Through the Dirt

Chapter 8

Pt. 2: Awake

Song Featured: Title of the chapter and lyrics are from Filter's "Take a Picture".

A/N: Hope you enjoy the chapter. There's a lot going on in my life lately, so hence the long wait for an update, especially on this because there's so much internal speculation, writing and then the editing. Just wanted to tell all you wonderful readers that the long wait between chapters does not mean I'm losing interest, I'm still dedicated to this. And thank you all so much for your reviews, favorites and story alerts. It means a lot to know that you guys are still enjoying. Things are starting to get explained a little in this chapter, but the next chapter, part three, will really pick up; whereas, this is the effect of wanting to give Dean and Gabriel a little break from all the turmoil.

X9X9X9X9X9X9X9X9

~Can everyone agree that they

Should not be left alone

And I feel like a newborn

Kicking and screaming

Could you take my picture

Cause I won't remember~

X9X9X9X9X9X9X9X9

The woods are still and quiet as he trudges through them. The whole place is a ghost town, no car by the Impala's in the parking lot and the owner hasn't been seen for weeks. The two Winchester brothers have been here for a little under a week but it feels infinitely longer, feels like home now to Gabriel who's been here even less.

Just because everything is silent though, doesn't mean that it set the archangel on edge any less.

He figures Dean couldn't have gone far because he doesn't have much of a head start on him, and something tells him that Dean won't just take off now, not with what he's, they've, all just been through.

It's a chilly night and it's getting darker by the second. The sunset's about to fall around him and he wants to share it with Dean out here, undisturbed and the eerie stillness giving them time to talk more about things that need to be talked about, words that must be spoken.

What Dean said before… as much as he doesn't want to admit it… changes everything.

It's painful to realize that he knows next to nothing about Loki, about his agenda and relationship with Lucifer. When Gabriel went to rescue the human, Lucifer wasn't there, when Gabriel thought that Loki was at the center of all the horror inflicted upon his hunter, Dean might have just proved him wrong and as mad as he is for this newfound truth, he's happy that at least Dean didn't wait longer to tell him.

The woods are getting deeper, branches thicker and closer together as there's hardly any space for him to squeeze in between the trees. It's amazing how there's no sound, no chirping of birds or rattling of bugs, no sound of Dean up ahead trudging through the thick underbrush. The night is only getting colder and Gabriel is only getting more restless.

That's when he notices a clearing up ahead, the vibrant, deep purple sunset breaking through the far edges of the sky and enshrouding him in its violet darkness. Suddenly he can hear the soft sound of water running and the gentle swaying of the trees around him. He walks carefully, not wanting to give himself away to Dean yet and not wanting to break the comfortable silence either.

When he sees the human he lets go of the breath he's been holding and lets his presence be known but walking more loudly and carelessly before speaking, "It's getting cold."

"I can hardly feel it."

Dean is humming what sounds like Metallica when he collapses beside him on the shore of the lake, the water lapping close to Dean but not touching him. Dean stares at everything but him, the water, the fine sand beneath him, even the shore across from him where nothing can be seen or heard.

He waits for Dean to glance over at him but he doesn't. He starts talking first.

"I should have told you sooner. I know that, I just didn't think I could." He skips a rock into the water as soon as he's done running his fingers along its smooth, unbroken surface, "Wasn't ready to."

Gabriel scoots closer. Dean goes on, "I didn't ask you to come you know. Or stay," he adds. He still doesn't look at him, Gabriel feels like he may know why too.

He tenses when Dean says those things even though he knows he wants him to be here right now. There's so many things that he wants to say but none of them seem to be enough or plan on making any minuscule amount of difference. Dean seems like he needs to talk, get things off his chest and because of that he'll be quiet, just enjoy the way Dean looks next to him, so beautiful and Gabriel can't imagine that that beauty is his.

That Dean is his.

"I don't want this, Gabe. I don't want any of this."

"I know," he whispers, staring up at the sky as the moon breaks through the illustrious clouds. As the stars begin to shine through the mottled gray of the sky that's fading away to a glistening peach color.

The dark circles under the human's eyes are vanquished now, instead his hazel eyes shimmer magnificently. There's no tears but they aren't empty either, instead, when he looks over at Gabriel there is longing held within them.

The archangel scoots even closer to wrap his arms around him, feeling Dean start to shiver a little now that the chill of the night has set in. He smiles as he kisses the back of Dean's neck slowly, feels Dean lean further back into him as a result of the gesture.

