So, a week of working, the on and off's of a plot, and a heck of a lot of distractions bring me this. Ladies and gents, I bring you a new Christmas one-shot, inspired by the song Shine by the Plain White T's (my fave of their songs). Not as good as my Tamers one from last year, in my honest opinion, but I rushed in this because with not much time, I really had to cut to the chase.

Anyway, this is my project that's been taking up my life for the past 7 straight hours, as I tried frantically to get this done for you guys and there was a lot of research involved, as the place they go to is actually a real place. It's 2:30 am, Christmas morning and I am as sleepy as can be! Sorry this one-shot kinda sucks and it skips around like...a lot, and most of it is just Mirai thinking to herself, but really I'm not gonna remember even completing this when I wake up in...probably 9 hours from when I go to sleep. Zzzz...

Oh, by the way, this takes place after the sequel and after that Valentine's Day one-shot, as it's mentioned in here. My timelines are all screwy...

Well, I hope you enjoy wasting your time reading this one, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! :3

Shine

A week.

It's coming in one week. I couldn't put up with the fact. My calendar didn't lie, it didn't get screwed up in its printing, despite how much I pleaded to it every morning since the first of the month. Now it was the eighteenth and there was no way in hell time was gonna stop, no matter who I was or how much I had to bribe it with.

Seven days. Seven.

I didn't need a calendar to know it was coming. Like the sausage and pepperoni pizza I was cooking in the oven, I could smell its aroma in the air. Except unlike the pizza, this scent put me in one of those moods that just might've considered me to be a relative of the Grinch, that creepy, sour, small-hearted, green guy himself.

That's right. Christmas blues. So sue me. I dare you.

So as I took out my pizza and began to slice it in more or less even portions, I could only have a rather dispiriting scowl on my face. I could hear my mom watching Frosty The Snowman in the other room, probably bundled up in a blanket with coffee or something, but I decided it'd be best for me to ignore her. Those sort of movies irritated me, with their pathetic, attempted plots and their childish endings. But this part of Christmas wasn't what bothered me the most; that would've been stupid.

"Knock, knock! Miri, ya here?"

I set the pizza cutter down and grabbing a warm, oily slice, I made my way to the entry room. "Yah?" A long string of cheese extended from my lips to the pizza as I set my gaze upon an overly-happy Takuya Kanbara that was very underdressed.

He leaned on the doorframe trying to look like the smooth-talking moron he was with merely jeans, a black tee with a yellow stripe across the chest, and a fuzzy scarf to keep himself warm. The blockhead.

"Hey, you know that white stuff outside? That's called snow, idiot. And usually that means it's cold," I retorted flatly, narrowing my eyes at him. I knew that he sometimes wasn't the smartest of guys that I'd come to know, but this went past any of them. This was a sign of his common sense, or lack thereof.

He chuckled, his brown eyes disappearing with his classic smile appearing in exchange. His smugness was quick to make its debut, following suit with that ridiculous smirk. "I'm so hot, I don't need a coat."

I wanted to throw something at him. He had so much cockiness that it surprised me his ego could fit through the door properly.

His attention was immediately averted before I could respond, however, and he neared me quickly, giving an "Ooh, pizza," snatched said food from me, and walked out of the room with it half-eaten in one bite. Okay, what the hell was that?

I decided to leave the thievery go and followed him back into the kitchen, questioning to the intrusive, no-sense-of-boundaries brunette-haired teen, "So exactly why are you here, at my house, eating my food?"

Shoving the whole crust of the piece of pizza into his piehole, he said with a stuffed mouth, saying it less than he was spraying it, "Do you want the truth or the lie I'm supposed to tell you?" He proceeded to grab a second slice and took a bite out of it, watching me watching him. He seemed indifferent about the expression I was casting him of repulsion.

"What do you think?" I scoffed, stealing the pizza from his hand and eating it in open mockery. "Because you know just how much I love getting lied to to my face." I frowned in dismay, chewing in slow motion. He was giving me a look that made me think he felt violated. And I didn't know if that was because of all of my sarcastic retorts or because I took his pizza.

