A/N: So, as you may know I am giving Botox to my stories. Giving them a new face, I mean. Staring off with Paradise and Just Maybe, I am going to try and update every other day until they are completely revised. Right now I can barely look at them. Actually, I cannot even proof read them sometimes. I don't know why, but I never want to read my stories. Reviews are cherished though dolls! Dolls… Huh… Sorry about that! This is just a prologue.

Inspiration: Again, my mind is an abyss.

Dedication(s): This counts for every piece or writing, every word, every letter and every breath I take while of this website. Everything I do is for you guys. Even living! To you, who is sitting at your computer maybe even a few hours away from me. To you, who is across the globe but still reading this. To you, who has given up all hope on living. To you, who is cherished and loved by me. Never give up on yourselves. It is cliché, but I cry almost every time I read a review. People like me? People actually appreciate me, even though they have never met me? It is something I can never get over. If it were possible, I would come to each of you and thank you separately. Listen to me, and listen well. You are worth it. You are worth every step you take, and every moment you are alive. Your beauty is beyond comprehension. Excuse my language, but f*ck the haters! Screw the tiny flaws that you think you have. I will always be here for you guys. To my friends, and my family.

Disclaimer: I do not own HoA, SHINee or the 2012 MAMA's.

SIDE FREAKING NOTE: Don't even think about hating. I am in a bad mood. Do you want to know why? Because SHINee is now second in Best Male Dance Performance in the 2012 MAMA's. I feel alone with no friends and now this. THIS!

If you want to make me happy, vote for them in the 2012 MAMA's. ~hehe~ No but legit, I am sad, angry and hurt.

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Paradise

Chapter One

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She plopped down into the cold sand, while her hair was let down. The salty smell of the ocean seemed to always calm the pre-teen Nina Martin. Growing up in Maryland, the beach was always close by*. It was like a shower to her, being the place where she could freely think, while not being seen by others.

A soft breeze caused her to wrap the thin blanket around her tighter. The wrap belonged to her mother, Cheyenne. She and her husband Grady were hit by a truck and killed instantly. Nina was only a child then and moved in with her Grandmother, or 'Gran' as the brunette liked to call her.

The eleven year old blinked a few times and let sand run through her fingers. Her classmates constantly teased her. It had a massive impact on her. When Nina was four years old, she was diagnosed with Manic Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder*. Medication and therapy were a part of her daily lifestyle.

Daily, she was called names. Orphan, loner, ugly, fat and so on. It occasionally became physical. Nina tried to report it, but the teachers quote, '"Never saw it."

Her tutor and a first grade teacher was her closest friend. The girl would eat lunch with Mrs. Parlor every day. To her, it was the mother she never had. Nina would make up excuses constantly to go down to the woman and talk to her, while enjoying candy and juice. The teacher never minded, and liked the company.

Her eyelids began to close as she hummed along to a lullaby that her mother sang to her every night.

'Nina, please take care, and never forget to smile. Someday you'll become someone you always wanted to be, and where you can to what you want to do. That place is paradise. Someday you will be free.'

No matter what happened to her, Nina never doubted her mother's words. Not when she broke her leg by jumping off a swing, or when the most popular boy in class rejected her. It was a tune that always cheered her up and never failed to bring a smile to her face.

She began to sway, until finally she laid down and looked at the stars. Her family was up there. She knew that the brightest star were her parents smiling down on her.

Most people in her life seemed to be coming and going.

'Am I just a stage that everyone forgot about? Was I just a stepping stone in someone's life?' Her best friend had turned her back on her more than once. When you only have one friend though, you will begin to ignore the mistakes. Her parents were gone and the school was against her besides a teacher. Everyone was soon fading away and there was nothing Nina could do to prevent it.

A sudden wave hit her legs, making a shiver go up her spine. Getting up she placed the blanket on the stairs up to her home. It connected straight to the beach. She tip toed into the sea and dove under.

Although it was night, Nina had done this a million times. She had been caught in riptides and under toes and escaped by herself. Sharks never worried her. They probably should but Nina never saw the threat. Gran consistently worried for her for a while and then soon gave in to the midnight swimming.

A shell was felt underneath the hazel eyed girl. She scooped it up along with some sand. Stepping out of the water and taking her blanket, she hiked up the red wooden steps. Kathryn or Gran was making lasagna.

"Nina! You must be freezing. It's the middle of winter! Come and I'll give you some cocoa." The petite lady rushed to fetch new clothing and blankets. Nina just laughed.

"Gran, I am used to the cold. I have think blood."

"Well I for sure don't! Florida was nice and warm."

"Mm. We should go visit sometime. I want to see some palm trees and drink that orange juice you always talk about."

"It is good! All homemade and still sold in stores. But it's not all about palm trees you know."

The pre-teen let out another laugh. "I'm just teasing."

The lady ruffled her granddaughter's hair, but then made a face from the damp and salty hair.

Nina took the blankets from Gran along with the hot chocolate. While waiting for the lasagna, they began a game of checkers. They both loved to spend time with each other. Computers and other electronics came after family. Nina had realized that after her parents had passed.

The smell from the oven brought Gran over to check on the meal. It was done cooking. Salad and fruit was also brought to the table. The two ate and talked about the upcoming play that Nina was a part of. She only participated a few times but it was good enough for her.

After cleaning the dishes, the brunette showered and let the salt and sand run down the drain. She quietly hummed to herself.

Her hair was tangled, but the conditioner made it easy to brush through when she was done.

Looking in the mirror, Nina studied her flaws. She wanted to learn to accept them and move on, but people made it hard. How could you forget your mistakes and imperfections when they are pointed out each day?

She sighed and wrapped a towel around her thin frame and quickly changed into her pajamas. The down comforter brought warmth and soon she fell into a peaceful rest.

. . . . . .

First *: Yes, this is an actually disorder. It is not simple to diagnose. You can't just go to a doctor and get blood taken or something. It doesn't make you have flu-like symptoms. I saw a story where a doctor did that and I was deeply offended. "I have depression" is much different than "I am depressed." It's not a joke.

Second *: I don't live in Maryland. You will never find me. Santa Claus' workshop is in the middle of nowhere, so don't even try.