A/N: This is a story having to do with the popular tumblr theory (I'll call it a theory, though there might be a better word) that believes Rory, Sugar, and Harmony to be Klaine's, Brittana's, and Faberry's respective children. I've been watching a lot of How I Met Your Mother, hence the title. Even though Kurt and Rory obviously aren't a ship - I don't think I can think of them as one after writing this *creys* - and Rory will have a relationship with someone else, that someone else isn't a main character until a while later, while Kurt and Rory are the most main characters right now. I might change it later.

Warnings and pairings upfront, because I know some are deal breakers or deal makers for some people :) If you don't want Rory's love interest to be spoiled, skip over this; I'll never mention it again in an author's note, so it'll still be a surprise.

Warnings: Slash is the biggest one, obviously. Also, underage drinking, physical abuse via bullies, and other similiar issues like that, that Glee deals with on a pretty regular basis.

Pairings: Klaine, Faberry, Brittana, highschool!Finchel (as it is now in canon), Sory, possibly others that are slipping my mind but I'll come back and add later if need be ^^

Enjoy!

When I was fifteen, I thought I knew how everything in the world worked. I thought I knew about love, even though I had never been with anyone before. I thought I knew about friendship – I had two best friends that I spent every moment I could with. I thought I knew about my parents – they were your typical protective, embarrassing, overly-affectionate type, who came to every sports game and recital, and volunteered to be the room parents every year. I also didn't believe in fate, or extra-realities. As such, I definitely didn't believe in circular time, even though Papa and I have watched every episode of Doctor Who – yes, every episode – and I must have seen Back to the Future too many times to count. But I'll get to that later.

All of that changed in a single day. It all started on Halloween of the year 2033. That was when everything I knew suddenly began to morph into something else. I learned about life. I learned about friendship. I learned about fate. Most important, I learned about love.

My name is Rory Hummel-Anderson, and this is the story of how I met my fathers.

New York City, 2033

Over the years, Rory had perfected the puppy face. It was one of the things he had inherited from his Papa. His Daddy always said that Rory inherited his Papa's smile, presence, and puppy eyes, while he had his Daddy's looks. Now, he was giving both of his fathers his best puppy face.

"It isn't even sunset yet," Rory explained. "I'll make it to their hotel before night and I can stay the night so I won't have to come back in the dark!"

"Rory," began Blaine, Rory's Papa, "I'm not sure. It's a tradition for you to come trick-or-treating with us and Seamus."

"Papa, I'm a sophomore in high school," Rory begged. "Ever since Aunt Santana and Aunt Brittany moved away to California, Harmony and I hardly ever get to see Sugar!"

Blaine bit his lip and Kurt fixed their son with a level gaze. He wasn't sure where Rory got his direct persuasive approach from. He had always gotten what he wanted in a more sneaky way, and Blaine usually took his dues without complaint. Perhaps it was a perfect mix of their two personalities that had made Rory what he was. Four years after Kurt and Blaine had gotten married, science had one of its biggest breakthroughs ever. It had allowed same sex parents to have their own, biological children. Immediately after the initial tests, Kurt, Blaine and their two closest same sex couple friends had put their names on the list.

Nine months later, as Rachel and Quinn welcomed Harmony and Brittany and Santana welcomed Sugar, Kurt and Blaine welcomed Rory. Rory was, of course, right about Sugar and Harmony. They did need to spend time together while they could. They'd been practically inseparable since birth.

Kurt turned to exchange a brief look with Blaine. Fatherhood had been good to Blaine. He was level-headed, fair, and good-tempered. As he fixed Seamus in his tiny Dalton blazer, Blaine looked up at his husband and smiled slowly. He shrugged one shoulder as if to say, what can you do?

"You can go," Kurt said, raising his eyebrows at Rory as his oldest son jumped and punched the air in victory. "Straight to Santana and Brittany's though Rory, I'm not kidding. New York City can be dangerous, especially on Halloween, and we don't want you getting hurt."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n," Rory said enthusiastically in his best fake Irish accent, tipping his shamrock covered top hat at Kurt.

In spite of himself, Kurt couldn't help but laugh. "You could go into voice-acting with that silly accent one day," he said to Rory, catching his arm to halt his progress and allow him to plant a kiss on his son's forehead before he left.

