God is a woman and She has fearsome boobs.

Lee knows because he's trying his hardest to look past them to the face beyond and yet it is so… difficult. He doesn't even understand the human fixation over the modified sweat glands, all he knows is that the mountains on earth are most likely made in imitation of God's bosom.

Oi, brat! Did you hear me?

He nods, even though he actually didn't, but he fears his Mother as any good boy should. "YOSH!"

Then what did I say?

"You said something very important!"

And that was…?

"… I… I do not know."

Ignorant child!

"Forgive me!"

God sighs and shifts and Her eyes manage to find the boy's. You have been assigned a partner. Good luck, don't let me down, keep the universe safe, make sure good and evil stay in balance, don't get killed, blah blah blah, you've heard it all before. Now GET TO WORK.

Lee is literally blown out of the alternate dimension of Heaven into the reality of mortal existence and then he's falling uncontrollably towards nothing. The earth is somewhere to his left, Uranus is somewhere much further off, and he knows that many, many, many light-years from where he is rests a planet where high intelligent life form have come to the decision of not revealing themselves to the Human Race for the sake of everyone's sanity.

And then a rip is formed in the fabric of space time continuum and he falls through that too. When he manages to get his wings under him, it's only in time for him to narrowly avoid a hairy flying eyeball that spins midair to glare sourly at him.

"Forgive me! It is my first day and I am very nervous to meet my part-…ner…" The eyeball obviously doesn't care because it's already gone before Lee can even blink. "Erm, have a good day! I mean, night! … I do not know."

How can he? The sky of this dimension is a crimson red and he sees the fiery flames of Hell to one corner of it, a horrid creature lurks in the skeletal plains to the East, in the West is a field of ice and snow, and then the South shows many a strange torment that confuses the angel. Between the four directions are even stranger sorts of punishments and unforgiveable wastelands but Lee only as to look straight down to find what he has been looking for. Between all of these places where the damned go, meeting in the heart of a dimension that has so many names, veins leading to it in blue and red and magma yellow, is a palace made in parts of bone, ivory, obsidian, skin, alabaster, and other things.

Lee doesn't often give into fear. But now, in this moment, he is willing to try and find an exit. This place isn't going anywhere, it's been here since before the beginning of time, before there was even a beginning, and he can surely come back sometime later…

Except something grabs his wing.

Where do you think YOU'RE going, hm?

Everything after that moment is a whirlwind of motion that Lee can not keep up with and then he's kneeling on a floor made of skulls and volcanic rock and there are slivers of ice sticking up like stakes.

In front of him is a throne made of body parts. A human arm here, a Martian's head there, a Sasquatch's foot down here… It is the strangest piece of furniture Lee has ever seen and he hopes it is the last time he sees it.

Gifts from the "Devourer". Don't look so disgusted, it's very comfortable. The person seated on this mound of rotting flesh wears a mask and not an inch of skin shows through His black attire. So you've graduated, have you? It's your time to gather souls now, is it? Well, have I got the partner for you, child!

"I would hope so, sir!" Lee chirps. "That is what I am here for." He eyes the servants lined horizontally to the chair suspiciously. One of them looks like Adolph Hitler but Lee is pretty sure that man never wore a maid's outfit in life. The late Fuhrer keeps his eyes to the floor and doesn't dare look up.

You were going to run away though, weren't you?

Everything this creature says strikes Lee as a rhetorical question but he was raised to answer obediently. He looks away from Katherine Knight, who stands next to an extraterrestrial purple thing that she does not at all seem fond of. "I was planning on coming back at a later time, sir!"

I see no better time than the present, do you?

"Now that I am here, I suppose not, sir!"

Call me Tobi, would you? Everyone else does.

Lee is almost positive that is a lie. With the hundreds of names this entity has surmounted, this is the first time Lee is hearing Tobi. But he is hardly in any position to tell Him what His name is. "Okay, Tobi!"

Do you always speak in exclamation marks? Don't answer that. Anyway, look! Your partner in crime arrives! Late, I might add. Why are you always so late, you naughty little demon?

Lee's wings flutter with interest and he turns around to catch his first glimpse of his partner. All he sees is a sandstorm coming straight at him. It is rather exciting, he has to admit, as he shoots up into the air and then careens dangerously close to Josef Stalin as a rope of sand slaps him down.

Why does He keep the most evil beings in all of Creation with him? Lee doesn't really want that question answered so he keeps it to himself and dodges a low hit, somersaults off a wall, and dives straight into the middle of the sand storm.

