Four years ago, when I first wrote this, I never imagined I would add a second chapter, but the angst within me realized I couldn't let this opportunity pass. So once again, Emma experiences a blue, sorrowful Christmas.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you may recognize.

Emma wanted to completely ignore Christmas. Actually, if she had her way, no one would be celebrating the holiday season. No sweet scents in the air, no red and green decorations, no lights, and certainly no music. She considered what kind of magical repercussions may come from holding back the snow, seriously thinking through the possibility of keeping even this element of the winter holidays at bay. In the two separate Christmas holidays that she had spent in Storybrooke, nothing good had come from them.

Once again, she was dealing with the loss of a loved one. But this hurt even worse than when Graham had died. Even though Graham had died at the whims of Regina, Emma's pain had eventually faded. She had found a renewal of her old love for Neal, a rebound relationship with Walsh (even if she wanted to forget about that most days) and most importantly, she had experienced what true love could be as she allowed herself to be with Killian. But her true love was now gone.

She knew that her family and friends meant well, but every one of their actions made her angrier and more determined to hate the holidays. Her mother had offered words of encouragement, telling her that the pain Emma was currently feeling would one day fade, and the sooner she started living her life normally, the faster that pain would go away. David would hold her close, offering physical comfort, while reminding her that Killian had done many things of his own free will to bring him to the ultimate end. Nothing that they said offered any of the intended comfort.

Henry was the only one who did offer her some solace in her immense grief. He would sit by her side, not talking, not moving, just being there for her. Emma would put her arms around him, and allow silent tears to flow down both of their cheeks. When she was finally ready to talk, she would share happy memories of her true love, and Henry would reciprocate with his own cherished time spent with Killian. Each time they shared, Emma's pain would flare up to the surface once again, but it was softer, easier to manage, and she knew that while she would never stop loving Killian, she would be able to continue on.

But continuing on did not mean that she had to be happy with the entire world around her calling out happy greetings of "Merry Christmas" and fretting over giving and receiving gifts. The cheerful attitude in the air just felt false and forced to Emma. She retreated to her home, alone in the darkness and stark walls of her personal boycott of Christmas. In her solitude, she was able to imagine what Christmas could be like if Killian were there with her.

She thought that he would be more excited than any little kid about the lights, and the colors, and the presents that came on Christmas morning. Though he didn't put it on display, he had a lovely singing voice that she knew would melt her heart if he sang Christmas songs to her. He would wake her up eagerly on Christmas morning, telling her that Santa had come, and act surprised by the gifts that he had personally picked out early in the month. But because of his sacrifice, he wouldn't ever be able to experience what Christmas in this realm was.

Emma clutched Killian's ring to her chest and laid down on the couch. She allowed her grief to overwhelm her once again, tears building in her eyes. Her one reminder of Killian and how much he meant to her seemed to be the one thing that calmed her and gave her clarity. But as she lay there, trying to hold back her sorrow, she heard something much more solemn than the tinkling bells and cheesy music that had been floating on the air. It was a dark whispering, a remnant of the Dark Ones in her head once again. She sat up and began to follow the sound, determined to find the source of these dark whispers.

As she figured out what had happened, Gold's treachery and deceit, she also realized that her Christmas had just turned a corner. She could go to the Underworld, she could bring back her true love and live with him, together, sharing a heart like they were always meant to do. And she could finally have the future that Killian had promised her, including a Christmas where all her dreams came true.