He apparently decided to ignore whatever was annoying him, as he then answered in a snotty sort of manner, "A certain boy toy of yours—" I sent him a death glare for his terminology. "—doesn't know what to get you for Christmas. So what does his pretty lady want?"

My face turning a little pink at the wording, I looked about the room before giving a response. I could already see how this would play out: Another Christmas at home with family—or at least the family I had left. Christmas was always the hardest holiday to deal with, especially with my birthday just yesterday, the seventeenth; it was always the day that made me fully comprehend that there was someone missing, and being with the family together put this sense of negativity upon my being, reminding me that the happiness that was collected this time of year was only daintily woven together with unity, and that meant it could be ripped apart ever-so easily.

Koichi…

"I want to be away from home," I decided, hoping this would give Koji Minamoto, my dear, clever boy, the hint that I'd rather spend the day with his family than my own. And I figured that Kousei and Satomi Minamoto wouldn't mind my intrusion, since never once had I seen a look of disproval on either of their faces. But maybe, my pessimism always whispered in my ear, they asked their son what he saw in "this Kimishima girl", though I had to digress and stop concocting these things in my head, remembering they smiled when they saw "little Mirai-chan", as my optimism morphed their words to be heard as. Yeah. My head's screwed up.

Takuya's brow rose up in hearing my wish. "Uh…okay…Do you…" He scratched his head when searching for the proper words. "…want anything, you know…from Wal-Mart?" Yeah, it was obvious that Takuya didn't catch the hint, but that didn't worry me about Koji's level of understanding. When it came to comprehension—yeah, you get the point, there's no need for metaphoric parallels.

Shrugging, I responded, looking about at the decorations my family had forced me to put out about the room and so were done rather poorly, "I don't know, a candy cane." I really didn't care anymore at that point. "There, you got your answers, now get out of my house." I thrust my index finger in the direction of the door, hoping he'd get at least that hint.

He pulled out his phone, typed a text message faster than he thinks, and after clicking 'send', slipped it back into his pocket and stated with a faked heartbroken tone, "All right, all right. I can see when I'm not wanted…" He inserted a little, unnecessary sniffle, "I'll just go outside and freeze to death…" and began to mope over to the door (after snatching a few more slices of pizza, that is).

"Wait." His head shot around at me at the sound of my voice, looking as though he accomplished something major, like received my pity. I only broke into a minute smile, going over to him and taking off his scarf. I began to fold it slowly in my hands and said, "Enjoy the cold, Taky."

I opened the door for him and the rough, cold wind came rushing in all at once. Takuya stared hard at me with his deep, russet-hued eyes to compete with my mostly-serious expression. "Mirai, you better not—" He stopped abruptly, realizing he didn't really know what I was up to.

And this was about the time that I realized that I didn't really know, either.

But I tried not to let it phase me, so I gave a sarcastic oh-I'm-so-scared tone as I snorted, "Ooh, you're not using my nickname. I'd better watch out." And just as I said so, I shoved him out the door and closed it quickly behind him.

I ran my fingers over the scarf. It was apparently hand-woven since I saw no tag sewn on it anywhere; it was a nice, soft cotton with simple designs embroidered on it. It held a pleasant hominess to it, so that brought me to think that Takuya's girlfriend, Tamiko Hira or Tami as she preferred being called, had made it. That smart, skilled girl was full of so many surprises, it shouldn't have surprised me that her talents went into Home Ec.

Takuya, on the other hand, had his own range of talents. He excelled highly in athletics, but suffered with academics. He was one of those kids who spent his time in the classroom doing more snoozing than studying. He said school was boring because of the reason that he was too smart for it. Yeah, okay. He could tell himself that all he wanted, but that didn't make it true.

I just hoped he wouldn't completely dismiss what I had said about what I had wanted. Even though Takuya might not've understood exactly what I was getting at, I knew Koji of all people would.

I hardly ever had to tell Koji a single thing. The silence that I could put between us with certain expressions was enough to tell him exactly what he needed to know. And in his bright blue eyes, he could give me a better reply than words couldn't possibly dream of.

Two days.

