A/N: Hey guys! I'm really sorry about the really super delayed update. My computer got a wicked virus about a month and a half ago and I've been dealing with that for awhile. Not only that, I was trying to figure out where to go from here. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't up to par. D:

Also: Thanks everyone that reviewed and added this story to their watch! You are what made me actually sit down and write this second chapter. Hopefully my computer gets fixed this week and I can draw some art for you good people.

Chapter 2

Craig had immediately regretted the decision of indirectly agreeing to go to this party. Jim's party, right? Or was it Todd... Either way he was not happy when Kenny woke him up at nine sharp and his masturbation party started to seem not worth it anymore. Craig had definitely loved the idea of sleeping until about 1:00 AM and then just playing games until the sun showed it's ugly cancer inducing head.

But now Craig was sitting in the back seat of some girl's car that Kenny knew, driving to the party of some guy Kenny knew, to see people that Craig most definitely didn't know. Kenny was sitting in the passenger side of the unknown girl's car chatting her up. Craig already knew that Kenny was aiming to get laid at this party, he just didn't know if this girl was the lucky lady he chose for the night. Craig had his cheap headphones in his ears listening to whatever would drown out the stupid chit chat that Kenny was throwing at this girl. He was almost successful until he felt something that felt too much like a hand slap his arm.

"Hey, give me your lighter," demanded the girl sitting beside Craig. She so skillfully had a cigarette hanging out of her mouth with her hand still held out expecting Craig to comply.

"Fuck you. I don't have one," Craig barked and went to put his headphone back on. That is until the irritated, lovely lady grabbed his cord and yanked them completely off of him.

"You're a fucking liar and if you want to keep drowning out these two, you'll give me your lighter," mystery woman still was sporting the lovely scowl on her face. Craig glared at her as best as he could to scare her away, but she was clearly his equal in this match. He reluctantly handed over his cheap black BIC lighter to her. "Thanks Dick. It's Rose by the way."

"Didn't ask," Craig mumbled while taking his lighter back from Rose, along with his headphones. Just as he was about to put them back on his head he was assaulted with a cigarette. Well, assault may be carrying it too far but he did have a cigarette in his mouth when there definitely was not one there five seconds ago.

"You're welcome, Dick. So why are you going to said party when you obviously are a party on your own?" Rose was kind enough to blow smoke away from Craig's face. He lit up his own cigarette and choked down the taste of a different brand.

"I was dragged along."

"Nice. Just like me. Well, that and it's some rich kids booze. So I figured, why the fuck not?" Rose shrugged. Craig started to think he may have judged her a little too soon. This girl may not have been as bad as he suspected. At least her priorities lined up pretty closely to his own.

"Yeah. That's the only plus I can see," Craig flicked the ashes of his cigarette on the floor of still-unknown-girl's car. It wasn't his car. Why should he give a shit. Craig motioned to Kenny in front of him. "Or of course get laid, like he's aiming for."

"You mean you're not searching for some ass either?" Rose arched her perfectly tweezed eyebrow at Craig. She then used both hands to motion to her crotch. "If so, I don't mind helping you in your quest for the Holy Grail, good Dick."

Craig couldn't stop the smirk that formed on his lips. He could appreciate a woman that was very honest and didn't give a shit about the stereotypical and sexist things that were said about women that enjoyed sex. Beside him sat a person that was clearly cool enough to be in his book of, 'People Craig Tucker doesn't hate'. Congratulations human being #6.

"The offer is quite tempting good lady, but I'm not a fan of vagina," Craig held his hand up in sarcastic disgust. The car started to coast to a stop. Craig had mixed feelings about arriving to the party. Good: free booze that he could down and not worry about how much it cost. Bad: he has to deal with people and social life.

"Lame. Vagina is awesome, but so is cock. Suit yourself, Dick," Rose smirked before getting out of the car when her friend in the front seat put it in park. Craig followed her actions and tossed his cigarette in the snow. Kenny was already walking to the party with Rose's friend latched to his arm. So far, Kenny's night was looking to be a success. Craig had a feeling this night was going to drag on for him. He had already made up his mind that it would completely blow. The walk to the house already had determined this factor.

All the students, well he assumed were students since they mostly all looked to be about the same age as Craig, were dressed like they were in fact going to a party; girls were wearing clothing that they knew made them look incredible while guys wore clothes that made them look like they had some sort of fashion sense to grab potential person-to-bone's attention. Even Kenny was sporting one of his newer shirts for the event of possibly being laid in someone else's home. Then there was Craig. He tugged his chullo hat down a little further on his head when he noticed he wasn't sporting the classiest of clothing. He had woken up from sleeping, slapped his hat on and walked out with Kenny. Maybe sporting torn jeans and a poncho was good enough to be considered cool and hip. Then again, Craig couldn't give a shit about impressing anyone and didn't have any plans to get laid.

All of Craig's suspicions were confirmed when he stepped foot into the vibrating, smokey, crowded and overly loud music house. There were people dancing in the living room, as per usual to every party he was dragged to. There were people off in the kitchen where various assortments of booze seemed to be displayed. Then we have the random couples on the staircase and walking up said staircase for the act of random one night stands. Craig started his journey to the kitchen which was transformed to Booze Factory. A random hand passed him a bottle of beer and without hesitation, Craig took a swig. He leaned against the counter and started the game of people watching.

"Dick! Why are you drinking beer?", Rose's hip was suddenly touching his own. He glanced at her and raised an eyebrow that disappeared into his hat. He had a brief memory of when he sued Wendy for touching his hip in grade school. She snagged a bottle of vodka and was taking a few drinks while Craig just watched. "I know you like cock, but I didn't peg you for a piss drinker."

Craig started to choke on his beer.

