23. SISTERS AND LOVERS

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tzu

Elena breathed in deeply, straightening her back and raising her chin, hoping that the improved stance might awaken the courage she needed but didn't yet feel. It only partially worked, but standing outside the door like a scared deer was becoming increasingly pathetic. She needed to get this over with, needed to say what she had to say and needed to live with whatever the outcome of this encounter would be. With shaky hands but unshakable determination she knocked and waited for a surprised "Yeah?" before pushing down on the handle and opening the door.

Two big, curious eyes were watching her as she made her way from the door to the bed. "Hi," she breathed out, her voice weaker then she wanted it to be.

"Creepy," Katherine replied, unabashedly scrutinizing Elena from head to toe.

Elena huffed out a short laugh. "It's nice to meet you, too," she returned, standing awkwardly by the foot of her sister's bed.

"Oh don't be so hung up on protocol," Katherine waved her off. "You can't tell me it's not creepy."

Elena smiled. Katherine was brash but Elena didn't feel insulted. She eyed the girl on the bed carefully, looking for something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Dissimilarities, maybe. Something that could distinguish them physically. Or something that could explain the obsession with which Stefan and Damon had pursued this girl – an inner glow that reached out to people. So far Elena was still struggling to not feel like she was looking into a mirror.

"You're right, it is creepy," she conceded.

"Thank you!" Katherine accepted with a wide smile and a glint in her eyes that made Elena think that maybe there was more happening in this conversation than she was aware of – a glint that spoke of secrets and mysteries that only Katherine knew and that she herself could only ever dream of uncovering. "I really am glad to meet you, actually," Katherine then stated, a mischievous spark in her eyes stopping Elena from accepting the sentiment as truth. "You know, after I woke up," Katherine continued after a short moment of silence, "I felt very sorry for myself. Just… awful. But then, after hearing about your past year from mom and from Damon, I'm starting to wonder if you haven't had it worse."

Elena gave her a curt smile, before answering. "You know, I feel the same way about you."

To Elena's surprise, Katherine broke out in a gleeful laugh. It was a great laugh, full and merry and Elena could understand why guys would bend over backwards to hear it over and over again. "Must be a sister thing," Katherine finally returned with a wink, after she had sufficiently calmed down.

"Must be," Elena agreed, her chin raised defiantly.

"Come sit," Katherine ordered rather than offered, waving her hand at a chair by her bed. "Tell me about you. What are you like?"

Elena moved to sit down, looking at her sister warily. "What am I like?"

"Yeah. In life. Are you… a long walks on the beach kinda girl? Or are you… you know… into S and M. Are you a vegan?"

Elena stared at her sister a little shell-shocked. "Uhm… neither of those," she replied slowly, unsure of what to say.

"Well you're certainly not very forthcoming," Katherine commented, her eyes boring into Elena's.

"Okay, well that's a tough question. What are you like?" Elena retorted somewhat offended.

"It's not tough at all. You can tell me whatever you want! How am I gonna know if it's true or not?" Katherine argued, looking at Elena like she was being willfully difficult. "Fine," she sighed after a short while. "I'll go first. I don't like long walks on the beach, but I do like watching the sun set over the ocean. I always imagine it's calling to me: Come on, Kat. There's more to see over here. Come with me." She looked outside the window longingly, like a canary stuck in a cage, waiting for the moment someone forgot to close the door properly and she could make her escape. "I believe that a day on which you don't kiss or slap someone is a lost day. I don't like to go to the movies and I like reading books even less. It takes too much time away from living, don't you think?" She asked but didn't give Elena time to answer. "I hate small-talk, so don't try any on me. And I hate sleeping. I wish I could take all the sleeping I've done this past year as credit and not sleep again until I used it all up. I think that's the worst part about this coma. That it's made me miss so much of my life."

Elena gave her a sad smile. She knew what that felt like. "After my parents' accident, I wasn't in a coma, but I still stopped living. I might as well have been asleep," she told her sister.

"What a waste," Katherine commented.

"Yeah, it was," Elena agreed sadly.

"Shame on you," Katherine berated her absent-mindedly. "Well, you met my boyfriends," she then remarked with a smirk. "So it wasn't all bad, I imagine."

