Desperation
Chapter One: Emptiness
I never knew what to do when it came to love. I wanted it so bad. I have it now, but no one ever told you how bad it hurt. Whether the hurt was coming your way or you were hurting someone. We don't learn that at all. Not until we are faced with it, head on. When we are young we learn about princess' who are dependent on Prince Charming. There is not one story where love doesn't win. Where love and friendship, instead conquer all. I used to think that until now!
"Amara, I just can't do it!" I yelled at the strongest scout.
Something big was coming, we knew it. Something so big, it was possibly going to rip us all apart. the question that was asked, well more so told to me was from the scout of Uranus. It was time that as I, princess and leader of the scouts left the inner scouts and went with the outers for awhile. No Rini, Luna, scouts, or most importantly Darien. Whatever was coming our way needed to be dealt with by the outer scouts. You can ask me why, but I can tell you I honestly have no clue.
"Princess, We will do whatever it takes to keep everything at peace. But you need to come with us for your protection, period!" Amara whipped back around to where she was in my face.
I shook my head and turned away from her. "Amara, your one of my best friends. You came to me and claimed something was coming but you don't know what it is? How am I supposed to leave everyone without notice, especially Darien!" I cried.
Darien, was the most important thing to me. He was my family just as the inner scouts were. How was I supposed to leave them all alone, with no warning. I know as the Moon Princess I had to do whatever it took to keep peace. But something inside me hurt. Just knowing that I might have to leave them.
"Serenity please!" Michelle began to beg.
I turned immediantly around, "Stop calling me Princess and Serenity! I never asked to be your princess or the leader of the scouts! I never asked for any of this! Your asking me to leave them, helpless. Darien and Rini too! I can't. This is to much!" I was angry now.
I cursed my mother more than ever. I never wanted to be a princess and a warrior. I never wanted to have to leave those who I loved. I never wanted this pain. I just wanted to be a normal senior in high school. I wanted prom, and a life. But now I have everyone's lives to worry about now. I had to much responsibility. Maybe it would have been different if we were back in the Moon Kingdom time. But that is done and over with now.
"Serena, you have to. Deep down you know you have to do this. We leave tonight."
I turned to look at who's voice that was, only to meet the Scout of Time's eyes. At that moment I knew that if Trista said I had to do it, i had to. She had seen everything that will and has happened. She never did anything if it wasn't helpful of beneficial. I had to do this, despite the pain.
My eyes went down to the ground and I nodded. It was three against one, I couldn't say no. With that I turned on my heels and walked out of the apartment.
This was going to be hard. I wouldn't say anything to the scouts, but Darien. I would break it off with him. If something terrible were to happen to me then he wouldn't hurt that bad when he found out. I could just see his eyes now, the sadness, the hurt... Oh God! How could I do this? He was my Prince Endymion, my family, my protector, and my only love.
Tears began to fall from my eyes and the pain in my heart became unbearable. This was torture. I remember what it was like when he ended it with me awhile back over his dreams. I remember the pain of the breakup. The pain of not seeing him, and worse, when he had Andrews sister on his bike.
I had never hurt someone before. It was not something I did. I do everything I can to make people happy, to show that there are people who care. This was going against everything I stood for.
He saved me even before he knew we who I was. Even when he hated me, he loved me. He always listened when something was wrong. He was a shoulder to lean on and cry on. His eyes brought me reassurance. His lips told me he cared, and his body showed me how much he loved me.
He is my everything. I gave him everything of me. I showed him all my flaws. I showed him I trusted him and loved him no matter what. Now I was about to rip the carpet out from under him!
"Serena?"
Huh! I looked up to meet two concerned dark blue eyes. The I realized who it was. Shit! I quickly rubbed the tears from my eyes and stood up. I hadn't even noticed that I was sitting on a park bench or how long I had been sitting there or the fact it was raining.
"Serena?"
I shook my head, attempting to rid my head of my thoughts. I looked up at him and tried to place a smile on my face. He smiled and then frowned. Apparently he can see right through my smile. He reached for my hand and helped me up. He moved the umbrella so it was covering both of us.