Gabriel continues to plant kisses to his neck and hair, staying gentle as he moves up to his cheeks and forehead. Dean gives him better purchase by turning his head and meeting Gabriel's lips. They share the moment slowly and softly, keeping it romantic and memorable. The archangel gets the feeling that Dean wants more but neither of them pushes or pulls away. They both want to take this slow, Dean because he's so unsure and Gabriel because he wants Dean so badly that he can''t dare ruin it.

When Dean pulls away he leans up against Gabriel, their foreheads meet and arms wrap around each other when the day gives way to full darkness. Dean is happy and he can sense it with him being so close and so permanent.

"But I'm ready to fight," Dean suddenly speaks. "I'm sick of being afraid, of not being able to do anything. It's bullshit."

He looks at Dean carefully, "I know you are. And I've got your back… always."

The archangel just wishes that he wouldn't have to fight is all. Wouldn't have to put his precious human on the line and just hope he'll have the strength to protect him from all the darkness the world holds.

They'll worry about that tomorrow though. This moment's too important to interrupt now.

TDTDTD

When Balthazar finishes speaking the confessions that he hates to remember, let alone talk about, he wishes he wouldn't have told Sam anything. Wishes that he would have just kept Gabriel's little secret and gone about his day refusing to tell the youngest Winchester anything because now he is angry and worried and so human that Balthazar can't stand seeing it.

That's why when he's done he walks away, to look outside the window that reveals nothing to his searching eyes, away from the Winchester that he can barely look at now, now that he's told it all.

"Well, wait a minute," Sam stands up but he doesn't look back. "Balthazar, you can't just tell me that and not expect me to get pissed and worried. I want to see, Dean. Right now, I want to see him!"

Why am I even here? Why do I care in the first place about two boys who ended up getting me killed not so very long ago at all. It doesn't make any sense, then again, neither do Gabriel's actions.

"Sam, your brother is safe," his fingers brush against the drapes, visions of clouds swirling around in his head like overstuffed pillows made of cotton candy. He tries to block out the pain of the words, of the memories but that was always one thing about Gabriel, the one thing that could aggravate him so much and it was that you couldn't forget what he told you, what he showed you. Even if you couldn't believe him in your right mind, you still knew it was Gabriel and that was that.

He was an archangel, pure and simple, and the way he looked upon things, humans, was envied by his kind, would always be because archangels weren't only stronger, they were smarter, quick observers, experts at just about everything except human emotions, of course. The one area that could never be conquered.

Maybe that was what Gabriel wanted to understand now, and Balthazar had this not so very trivial at all fear that in order to reach that goal, one would have to fall.

Then again, Gabriel had already fallen in a sense and had instantly become a victim to the human's emotions, a slave to his uniqueness and his ways and means that were as misunderstood as the archangel was to the angel. But Balthazar figured he understood Gabriel just a little more now. And it was the most amazing feeling, having what was equivalent to storm clouds that he thought could never be crossed, now a witness to their dissipation and it wasn't only that, he was on his way to recognizing human feelings too, and it was both frightening and awe-inspiring.

He wanted to feel, share the experience because he couldn't allow himself to be more than a witness alone.

Sam was here, Sam was human and going through so much right now and he wanted, he just needed to have a morsel of that.

Balthazar never could understand why the archangel left it all behind, now that's all he could understand. There had been so much longing and so much that he never could have hope of knowing about humanity if he was refused the privilege, the necessity to experience it himself. Gabriel hadn't even abandoned his home because he wanted a brief yet monumental taste of it, he had only left to run, hid himself away in tainted lies and it had been sickening to Balthazar back then but now? Despite how frustrating humans were, how painful they were to watch but even more to be around, it was unlike anything.

Sam wouldn't be able to see this though, if anything, it would be the last thing he would figure out.

All the more fun for the angel.

"I don't care if he's safe or not. Does he even know?"

Balthazar hangs his head a little, having broken away from the ephemeral dream and Sam scoffs, looks away angrily and plops back down on the bed, doesn't respond when Balthazar says his name.

"Sam!"

"What?"

"I'm on your side."

If anything's true that is because he can't leave now, wouldn't be able to stand himself.

Sam lays down on the bed, closes his eyes for a split second and the next time they open Balthazar is still at the window, face still blank and Sam searches it despite the distance they have between them. He knows what he just said wasn't a lie, but now he doesn't know if he can trust Gabriel or not. Dean is the person that means the most to him and he will never trust or place anyone before him. He'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe, even if it means killing everyone in his path.