"They kind of woke me up," Elena agreed.

"Sleeping Beauty and the princes," Katherine commented snarkily.

"It wasn't all that romantic," Elena disagreed.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Katherine laughed lightly. "Now you go."

"I…" Elena thought for a moment about how open she wanted to be with this girl. She was aware that she made herself more vulnerable with every word she said. At the same time she felt like she didn't have a choice, if she ever hoped to build a relationship with her sister. "I've never been outside the US," she began, staring down at her hands. "But I plan on travelling the whole world. I love books and movies. I feel like I can live an infinite number of lives through them." She thought for a moment about what the few things were that someone had to know about her. "My family is my life. I would do anything for them. I like to paint. And I love kids. I want to start College in fall to become an art therapist and work with traumatized children."

"God, you're just too good to be true, aren't you?" Katherine mocked good-naturedly.

Elena smiled. "I always thought that about you, too."

Katherine smiled back. "Anything else?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Elena swallowed. There was something she wanted to say, but she was afraid. The time to be scared was over, though. She didn't want to worry anymore. She wanted to be strong and brave and this was just another small step towards achieving that. "I love Damon," she said, looking at her sister to gauge her reaction.

Katherine smiled a small, Elena thought reminiscent, smile. "You know, I can see why you'd be good for him," she finally said, looking at Elena appraisingly. "I'm just surprised he'd see it, too. I always thought his heart was one big self-destruct button."

Elena breathed out a small laugh. She had always thought the same thing. She looked back up into Katherine's eyes. "Did you love him?" she asked, at the same time glad and scared to finally get the chance to ask her directly and not have to depend on what other people believed.

"Yes. I still do," Katherine replied with warmth and certainty in her voice.

"And Stefan?" Elena continued.

"Him, too. I never could decide," her sister answered. "I'm impressed you can."

"Would you have chosen one of them eventually?" Elena kept digging.

"Heavens, no!" Katherine exclaimed. "God, I can only stand either of them because I have the other to keep me sane."

"Had," Elena corrected, her heart in her throat.

For a moment Katherine looked startled, but then the muscles around her eyes softened and a small smile crept across her lips. "Yeah, I guess so."

Elena was standing in front of the mirror, inspecting herself uncertainly. After her conversation with Bonnie and Caroline earlier today, she had been full of energy and resolve. Now, looking herself over and thinking about her plan, she felt her heart sink again. She was wearing a black, lacey corsage with matching stockings. She had never worn sexy underwear like this but today, with Caroline forcefully encouraging her from hundreds of miles away, she had gone and bought the raciest piece of clothing she would probably ever own. She was planning on walking over to Damon's room and seducing him.

Looking at herself in the mirror, however, she suddenly felt stupid. Damon had probably already seen her body shrouded in silk and lace; only it had belonged to someone else. This wasn't her. This wasn't what she did. This was something she supposed Katherine would do. Trying to win a man over with sexy lingerie - what was she thinking? This could only end in a horribly mortifying fiasco for her. Where Katherine would have looked sexy, she would look like she was trying too hard.

She shook her head and turned away from the mirror. She would take this stuff off and put on her jeans and t-shirt. He would either like it or he wouldn't, but this masquerade was laughable. If she had any hope of winning him over, it was as herself. If she tried to be a Katherine knock-off, she had already lost. She couldn't believe she'd let Caroline talk her into it.

Just as she was about to unclasp the bodice, she heard a knock on the door. This had to be room service. She had ordered a bottle of Blanton's because she had seen it in Damon's apartment and assumed he liked it. Sexy underwear and Bourbon – not very subtle. Elena blushed suddenly at her brazenness. She would hide the bottle, then change, then hope for the best. She quickly pulled on a bathrobe as she rushed towards the door. When she opened it, her heart stopped.

Damon was leaning in the doorway, a worn-out expression on his face. "Hey," he greeted with a tired smile. Elena took a shocked step back and pulled the bathrobe close around her neck, ashamed that she was still wearing the evidence of her embarrassing plan underneath.

"Hey," she returned weakly, staring at him in confusion.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly and he cocked his head to one side inquisitively as he pushed himself away from the door frame. "You okay?" he asked, slowly, almost uncertainly walking into the room.

