Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. They are owned Janet Tamaro, TNT and whomever else, but not me. No infringement intended.

A/N: I know there are a buch of these out there, I just wanted to add in mine Let me know if you wonna know what happens next or if I should move on to other fics…Njoy

It had been the worst two weeks of her life. Maura hadn't given her the silence treatment, nor did she shout, she just didn't talk to her. Jane had tried to say she was sorry countless times. But she couldn't change the fact that her best friend was slowly becoming nothing but a colleague. The only time Maura said anything personal to Jane was when she asked her not to come to Doyle's funeral, and even then she used the briefest sentence she could. With every passing day, Jane told herself to give the M.E. some time, that this kind of hurt needed time. But the distance, even if it was only two weeks, was killing her.

The different emotions Jane had gone through during those couple of weeks were overwhelming. Hurt, was the first one. Hurt at Maura's look of hatred, hurt at her unwillingness to talk or let Jane in, hurt at the betrayal she felt from Gabriel's action. The transition to pain was immediate. Pain resulting from the distance from the M.E. . And pain from the enormous guilt – she killed Maura's father, there was no way around that fact. But when the guilt was too much to take, anger took over. All she was doing, was her job. He was a mob boss for crying out loud! How could Maura not see that? These emotions of-course didn't stop her from trying to apologize to Maura. Constantly. Everyday. But the only response she got was a cold "I don't want to talk about it".

She went through every detail in her head, over and over again, each time coming to the same conclusion, she had no choice. Maura's father or not, he was still a mob boss with his gun aimed at her partner. Dean's death was a testament of him not being afraid to use said gun. She had to shot. What she didn't have to do, was set the wheels in motion. If only she had kept her mouth shut about Doyle, both he and Gabriel would still be alive. More than anything else Jane was angry at herself for not being the one to take that first shot. If she was fast enough then, she would have saved Maura before Doyle had to.

There was one other thing Jane couldn't get out of her mind, Maura's last words to her father, barely a whisper "What do you hope?". By the way Maura said the words, there was only one thing to deduce, Doyle said the word "hope" to her. Just that word. This didn't make sense to her. Was he about to say he hoped they had more time? No, Doyle was a man of action. He wanted Maura to know something, and Jane figured out exactly what that something was. She just couldn't tell Maura yet. Not until she had the proof she needed.

All this, couldn't change how sorry she was for the pain she put Maura in. It was painful watching the woman she loved so deeply, in so much pain. It was even more painful to know that she was the cause of it.

She missed Maura. She missed her terribly. At first, she missed hanging out with her, and then she started wondering what silly facts Maura would recall if she was there. When even the Sunday game wasn't enough to distract her, Jane knew she had to find her way back to Maura. She just had to. Laying on her bed, curled up, listening to "the ship song" on repeat, sniffing one of Maura shirts, Jane crooked her eyebrows at a realization – friends aren't supposed to feel this way. No matter how angry, hurt , guilty or afraid she might be feeling, lying in bed like this over a friend is NOT normal!

She wasn't the only one who realized this. Angela had seen her daughter's reactions. And when it became too much she went to see her daughter.

That night, Jane decided she would drink herself to sleep. She took a couple of beers out of the fridge, downed the first bottle and went to sit on the couch with the second, fully intending to repeat this several times. The knock on the door surprised her, for a second she hoped it might be Maura, scolding herself for being so naïve she went to the door to see who it might be. "Janey open the door" Angela's voice demanded. She rolled her eyes and did as her mother asked. "What are you doing here Ma?".

Angela didn't wait for an invitation and simply walked in. "Does a mother need a reason to come see her daughter.".

"Ma, this isn't a really good time", hoping her mother, who already sat herself on the couch would leave this alone.

"You love her don't you?" Angela inquired.

"What are you talking about Ma?" Where the hell did that come from?

"At first I didn't realize what Giovanni said about you appreciating breasts, but I understand now. And it's O.K." There was no anger or pain in her eyes, just honesty.

"Giovanni's just, well, he doesn't matter. Actually, none of this really matters now…" Jane saw that Angela was still looking at her, waiting for her to actually answer the question, so she tried to "I don't know Ma. O.K? I don't really know what it is that I'm feeling" Her own honesty was surprising her, but she had to give her mother at least that after what she had just said.