"Gabriel won't hurt Dean. I'm sure of it."

"And how can I be sure of you?"

He doesn't expect an answer, he just turns over on his side cause he doesn't want to look at the angel anymore, wants to be left alone or be back with his brother. He needs to know what Dean's doing right now, needs proof not assurances that Gabriel won't try something. Sam wishes that if he were to go to the window and look out of it, that he would see Dean, smiling, saying he's fine like he always does and telling him Gabe's okay. He doesn't have any murderous intents for either of them.

There's silence and he hates it, his mind goes over Gabriel's supposed look at Dean, his thoughts of how unimportant he was, his words that someday he would be assigned to kill Sam but it would be all the same if it was the other way around.

He can't imagine what could draw the archangel to like Dean now, doesn't want to try to imagine it, just wants him to leave so he doesn't have to worry about his brother constantly and the mess he's getting himself into.

"You wanted to know, Sam. I'm sorry if I disappointed you."

"No," Sam feels loss and it's molding into something stronger with each pressing moment. "I disappointed myself."

When he dreams, he dreams the strangest things.

TDTDTD

Dean falls asleep after a while, his head a dead, yet so incredibly comforting weight on Gabriel's shoulder. He doesn't have the energy, not even to put Dean into a better position and he'd be afraid to wake him even if he did.

Gabriel maneuvers his jacket off very carefully, slides it across Dean's shoulders and wraps it tightly around him, kissing his forehead gently before his attention is back on the lake and so many other things he'd just appreciate to put off for a few years at least. This is the perfect moment, to think about everything he's done so far and all that he still needs to do. Now that he's one-hundred percent positive that Dean, the person he loves the most and is no longer afraid to admit it to himself and the world and heaven, is safe and happy and sleeping peacefully, he'll waste the night away in memories and future moments he may one day be able to share with the human leaning against him.

He skips a rock into the lake, watches the full moon shimmer on the cool and quiet surface of the water, hears Dean snuffle and move around a little before relaxing back against the archangel again. He wraps an arm tighter around him and runs a hand briefly through his hair before realizing the most important thing of all: he needs to tell Dean, everything, that nothing else matters but his love for Dean and the ways he's willing to put that unbelievably human emotion on display, is actually excited to.

Everyone may stand in the way and yet it doesn't matter anymore because they're of no use.

They'll just have to keep on trying and failing and trying again because I will heal Dean, and I will love him because there is nothing else in this human life I'm on the brink of leading that could ever matter except for the steady pressure against my shoulder. The unwavering presence that fights so hard just to hang onto his sanity and his deepening feelings for me.

Oh, Dean, you're so beautiful. You just don't get it do you?

He smiles, keeps on fighting back the urge to kiss Dean's eyelids senselessly until his eyes drift open, because he wants to see the first emotion that will register in them. He wants to love Dean with no break, no time for rest or reprieve, wants to just give it all away and more and…

Gabriel snaps back to reality, listens to the human's steady and perfect breathing, the slight puff of air from his slightly parted mouth through his shirt.

He's starting to feel the cold now but it doesn't matter, he can't leave this place and everything that it means. Can't stop, turn his back on what he has to have now. He's had his eyes set on Dean for so long and it no longer burns to give into that lust; it no longer feels right to just walk away and pretend none of this exists.

The archangel's made up his mind, he'll speak his mind tomorrow, say exactly what he wants and what he's willing to give.

He curls up closer to Dean, breathing in his one of a kind scent and planting kisses in his hair. It's surprising how much mere gestures mean to him now. Doesn't matter if he's getting or giving.

It's looking up to be a gorgeous morning.

TDTDTD

It's almost like someone gave him dream root or something, for how utterly real all this feels. He doesn't even know what the dream's supposed to be about, just has a distinct feeling that it's not one his subconscious came up with. It's definitely been sent to him, though how he doesn't know and would love to know just so he could throttle the person and complain that he can't even get a decent night's sleep anymore. As said before, he has no clue what its purpose is, whether it's meant to show him something or just taunt him until he wants to gouge his eyes out with spoons. He ends up exploring for what seems like several hours before something draws him further into the town.

The town is anything but vacant, there are people everywhere but they pay no attention to him, not even when he brushes into them accidentally or intentionally, not even when they crash into him. Not that it's surprising or anything, it is a dream and dreams are weird.