"Text us when you get there safely," Blaine said, following Kurt's lead and kissing their son's head. "Don't forget!"

"I won't!" Rory promised, giving =his little brother a pat on the head and waving to his two fathers as he left their home.

Kurt and Blaine watched him walk away with beaming faces. "Do you remember when he couldn't even walk?" Blaine reminisced. "He rolled around to get places. We had to block off the stairs in case he rolled down them.

Kurt sighed and wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist. "Do I ever," he said. His head dropped to rest on Blaine's shoulder and he nuzzled his nose into Blaine's sweater. "It doesn't seem like that long ago. Are we really that old?"

"Well, we'll always be young at heart," Blaine said optimistically, lifting a hand to tug on one of the curls of Kurt's wig. Silence settled over the embracing pair. "You don't think we should have dressed Seamus as Tobey, do you?"

"He wanted to wear the blazer," Kurt said with a chuckle, looking over at their toddling son, who was surveying his reflection in a mirror. "Besides, Tobey kills Sweeney. Let's not tempt fate."

"I think you and me as Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd is tempting fate as it is," Blaine laughing, tipping Kurt's face upward to plant a soft kiss on his lips.

"I make a beautiful Helena Bonham Carter!" Kurt protested.

"And I make a dashing Johnny Depp," Blaine said, straightening up and laughing. "That reminds me of the time we dressed up as gay pirates, 'because gay cowboys have already been done, thanks a lot Ang Lee'. I can't believe I let you talk me into this stuff."

"Mmm, but you love it," Kurt said, stealing another kiss.

"Yes," Blaine admitted, reluctantly pulling away and digging up Seamus's trick-or-treating bag. "That I do. Always."

Half an hour later, Rory was knocking on the door of a hotel room and sending off a quick text to both his Daddy and Papa to confirm his safety. He hardly got a glimpse of his friends between the moment the door swung open and the moment he was suddenly being bombarded by a near bone-breaking hug.

"Sugar," Rory squeaked, out of breath. "It hasn't been that long since we've seen each other."

"Your poufy hair must be sapping the memory reserves from your brain," Sugar said, pulling away and smiling at him. "It's been since Easter holiday."

"She's right." Harmony, a few feet away, was also smiling. "My moms and I went to California once over the summer but we haven't all been together since last spring." She beamed largely and wrapped an arm around each of her friends. "The trio, together again!" Her eyes grew mischievous. "Speaking of our trio, Sugar had a little idea while we were waiting for you."

"I had the idea ages ago, because I'm awesome," Sugar informed them. "I only told you about it while we were waiting for Rory." She turned to Rory, face excited. "I know this guy in California," she began.

Rory groaned and broke off from them to walk into the Lopez-Pierce's large hotel rooms and flop onto the nearest couch. "Ideas that begin with 'I know this guy in California' are never good ideas."

"You are such a dud," Harmony said, throwing her hands up.

"Give it a chance," Sugar said. Without waiting for an answer, she continued. "I know this guy in California that specializes in…uhm…well, you know, fraudulent type things."

"No," Rory said immediately.

"This is why you don't have a girlfriend," Harmony informed him, poking Rory on the chest sharply.

"Harmony, give him a chance." At Sugar's request, Harmony held up her hands and sat back. "I called him just in case." Her smile grew. "Just in case the three of us wanted to have a little fun this Halloween."

"Breaking the law is not fun," Rory said. "Inevitably getting caught, thrown in jail for the night, and having to get bailed out by our parents will not be fun."

"We're fifteen," Harmony said. "They won't throw us in jail."

Sugar, not listening, dug in one of her suitcases before shouting, "ah hah!" and pulling out three bits of plastic.

"Please don't tell me those are what I think they are," Rory said, hardly daring to look at the small cards. Carefully, he took the one Sugar offered him and groaned when he saw what was there. "You stole my picture to put on a fake ID. I do not look like a Stephen Phillips!" He looked up at his two friends…his two reckless, impulsive, definitely crazy friends. "I thought Aunt Brittany and Aunt Santana said the hotel was having a youth Halloween party. We were supposed to go to that."

