Have you ever had a day when you were so lonely and so depressed you wished you had someone to talk to?

I was having that day a week ago. I was sitting on an old wood bench perched on a small hill outside the school during lunch. I was eating a sandwich, alone of course, until I heard someone coming from behind. I ignored them in fear of making eye contact with a face I didn't want to see at the moment.

Then I saw the person go around me and sit on the bench across from me.

It was Zim.

He too had a lunch and he dropped the brown paper bag onto the table and sat down.

I had the biggest urge to cry but I supressed it. What I didn't do was shut my mouth.

"I'm so alone." I said to the wood table.

Zim nodded. "Zim is too." he said. Zim sounded far less depressed than I did.

"No one loves me…" I choked.

I saw Zim look up at my down casted face. I didn't know what was going on inside my head or Zim's.

"Zim knows not of this 'love'." The alien said almost curiously.

Then it happened. I broke out into tears and covered my face in shame. I felt my entire body convulsing; I was spilling out every tear I ever saved up. I had no control over my sobbing noises and I vaguely felt Zim move.

In my mind, Zim got up and left but then I felt his body heat next to me and quietly he ate his food as I cried my heart out.

After that I decided that I was at my limit, I was done. There is nothing good left inside me. I was sick, sick of everything! I was lost, I lost everything that had kept me going. My determination, my motivation, my creativity, and my entity.

Everywhere I looked I saw darkness, ready to swallow me whole. Everything I felt caused me internal pain. My heart ached with every breath I took and even breathing was hard for that it felt like I was inhaling the darkness that surrounded me. It clouded my mind like a giant, uncontrollable storm that would never leave as long as I kept thinking or living.

Darkness was an unwelcomed friend. A friend who ,by nature, tempted you, knowing that you'll crave in some time. It was only a matter of time for me.

I sat in my room, in the dark. I was on my bed, alone. I was wondering what would happen after I died, what would people think?

People would think I wasted a perfectly functional body, I mean why kill yourself if there's nothing wrong with your body? That's not the problem. Not in this case. If I had cancer I'd be terrified, so scared, my life would be limited. I would never want a fatal disease and I would never want anyone else to get one. But my head, my mind, my brain, it was the dysfunctional one. It's the fatal disease now isn't it?

I could go on forever about how huge an affect the mind has on our way of thinking but I should point out that I wished with all my heart that I could appreciate the good things I did have, like a healthy body. My mind won't let me; I'm fighting a horribly losing battle.

I looked out my window, at the moon and how it used to comfort me, now it's a far away rock that I could never reach. I used to think that getting away from everything would fix me, and maybe if I did leave for a bit, surround myself with new things, maybe if I did that I'd be ok. But at this point, where I would go, my mind would follow. There's no reversing it now.

Where was the perfect person when you needed them? When will you meet that one person that would know you so well, you'd feel like you were twins? Does everyone get to meet such a person…would I get to meet them?

So many unanswered and painful questions infect my head every second. I get up suddenly, tired of it all. I'll do it now! On this whim of desperation that I felt so heavily on my soul, I will end it all now!

I headed to the bathroom and opened the cabinet. I took a bottle full of something and run back to my room, with the door shutting behind me. I was in darkness again.

I had a death grip on the bottle and it was shaking in my hands. I leaned against my door hard and began to sob. My expression was angry as I try so hard not to think. I couldn't think about dying, I just needed to do it.

I struggled to walk to my desk and grab the bottle of water I had there. I guess I had to swallow all of these and I'll sleep or something. Hopefully I would never wake up.

I sat on the edge of my bed, a bottle full of pills I didn't even bother to know the name of in one hand and a bottle full of water in the other. For a second as I sat there, I thought about Zim. It made me cry more. I don't really know why but if I had to say why then it'd be because he won.

I twisted the cap on the bottle full of pills and poured the tiny pink tablets into my shaking palm. I sat there for a very long time, willing my mind to shut up but realized that there was only one way to do that. I shoved the pills into my mouth and chugged them down with water. The tears flowed out of my eyes harder as I dumped more pills into my hand. I did this again then again and figured I was good to go.

Knowing that this was my last moment on earth killed me more than what would happen to me shortly. I can't turn back, I can't turn back! I screamed in my head. I cried hard into my heads.

I was going to die completely and utterly alone.