He sighs, lets his instincts push himself deeper into the streets and among the growing horde of people. It almost seems like there's too many but he doesn't turn back, Sam's certainly not intimidated or scared or anything like that, he's merely curious and freaked out enough to keep him alert and wishing more than anything that Dean was beside him like he should always be, like there never even needs to be a question about it.

And that's when he sees him, upon thinking of Dean, sees Gabriel.

Only, this doesn't seem like Gabriel at all. Not even Loki for that matter.

He trails the guy, careful to keep a good distance but his curiosity gets the better of him after awhile and he almost gets himself caught. Almost, not quite though.

This guy's vibe, the way he walks and greets other people on the street proves immediately that this isn't an archangel or a demigod for that matter. He is the exact person Sam's looking for though.

When he heads into a bakery, Sam first considers waiting outside before thinking better of it and going in. The guy just seems so cheerful and human, without a single troubling thought on his mind and it puzzles Sam, especially when he starts whistling after grabbing his steaming hot cup of coffee and grabs a crossword puzzle book out of his back pocket, followed by a pencil that was lodged behind his ear. Sam sits at a nearby table astonished, trying to grab the smallest morsel of information from this but what is he even supposed to be looking for? The guy is completely oblivious and it isn't just because he couldn't see Sam even if he wanted to, he's just completely lost in his own little 'crossword puzzle' world and it's so fascinating to watch for merely a few moments, to forget about his own life and his own problems just to see someone else not worn down by life in the slightest bit.

He thinks he's headed in the right direction when he assumes that this is Gabriel's vessel, and Loki's for that matter, though he still doesn't really get it because how could they possess the same person at the same time? It just makes no…

Wait a minute...

Sam cautiously looks around, still can't seem to grasp onto the fact that no one can see him and what an advantage that really is. He isn't an idiot though, as if it's all gonna stay this easy. He thinks hard about what Balthazar told him, tries to find a loophole somewhere.

Someone starts talking near him and he looks up on instinct, sees nothing but two people having a conversation at a nearby table. He barely gives them a glance before focusing on him. The pencil in his grip is moving at a rapid pace and after a while the Winchester gets tired of watching him, almost wishes he could order a cup of coffee even though the money that's supposed to be in his back pocket isn't there and it'd basically be like talking to a brick wall. Sam looks around the cafe, watches the people come and go, becomes engrossed in a short-lived argument at the front counter between an employee and a frustrated customer.

Arguing over coffee, really? Buddy, you should see what problems I've got, let alone live with them from day to day.

"Hey."

He looks up wildly because the voice is so near that he must be talking to him. True enough, he is, and even more strange and awesome than that is that it's the guy he's been watching going on for twenty minutes now. He doesn't even have time to wonder how he can see him because he's blown away and has way too many questions for just these few short minutes.

Plus, his dream could end any minute now.

Sam decides to try it anyway, "Gabriel?"

The guy instantly looks confused and lets his undivided attention towards Sam go for a minute to look behind and around him. "Who?"

He stares at the person who's not Gabriel for a few moments, tries to figure out if there's any trace of a poker face that he needs to break through. That's just it though, there's nothing and he can't say whether he's more tense or more relaxed.

"Never mind. What can I do for you?"

He looks at him curiously but wears a light smile on his face, "You're not from around here are you?"

"Uh... no. What does that have to do with anything though?"

The guy smiles wider and briefly touches Sam's shoulder, "It's fine. You're welcome as much as everyone else is. We love new people so come drop by and see us if you ever feel like it."

And with that he leaves and Sam can do nothing but stare after him in shock before reading the card that was so discretely placed into his hand.

Wait a minute… the guy works for a church in town?

Which would make sense considering angels need a vessel, a person who not only believes in a higher power but chooses that fate for themselves. Too bad they're not told all the details of that choice.

Or are given the chance to live to see the mistakes of this decision.

He remembers Jimmy for the first time in ages, remembers his bloodied corpse forced unwillingly into the river and all that happened after that. He's barely had time to think about him with all that's been going on for the past couple of years, but he can't help but painfully do so now. He feels bad for him, so sorry but it was also what he chose.

If he had only known exactly what he was getting himself into.

Same with this guy. The things Gabriel would do to him without his permission.

Sam shivers a little before turning away from the window and sitting back in his chair, relaxing a little because he doesn't have much time to do it in real life and has to take it when he can.

Maybe I will go. Maybe I'll find out everything there is to know about you…

He glances down at the card to read it again.

Steven Dancer.

"Sound pansy. Guess Gabriel didn't have much of a choice though."

And with that he smiles at his first clue and soars back up to consciousness.

