disclaimer:I do not own Junjou Romantica.

Rating: T maybe M in later chapters

A/N: I'm REALLY sorry if some of the characters seen ooc at times. As everyone knows, Terrorist doesn't get many chapters so I'm not as in touch with them as I am the others. However I absolutely adore this couple because they just seem so perfect for each other and I really wanted to write a fanfiction for them so I did and this is it. Also this will probably be a short chapter, since it's more of a prologue.

Warning: BoyXBoy paring, don't like don't read. Also in the first few chapters there is a kind of character death and there will be Mpreg! Also this is my first full on Mpreg fiction so please be nice everyone! But if you guys like it then I might add in a Romantica and Egoist Mpreg in later chapters but you HAVE to review!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Chapter 1: Goodbye, My Love

"Y-you can't be serious!" Miyagi cried as he waited just outside the emergency room for Shinobu to finish his operation. It was only a month ago that he found out his lover had pancreatic cancer, and that he only had a 10% chance of living another year. Apparently it was in its late stages, and he needed a surgery to remove as much of the infected cells as possible, and if they succeeded there would be a 75% chance he would survive. Of course, Miyagi would do anything to make sure his lover survived.

However, it was too late. There stood the doctor, telling Miyagi, as well as Shinobu's mother, father and sister, that he had passed away during the surgery. They were all in shock, and Miyagi wanted to burst into the room just to make sure his lover was still alive. This can't be happening… why… why did it have to be Shinobu? The doctor looked a bit uneasy.

"I'm sorry sir, but Takatsuki Shinobu has passed away."

That was it. Shinobu was gone. Just like that. No one could believe it. His mother and sister were crying into each other's arms, as loud as they could manage. The dean stood there shaking, cursing God for taking his only son from him. And then there was Miyagi, who only stood there, frozen. He couldn't even blink, he couldn't breathe, hell, he couldn't even tell if this was reality, or if this was another one of his twisted nightmares.

Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, until time it's self became a blurred mess of what might be real, and what he wished was all a dream. Before he knew it, he was back at his apartment, his face buried into one of Shinobu's shirts. He really was gone. Miyagi had to accept that. He also had to accept that he might have been the cause, since pancreatic cancer is more common in men who are sexually active… with other men. Not to mention, since Shinobu was uke, his chances of getting such a terrible disease increased tenfold.

Maybe it was all Miyagi's fault.

Months passed since Shinobu's death, and a funeral service was finally being held. Miyagi had insisted on planning the whole thing. The service was long and drawn out, and a lot of people showed up, all dressing in black cloths decorated with their tears. Miyagi was the only one that didn't cry during the service. He still couldn't get over the fact that Shinobu was really gone, not to mention the fact that no one else knew that they were lovers. Maybe he just thought that people would be suspicious if he cried, since technically he and Shinobu didn't even see each other that much. He was only there as Shinobu's X-brother-in-law. Nothing more… Nothing less…

Finally the service ended, after many tears and many long speeches about how much everyone loved Shinobu and how much he'd be missed. Of course Miyagi sat through the whole thing just thinking to himself that these people would never know his pain. Then again, they were all close to Shinobu too. One by one everyone left, until only Shinobu's family and Miyagi remained. The dean patted Miyagi on the shoulder. "Thank you for being here for us Miyagi, but you don't need to stay any longer. I understand that you and Shinobu met every once and a while, but you don't need to be here for our sakes."

Miyagi's eyes widened at the dean. He misunderstood. "No… I'm sorry but you've misunderstood, sir. Shinobu and I were" Miyagi started to shake. "Very close. After he moved, he was close by so I would go over to help…" He clenched his fist, holding back the tears as best as he could manage. The dean's eyes widened and Miyagi became frantic, trying to cover his tracks. "Well… he ended up moving into the empty apartment next to mine so we saw each other often." Thankfully the dean was satisfied with this and left the matter alone.

It was hours before Shinobu's family left Miyagi alone, in front of the grave. All he could do was stare at it, looking down at the name of his lover written in the granite. He always thought he would be one to go first. He always thought that he would die knowing the comfort of his lover, peacefully passing away without a word, but with Shinobu knowing how much he cared about the younger man. All of the memories of them together filled Miyagi's mind, and he finally broke down, crying loudly over his lover's grave. He began to talk to himself, or to Shinobu's ghost. "Fuck! Why did you leave me damn it! You said it was fate! That I had to take responsibility! Not look where it got us! Damn it! Shit! Fuck…" The curses continued until the sun left the sky, and he was forced out of the cemetery.

A/N: Sorry if it's a little bit sad, but the story is not over yet! If you want to read more than please review, since I have no confidence in my writing… _"

Shinobu:I can't believe you killed me…

Miyagi: I can't believe you took him from me!

PureHeartKill: Relax… the story is not over yet…

Shinobu: You're evil!

PureHeartKill: Flattery won't bring you back to life. Please Review!