He rolls out of it, wings folded protectively around him and his attacker. The sand storm comes to a screeching halt and Lee swears he can hear the ominous hordes of grain hiss and growl purposefully at him.

Now, Gaara, I know you're not pleased with this but you simply have no choice in the matter! I picked your name out of this hat, see? He holds up a top hat with the top cut out, reaches into it, and pulls out a burnt slip of paper where GAARA is written in large, blocky letters. Behave, would you? The poor boy's new, he's dazed and confused, and he did manage to get through your sand, so I would keep that in mind before you go off and try to kill him again… oh, dear, is that boy okay? Do we even have emergency first aide for angels down here?

Lee doesn't mean to worry Him so much. It's just that… this is the scariest thing in all of Creation that he has ever seen.

Gaara stares at him with eyes like golden coins with pupils shaped like the North Star, so much distrust and distaste floating in his glare that Lee stops moving in case he attracts hatred. But that isn't even the part that is giving Lee pause, it's him. Aside from his head, which reminds Lee of a raccoon – mask, ears, and all –, he's got a basic human shape but his skin looks and feels like sand beneath Lee's touch and blue-black markings scroll across his entire body including his long, barbed tail. Serrated teeth are bared at Lee and claws grip his upper arms, about to throw him off, but he flattens his wings to the ground and refuses to move.

If he is honest with himself, which he always is, he just doesn't want to take the chance of losing his vantage point. Lee usually gives into trust very easily but he has this feeling that fighting now and making friends later is his safest course of action at the moment.

Now that he has Gaara under him (for the moment), he might as well take that first step into the uncertain seas of camaraderie. "Hello, my name is Lee."

"Lee…" growls Gaara. "Get the fuck off me."

"You have yet to tell me your name!"

"You already know it," he snarls.

Yes, Lee knows that he knows it, but the point is to introduce themselves to each other! It serves a purpose! Lee isn't sure how it does that yet but he knows. "Humor me."

"I'm not here for your entertainment."

"I, I know that! I mean, goodness, can you please just give me your name yourself?"

"It's pointless, you already know it."

"But you did not tell me!"

"Fine! It's Gaara. Now, Lee, get the fuck off me."

He scrambles off of the creature and Gaara rolls to his thick hind feet. Lee's wings flutter unsurely before he folds them tightly to his back.

Tobi hums pleasantly. I feel this is the beginning to a beautiful relationship, how about you two? Well, I know I do.

.

When it comes to collecting a soul, the question is never as simple as "Has this being been naughty or nice?" There are hundreds of things to consider such as, would everyone had done the same thing if put in this individual's place? Is this person guilty by association? If this woman/man/creature/child is not aware that their actions are bad, are they themselves bad? Is there such a thing as a horrible crime done with good intentions? If this person thinks they did right, did they? This person thinks they are evil but really they're not but does self-belief put him/her/it here or there?

That is why Heaven and Hell (so many other names, but let's stick with those ones for now, yes?) made the joint decision after the Egyptian fiasco and the centuries they took to sort that out – because, honestly, those weights were rigged – to put together one angel and one demon per team to decide where a soul's rightful place is.

Is this person damned or is this person saved? That is what Gaara and Lee have to decide together.

The problem is that they're not working together as of yet. Gaara, as a demon, looks for evil in an individual's heart (or, considering what planet they are on, whatever thereon functions as the heart or whatever is considered to house the soul or wherever or whatever the soul is considered to be) and Lee, as an angel, likes to see the good in things.

They haven't reached that middle ground more seasoned cells have and their tug-of-war over the deceased is causing both Her and Him serious headaches.

We could always pair them up with an older couple and let them see how they work.

I hate to agree with you, but I really want this to stop. Can you believe this? I've got fucking Beverly Allitt up here!

I think I can say in all honesty that Valentin belongs with you.

DAMN IT, this is going to take forever to fix!

It could be worse, couldn't it? This could be Egypt all over again.

DON'T remind me.

.

Lee knows Hinata. She is the shyest, most gentle angel Lee has ever had the pleasure of meeting. And experience has aged her much fast than Lee. Put on earth, she would have come across as roughly seventeen years old whereas Lee looks like he has barely passed eleven. As they're not really physical bodies as much as spiritual manifestations that take whatever form is more convenient to their location, they really just take up whatever appearance they feel as. Hinata obviously is beginning to feel, just beginning to feel, the weight of the universe on her shoulders like an impatient future to come.

Lee has actually supposedly aged five years since first meeting Gaara. He has never been outside of Heaven till he was assigned his partner and his new knowledge has made him a few inches taller when he chooses to stuff himself inside a skin.