"Okay, seriously, Koji, what are you doing?" I stood blandly, out of place, my hands lying limp at my sides, frowning in my effort to not break out beaming. "I feel like a hostage." I was blindfolded, one of my least favorite of the raven-haired teen's ideas but he had told me it was worth it, leaving me no choice but to believe him and comply. And right now I was trying to pick up words as he was talking to someone. His voice was a whisper, making my effort to listen in all the harder, though that was probably his intention.

"Not much longer, Mirai," he responded lightly, squeezing my arm so I knew he wasn't farther than an arm's length away from me. "Few more minutes. Ten, tops."

I groaned. I heard loud noises all around me, the bustling of people talking and walking about, like the sounds one might hear at the mall. I caught ear of a voice over a loudspeaker, but I was too busy trying to piece together Koji's conversation to pick up what was said by it. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic and I thought the darkness would maybe make me somehow fall asleep on my feet, as I was beginning to get a little tired for no real reason.

Bouncing up and down slightly on my toes, I couldn't deny my anticipation. When Koji wanted to keep something like this from me, it was always something worth waiting for. I probably looked like ten kinds of a moron standing wherever I was with a blindfold over my eyes, not really saying or doing much of anything, but I hoped the embarrassment wouldn't be in vain. Any sort of awkward thing like this was something that would linger in my mind for a long period of time unless properly justified.

"Okay, we're good to go." Koji put his arm around my back, curling his fingers lightly around my arm, sending a pulse of electricity up and down my loins. He usually didn't show such a personal display of affection, especially with so many people about. He preferred to keep things on a more inconspicuous level, so I wasn't sure if the surprise of the PDA or the somewhat erotic touch affected me more.

He led me to a quieter area, with only whispers around us. I could tell just by the sort of air around us that Koji had a smile on his face. I didn't have to see him to know it was there. He must've really outdone himself this time, as he said, manually using his hands to pivot me in the direction I apparently needed to go, "Okay, you can sit down."

I cautiously set my body down, for the chance I might miss the chair and end up hitting the floor, and then felt the surface I placed myself upon. It was a single-person seat with cloth cushioning and arm rests, kind of like a movie theatre chair, but I doubted that was where Koji took me. "Uh…now what?" I questioned with a small smile, getting a little bit more anxious.

"You can look now." His own anticipation was now a little evident in his voice, enough that it made me blush a slightly because he sounded so cute. He was probably now wearing a full-scale grin; I could sense it by his tone and just how excited it sounded.

Grasping the blindfold with my hands, I pulled it up off my head and looked about. My heart nearly stopped. There were rows of chairs identical to the one I was sitting in, a round window was next to me and when I looked out, I saw a large building and pavement all around it. A little ways off from where we were, I spotted a couple long runways.

Koji was taking me away from home.

I had to stop myself from squealing like a little girl. Throwing my arms around his neck in a hug, "Koji! You must be kidding! This is too insane!" I exclaimed, feeling adrenaline taking over and leaving me unable to stop beaming. "Where are we going?" I had to admit that I was sounding nothing short of a little child on Christmas morning, and with this realization, my face turned crimson.

He laughed out loud at my anticipation and answered, "In about ninety minutes from now we'll land at New Chitose Airport in Hokkaido. Then we'll catch a coach to Rusutsu and arrive at Rusutsu Resort." He watched my expression closely for a change.

My jaw automatically dropped open. He was clearly one of those above-and-beyond boys; God, I loved that boy. "You got—we're going—so now this—" Words sputtered from my mouth incompletely; I really didn't know how to respond. "My God, you are amazing!" And placed my lips on his mouth. If there was one way to express gratitude to someone that just did…what he just did, that was the way to do it. And I really didn't know any other way.

A while into the trip, after we had gone through procedures and taken off, I found myself beginning to doze, even though it was only the middle of the day at that point. I rubbed my eyes repeatedly, trying to keep them from drooping, but then my mouth started feeling tired as well with all of its constant yawning taking place.

I put my chin into my palm, tilting my cheek to rest against my fingers, and closed my eyes. The eagerness hadn't subsided, it barely tapered down, but still I found myself sleepy. I would've assumed I'd be wired, but it was quite the opposite. It was as if the adrenaline had worn me out and left me a little drained.