"Bunny, are you okay?" He asked concerned.
I smiled at the nickname he had given me. But then shook my head. He placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled my wet form closer to him.
"Let's go back to my place and get you some dry, warm clothes." He smiled.
I wanted to scream no. I wanted to tell him I couldn't do that. To just let me go home, or sit here. But I nodded and walked to his apartment with him.
The silence between us wasn't helping the sharp knife in my heart. It just dug it in deeper and deeper.
Before I knew it we were at his apartment door and he was fishing for his key. Once he unlocked the door I walked in. Immediantly stripping the wet clothes from my body, I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. I went to the drawer that had some of my clothes. Thank God! There was underwear. I quickly put on a new set of underwear and a bra, then grabbed his sweatshirt of his bed and through it over my head. It smelled just like him.
"So are you going to tell me what in the hell you were doing out there?" I looked up at him, his eyes concerned.
My mouth was dry and It was like all the words were stuck in my throat. My eyes began to sting with unshed tears. I turned away from him. He could not see how much I was hurting.
Out of nowhere his arms wrapped around my waist and he snuggled his head into the crook of my neck. He placed a kiss on my check and then on my neck.
"Talk to me Bunny. Your killing me with your abrupt silence." I hated when he talked like that, all smart. But then again I loved it too.
"I can't." my voice cracked, that was enough for him to turn me around.
His face was tense as his eyes searched my face, looking for any clue it would give away. He focused on my red swollen eyes. "Sweetie, please!" he pleaded
His face was soft and concerned. It hurt to hear him beg for me to talk. But it just couldn't come out. It was stuck in my throat.
"Deep down you know you have to do this."
Trista's words hit me like a brick. I backed away from Darien. His eyes showed the confusion. He truly had no idea. I had to do this, as Princess of the Moon and Future Queen it had to be done.
"I can't do this with you anymore Darien." I kept my eyes on his, even though I was ready to run.
He cocked his head. This his face realized what I had just said.
"What?" He whispered.
I turned from him and grabbed a pair of shorts from my drawer. I sucked in a deep breath as I pulled them over my legs. Then I turned to face him.
"It's time we see other people. I can't do this with you anymore. I don't want to be a queen, I don't want a kingdom. I want a life! I want to go out and meet people Darien." I blurted out.
His face twisted into pain. He reached toward me and I placed my hand in front of him to stop him. I shook my head. I knew if he grabbed and pulled me into a hug, I would take everything back and stay with him.
I turned away from him and threw all my clothes into my bag. He didnt need this anymore. I wouldn't be coming here ever again. It was over, and my heart broke.
My eyes stayed on the floor as I turned around. Bad move. His arms grabbed me in a tight embrace. I tried to fight it at first but I dropped my bag and held him tight. His tears fell onto my neck and I realized even more that I couldn't do this.
"Please tell me what is going on! This isn't you Bunny. Did I do something wrong? Please tell me if I did, I can't loose you." He whispered.
I shook my head, "Darien, please just let me go." I whispered.
I wanted to just grab him and kiss him. I wanted to remove mine and his clothes. Take him to his bed and show him he is the only one for me. That he is my prince and that I would be forever his.
But that couldn't happen. He held me tighter and I cried I screamed into his chest. I balled my fists up and slammed them onto his shoulders. My knees buckled and he slowly helped me fall to the floor. I cried as if someone had died. Something did die, our relationship.
He combed his fingers through my wet hair and rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. But it didn't work. I sobbed into his chest. Continually asking "why?" He didn't understand what was going on, but he grabbed my face in his two hands and kissed me.
It was like nothing mattered anymore in the world. It was just him and I, together forever. I loved him more than anyone, but I couldn't let him know there was a chance of us.
"Bunny, please tell me what's going on. I can help you. If its me, tell me what I did. I need you Serena. Your my princess, your my life." He pleaded with me.
I stared into his midnight blue eyes, and then I did the unthinkable. I shook my head, put all my force behind me and pushed him away from me.
Then i was gone, never to return to those broken midnight eyes.
Last thing I heard was "Serenity..."
TBC Reviews please!