"That's where they'll think we are," Sugar explained, "which is the brilliance of my awesome plan. "Your dads and Harmony's moms think that you're here at this hotel, at the youth party. Uncle Blaine and Uncle Kurt will be out with Seamus so they'll be busy. Both of my moms went with Aunt Quinn and Aunt Rachel to their Halloween party…I fail to see where this could go wrong."

Rory stared at Sugar, trying to contemplate which plans her brain saw because his brain saw a million places things could go wrong with this one. But that was how it had always been with the three of them. Sugar was the impulsive one. Harmony was the outgoing one. Rory was the anchor that held them both in place and tried to make sure none of them ended up getting killed. "Where…exactly would we be going?" Rory asked cautiously.

Both Harmony and Sugar let out excited squeals – they knew the battle was won. "I know just the place," Harmony said with a toothy grin.

"This is not the place," Rory said. The three of them were standing outside of something…a bar, a club; Rory wasn't exactly sure what it was. He, of course, had come with his leprechaun costume on, as he had expected to go downstairs to the youth party. Harmony had changed into her costume – Victoria Grant/Count Victor Grazinski circa "Le Jazz Hot!" Rory didn't think that was the best idea. He wouldn't want people debating the possibility of him being a man or a woman all night. Sugar had pulled out one of her mom's old Cheerios outfits to wear. A leprechaun, a cross dresser, and a cheerleader made a strange group making their way through New York streets on Halloween night.

"Stop thinking for once," Harmony advised him, pulling out her ID, grabbing Rory's arm, and hauling him toward the building.

"Not thinking is what gets people abandoned in gutters half dead," Rory bemoaned. "Oh, my dads are going to kill me."

"You think your dads never did anything fun?" Sugar asked. "Come on Rory, everyone was a teenager once – and only once."

"I am going to regret this…if I live to be able to regret anything ever again," Rory said pessimistically. Two heads were shaken at him, and he tried to adopt his most adult expression as they entered. He gaped after the person at the door as they were allowed to walk through, having barely flashed the fake IDs. "There is no way that we look twenty-one," Rory hissed to his two friends. "That man is tempting fate!"

"You've said hundreds of times that you don't believe in fate," Harmony pointed out, knowing that she had gotten him cornered in the use of a common expression.

"Yes but…uh…"

"Let me tell you something," Sugar said, throwing an arm around Rory's shoulders as they walked. They rounded a corner to be faced with costumed, dancing bodies and flashing lights. "It's a word of advice, if you will. Let go of your sixty year old inner grandma for a few hours, Rory. Just let her go. If you do, this night will be legendary."

"Your face is legendary," Rory informed Sugar over the sound of the music an hour later. "You know, Sug, I've been thinking. I always thought that you had Aunt Santana's cunning but Aunt Brittany's logic. That…that is a formidable combination, because, you know, you can do things but don't think about it. You know? This looks like a Smurf." Rory had broken off of his train of thought and now looked into the depths of blue alcohol in his glass. Sugar, of course, hadn't forgotten the money.

Harmony burst out laughing and shook her head. "Drunk Rory is the best," she told Sugar with a smile.

"Bodies are beautiful," Rory announced suddenly, looking up at the ceiling like it presented him with all of the answers. "I mean they work perfectly…why should they work? Why should walking work? It's like art. It's beautiful! Don't you think so?" He had turned to a woman near him, who had been chatting with her friends. She was in a tiny silver sequined dress, eyes covered in a masquerade mask. "Hi. I'm Rory. I can sing you know. Do you live here? You play awesome music. Although, I have to say, overall I prefer to stick with classics like –"

The woman snickered – rather condescendingly – and turned her back again. "Oh my God," Rory said forlornly. Sugar and Harmony exchanged a half-amused, half-puzzled glance. "Look…at…her…shoulder blades! I want to touch one…"

"No, no, no, no, no," Sugar said, grabbing Rory's hand and pulling him away. Looking up at him, she began giggling, which passed to Harmony and then Rory himself, not dying out for several minutes. "Dance with me, guys!"