Getting really close to falling asleep, my mind beginning to shut down, I suddenly felt a thumping against the back of my seat. I jerked into attention and then fell back into the seat, figuring it was merely the person behind me just accidentally hitting it with his knees. No harm, no foul, I figured with a shrug, closing my eyes once again. Oh well…

But to my dismay, I felt another thud. I ignored it. Thump. Dismiss. Thump. Dismiss. Thump. Dismiss. Thump.

I spun around, the rest of my patience deteriorated with that last thud, fuming. "Hey! Wha—" I stopped short. I didn't frickin' believe what I saw. "Takuya? Tamiko? Wha-what are you guys doing here?" I turned and glared at Koji, who by this time had noticed what I was doing and had a look on his face that said he didn't really believe it, either. "Koji, did you invite them?"

My blue-eyed boy opened his mouth to speak, but the brunette, the one who had been thumping on my seat, beamed in his cheesy way and cut in, "No, actually Koji told us not to come—" Well, now I know how well they listen to orders. "—but we decided to come along and keep an eye on you kids so there's no action in the sack until an appropriate age, if ya know what I mean." He gave a wink to Koji, who scowled as both of our cheeks reddened.

I narrowed my eyes. "Please let me hit him."

Tamiko laughed, her bright green eyes sparkling and revealing all of her white teeth in a wide smile. I had decent looks, but her appearance was just dazzling beyond belief. Takuya had found himself his own little angel. "You're better off ignoring him," she responded with a voice that had a bit of spunkiness in it. "That's what I do."

Takuya caught her remark and thrust his head towards her with a "You what?", causing her to erupt into more laughter. Koji and I merely watched in what had began a little, light-hearted bickering between them, which eventually spurred into a little sissy fight in which they were slapping each other with their eyes squeezed shut. They are one crazy couple…

It was dark by the time we got to the resort. My drowsiness was instantly dispersed as soon as I saw our room. It was a four-person, Japanese-style tatami room that was more spacious than any hotel room I'd ever been in. Its colors were mixtures of off-whites, tans, and browns that were easy on the eyes. The design was simple, although the flat-screen TV kind of put off the traditional sort of effect that its layout was supposed to show.

I flipped on a light and dropped my bags just inside the door, running in like a little kid that just gained admittance into a candy store that had all of its sweets free for the taker. "Suggoi! It's the best room I've ever been in!" I ran over to Koji, beaming. "I love y—" I stopped myself; I was very careful when it came to those three words. "I love it!" Truth was, I hadn't ever said the words to him, despite the several years we were together. It was my insecurity getting to me.

"Yeaaah, buddy!" Takuya tromped in past us, hand-in-hand with Tamiko, his duffle bag slung on his opposite shoulder. "Check out this a killer room, Tami!" He noticed the LED television and pretty much forgot the world around him existed. "Dude! Nice! Look at this TV, Tami!" Just off from the TV, he then saw a bar fridge. "Dude, we can get drunk here, Tami!"

She giggled in her amusement at his last remark, taking in this tour even though she had eyes and saw everything before he pointed it out. She seemed to love how much enjoyment that he was getting out of discovering everything he found in the room. I was wondering how long it'd take before he noticed the hair dryer and made a point to make sure Tamiko knew it was there. That crazy brunette knew no sanity.

I walked over to the other side of the room, where a wall scroll was hanging from a small nail. The characters were written in a fancy, Gyousho style and said 'strong-hearted'. Its simplicity and the black color of the characters on the white color of the wall and scroll made it pop out. I could've seen it from the other side of the room, but I developed a strange desire to go up to it and run my fingers over the paint. The words were different from what I was used to seeing; I had a scroll on the wall of my bedroom back in Shibuya that had a dragon and tiger with various writings on it about courage.

"Hey, great idea, Miri!" Takuya came up behind me and took off the scroll from the little nail, replacing it with that white, mostly-translucent shirt he bought on Valentine's Day for himself on a hanger. "I needed a good place to put this so I can wear it tomorrow without it getting all wrinkled. 'Cause if that happens, I'm not good with irons."

"Guys, check it out!" Tamiko slid two panels on the wall apart, revealing class that separated us from the drop from our floor to the ground level. "We have a WINDOW!"