As it is, he is happy to just let his wings out, a form of his Grace that is basically an angel's life force, and mingle with Hinata who very happily mingles back and their wings tangle together.

Gaara remains off to the side with another demon that looks like a big distorted shadowy fox to Lee.

"Who is that?" Lee asks Hinata.

"That is my partner, Naruto." Lee feels her smile and blush through her Grace and a shiver runs through his feathers as she turns towards her partner with more than just comradeship in her pale eyes (the eyes are the mirror to the soul and the same is said for their Grace and maybe it is a bit strange that they're practically beings of blinding light with wings and eyes randomly thrown into the equation). That isn't allowed. Heaven and Hell do not allow that thing.

That thing, right there, where she is obviously in love with her partner. A demon and an angel. No one ever bothered to tell Lee why that isn't allowed, but all of his superiors made very sure to make certain that he knew that it is a big no-no nonetheless.

"And who are you with?" Hinata goes on to ask, as if she hadn't just given herself away. She could have her wings clipped. She could end up on the nearest planet, stuck in whatever form is an intelligent organism there, or she could die.

But Hinata is Lee's friend and he can't even, won't even, imagine that fate for her. Love is love, isn't it? Lee won't hold it against her. He smiles back and says, "Gaara. I do not think he likes me much, but I will find my way into his favor before the End of Time! YOSH!"

Hinata laughs. "Good luck, Lee."

.

Gaara and Lee are more or less forced to watch from the sidelines as Naruto and Hinata approach a very confused, very hostile soul somewhere south of the Milky Way on a planet that has mostly just exploded on the poor thing. There are hundreds of other teams retrieving the other souls and two very large, very scary looking collectors are there as well, taking away the soul of the giant star. Yes, even the planets have souls.

Naruto sniffs it and Hinata waits back for a moment. Except Hinata is of the Heavenly light and Naruto has a dangerous fiery aura that scares the soul right to Hinata where it tries to, much to Lee's horror, steal into her wings and chew on her Grace.

Naruto gives an almighty roar that makes the galaxy freeze and the soul disintegrates into cinders and ash that float aimlessly in the busy sky. That soul was obviously not due for Heaven.

They crash land on Saturn's belt among the weaving rocks and Naruto holds the shivering, shocked Hinata close to his chest. Lee understands her pain. Their Grace is who they are. If they had had physical bodies, what that soul had just done would be like if it had eaten Hinata's arm and leg while she watched.

"DO SOMETHING!"

It suddenly occurs to Lee that Naruto is screaming at him. His red eyes are on him. Abruptly, it's up to him to save the day. Lee startles because this has never happened before. He looks up at Gaara whose ear twitches towards him but otherwise stares at Naruto.

"Damn it, isn't she your friend? I don't know what to do, I'm not an angel, what the Hell do I do?"

Lee admits that there really isn't anything he can do. So he gulps and reaches out for Gaara's hand because this is going to hurt. A lot.

Gaara frowns at the appendage of light but he takes it in one hulking palm. Then Lee reaches out to Hinata with his wing.

At first, there is no pain. As it is, his Grace appears to just flow seamlessly into Hinata's wound and melt them shut. But then the external harm is healed and his Grace is tugged deeper to her core where it counts and he's being ripped at, torn apart, and he screams as Hinata, never meaning to, not even knowing what is going on, does about the same thing that soul had done to her.

This damage will heal on its own, however, because angels are rewarded for their selfless acts and Lee is selflessly saving Hinata's life whereas when Hinata's life had been endangered, there had been no conscious thought to give or help or offer. Her wounds would have festered till someone offered.

All angels are taught these things in their moment of Creation.

.

Hinata burns brightly when she "wakes up", which is a term that demons and angels use lightly because they never sleep and so never wake but there are those rare moments where they come back to after an incident like now.

She looks at herself, at her relieved Naruto, and then at Gaara, who is holding a small pebble of an existence in the cradle of his own clawed hand. "Is that… Is that Lee?" She covers her mouth in horror. "Oh, Lee, I am, I am so sorry, s-s-so sorry…"

"Hey, he's alright, isn't he?" Naruto yelps.

"W-w-well, yes, b-but…" her light cries feathers that flitter on through the universe on the current of gravitational force. "he's so young to have to go through that sort of pain."

The pebble of a life glows dimly. It almost seems like Lee gives a small, small smile from within himself, but then the tiny wings fold over the ember and Lee "sleeps".