She pulled the two onto the dance floor. Soon, everything was bodies and lights and heat and no air. Rory needed air. He couldn't tell which person was Sugar or Harmony or shoulder blade lady, or anyone else. He couldn't tell anything. He stumbled out of the mob of dancing people that he'd gotten pulled into only a few minutes later.

"No thanks," Rory muttered to himself, backing away and keeping an eye out for either of his friends. He sat on a barstool and faced it toward the dancers.

"Wise choice," said a voice from his left.

Rory looked over to see a tall woman lounging against the bar next to him. "Yeah," he breathed, eyes involuntarily looking her up and down. She seemed to stretch on for miles. Right when he looked at one part of her, she swam out of focus. He could only really see her at all if he caught her out of his periphery vision. He wasn't sure what she was dressed as…it could have been anything. He thought she was in black, but when he tried to focus it seemed more green, then when he turned away the light caught it and it seemed purple.

"Headache?" she asked, scooting a bit closer.

"Yeah," Rory repeated quietly, focusing on the sound of her voice. It was as raspy as wind through the leaves, as haunted as a wolf's cry, and yet as quiet as a deserted forest. "I drank things. It was my friend, she –"

"You don't look old enough to be here, Rory," she said, fixing him with her starlight gaze.

"I'm not." Rory spoke the truth without thinking twice, and he didn't think of the consequences. "I'm…my Papa and Dad….but I'm old enough to do what I want. Sugar and Harmony always think I'm being cautious. I don't want my dads to be disappointed with me. But don't they…shouldn't they know that I know what to do with myself? I know what I'm doing."

"I'm sure," she said benignly.

"I'm glad," Rory continued. Vaguely, he realized that he was spilling all of his innermost thoughts, but he wasn't inclined to stop. It was as if the woman had cast a spell over him. "I'm glad I'm here. They think they know me…they think they know that I don't know what's best for me. Well I know what's best."

"Rory, don't you think that they want to protect you?"

"They never would have let me come here. Look! I'm not dead! Coming here was fine! I'm cautious because that's what they've taught me to be, but…I'm not dead!"

"No you aren't," she said emotionlessly. "You think you know better than they do, is that it?"

"Yeah," Rory said defiantly. "Yeah, I do. I think if I was on my own, I would do just fine. I wish I was on my own. I wish I could prove to everybody – Daddy, Papa, Sugar, and Harmony – that I don't always have to be the baby, or the wet blanket. I just wish…"

The woman cocked her head to the side as he faded off. "That's what you wish? You wish to be alone so that you can prove yourself?"

"If only," Rory said, looking out into the crowd.

"If only," she repeated. She caught Rory's gaze with her starlight eyes and lifted a hand to brush his cheek. Suddenly, visions flashed through Rory's head. He was in a school, but not his school in New York. He felt the slam of a locker as he was pushed back, the tug of insecurity in his gut that he always got singing in front of people, and…was that…?

Then it was gone, just like that. Rory jerked away from her hand and stumbled backward, his head reeling. When his brain stopped spinning, he looked up at the woman to see an empty seat. He blinked a few times only to realize that he was no longer tipsy. He didn't feel drunk in least. It was as if it had all vanished, along with the woman. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else then where he was.

"Sugar, Harmony," he called as he poked his way along the outside of the dance floor. When he had both of their wrists in his grasp he marched them to the door. "We're leaving," he said. "Something…well, I don't know what happened. There was a woman."

"Rory, did you take something?" Sugar asked him, sounding slightly frightened for the first time all night.

"No," he shot back. "She was there! I couldn't look straight at her, and her voice…her eyes. I'll explain when we get back."

"Just where do you think you're going?" The voice came from nearby, and a big body stepped in front of Rory, blocking his path. Tall as Rory was, he had to look up quite a ways into the familiar eyes, which narrowed at him. "You are in so much trouble."

Rory's eyes widened as he saw who had stopped him. "Uncle Finn," he whispered, dread sinking like a stone in his stomach. For a few blessed moments, he had thought that he would get away from this escapade scot-free. "It's a funny story…"

A/N: There is is, the first chapter! :D I honestly have no idea if this idea will even appeal to people, so I'd like to hear what you think so far! This is part one of the main conflict, which will finish being set up in chapter two.

Thanks for reading!