"Does she know?" The older woman inquired.

"No. I'm not even sure I know" Maybe it was the late hour, or maybe it was the lack of interesting conversations over the past two weeks but she was actually willing to talk to her mother. "Ma, I've never been…"

"With a woman? I know." Angela filled in the gap.

"No, Ma! Really? Come on! I've never been this afraid in my life. All I know is that I need her to forgive me" The tears started rolling off her eyes again and Angela immediately put her arms around her.

"She will, baby. She loves you just as much. You just have to give her a little bit of time. Just… don't give her too much time " The older woman smirked.

The next day, Jane decided she would step back. Give Maura some distance, use the time to find out what she needed about Hope. And when she found what she was looking for she placed everything in a manila folder and went down to the morgue with what she figured might be her olive branch. When the M.E. saw her approaching, she lowered her head and said "I don't have a C.O.D for you yet detective Rizzoli." And that was simply too much for Jane to endure.

"Are you kidding me? Detective Rizzoli? Maura, enough with this!" Jane was glad they were the only ones in the morgue at the moment.

"Detective, if you have any other questions, please feel free to e-mail them to me." Maura replied and retreated to her office, leaving Jane bewildered and unable to move. Her mouth opening and closing again and again. When she finally managed to lift her feet, she found them walking to the M.E's office. She needed to make this right and she needed to do it before things went too far. Jane opened Maura's office door, stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

"I'm sorry. I am so, so incredibly sorry for the pain you're feeling right now. Sweety I really am." When she saw that Maura, who was already sitting behind her desk, hadn't even lifted her eyes off the table she knew she had to change her strategy "But I'm not sorry for what I did." This made Maura's head shoot up in surprise. Anger, shock and pain evident in her eyes, but Jane was grateful for the look, it meant the M.E. cared.

"If I hadn't shot him, Frost would probably be dead right now. Innocent. Not mob boss - Frost. And I know you don't want to hear this, but Paddy Doyle was not above shooting cops!"

"Jane get out!" Maura raised her voice.

"The only thing I'm sorry for is telling Dean. I betrayed your trust, and I am so sorry for that, but trust me when I say I'm paying for it, two people are dead because of me. And I know that." The tall woman was walking closer to the desk.

"Jane, I asked you to leave." The M.E's hand was pointing at the door.

"Please. Please don't shut me out. If I could take it back I would but there's nothing I can do about it now. Just please talk to me. Tell me what I can do." Jane was begging and she knew it.

Maura voice was soft, her eyes pinned on Jane. She couldn't hold the pain back any longer, and her words simply came out of their own volition "I can't… do this anymore. Okay? When I look at you, all I see is betrayal. You were always this noble, beautiful woman to me and you simply aren't any more. You sold me out, you sold my father out for a guy you barely had two dates with. I just don't want to do this anymore."

Jane's heart sank and when she said nothing Maura continued "Jane, please leave me alone now. This is painful to me. I don't want to hurt anymore. And I don't wish to hurt you either". The sadness in her eyes was overwhelming and Jane's eyes started glistening, looking at the amount of pain she had caused and was still causing. But she couldn't back down. "No. I'm sorry Maur, but I can't leave. I'm not noble I'm a person. I'm a person who will do anything for you. I'm a person who made a horrible, terrible mistake. But I love you god dammit Maura. O.K?"

"Two dates Jane. Two. That's all it took you to put my life and my father's life in danger." Maura was getting angry.

"I didn't think. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I can't tell you I wouldn't have put him behind bars, Maura, because I would have. I would have put my own brother behind bars if he did something wrong. I can't change that. It's who I am. But I really didn't think things would happen the way they did. It wasn't about Gabriel, or the two dates. It was about me not being able to know I have information about paddy Doyle without doing something about it."

The M.E. just sat and looked at her without saying a word.

"Alright. Fine. I have something you'd wonna see…" Jane placed the manila folder on the desk. "I love you Maura. To be perfectly honest I think I'm in love with you". Maura's eyes shot up to meet hers. "I wish I could take what I did back. But I'll never be able to. At least know I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you."

At that she turned around leaving the M.E. blinking at the spot she was standing in. Words failing the tired honey blond, for the first time in her life.

TBC?