A/N: Well, here's a little X-Mas Snack for yaz. Yep. I'm watching the Postman on Sci-Fy and writin' this. So yep. Albus meddles, Sirius attacks, and Severus becomes thoroughly confused. Yeeeepp. R&R?

"Oh, no. Never. Not in my life time." Severus growled, backing away and scowling furiously. "No way."

Dumbledore frowned, crystal blue eyes twinkling. "Oh, Severus, my boy, learn to live a little." He said cheerfully, frown fading.

Severus' onyx eyes narrowed, sparking with anger. "No." He hissed.

"For once, I agree with him." Sirius snarled, hands coiling into fists. "No fuckin' way, Albus."

Severus directed his scowl at the dog Animagus. "Indeed." He ground out between gritted teeth, lips curling into a sneer.

"Shut up, Snivellus." Sirius spat, glaring right back, chocolate eyes alive and dark with fury. "Albus, there is no way in hell I'm kissing the greasy git."

"Now, now, Sirius. I'm afraid that you'll have to. You see, I've charmed the mistletoe to not let you out from under it until you kiss." The meddling old coot said, smiling in an almost maniac manner.

Severus and Sirius both immediately began to struggle against the magic, but to no avail. Turning and slamming his fist against the wall in frustration, Sirius snarled an obscenity. "Damn you, Albus!" Severus agreed.

"Please gentlemen. Control your language." Albus said softly, eyes nearly radiating his power to intervene with any situation. "So, the rules are simple. Kiss, and you are free. Or, you can stand here all night."

Sirius and Severus scowled at the headmaster. "And, for your convenience, I think I'll move you, and the mistletoe…" Albus began to twiddle his wand between his fingers. "…over to the library."

With a twirl of his wand, the mistletoe began glittering red and green, and it neatly floated over to the door of the library of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, where it fastened itself to the ceiling. The movement of the hideous little plant dragged the two dark-haired wizards after it, stumbling and cursing.

Dumbledore merely smiled, and said, "Have fun, boys. Let's hope you'll be able to get over your little feud." Then, he was gone in a happy, humming, red, purple and blue robed silhouette.

"Fucking sadistic bastard." Sirius snarled.

Severus nodded. "In fuckin' deed." He spat, crossing his arms across his chest and stalking further into the room.

Sirius, by the force of the magic, was dragged, shouting in anger, after the other man. The glowing mistletoe floated after them, gliding along the ceiling after them. Severus sat with huff, on the nearest available squishy armchair, scowling up at Sirius as the man stood in front of him.

"Fuck, Snape, you could have bloody told me you were moving." He spat, fury lacing the rich tones of his voice.

"Well, excuse me, Black, for walking when I please." Severus said sarcastically, snatching a book off the side table and cracking it open. "And you'd better sit down and shut up, because I'm not kissing you. Ever."

Sirius glared, and turned with a whirl of his jacket. "Fine with me." His voice lowered to an angry mutter. "Bastard." Then, he tried to stalk off.

The mistletoe lit up in angry red and green magic, then a strong yank of said magic dragged Sirius backwards, right into Severus' lap. They both yelped in surprise and disgust as Sirius collided with the Potions master.

Eyes wide, Sirius looked up into Severus' unfathomable obsidian orbs. "Erm…shit?" He tried hesitantly, cautiously trying to untangle himself from the other.

Severus sneered and shoved him hard, knocking him to the floor in an undignified heap. "Stupid, filthy mutt. Couldn't keep your paws off me, I see." He said, loathing dripping from his voice.

"Piss off, Snivellus." Sirius said, exhaustion lacing his voice. "Just leave me the hell alone, will you?"

"Fine. Gladly." He sighed and reopened the book, smoothing down the crinkled page edges.

As he began to read, Sirius tested the limits of the bond, the magic occasionally tugging on the Potions master. The first few times this happened, Severus glowered up at Sirius. This kept the other sated for awhile, but it wasn't long before the dog Animagus was up and testing the limits and boundaries again.

Finally, about an hour later, Sirius finally snapped. "God dammit! Snape, would you just fuckin' kiss me so we can get this over with already?" He roared, whirling and glaring full-force at Snape, chest heaving with the effort of not punching something.

"So eager, mutt. I wonder, how long have you wanted to ki-MMFF!" Sirius pounced on the other man, throwing the book to the floor and straddling his lap.

The Animagus roughly shoved his tongue into Severus' mouth, one hand cupping the back of Severus' neck, the other tangle in his raven hair. Severus let out a tiny mewl, squirming under the other as he thoroughly ravished his mouth.

Beard and mustache tickling and scratching Severus' pale, sensitive skin, Sirius pulled back a little, only to dip back in and run his tongue along Severus' lips. Severus moaned softly, hands coming up to loosely grip Sirius' shoulders.

Quickly becoming aroused, Sirius growled and ground himself against Severus, panting and pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the Potions master's clavicle. "Mmm…Sev…rus…" Sirius groaned, nuzzling closer.

Severus' head lolled back, eyes half-lidded as he stared at Sirius. "Black?" He finally panted.

"Yeah, Snape?" Sirius asked, shifting on Severus' lap and adjusting his legs so he could better align with Severus' bony hips.

"What was that?" He asked, velvet tone sultry, yet confused.

"A kiss." Sirius said simply. "And judging by that, I would guess you've not had one in a long time." Sirius said, gesturing at Severus' lap.

Snape's cheeks tinged red, and he glanced away. "Obviously." He muttered.

Sirius' right hand came up to gently caress Severus' cheek. "Well, then. Severus."

Severus looked up, onyx eyes wide with disbelief. "Yes, Sirius?" He breathed.

"Merry Christmas." Sirius whispered, leaning in to gently capture Severus' lips with his own.

The fading red and green light of the mistletoe bathed them in shadows as the plant disappeared. Moments later, the little plant reappeared on a certain old man's desk, whose eyes twinkling with silent laughter.