I groaned; this was exactly how things were supposed to go. I walked back over to the door and grabbed my bag by the strap, dragging it across the floor to the bedroom, away from the main room of which Takuya and Tamiko were exploring and almost tearing apart, and muttered back to them, "I'm going to bed."

Sliding the door open, there were four traditional Japanese futons laid about on the tatami tile flooring, sleepwear folded neatly on the end of each one. I walked over to the one farthest from the door and dropped the strap of my bag. My eyes just rested on the futon for a moment, staring it down, but really not seeing it, per se. I really didn't care about where I slept at this point.

My mind was reeling with images and sounds. I could still hardly grasp the fact that Koji had really done this. I had asked one simple thing of him, just to be away from home for Christmas, but I still was left with that question that plagued me every time that something like this happened, every time that he surprised me with something overwhelming: Why?

Not that I was complaining about everything he did for me, but it just didn't seem right to me. He had a seriously under-paying job as a waiter at this seriously under-the-weather restaurant, and he squandered all his money away just to see a smile on my face. It made me wonder about his intelligence suddenly; he needed the money to pay for college tuition when he graduated high school, he needed it to buy a car, he needed it to support himself when he moved out of his parents' place. But then…why did he constantly throw it away for me?

When I told Takuya what I wanted was to be away, I expected Koji to know what I meant, yet still question later about it to me. It suddenly seemed so irrational to me; what would he have done if Takuya told him my request wrong, or it got lost in translation, or I didn't really want any of this? What if he had done it all and it turned out to be all just a big misunderstanding, a mistake?

I pulled off my sweatshirt, dropped it, and let it lay on the floor. I proceeded with undoing my belt, which happened absentmindedly and without me actually feeling the metal of the buckle. These questions had taken my full attention. Why does it seem so sudden that he's been spending so much on me when I'm going through emotional problems?

Frowning at that sudden question, I bent down and picked up the sleeping gown from off my futon, unfolding as I did so. It was a light silk gown with a cloth belt around the waist that was a gentle robin's egg blue with darker blue flower print on it. I looked it up and down for any modesty issues before placing it back on my bed. This was for sleeping, not sex appeal. I wasn't really planning on getting laid tonight, no matter how horny Takuya thought I was.

Undoing the button on my jeans, I began to go back into thought. I tried to think of some sort of reason why Koji would flush so much money down the drain, and for so many mostly useless reasons too. He never let me pay for anything with my own money, so now it seemed my job had to high of wages compared to his. It couldn't have been for no reason, but I couldn't think of any reasons for such irrationality.

The general pattern ran, however. I got moody, he bought me things. I get better, he's happy with my positive bounce-back. I start to go back into a downward spiral, he gets me something to put a smile on my face. I smile, he smiles. I get Christmas blues, he goes overboard…

I could see that chain of cause-and-effect with no problem. But it still didn't fit right; he only recently started doing such within the year, somewhere around February was what I assumed, because I couldn't think of anything major before that. Valentine's Day, my first recollection of an expensive purchase, I got him a cheesy sweater (only because Takuya took that sexy shirt I was gonna buy), and he got me a necklace with the pure silver chain.

Nothing came to me. His behavior has been so different with that sort of thing, and I couldn't put my finger upon just what was making it so. I refused to ask him about it; I didn't tell him as much as I used to, since it all seemed so insignificant now. And anyway, he just seemed to be too concerned with what was gonna make me love him even more.

I put on the silk gown and tied the belt so it could rest on my hips. Leaving my clothes scattered around, I got under the covers on the futon and laid down on my side, curling my knees up almost to my abdominals. My head was turned so I could stare up at the blackness of the ceiling. My mind was still going around in circles, doing loop-the-loops inside my skull. There was a great, big hole where a part of my peace of mind used to be.

What is missing? I know something's missing.

"Hey, Koji, can I talk to you about something? It's been on my mind for a while and it's kinda bothering me, so I thought maybe you can give me some advice or at least let me get all this off my chest…"

"Sorry, Mirai, I can't talk right now. Here, take my wallet and buy yourself something pretty. That'll make you feel better."

"But, Koji, I—"

"Mirai, I don't wanna hear it right now."