TDTDTD

"You're not doing this are you?"

Balthazar tears his eyes away from the window, his vessel's forehead wrinkling up in confusion, suspicion and worry. "Doing what?" He makes a move to come nearer but the human doesn't pay him any mind, merely lays back down and places his hands behind his head. If he's gonna be stuck here he might as well learn something.

Sam smiles for a brief moment, is so happy he's in the loop, even if Balthazar does end up knowing everything already, just before he drops back down into dreamland again.

This time, there is no cafe or bustling streets to join and explore. There's trees swaying in the wind and comfortable silence sometimes mingled with soft voices and laughing. It seems so peaceful that he just wants to drift for a while. He can't though, he needs to know what's going on with his limited time.

Sam opens his eyes and scans the small groups of people gathered here and there, excitedly chattering or merely smiling and nodding. They don't pay any mind to him and Sam assumes that none of them can see him, like before, until a young girl comes rushing up to him, places fingers on his forehead and...

He blacks out.

TDTDTD

Dean can't help but smile as he slowly drifts up to consciousness. Opening his eyes is too tiresome at this point, he merely focuses on the warmth of Gabriel pressed up tightly against him. It's beyond comfortable and perfect, and he never wants to leave the archangel's embrace, he doubts he would find anything else he'd rather spend his time doing.

"You gonna lie there pretending to be asleep for another hour or what?"

The hunter smiles wider and lets his eyes flip open, now easier than before after all of his other senses have slowly adjusted to his surroundings. "Just want to enjoy you while I can." While I'm still alive, before I get sucked into another even bigger mess.

"You'll always be here to enjoy me, Dean. I'll always be here with you." Dean groans in bliss at that and presses himself even tighter into Gabriel's embrace, and the archangel proves his adoration by nuzzling his head against Dean's own. More than anything, the hunter wants to feel Gabriel's wings wrapping around him. He has no idea what the sensation could feel like, the things that it would do to him, start up in him, and he won't bring it up because of the pain it would no doubt cause Gabriel. But he still thinks about it, still dreams about it, even though not being able to see an angel's wings probably means no to the touching thing too.

He can't even begin to tell Gabriel how appreciative he is of him just giving up his wings like that. There are no possible words to thank him for it, and Dean knows he will never ever be able to repay the favor, no matter the degree of his wanting. He's merely showing his thanks now by not bringing it up, knowing Gabriel will forever hold inside the emptiness and there's not a damn thing he can do about that. He's also working on showering Gabriel with affection, trying trying trying to be better, be stronger, and now, with Gabriel right here, he's determined more than ever before.

"By the way," Gabriel starts to pull away a little and Dean sits up, coming to a complete consciousness that he partly hates and partly loves. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

Dean stands up, gaging his surroundings. He rubs his neck in disappointment, eyes Gabriel curiously though not suspiciously, "Now?"

Gabriel nods, "Now." And Dean can tell that this is something that can't wait, not for another minute.

"Dean!"

The older Winchester starts at the sound of his voice being called back near where the motel is. His ears strain for more sound, but not for long before he starts running. Sam...

Gabriel hangs back for a second, pissed and jealous, but he realizes he better not be stupid enough by letting Dean out of his sight for another second, aware of the danger that surrounds him everywhere and a whole hell of a lot of it is due to the archangel. He walks first but then runs, missing Dean more than he had ever thought possible.

TDTDTD

Sam sees Dean up ahead and starts walking, desperate to touch him, to confirm he's real and not just a twisted figment of his imagination. When he reaches Dean, he slams his entire body into him like he's done only a few times before, holding Dean tightly and refusing to let him go. He lets himself sink deeply into his big brother's embrace. After everything the both of them have been through, they still have each other. They will always have each other.

He opens his eyes after several long moments and notices Gabriel, standing off to the side and just watching them, smiling lightly and Sam pulls himself away from Dean and heads over to him. Gabriel holds out his hand, presumably to shake and Sam wants to hit him for being so stupid, for acting like he isn't a part of their family, their brotherhood now. He grabs the archangel and engulfs him into a gigantic hug. Thank you, for protecting my brother, for giving me hope.

It takes a few minutes, but Gabriel's hands eventually reach Sam's back and they pat it awkwardly, Sam can't help but laugh at that. He never wants this moment to end, and when Balthazar steps out from the depths of the motel room and walks over to them, seeming as happy and as relived as Sam is, he has hope that maybe it won't end. They all belong here, they'll all protect one another from now on. He throws his suspicions to the side, suddenly regretting them now.