"Yeah, I…" she looked at him in bewilderment as he slowly closed the door behind him and looked at her, concern now etched on his features. "I wasn't sure you'd come," she said, quietly, inexplicably not daring to speak above a whisper.

"Isn't that what people do after a rough day?" he asked, his eyes never leaving hers. "Coming home to the person they love?"

Elena's heart skipped a beat and heat blasted through her whole body. Had she heard him right? Had she understood him correctly? "And that's me?" she asked, feeling ridiculous and foolish right away, but not able to stop herself from asking.

Damon looked at her quietly, a little stunned, observing her for a second before speaking. "Of course," he said, carefully reaching for her with his hand and caressing her cheek.

A sob escaped Elena's throat when she felt his skin against hers.

"You doubted that?" he asked, looking at her a little hurt.

"She woke up, Damon. Katherine's back," Elena replied, looking at him still with uncertainty and longing in her eyes.

"I would never have kissed you if I hadn't been one hundred percent sure that I was over her and my feelings for you had absolutely nothing to do with what I once felt for her," he stated, the conviction in his voice catching Elena off guard.

"I kind of talked you into it," Elena replied in a quiet voice, unable to look him square in the eyes.

Damon chuckled lightly, making her eyes shoot up to him. "You talked me into action. You didn't talk me into feeling what I felt," he tried to reassure her and for the first time that day an honest smile rushed across Elena's face.

"Elena," he began again, stepping closer to her. "I love you." His thumb ran across her cheek gently and her smile widened, finally reaching her eyes. "You have changed my life so much! You believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself anymore. You have made me realize how much I actually want the things that I have rejected for the longest time. Like having a relationship with my brother. Or relationships in general. I feel like I could have a future again. I actually want to have a future again. Because of you. You were right. I don't like a lot of people. But I enjoy every minute I spend with you. Because everything you say is interesting and everything you do amazes me. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Because your eyes are full of emotion and your smile has brightened every single one of my days since I met you. I've been wrong about so many things. I've been wrong about what I thought I wanted and about what I thought I needed. But you've been giving me both before I even questioned either."

Elena looked up at him, tears again in her eyes, but good ones now, filled with hope and overwhelming elation. And when their eyes locked, neither could hold back anymore and they met in a searing kiss, expunging all dread and fear and doubt. Elena's heart pounded in her chest, still trying to catch up with reality. He was here. He was holding her. He had told her he loved her. He wanted to be with her. She felt like her lips against his and her arms around his neck would never be able to convey what she felt in this moment, what she wanted to tell him. No matter how close she held him, no matter how hungrily she pressed her lips against his skin, it wouldn't be enough to communicate her feelings. They were still building up inside her, making her heart beat erratically, making her blood boil and press against her skin, heating it up and causing it to tingle, as if her feelings themselves were pushing against it, trying to leave her body and envelop him.

They moved backwards, never letting go of each other, lips still melting together and hands still tangling into hair desperately, until Elena stumbled over the bedframe against her legs and fell onto the mattress with a short yelp, Damon following right behind her. He was lying on top of her now, quietly looking at her face as if wanting to commit this moment to memory, wiping small strands of hair from her forehead.

"Why did you doubt my feelings for you?" he asked, his forehead crinkled lightly in disappointment.

"You were so distant," Elena explained, grabbing the hand that was caressing her face and pulling it against her chest as if to hold him closer.

Damon breathed out a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry," he said, looking at her with a pained expression. "I never meant to make you feel like I was pulling away. I just…" He paused, trying to find the right words. "The thought of Katherine waking up, in her mind being exactly where we all were eighteen months ago, not knowing about all the changes, not knowing about you… In her mind we were still together. It would have been like I was cheating on her with you. I couldn't do that."

Elena nodded slightly, her eyes downcast, inspecting imaginary lint on his shirt.

"It wouldn't have been fair to you," he added, making Elena's eyes shoot up to his.

"To me?" she asked confused.

"Yeah. It would have been like… you know… you're the woman on the side. And I couldn't do that. You deserve so much better. You deserve everything. I couldn't be with you while someone else still thought my heart belonged to them."