"W-What? Beer doesn't taste like-" Craig paused after he finally was able to breath. He thought for a moment and set the beer down and then grabbed the bottle from his female companion, taking a gulp. His throat burned and his nipples got hard from the warmth. "I don't know what piss tastes like. Glad to know you do, Rose."

"Ah ha! You're not nearly as fucking dumb as you look. That's good to know." Rose smirked and took the bottle back. For the first time, Craig had a partner to people watch and drink with.

For a hour or so, Craig and Rose watched as people got shit faced beyond recognition, couples fight then of course make up and make out, people fight and argue. Craig would never admit that he was in fact having fun at a party. Not only that, but having fun with another human being. A female human being at that. Someone of the opposite gender he didn't really have contact with unless their last name was Tucker. Craig was thankful that Rose gave him the vodka instead of letting him drink the beer. He was feeling the warm effects of alcohol take over him and knew Rose knew as well every time he let out a drunk laugh at her cruelly ripping apart anyone that was making an ass of themselves. This was everyone at the party.

"So Dick, do you have a brother?" Rose finished off the last of the vodka before tossing the bottle to the side. Craig laughed as the bottle broke. This Rose girl was rising up the ranks of his 'People Craig Tucker doesn't hate'.

"No. I have a little sister. I swear, she's a devil," Craig chewed on some beef jerky that was sitting out. At least he briefly hoped it was beef jerky. It tasted like it. "Why? You want to fuck me, but since I love the cock, you have to find another means of fucking me, right?"

"Wow am I that invisible?" Rose rolled her eyes and shoved Craig. He stumbled and almost fell but regained his balance. "No Dickwad. I was just thinking that guy looked like your twin. You have a doppelganger."

"Doppelganger...?" Craig raised an eyebrow and looked to where Rose was staring. His heart stopped and he wanted to puke. "You've got to be fucking kidding."

There stood Stan fucking Marsh. This was the second time today that Craig had seen Stan and that was already two times too many seeing him. Not only this, but it was also the second time that he was told he looked- no, that Stan looked like Craig. Craig was older, there for Stan was looking like him. Craig was starting to think the universe was really wanting to ruin his life. Today was just too full of Stan Marsh references.

"Well, I mean he definitely knows how to dress," Rose motioned to Stan. "I mean, look at him. He's got nice jeans that make his ass look absolutely AMAZING. His shirt if plan enough that it doesn't scream 'douche bag' and he pairs it with a jacket that looks so graphic and hip. You on the other hand, have a chullo hat that looks like it is at least 5 years old, jeans that do nothing for your ass, and a poncho that... makes you look like a hipster. No wonder you're not upstairs getting laid. I bet your doppleganger does."

Craig stared at Rose after the play by play of Stan and his clothing.

"What the fuck was that about?" Craig furrowed his brows and subconsciously pulled his pants up.

"Oh right. I'm a fashion student. I notice how badly people dress. Oh ho, our mysterious challenger has you spotted!" Rose clapped her hands together and was looking way too pleased for herself. Craig looked back at Stan and sure enough, he was making his way to the kitchen.

"Hey Craig! I really didn't think I would see you here. Are you friend's with Jake?" Stan was sporting his trademark all American smile. Craig glared at Rose when she snorted.

"Craig? Oh, you know Dick here?" Rose motioned to Craig.

"Dick?" Stan looked confused for just a millisecond before smiling once more. "Yeah. He and I went to school together since like, kindergarten. Some how we now go to college together. My name is Stan Marsh."

Craig just watched Rose and Stan exchange information about themselves and information about Craig. Stan, who didn't really know him but grew up around him, and Rose who had just met him a few hours ago but was already on his 'People not to shit kick' list. What he couldn't understand is why he was still standing with them.

"Here, why don't you drink up with us," Rose shoved another bottle of booze in Stan's hand and smirked. "It looks like you two don't nearly get enough time together, seeing as how Craig is about to piss himself in excitement to hang out with you."

"Ha ha, we hardly ever hung out in school. I always knew Craig hated me and my friends. He hates everyone though." Stan looked at Craig and smiled at him. Craig looked at Rose and then back at Stan. The universe was definitely working against him and this Rose character was the ring leader of the ploy. Craig watched Stan take a long drink of the liquor that was shoved into his hands. Craig's eyes roamed down Stan's hand on the bottle to his lips, then his jaw and down his neck. A quick flash of his fantasy earlier slapped him in his brain. He shook his head grabbed some more jerky and shoved it in his mouth. Rose wasn't drunk enough to to not catch Craig's flush.

"Oh, I doubt he hates you. Maybe you two just need some alone chat time?" Rose chuckled and elbowed Craig rather hard in the ribs. "I'm just going to go chat up that blond over there, okay? Later Dick. I'll see you around school. Nice meeting you Stan. You boys have fun."

Craig glared after Rose while Stan waved to the woman that left them alone. Craig couldn't believe this. Why was the universe going this? Stan looked back at Craig and smiled once more. Craig couldn't help but think that if he smiled more, he would look like the guy he was staring at.

"Well... Do you want to go sit outside and drink or something?" Stan still had a grin on his face, but Craig could tell that he was struggling to not look too uncomfortable. "I mean, if you want to of course. Like I said, I have a really good feeling you hate me."

"Yeah, I pretty much do." Craig's expression didn't change. Stan's did though. His grin faltered and he glanced around laughing awkwardly. Craig looked around at the party around them and then back at a flustered Stan. His brain started to rally against him as well for the second time today as the image of Stan on his back just as flustered as he is now flew through his mind. Maybe he wouldn't mind having a heart to heart with Stan. "But it's not like I have anything better to do... Bring that bottle."

Craig started walking to the back door and a dumbstruck Stan followed.