Author's Note:

After discovering the eternal joys of how to format fanfics, I decided this sad, rather naff Mary-Sue needed a huge revamp and a slight revise. Now I have a closer look, there seems to be about a million spelling areas. I'm going to correct them, and hopefully, this will be a lot easier read. Disclaimer: No, I don't own LOTR. I'm not Tolkein risen from the dead nor am I Peter Jackson.

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Chapter 1

"Have you found one yet?" Alice Bailey asked her twelve-year-old sister Shari, who was currently picking out their new cat as sadly their dearly loved old one had been run over by practically blind Mrs Jones. It was a wonder to Alice that she still had her licence.

"No," was Shari's dull reply. Alice fervently wished for a 99% "fat free" Pinky bar right at that moment. That or a coffee caramel frappucino, complete with whipped cream and caramel sauce. She mustered up all the patience she could.

"Let me have a look," Alice said gently. She looked around shelves and shelves of kittens wanting a home in the RSPCA shelter. She'd take all of them if expense and space weren't in the equation whatsoever for their sad faces making her feel seriously guilty they could only pick one. Suddenly, right then, one cat immediately caught her eye. It was a white kitten small in size, very fluffy with huge, rather stunning blue eyes and the most gorgeous creature she had ever seen. She looked at it closely to see what she thought was human qualities in its adorable little face.

"There's no cute kittens!" Shari protested.

"What's wrong with this one?" Alice wanted to know.

"Ooooooo!" Squealed Shari. "That kitty's cute! I didn't see that one before! It's pretty, let's get it!" Alice breathed an inner sigh of relief. Their mother, Lilly, poked her head round the door.

"So have you chosen a cat yet?" She asked.

"Yup!" Shari chirped.

"We've chosen this one," Alice said pointing to the kitten she had laid eyes upon before. They called the keeper of the shelter in.

"I'm glad this little one's got a home," She remarked. "I think it's the most deserving. The little thing's a he but it's quiet as a mouse."

"What are we going to call it 'Lis?" Shari asked.

"Quicksilver," Alice replied. "After the surf brand." So, Quicksilver the kitten became the newest member of the Bailey family. Little did they know the cat wasn't who he seemed.

Legolas sat in the box they had put him in discontentedly. Gandalf said he was going to turn him into a Higher Earth creature for this mission but he didn't say it was going to be a CAT. Sure he wanted a mission, but going to a world filled with humans, as a creature far lower down the intelligence and food chain was NOT what the elf had in mind. Curse Elrond. Curse Elrohir. Curse his father. Curse Gandalf. He remembered what mission he had been sent to go on. Elrohir and Elrond had asked him to go on a mission to earth to find Elrohir's only daughter, Lindelë, who had been missing for many years. Everyone had searched the far reaches of Middle Earth for her, even Mordor, but had found no trace. One day, Gandalf found trace of her in a human dominated place called Higher Earth and Legolas, being the only one fit for the mission, was sent on it as a cat. He had seen little of the place and what he had seen wondered him. Little black boxes had pictures in them and people rode unhorsed driven carts. He wanted to know what magic these humans had discovered. In fact he was in an unhorsed carriage now. He heard the humans speaking in strange voices. He could understand them of course, common tongue existed in Middle Earth too, but their voices were so strange, so dull, so unemotional. So unlike when his kindred spoke their own tongue. He felt extremely homesick at that moment, remembering Mirkwood, his home.

"Mum, can we take Quicksilver out of his box?" The younger girl asked, Legolas recalled her as being called Shari.

"I don't know..." A woman began.

"Aw Mum, C'mon," said the elder girl, Legolas also recalled her name. It was Alice. "I'll make sure he doesn't tear the upholstery."

"Only if you can be VERY sure," Said the woman, Legolas suspected her to be Alice and Shari's mother, in a very stern voice. "If I see as much as a tear a millimetre wide that cat is going to the vets to be put down." Legolas stiffened inside the box. Put down? Whatever did that mean? By the sound of her voice, something lethal. He made a note to himself to be very well behaved. Small hands lifted him out of the dark box and into glaring sunlight. Legolas blinked his eyes adjusting to the glare. That sun was too bright. He was put down on the seat. He glanced round the cart, taking in his surroundings. Alice was staring out the window with strange black cords sticking out of her ears tapping an unusually shaped object singing a tune which made Legolas want to cover his ears. But Alice had a nice voice, despite the bad tune and awful lyrics. Suddenly the breath was taken from him as Shari drew him into a suffocating hug. It took awhile to see that Shari was squeezing the hell out of him, and the person to see it was Alice.

"Shari, he's a living breathing animal not a bloody stuffed toy," Alice scolded in a stern voice. "Don't squeeze the poor thing so hard."

"Alice!" said an admonishing voice from the front. "How many times have I told you not to swear in front of your sister?"

"Sorry mum," Alice mumbled. "I was stopping her from unintentionally murdering Quicksilver."

"Shari, give Quicksilver to Alice please," Their mother said.

"But Mum!" Shari protested. Their mother gave her a warning look. "Hmph" Shari crossed her arms. Legolas felt gentle hands encircling his waist as he was lifted into Alice's lap.

"You're a cutie aren't you?" She crooned stroking the fur on his back (A/N I mention BACK for all of you sick people out there who may be happening to get rude ideas from non-existent subtext). Legolas loved this extra attention, and found himself purring. Having an attractive human who think you're the cutest kitten in the world, didn't seem too bad to Legolas, not too bad at all.

"Alice!" Her mother called to Alice, who was downstairs in the basement which she referred to as her "sanctuary". This was because the basement housed a huge bookcase, a foosball table, a stereo, a TV, her electric piano, piles of old music and the computer. Alice spent most of her time on the computer writing, surfing websites and downloading MP3s. Presently she was supposed to be doing her homework. But if homework involves listening to Blink 182 at full volume, playing the air guitar while answering MP3s, then she was doing everything but.

"Yes Mum?" She yelled back. She felt a warm ball rub against her legs. She sat back down on the computer swivel chair picked Quicksilver up carefully and placed him in her lap.

"Could you come and set the table in 15 minutes?" Her mother asked.

"Ok." Was her dull answer. In her yelling she failed to notice Quicksilver holding the edge of the computer desk with his paws.

"Oh Quicksilver," Alice giggled and set him on top of the deck. To her surprise the kitten explored every object on the desk, like a human would.

"Strange cat," She muttered to herself, letting it go not knowing to the full extent of the strangeness that this cat held beneath the surface.

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Doesn't it look just so much better? Yes. No. I don't know. Anyway. Did you enjoy it peoples? Probably not. Anyway. If you didn't like it because it was a Mary Sue, there's a lesson to be learnt. Stop reading Mary Sues dammit!! Oh yes. And you are much obliged to review. That would be really cool. Toodles!