The calls had started coming about four months ago. By now, Kurt was used to them. His body would even wake itself up sometimes, around two in the morning, and if he couldn't go back to sleep, he'd lay there, waiting for the phone to ring.

On the nights it didn't, Kurt would relax, knowing that Blaine was probably asleep. It broke his heart every time Blaine called, every time he listened to him as he cried through the phone. It hurt to hear him so sad.

Most of the time, he'd just lay in bed, his ear pressed against his phone, murmuring softly, trying to make Blaine feel better.

"I can't do it," Blaine would whisper, his voice breaking at the end. Kurt would listen as Blaine let out a gasp, and a muffled cry. "I can't do it anymore. I'm tired, Kurt. I'm so tired."

"Shh, Blaine, it's going to be okay."

"No," Blaine would sniff into the receiver. "I can't, Kurt."

"Do you need me to come over there? I can be there in less than five hours."

"I…I don't want you to have to do that."

Kurt sighed into the phone. "Blaine, it's not a problem. Let me come over there. I'll take care of you." He smiled as he pictured seeing Blaine.

"No," Blaine said. "You have school tomorrow, too. I'm sorry, Kurt. I shouldn't even be calling. It's nearly three in the morning. You need to sleep."

"It's fine," Kurt said. He meant it, too. "Blaine, you know that, right? Whenever you need to talk-"

"I know," Blaine said. There was a short pause. "Thank you."

Kurt wasn't really sure what changed in Blaine's life. Freshman year he had been fine. He would call Kurt on Saturdays, telling him how much he loved Boston, the changing leafs, the old architecture. Kurt would tell him all about New York and life in the drama department.

That summer, when they both returned home, they spent every moment they could together. Most of the time, they'd simply sit on Blaine's bed, sometimes not even talking, just enjoying being near one another. They were trying to make up for lost time.

Kurt was excited to start school again, after finishing off his required classes the year before, he could now focus on drama. Blaine wasn't as excited. He had declared his major as political science, even though he showed no real interest in the subject. Kurt knew he was doing it for his parents, but there wasn't anything he could say that would change Blaine's mind.

"Look," Blaine would tell Kurt when he brought up the subject. "I've already disappointed my parents with…you know, being gay. That's not something I can decide. This though, I can decide it. If it makes my parents happy, if it puts us on better terms, if it makes our family dinners less awkward, then I should just do it."

Kurt woke up at 2:21. It was a slow process, coming out of a dream, realizing where he was. He glanced over at the clock and smiled to himself. If Blaine didn't call in the next fifteen or so minutes, it meant he was good for the night. Kurt closed his eyes and let himself fall back to sleep.

The next thing he heard was the sound of his phone vibrating against his desk. He opened his eyes, it was still dark out. He fumbled for the light switched, then immediately snatched up his phone, expecting to hear Blaine on the other end.

"Hey," he mumbled sleepily into the phone.

There was a slight pause from the other end. "Um…Kurt?"

It wasn't Blaine. Kurt's face wrinkled in confusion. No one ever called him this early. It wasn't even six o'clock yet.

"Kurt? This is Wes, Blaine's roommate." Kurt thought he could hear the sound of sirens in the background.

"Kurt? Are you there?"

Kurt swallowed. "Yeah," Kurt said, breathless. "Is…is everything okay? Where's Blaine?"

There was another long pause. It was a horrible silence. Kurt could feel his own heart beating. There was something wrong, he knew there was.

"Kurt…" Wes said slowly. "I hate to tell you this…I…well…Blaine tried to kill himself."

Kurt wasn't sure he had heard Wes correctly. He shook his head, as if somehow Wes would be able to see. His heart was beating overtime, racing against his ribcage, trying to break free. It stood rooted to the spot, unable to move. His body had gone numb.

"He…he's okay though?" Kurt held his breath waiting for the answer. Blaine had to be okay. He had to.

"Well…he's going to be. I think. Kurt, I'm so sorry."

Kurt bit his lip and blinked, trying to squash the tears lurking behind his eyelids. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for calling me, and letting me know."

"Of course," Wes's voice was soft, soothing. "I'll call you as soon as they let me see him."

"Wait-" Kurt said quickly. "What…what happened?"

Wes sighed.

"I'm not really sure what happened. I was in the library studying until about one o'clock last night. It closed then, so I ended up going to a friend's dorm room to study a bit more. We'd invited Blaine to come along, but he said he didn't feel that well. Anyways, I fell asleep in my friend's room, but woke up at about four…maybe four thirty, and headed back to my dorm. I wasn't really awake, I kind of just fell into bed. I woke up at about five to use the bathroom and…" Wes's voice broke off. After a moment he cleared his throat and tried again.

"I went into the bathroom, and it was all dark, I couldn't see a thing. But it…it smelled funny. Kind of like copper. I turned on the light and Blaine was just laying there on the ground. He…he'd slit his wrists and there was blood all over. Anyways, I called an ambulance. They said he must have been there for more than half an hour, so he must have done it before I got into the room."

Kurt sank onto the floor, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, pressing the phone hard against his ear.

"Why?" He whispered. "Oh, God, I can't believe…I didn't realize he was so unhappy…" Kurt could feel himself start to cry; he felt the tears course down his face and splash onto his lap where they lay there, unabsorbed, for a moment before sinking into the fabric of his pajamas.

"None of us did," Wes said. "He seemed fine, happy even. I mean, yeah, he was stressed, but we all are. The life of a Harvard student, huh?" Wes snorted into the phone. "Not all it's cracked up to be."

Kurt tried to go to class, but when it came time, he didn't have it in him. Instead, he retrieved one of Blaine's shirts from his closet, put it on, and crawled back into bed. Wes said that the hospital had Blaine in seventy-two hour lockdown. Kurt wasn't sure he could wait three days.

One of the things that absolutely broke him, the thing that hurt the most, was the fact that Blaine hadn't let Kurt help him. Had Blaine really felt that alone? The thought made Kurt's heart break.

The next day, Kurt realized he couldn't sit around and wait. Wes had called late the night before, only to tell him that they weren't letting Blaine see anyone or make any calls. However, the doctors had been able to stabilize him, he was conscious, and he was going to be okay.

So instead of sitting and waiting, Kurt threw some essentials into a bag and drove the five hours to Boston. The whole way there he thought of nothing else but Blaine. More than anything, Kurt just needed to see him, to touch him, to make sure he was going to be alright.