Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the legal property of the Disney Corporation, to whom I owe my inspiration and childhood.

Author's Note: Hades was always my favorite character. I can literally recite his lines from the movie. And I think he needs a girlfriend. So I decided to give him one. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Prophecy

"Excuse us, Your Deadliness…" Pain and Panic entered a large cavern in the Underworld.

"What? Can't you see I'm busy?" Hades attempted to fill one of three dog bowls for Cerberus. Once it was filled, one head would scarf down the food before the head it was meant for could get a nibble. The entire situation was exceedingly frustrating. Hades' blue flame hair was beginning to spark red.

"Uh the Fates wanna see you when you get a sec," Pain nervously told his master.

Hades erupted into bright red flame as he shrieked in annoyance. "What do they want? Ugh. Never mind. Why do I ask you? Where are they?"

The two minions turned themselves into slugs to prove their submission to the Lord of the Dead. They simply pointed their slimy bodies to the left. Hades swirled himself into dark gray smoke and disappeared.

He reappeared in his morose throne room to greet the Fates. He slicked back his fiery hair and stretched his shoulders before turning on his infamous charm. "Ladies! Long time, no see! What can I do for ya?"

One of the Fates (he was never sure which was which) smiled. "Ah Hades! We had some interesting news we thought you should know about."

Another Fate interjected, "Well she thought you should know. I said you had no right to our prophecies, but no, she had to come tell you."

"Well I'm delighted as always to see you. And I am honored by your concern for my welfare. I'm not as…popular…as I used to be, thanks to that Hercules kid. Oy what a disaster that was," Hades replied.

"We told you! We knew!" the third Fate added.

"Yes, I know you knew." Hades began to go from blue to orange.

"We know everything!" the first Fate said.

"Oh just tell him so we can leave!" the second Fate shouted, "Give me the eye!" She snatched the Fates' shared eye from her third sister. The eyeball began to glow brightly and the light spread over the entire room and the Fates began to speak eerily in unison.

The time has come once more

For you to hear of future lore

"Again with the rhymes?" Hades muttered.

A maiden queen must be found

For the realm 'neath the ground

And here she must stay and not forever leave

With Lord of the Dead, new powers they'll weave

But should you fail

And deny our tale

All power you will lose

Never again to ever use.

The eye dimmed and returned to the head of one of the Fates. They looked at Hades for a reaction to their prophecy. Well, the one with the eye looked and the other two simply faced him with empty eye sockets.

Hades stared at them for a moment before exploding in rage. "WHAT!" His limbs shot hellfire in every direction. After a moment he returned to blue, catching his breath. "So you're telling me…that I have to find a wife!"

"It's not our job to explain. You heard what we said. You deal with it," the Fate told him. With that, they swirled into the eye and blinked away, leaving Hades to his thoughts.

"So the Underworld needs a queen? Or I lose all my power? What power? I welcome souls to their death!" Hades mumbled to himself, pacing back and forth in the throne room. "Well at least I'm in charge of the souls. Ugh I hate this. What's so important about some girl?" he sighed. "Well I guess I gotta get one."

Hades sat down on his large throne and conjured himself an acid martini. He sipped it, deciding his next move.

"PAIN!" The fat pink demon ran into the throne room. "PANIC!" Pain's skinny green companion scuttled in after him.

"You called, Boss?" they asked, smiling, despite the fear of being barbequed.

"I'm goin' top-side, boys. Hold the fort till I get back." Hades finished his martini and disappeared in a puff of blue-gray smoke.

The minions looked at one another in confusion, shrugged, and returned to the River Styx.