Sam smiles and fights to hold back tears at the sight of his new family.

TDTDTD

Dean settles himself and Gabriel into his bedroom and shuts the door firmly behind him, fully prepared on giving Gabriel more of his time. He had wanted to talk about something before, and Dean is more than just curious at what it is.

It's too bad that he can't even get decent words out before Gabriel is tackling him down onto the bed and starting to pull his clothes off. As pleased as Dean is that this is happening, the words 'bad timing' won't stop screaming across his mind and he curses himself for not being in the mood for this right now, hates himself for what he's about to do: give the impression that he doesn't want the archangel when that's all that Dean wants. Gabriel.

"Wait," he pushes Gabriel away only minutely, "you wanted to talk to me about something before."

"Nah," Gabriel shoves him off and presses himself closer to Dean, focusing back on his previous intentions. "Nothing important, can wait until later..."

"No," Dean demands forcefully right back at him. "Tell me now."

"I just love it when you take control, Deano." Dean rolls his eyes at that and then rolls away from Gabriel, though not far enough to not be within reaching distance of the archangel. He never wants to be that far away from Gabriel again. He wants to build a life with him, make up for all the lost time, show Gabriel his dedication towards him and only him. He's getting his strength back and he wants to do this, be strong for Gabriel, be everything Gabriel needs and infinitely more than that. And if Dean didn't have such a low impression of himself at this point, he wouldn't be thinking about exactly this as much as he does.

He can't seem to resist the hunger he finds in his eyes. "You seem to think it can wait now. So maybe," he brushes his fingers along Gabriel's upper arm, showing him he reciprocates his intentions, "this can wait for a minute longer. Right?"

"Right." Gabriel nods and sighs with bliss, bringing his hand up to cup Dean's cheek and smile. However did he find such a perfect human being?

"What are you thinking about?"

Gabriel smirks, "You. I want to buy a house and make love to you fifty times a day and never tire from staring at you. You are so beautiful, Dean. You have no idea what you do to me, you're driving me so crazy right now. But, but I should tell you something, because we shouldn't keep secrets anymore, we can't keep lying. I don't want to lie to you, Dean, I want to be straight with you." But I also can't have you hating me. "I need to tell you that I..."

The two jump simultaneously on the bed as they hear the sound of breaking glass outside the door. Dean quickly slips his shirt back on and heads out of the room. Gabriel stares after him and sighs, rubbing a hand across his face roughly, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to throw something at the door to startle Dean into coming right back in here. He decides to wait, figuring Sam broke something, clumsy moose he is.

After a few minutes, he can't wait anymore though. He groans, climbing out of bed slowly and approaching Dean as he kneels on the ground, staring at shards of broken glass. "What's wrong?"

"Sam and Balthazar," Dean responds, looking up at Gabriel with those immensely emotional hazel eyes Gabriel so adores, "they're gone."

TDTDTD

Dean calls Sam's cell phone about a zillion times, but somehow he doubts that he's in decent range to use it. He sighs, sick of all this bullshit, of everyone disappearing constantly; he throws his phone down on the table and collapses on the couch, waiting for Gabriel, who headed out about twenty minutes back to survey the surrounding area.

"Nope," Dean jumps and curses at the sudden crushing of the intense silence that he was only just starting to sink into. "Nothing around."

"Well, I could have told you that," Dean says, annoyed. "Think I should buy you a bell and hang it around your neck, so you don't try to give me a heart-attack again."

The archangel climbs on top of Dean, "Now now, Deano. You would sorely miss me if I didn't pop in at every possible moment to surprise you. Besides, I think it's far more likely to have a heart attack in the midst of the wild sex I'm about ready to give you." He waggles his eyebrows at Dean and something warm starts to grow deep down inside of him, spreading out to every other part of his body and settling down below. Fuck, he hasn't felt this good in ages, and with Gabriel so painfully and gloriously close, he isn't even thinking about Loki or Lucifer or Michael. The images dissipate every time Gabriel's warm amber eyes catch and hold his own.

But then he thinks about Sam and how he owes him not to do this right now. Not to lose himself in Gabriel right now. He needs to find Sam.

"No, Gabriel," he shoves Gabriel away and it feels like the hundredth time that day. "I am not going to take advantage of this situation and turn it into this. The archangel crosses his arms and starts to pout at that, but somewhere deep down inside, Gabriel knows Dean's right, even though he's extremely bored and at a loss given this situation and really does just want to take advantage of the current moment, where they're alone and Dean is so close to him, so much stronger and he just wants to shove him down into the couch and have his way with him. But he still says, "Fine," and flicks the TV on. At least the hunter lets him do that.

