The Conquerors own nothing

CONQUERORS Z AND C PRESENT

FROM THE DEPTHS OF OUR

COMPLETELY INSANE MINDS

STARING NARUTO UZUMAKI

IN
THE SECOND COMING OF DICK

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS HERE)

Prologue

Even at night, the village of Konoha, better known as the Village Hidden in the Leaves, or simply the Hidden Leaf Village, was bustling with activity. This may be caused by the fact that the date was October 10th. Some may ask why, and others would answer with happiness.

Many years ago, on October 10th, the Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked the village for no apparent reason. The 4th Hokage, Minato Namikaze, defeated and killed the beast at the cost of his own life.

However, this is not quite true.

You see, no mortal can kill a Tailed Beast. They can only seal them away. THAT is what the 4th did. He sealed the Fox away in a baby. This child's name was Naruto Uzumaki.

Naruto grew up alone and hated. Everyone ignored him, so he sought attention. To this end, he wore bright orange, has blond hair, whisker marks on each cheek, and blue eyes, and had a habit of playing pranks that usually resulted in him being chased around the village by either an angry mob or the ANBU.

If Naruto lived a normal life, he would become a ninja and manage to keep his innocent and naïve nature. This story, however, is definitely NOT about that. You see, the nature of the Multiverse allows for many universes created from chance, choice, or just out of sheer boredom. This story is a prime example of that fact.

This story begins on October 10th, which, as previously stated, is the day the Kyuubi was beaten by the 4th Hokage. Every year, on October 10th, a mob forms to hunt down the "Kyuubi brat" once and for all. The reason is quite simple: People are stupid.

Young Naruto managed to keep ahead of the mob that was chasing him. Ducking his head, the six-year old focused on getting his legs to move faster. This was complicated by the fact that a kunai knife was embedded in one of his legs, thrown there by a rather idiotic Chunnin with long white hair and two giant shuriken strapped to his back. (Two guesses who.)

Looking up, the boy saw that the mob had trapped him in a dead end. Naruto turned around and was pinned to the wall by several angry civilians. He braced himself for the beating.

After 10 minutes, the ANBU showed up to push the mob back. The villagers had torn Naruto up badly. One had attempted to take his eye out, but missed. The result was a nasty cut across his eyebrow. One of his legs was broken, the other was badly bruised. A villager had held a torch to his arm. The result was a badly burned arm. Many of Naruto's ribs were broken as well.

As the ANBU pushed the villagers back. Naruto felt a strange detachment from everything, as if he was watching from afar. Suddenly, the ground underneath him changed into something else. The dirt shimmered like a pool of water, showing a strange place. Looking down, Naruto saw forests, deserts, cities, REALLY weird creatures, and a malicious aura.

The kunai holding Naruto to the wall gave away. He fell into the portal, for that is what it was, by utter chance, a completely random anomaly had opened in the space-time-continuum. The result of this was a portal that allowed for instantaneous transportation across the Multiverse to a random destination.

Young Naruto didn't know, but the world had changed because of this freak occurence. But had it changed for the better or the worse?

I believe it depends on the perspective.

AN: For all you perverts, the title does not mean what you think it means.