My eyes snapped open at the words. I rose up into a sitting position in slow, half-asleep motion. Glancing over at the other futons in the room, they were all occupied from what I could see. Well, except for Takuya's. He was the one person who had managed to roll off it during the night and was now sleeping on the floor while tangled up in a blanket. Typical.

I pushed the blankets off my body and got up. Creeping over towards the door with my bag in tow (and having to step over the zonked out brunette along the way), I opened it gently and slipped through a small, body's width-sized opening. Closing it behind me, I made my way over to the closed window of which Tamiko had opened the night before, and cracked it a few inches. The light that flooded in blinded me, causing the question of what time it was.

Leaving that inquiry unsolved, I headed for the bathroom where I showered and changed into a fresh outfit. I ran a brush through my hair once or twice, but left it be mostly how it was. It really didn't concern me, since I wasn't gonna go out of my way to impress anyone.

By the time I was out of the bathroom, Koji was up and looking around in the little fridge. At the sound of my entry, he didn't bother looking and putting a smile on his face, he merely greeted me, "Good morning, Mirai."

I blinked a few times, as if trying to piece together the meaning of his words, despite their simplicity. Was that it? Did I have it figured out now? "Uh-huh," was the only way I could answer, not really knowing how to respond to his simplest of salutations. I stared hard at his hands, which were busy at work digging around for something to eat.

At my response, he turned. His mouth was an O that expressed a little bit of confusion. He studied my face like he was looking for something specific. And I wasn't sure if he found what he was searching for, because he then questioned, "Are you okay?"

Scowling, I began to think again. Did my dream get it right or am I just paranoid? It just fits so well, though… "If I said I'm not, what would you do?" I scoffed, crossing my arms, feeling defiant because of this feeling I was getting from him. I suddenly was beginning to feel the water from my hair soaking through the back of my shirt and wetting my skin.

He said the words. "Then I'll get you anything to make you better."

I felt like I could slap him, like I would actually be willing to do something to harm him. Anger was beginning to boil from in my chest upward. "Really, Koji? That's what you'd do? You think buying things for me will solve all my problems, just so you don't have to listen to them? I thought you were different than that—you used to be different than that!" I couldn't stop now; the words were all just pouring out so fast. I didn't care how loud I was, even as out of the corner of my eye I saw Tamiko slide open the door to the bedroom, even as Takuya entered my vision and looked at me with that one expression that I loved so much I hated. "You used to care about what I said; you actually took time to know me in and out! But here's my question, Koji: When did you stop caring about the crap I carried, about all this baggage that you and I and everyone else all know I have? Did it all just annoy you so much that you couldn't take it anymore, so now you're flat broke 'cause you were trying to shut me up with gifts? Is this why you brought me here?"

I couldn't wait for him to answer; I didn't even intend on him answering. And even if I had given him time, I doubt he would've replied. The whole time he watched me, lips flat-lined, but his irises like a liquid sapphire. As he took it all in, his expression didn't change, and I couldn't stand it. That whole silence that surrounded him as I screamed, the fact that he didn't even once attempt to cut in; that killed like nothing else. My retaliation was made to counteract it, to hide the hurt, "So, Koji, why don't you just go to hell?"

The room was deathly silent. I turned and went out the door. I didn't bother taking the elevator down to the floor level; it'd give me less time to think. So as I treaded level by level down the steps, each footstep seemed to echo a new adjective.

Lying…

Double-crossing…

Vain…

Deceiving…

Presumptuous...

Artificial…

Insincere...

I stopped. I hadn't run out of words, I couldn't have run out of words. There was no way I was out of ways to describe that stupid kid. He hadn't run out of ways to play me, so there should've been an equal number of ways to title him. I'm not out yet, I'm not out yet. You just want me to be out, Koji Minamoto… The name stung in my head like a syringe in a vein. There was no excusing what he did, not caring about my feelings…

"Mirai!"

Not bothering to turn and see who was descending quickly down the stairs, I placed myself down on the step I was at and waited for her to arrive. Tamiko Hira; Takuya probably sent her to have a girl-to-girl talk or whatever so everything can go back to "normal" get all dandy again. Yeah, as normal as it was when he stopped listening…

She was out of breath from pursuing me down several flights, so I could see the relief on her face when she saw that I wasn't gonna go anywhere any time soon. "I hope you realize why I'm here," she began, looking off in the direction I was staring to figure out just what I was looking at. "Because then it just might make things easier to get right again."