Elena felt her eyes begin to sting and she leaned up to kiss him fiercely before any tears could actually form.

"I'm so sorry I made you doubt my feelings for you," he breathed in between kisses.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," she replied and held onto him more fiercely, as if to prevent him from ever leaving again.

Slowly, reverently, his hand crept underneath her robe, gliding softly along Elena's skin, making her body tingle and her breathing speed up until, suddenly, as his careful hands reached her waist, his movement stilled, his breathing halted and he pulled back slightly. Elena opened her eyes in confusion, only to be met by a curious, playful look.

"What's this?" he asked, slowly unfastening the belt that held the terry cloth robe together and gently pushing it aside, allowing a cool breeze to rush across Elena's heated skin.

In an instant Elena's dazed mind jumped back to the present moment and to what she was still wearing. Blood shot into her cheeks and her hands flew up to pull the lapels together again but Damon stopped her with a smirk.

"Let me see," he purred.

Elena closed her eyes in embarrassment but dropped her arms in defeat.

"So this is what you wear when you don't expect me to come over?" he questioned, one eyebrow raised in mock-disapproval.

"I…" Elena felt the heat in her cheeks tingle. She felt exposed. Everything inside her screamed at her to close the robe, to run away. But he had been honest with her and she wanted to be honest with him. "I was going to fight for you," she stated, her eyes flicking across his face uncertainly, unwilling to concentrate on any one thing in specific.

She saw a shocked depth widen his pupils and wipe away the smirk that had tugged on the corners of his lips.

"You were going to fight for me?" he asked, all playfulness gone from his voice now.

"Yes," she replied in a hoarse whisper, her eyes suddenly stilling, drawn to the intensity in his.

"With lingerie?" he questioned, a new, curious smile slowly pulling at the right corner of his lips.

"And Bourbon," she confirmed. Damon chuckled lightly. "It's stupid, I know," she reprimanded herself, clasping one hand across her eyes in humiliation.

"Stop it," he scolded quietly, pulling her hand away so she was forced to look back into his eyes. "It's not stupid," he stated, his voice unusually serious. "No one has ever fought for me." He looked at her sincerely, willing her to grasp the magnitude of the moment.

"I just couldn't let you go," she explained, staring back at him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he returned, his thumb trailing her jaw-line carefully. "You don't need sexy underwear to make me stay, though. You know that, right?" he asked, smirking again.

"I was gonna take it off when you knocked," she nodded.

"Perfect timing," he stated, his voice low and husky. "Now I can help you." And with that he bent down to kiss her again.

"I was furious, when he told me," Katherine stated, boring into Elena's eyes as if to catch even the slightest reaction. "The last time I saw him, he had told me that I was the only woman he could ever love."

Elena couldn't help but flinch slightly. Not because she felt threatened by Katherine, but because she now knew what it felt like to be loved by Damon Salvatore and she was sure that if she ever lost his love, it would devastate her.

"And now here he is, telling me he's met someone. Someone who looks exactly like me. How pathetic is that!" Her eyes were still fixed on Elena's, registering the slightest movement of her brow, the smallest twitch of her lips. "I was actually looking forward to meeting my new sister. But now I just wanted to scratch your eyes out."

"I never intended to hurt you," Elena began but was cut off by a dismissive wave of Katherine's hand.

"Oh stop it," she snapped. "You weren't concerned with my feelings and I'm not concerned with yours." Elena wanted to protest again, but she doubted that it would be of any use. And Katherine looked like she still had more to say. "But the way he talks about you, you know…" she calmed down visibly and looked towards the ceiling as if thinking back to a beautiful memory from her childhood. "I've never seen him like that. He seems at peace." Elena smiled, watching her sister. "I always thought he was meant to be a fighter. You know. To go up against the world and slowly wear it down and shape it to his liking. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he doesn't need to fight. Maybe he can find a place in this world that is already perfect for him. And maybe that place is with you."

"Thank you," Elena said honestly.

"It doesn't mean I like it," Katherine bit back, her voice assuming a harsher tone again.

"No. But I'm sure that means a lot to Damon and it means a lot to me, too," Elena replied.