He eyes Dean as he gets up and wanders into the kitchen, "You hungry? Cause I can whip ya up something, kiddo."

"Maybe, yeah, I don't know," Dean throws his arms up into the air, exasperated and so freaking confused and pissed and at a loss for whether he should be giving Gabriel something he wants, like he promised himself, or just go curl up on the bed and go back to sleep, saying fuck consciousness. He collapses at the breakfast bar and puts his head in his hands, only looking up when he hears noises in the kitchen before him. "Thought you could just whip something up?" He can't help but smile at the sight of Gabriel; he's so perfect, he's everything Dean wants, and he's getting really horny right about now watching him turn the stove on and take various pots and pans and plates and silverware out.

Gabriel shrugs, "I'm bored." He takes out some eggs, bread, and what looks deliciously to be bacon. Dean licks his lips and listens to his stomach growling painfully, it would be Gabriel to make him realize how hungry he truly is. He can't even remember the last time he ate.

"Gabe...," he starts to get up but Gabriel gives him one of those looks that he can't possibly ignore and responds, "Don't, Dean, just relax. Let me make something for you to eat, we can talk later. It's fine."

Dean nods, letting himself relax and vowing to put Gabriel on the top of his list today. He sinks back into the seat upon realizing that he has the rest of the day, and stares at Gabriel dreamily, imagining the happiness that will lie firmly in Gabriel's eyes, the surprise and love and craving for more. He wants to listen to Gabriel screaming out his name in lust, like it's the only word the archangel cares about anymore. He wants to climb on top of Gabriel and...

"Pancakes okay with you too?"

Dean nods, licking his lips this time at Gabriel and not the food.

Shit, he's not gonna make it.

TDTDTD

He eats his breakfast quickly, pleased at his appetite returning just as Gabriel is, and even though the archangel has no need to eat, he still engages in it to please Dean. And it does please him, to no end. Dean never imagined that Gabriel could cook so perfectly, and he moans in pleasure every second he can because it's damn delicious and fuck it, Gabriel deserves every little gesture of never-ending appreciation he can give him, and he wants him to know that he is so very very wanted at every moment Dean is alive and breathing.

Gabriel just smiles, scoots closer and pushes a great deal of the food on his own plate onto Dean's. Dean accepts it and shoves it down with a nice cold glass of milk. "You are so fucking fantastic, you know that? How the hell did you learn how to cook like this?" He asks with his mouth full, and Gabriel lifts up his thumb before thinking better of it and uses his tongue instead to lick off some of the blackberry jam on the side of his mouth and spilling down to his chin. He moans in pleasure at the taste of it and wraps his arms around Dean, kissing him senselessly, wondering how long they can keep this up for before they have to separate again. Cause he is, willing to keep this up that is, for hours if luck will let him.

"Had plenty of time to learn, kiddo. Glad you're enjoying."

Dean glances back at him hungrily and growls into the archangel's ear, "I want you." I want you so badly you have no idea. I have so much to give you, and we have so much time...

"What?"

"You heard what I said," Dean responds huskily, his lips brushing his cheek and it's setting him alight. There's a fierce fire of lust burning its way through him, and he moans when Dean's hand slips below the waistband of his pants, locks their mouths together again and revels at how Dean seems to genuinely want this, wants to say fuck the world for one day and spend the time with him. He pulls the hunter's shirt off, and almost completely melts into Dean when he just can't stop moaning in ecstasy at the perfection of Dean's body and being.

"I know, I just want you to say it again." Dean smiles and shoves him into the bedroom, slamming the door shut because of habit even though no one else is around.

"I want you," Dean relents, and then he lets himself go completely.

TDTDTD

Gabriel awakens to Dean sitting up in bed abruptly, causing the bed to creak and his labored breathing to occupy the eerily quiet room. "Nightmare?" He curls around Dean without waiting for a response, snuggling into his chest, letting the feel of him to ground the hunter. Dean calms down, his breathing slowing down just like Gabriel knew it would. He lies back down next to Gabriel hesitantly, pushing himself further into his chosen mate.

"I'm hungry again." Gabriel only shakes his head at that and smiles, loving how much he and the eldest Winchester are alike. He couldn't want anything else, his brother, Michael, could never understand this because he had never felt it. Giving away his wings or losing Dean was no choice at all, he'd do it over and over if it meant Dean could stay with him like this forever.

