Better Than Me
A/N - I do not own Vampire Knight, nor the song Better Than Me by Hinder.
Zero let out a feral growl as he flung open the door to his room, quickly slamming itshut behind him as he stalked the space like a predator in a small cage, wild untamed, and willing to bite the hand that fed it. Like he had to battle not to bite Yuuki, only for Kaname to do it for him.
No, not for him.
Yuuki deserved better than him. And now, in a way, she had got it. Zero's fits clenched, and his muscles tightened. He could still smell Yuuki in here, still feel her sweet hands touching him as he fought himself not to kiss the girl. He wasn't worthy. He never would be. He was a monster, someone who had not only a need to consume blood, but someone who took his nourishment from the person closest to him, weakening her, stealing from her.
And damnit, her smell was all over his sheets, he hadn't come back here since she left. A brown hair lay across his pillow, meaning nothing of a romantic nature. Not to Yuuki anyway, because she had left, with the man that she had always lived to serve. No, he missed her innocent presence, bringing lightness into his darkened life. His sheets were still crumpled, no one other than the headmaster and Yuuki dared to enter here. They were moulded in an inexact way to Yuuki's absent form, and he lay down so gently, so as not to disturb them, so that he could pretend that she was still there, laid beside him where she ought to be.
Ah, that traitorous part of his brain that still thought that he belonged with her. He was lost without her, and he couldn't banish thought of what could have been, could be, if he hadn't even tried. This feeling would linger, this desolate sorrow that filled him, this large ache that could only be filled by her soft presence.
She had always been Kaname's, and he hurt for all of the times that she had blushed because of him, had cried in front of him, bared her neck to him, wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. He missed the feel of her there, holding him as he locked his arms, unwilling to let go. All he had wanted was to protect her, and in the end…
He hadn't needed to. Because she was better.
Even in being a vampire, the same detestable creature that had cause him to harm her, that he had wanted to protect her from, she had done better. Because she was a pure blood. He had no idea what to do now, now that the time he had had for Yuuki was instead nothing. He simply existed, breathed, remembered and waited to leave, to die. For his heart to stop pumping the blood of others through his veins, for his body to be removed and only his scent to remain, lingering with Yuuki's tempting feminine fragrance. He had nothing… nothing to hold…
All he had left to do was something that he hadn't done in years. He cried. Sobs shuddered through his thin frame, his fingers shaking as he ran them over the pillow where her head a been, as she slept beside him so trustingly.
And the last thing he saw before he passed out was Yuuki's gentle hand caressing his undeserving face goodbye as she smiled softly up at him. Then there was nothing.
I think you can do much better than meAfter all the lies that I made you believeGuilt kicks in and I start to seeThe edge of the bedWhere your nightgown used to beI told myself I won't miss youBut I rememberWhat it feels like beside youI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than meWhile looking through your old box of notesI found those pictures I tookThat you were looking forIf there's one memory I don't want to loseThat time at the mallYou and me in the dressing roomI told myself I won't miss youBut I rememberWhat it feels like beside youI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than meThe bed I'm lying in is getting colderWish I never would've said it's overAnd I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm olderCause we never really had our closureThis can't be the endI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than meI really miss your hair in my faceAnd the way your innocence tastesAnd I think you should know thisYou deserve much better than me(And I think you should know this)(You deserve much better than me)
A/N - Thanks for reading! This was more of a drabble than an actual fic, and it wasn't as long as I would have liked, but I was just listening to music and BAM! This would suit Zero and Yuuki. Even if Zero is an absolute babe, and shouldn't really feel so guilty :P I'm sorry if any of this is inconsistent with the plot, but this is fan fiction, and I can change parts of it, and I haven't actually finished reading it anyway. Although I admit to Googling the plot.
Have A Great New Year! (I'm in England, so it's only 11 AM on New years eve. My Geography isn't good enough for me to know when its new years for everyone else… *sigh* Well, sometime today or tomorrow XD)
R&R