Katherine turned her head and smiled at Elena, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You're sweet. We should hang out more. I think I'd have a lot of fun corrupting you."

Elena smirked back. "I think I'd have a lot of fun watching you try."

Katherine laughed another of her bright, tinkling laughs and Elena couldn't help but join in. She still didn't know if she liked her sister or not, but she couldn't help but be drawn in by her. She had an energy about her that always kept other people on their toes. Elena was sure that no matter how much time she spent with her, she would never know with certainty how Katherine would react to something she said. She was unpredictable and blunt and fiery, and it was fascinating. Elena could understand why people flocked towards her - for the pure and simple challenge of figuring her out. She was an enigma, and to be the one person that could get close enough to her to understand her and win her love would be to own the world.

There was a knock on the door and Damon stepped into the room, an inquisitive look on his face. "How are you ladies?" he asked, walking in and kissing both girls on the cheek before sitting down in a chair next to Elena, interlacing their fingers.

"Well, as far as replacements for me go, at least you found one with a sense of humor," Katherine stated with a wink.

"Easy on the venom, Kat," he warned while lifting their entwined hands to place a quick kiss on Elena's knuckles.

Katherine rolled her eyes and heaved an exaggerated sigh. "If she can't take a little teasing, how do you ever hope to make this work?" she responded huffily.

"She's right, you know," Elena said with a smirk. "You've said way worse things to my face."

"I was young and stupid back then," Damon returned with a fake pout.

"Well, she's young and stupid now," Elena replied with a smirk and a small wave towards her sister's bed. "She'll learn. No one can resist my charms forever." Damon's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Katherine broke out into another burst of jingling laughter.

"I like her better by the minute," Katherine commented with a wide smile.

"We should get going," Damon stated, getting up. "Our plane leaves in an hour and a half."

"Alright, well thanks for coming to see me and breaking my heart," Katherine replied, sitting up slowly.

Damon walked over to her bed and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thanks, kitten," he murmured, certain that she knew exactly what he was thanking her for. "Good to have you back."

"You too, stud. Don't be a stranger," she replied as she buried her face against his neck. When he pulled away, she gave him a weak smile. "You too, creepy girl," she called out to Elena.

"I promise," she returned with a smile and bent over to hug her sister goodbye. It was the first time they actually touched and Elena felt a strange jolt when the other girl's arms closed around her shoulders and her hair blew into her face. She smelled unfamiliar and her skin felt unfamiliar, too, but Elena still had a sense of deep connection. "I'm glad I got to meet you after all," she said quietly, causing Katherine to chuckle lightly.

"Have a save trip," she called after the couple as they walked out of her hospital room.

As Elena closed the door, Damon swung an arm over her shoulders. "How are you really?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

"I'm good," she replied, turning towards him and closing her arms around his waist. "You're here. I'm perfect."

"Yes, you are," he agreed with a smirk that made her laugh before he leaned down to kiss her. "How about you and I get out of here and check out that future, that everyone's always talking about?" he proposed, leaning back a little but never loosening his arms around her.

"I'd say that's probably the best plan you've had all year," she agreed with a grin.

"Best plan of my life," he returned before leaning down for another kiss, the first of many.

A/N: So yes, this is it. Can you believe it? I can't! I finished my first fic. What a journey! Thanks so so so much to everyone who's been on it with me. I appreciate all the support I've gotten from all of you and I'm so grateful that I've come to be able to call some of you my friends. Some of the most amazing people I know, I've met through writing here and all of you have enriched my life! In particular, I'd like to thank NyEspi and Katy5219, who are both amazing writers and who have both supported me immensely from the very beginning and I can never thank them enough. There have been other amazing people who deserve my eternal gratitude and you guys know who you are! I hope I'm not forgetting anyone, please forgive me if I do, but Mak, Ash, Jenn, Carol, Layla, Val, Laura (and a bunch of you whose real names I don't know), I could never have done this without you. Thanks to everyone who's ever followed or faved this or been so kind as to drop me a review. Each and every alert makes my day and you have brought me more happiness over the past year and a half than you can imagine. This has been wonderful! Thank you for making this an amazing experience for me. And now, before I start to cry my eyes out, I'll say goodbye and may all your dreams come true. I love you all!