Her words and tone reminded me of Zoe. The way that Italian girl would make sure we were on the same level before rushing in her words; the similarity was unmistakable. She was assuming my intelligence, while still making sure I realize I'm not a total know-all. It seemed all the girls Takuya had gone out with had this lay-the-groundwork-firmly sort of attitude.

I narrowed my eyes, still not looking directly at the ebony-haired girl. I could see her fine in my peripheral vision. "Things never were right," I mumbled, resting my arms on my legs. "You can't buy happiness, and it doesn't allow you to avoid negative emotion. That self-centered S.O.B. doesn't even realize that."

"Hey! I will not allow you to badmouth Koji-san like that!" More of Zoe-mimicking-speech again. Except I had forgotten she titled him with –san, since apparently he put on that formality sort of appearance that forces the suffix to come out. "He's one of the sweetest boys I know and he would never do anything you may claim of him!" Her voice rose louder, but not as high as Zoe's would've gotten at this point.

I thrust my head towards her, my gaze tight with fury. "Okay, then why did he?" I snapped, my fists clenching involuntarily in my lap. "Any time I had a problem, he didn't care; he just wanted to shut me up! That's why we're here right now!" I rose to my feet and her eyes followed my motion. "He didn't want to hear that I'm still bitter this time of year about my brother! He hates talk of my emotions, especially when I have the irrational actions to go with it! He doesn't care that Koichi passed exactly eight years ago from last Saturday and that maybe every year I'm reminded of him and it still hurts to think about him!"

"He's giving you exactly what you asked for!" Her mouth was a flat line, and she began to move her arms along with her words. "You said you wanted to be away from home for Christmas. Look at where you are! It's Christmas Eve, and you're at a beautiful resort in Hokkaido! He's giving you your Christmas wish."

Turning my eyes off into the distance, my gaze held low, I replied quietly, "He didn't ask me what was wrong; he always used ask me why I'd feel the way I do, and now all it seems like he's trying to do is satisfy me enough that I'll just keep my issues away from him. He doesn't even try to help me through them anymore, and because of it, I…feel so alone."

She smiled slightly, seemingly knowing just what to say now. She touched my arm, her green eyes glistening like dew on the grass. "I can see just how much he cares about you just by the way he looks at you. That way his eyes shines when he talks about you makes me smile every second I see it. He just wants to make you happy, and to be honest, I wish I could have the same kind of relationship that you guys have. It's like…no words even have to be said for you to understand each other. Maybe he tries too hard to make you love him, and gets carried away with material things, but he practically worships the ground you walk on, and there's no way he could stop caring about you."

My cheeks turned a bright pink hue at her words, my head beginning to spin, my heart began to play a hard drumbeat just like the way it did when him and I first met, that day at Jiyuugaoko Station when I had collided into him in my haste to get onto the Shibuya-bound train. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. So instead, I went into motion, spinning around and ascending back up the stairs in a full run.

I burst back into the room and stopped in the doorway, catching my breath. Koji stopped what he was doing, turned, and stared at me, his mouth slightly agape. I stumbled in and he rose from where he was sitting, standing almost completely still. I made my way to him and put my gaze at the floor, spurting out, "I'm sorry, Koji, I-I just…I just…I just…" All words, all sentences, they all failed me. I didn't know how to put it all together.

He leaned over and picked up a mug in his hands, one by the handle, one supporting the bottom. It was filled with hot chocolate with a couple marshmallows floating in it. Steam wafted from it. He held it out to me, and smiling slightly, he said, "Here. Something to gather your thoughts."

I took it and put it up to my lips, taking the smallest of sips from it. I closed my eyes and thought for a moment before stating, "It has…mint in it."

He laughed quietly. His words surprised me more than anything. "Yeah, I put that candy cane you wanted in it."

I stopped abruptly, my heart going into overdrive. Setting the mug back down, I didn't remove my eyes from Koji's; he had to be an angel sent by God Himself. "Koji, I…" I paused, even though I knew I didn't have to. Those three words didn't seem so scary anymore. "I love you."