Somehow though, he thinks he won't get forever.

TDTDTD

He rolls off of Gabriel unwillingly and would have crashed to the floor if Gabriel had not grabbed onto him, when Balthazar suddenly appears out of nowhere, panting and with Sam nowhere in sight.

"Oh good," the angel sighs in relief as he takes in the sight of the hunter and his archangel cuddled up together in bed. He's happy for the both of them, he really is, but they've got bigger problems to deal with. Not to mention, if he could get his bloody breath back maybe he could drill that fact into their super thick skulls. "I managed to get to the right place this time."

"Balthazar...," Dean gasps, scooting off the bed but going no closer. "What happened? Where the hell have you been?"

"Michael. That son of a bitch is unrelenting." Dean shakes the image Balthazar just put into his head, knowing the angel must have said that sentence wrong.

"What happened?" Gabriel demands, unsure what Balthazar being out of breath exactly means, watching him sit down on a chair and clutch his chest. Dean rushes over at that and places his hand on the angel's shoulder, his unspoken 'are you okay?' reverberating loudly throughout the room. Balthazar nods at the Winchester to confirm that he's alright, that he'll live, and places a hand on top of Dean's, which still sits on his shoulder, a gesture of appreciation and friendship.

"Balthazar!"

"Yes, Gabriel." He rolls his eyes and becomes relieved at his breathing beginning to return back to normal. He hasn't exerted himself that much since he doesn't know when. It's actually sort of refreshing, but the angel's more than willing to move past it now. "Alright. I tried to protect Sam but..." He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, not because he'll be sending Sam's brother into a panic, but because he has said his own stupid failure out loud. If he can't protect Sam, what good is he? Whatever punishment Dean wants to serve to him, he'll take it.

He can't ever be given enough time. He still hasn't told Sam anything, nothing that's been on his mind, afraid he'll freak out and judge him for forgetting about all of Dean's and Gabriel's issues. Sam doesn't know how much he means to Balthazar, he doesn't know how much the angel misses him. And even though Balthazar feels more guilt than jealously over Gabriel getting what he wants, since he's fully aware of all the shit the archangel has had to get through to make Dean his own, he feels like breaking something or merely just obliterating the room they're in at this moment.

They'd be fine, except Dean... Dean's still human, so he better get those thoughts out of his head before Gabriel latches onto them.

"But what?" Dean cuts in. "What happened to Sam?"

"I told you, Michael happened. I thought I put him in a safe place, but your dick brother," he glances over at Gabriel, "managed to find us anyway."

"What about you?"

He stares at Dean intently, "What about me?"

"Why didn't he take you?"

Balthazar scoffs, "How the hell would I know? Hell, I'd rather be with Sam right now. Listen, I figured you two needed some bloody good time alone, so I decided to take Sam and..."

"Yeah, and what right did you have to do that, Balthazar?" Dean accuses, blinded by rage and disbelief at the situation.

"You stupid, selfish...," he shakes his head at Dean and figures he's too exhausted to continue on with his insults. "I was trying to do something decent for you and your pretty little archangel over there, and all you do is throw it right back in my face." Dean raises his eyebrows, actually surprised that Balthazar would care enough to do that. He swallows down more snarky comments, sick of talking and wanting to act.

"You know where Michael took him?"

"No. But I suspect Gabriel does. He did want his baby brother to follow him after all." The two glance over at Gabriel curiously, and Dean waits patiently for him to say something, but clearly he has virtually no patience left.

"Gabe...," he starts but then a nagging thought forms in his head. Shit, he can't let Gabriel go alone, and knowing Gabriel, that's exactly what he's going to do. "Don't, okay?" He climbs back up on the bed and overcrowds the archangel, making sure he's the only thing he sees in his line of vision. "We just managed to find each other again and you're gonna take off, just like that?" Gabriel looks straight at him and smiles fondly, trying to burn the hunter's face into his vision forever, running his fingers through Dean's hair. He reciprocates Dean's feelings exactly, the last thing he wants to do is leave now, but he also isn't going to be greedy. He managed to steal some time with Dean, it doesn't matter that it wasn't enough.

"Don't wait up for me, kiddo." He vanishes and Dean wants to tear out all his hair, hell, gouge out his eyes at the unbearable emptiness of the room, but instead settles for sending Balthazar an accusing stare and walking out of the room, needing some serious time alone. Cause if he can't be with Gabriel, he doesn't want to be with anyone at all.

To be continued..