A/N: Here's something new. My first love is Chuck fiction and I have no plans to abandon any of the stories I'm currently working on…and I few ideas that are bubbling under the surface. This is my second Castle fic, the first, Detective Lessons, I published under the name hewhosnbn.this story was just something that's been kicking around for a few weeks and I finally gave in, taking a little break from my other scribbles to give this a try. The future of this story isn't entirely dependant on reviews but they're always appreciated…good or bad. Hope to hear from your thoughts on this story. I'm not sure if this idea has been used already…of course I'd like to believe it's something new but if not, then I'll apologize to anyone who's done it before because I can't recall a story along these exact lines. Well, I've got Chuck stuff to work on and a new chapter for Detective Lessons so I'll wrap this ramble with the usual…thanks for the nudge, Jim. JT

Oh, before I go, I have to say I don't own Castle or any of the characters from the show, all mistakes are my own because I'm beta-free and I continue to do this for little to no money...ok, no money.

Castle - The Bucket List - Chapter 1

Rick Castle looked up from his laptop, having just put the finishing touches on a fifth Nikki Heat novel, still amazed that he'd managed to finish two stories in the three months since the last book had been released. Glancing at the Gumby & Pokey calendar that hung on the wall across from him, he smiled remembering the look on his daughters face when she'd given it to him last Christmas. It had been part of her dollar store stocking, an idea she had come up with and talked he and Martha into going along with.

Thinking about Alexis always lead him to think about Kate and, lately, that had lead to the better part of a bottle of scotch and a brutal headache the next morning. It had been six months since Kate had been shot at Roy's funeral and five months and twenty eight days since Kate had told him she needed some time. As the days had passed, he'd thrown himself into the investigation into her mother's killing as a way to avoid the hurt that Kate's continuing avoidance of him caused. After three months of working with Ryan and Esposito, he'd made some headway and he was sure that if the new Captain hadn't kicked him out of the precinct, he might have gotten figured out who was behind the whole thing.

He knew that he could've used his connection with the Mayor to wiggle back into the 12th but when he heard that Kate went back to work and still hadn't called, he decided that maybe it was time to move on. He'd thrown himself back into promoting his books, spending a month touring to promote the third Nikki Heat book and the upcoming movie, spending the days at book signings and doing interviews while spending the nights writing and, more often than not, drinking.

Two weeks into the tour, Paula had handed him a manuscript and asked for him to read it. When he'd balked at the request, she'd done something she rarely did, she said please. He'd been so shocked that he agreed to read it that night and promised to give her his opinion the next day. The title, The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Single Parent, had brought a smile to his face and while reading he'd found himself doing something he hadn't done in months, he laughed. Even the bitter sweet chapters about navigating a single parents dating and love life had managed to make him smile.

When he'd returned the manuscript the next day, Paula had refused to tell him anything about the author, saying only that she was a recent discovery and that Black Pawn was ready to offer the author a deal. He'd offered to provide a quote for the jacket and Paula had told him that she'd probably take him up on the offer before she'd said her goodbyes, promising to see him again before the end of the tour.

True to her word, Paula had re-appeared on the last day of the tour and he'd surprised her by handing her the outline and first six chapters for a fourth Nikki Heat novel. She'd been surprised and asked if he was going back to following the detective when he returned to New York. He'd offered a simple 'no' before walking away. Gina had also flown in for the final stop on the tour and she'd overheard the exchange, pulling her phone from her pocket and placing a call before walking over to talk with Castle's manager, deciding it was time to talk to Paula about her worries and concerns about her ex-husband. She'd been in regular contact with both Alexis and Martha who'd both expressed their thoughts about Castle's mental state and she hoped Paula might have some ideas about keeping him busy, thinking about anything but the muse that no longer seemed to want him in her life.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Rick was still staring at the calendar, silently wondering how someone could just ignore a friend for six months, when his daughter knocked at the open office door. She stood silently, staring at him while softly tapping a book against her thigh. He watched as she took in the empty bottles that threatened to overflow from the wastebasket next to his desk and then glance at the three half full bottles that were sitting on the top of his desk. He struggled to find an excuse he could offer when he saw the frown on her face. Before he could say a word, she'd crossed the room and snatched a bottle from the desk top.

"Really dad? Not even making the effort to hide the bottles anymore?"

"I've been busy writing. I've just finished another Nikki Heat book." he said, realizing as he said it, just how weak it sounded.

"That's just great dad. I bet if you keep it up, you can drink yourself to death by the time you finish the tenth or twelfth book. Then Grams and I can enjoy the royalties while we tell people how the great Richard Castle drank himself to death because he loved his muse more than he loved his family."

Slamming the bottle back down on the desk, she moved around to stand beside him. Reaching down, she pulled open the top left desk drawer and pulled out a small, leather bound book which she then dropped in his lap. Stepping back, she then dropped the book she'd been holding onto the desk.

"Well, since you've decided to give up, why don't you get started on your bucket list" she said, pointing towards the book in his lap. "I really wish I could go back and change the dedication in that book" she added, pointing towards the book she'd tossed onto the desk. "I'm going back to school. Good luck with whatever you decide to do" the red head said before turning and walking away, not bothering to look back as she left the room.

Too shocked to say a word, Rick Castle looked down at the small journal in his lap, surprised when he realized that his daughter had actually gone through his desk and looked into his journal. Looking up, he reached out and picked up the book his daughter had dropped on the desktop. He recognized the title right away, wondering how his daughter had gotten an advance copy of The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Single Parent. Just as he was about to put the book back down, he noticed the author's name…Alexis Rogers.

Rick Castle sat quietly, the book in his hands seeming to weigh a ton. The pride he felt at Alexis' accomplishment was warring with the worry he felt about whatever he'd done that had made her regret the dedication she'd made. Finally pushing past the worry, he opened the book and read the words his daughter was now regretting placing there…To the man who made me believe that anything was possible, as long as I didn't give up…my dad. And to the two women who helped me grow up…my grandmother and KB.

Rick gently closed the book in his hands and set it back on the desk. Wiping at his eye, he wondered why the small book in his lap suddenly looked so blurry. After wiping at his other eye, he picked up the journal and opened it, wondering how anyone could read his handwriting. Flipping through the pages, he finally found the list he'd started years ago. After reading the list twice, he pulled out a pen and began scratching of items that he had already accomplished or that he found to be downright idiotic. He'd not added anything to the list since he'd met Kate Beckett, almost forgetting it even existed until his daughter had reminded him. The very first item on his list, through all of it's incarnations, had been to travel across the United States…without any money.

"Well, that's as good a place to start as anywhere" he told himself, closing the journal and setting it on top of his daughter's book. Waking his laptop back up, he saved the fifth Nikki Heat book, added a dedication and e-mailed a copy to Gina with a short note that he planned to take a small break and that he'd be in touch. He also sent a similar note to Paula and then posted a simple 'Gone Fishing' note on his website before logging off and powering down his computer. Getting to his feet, he grabbed the three bottles from his desk and headed towards the kitchen, planning to pour the alcohol down the drain. He stopped himself when he reached the sink, imagining what his mother would say about him wasting perfectly good booze. With a smile, he told himself that she wasn't the one who'd been drinking too much lately and put the bottles into the liquor cabinet.

After looking at his watch, he realized that starting anything at this hour would be counter-productive so he instead took a long shower and then tucked himself into bed. Just as he was about to fall to sleep, his phone rang and he scrambled to answer it.

"Alexis, I love the book…yes, I'm very proud of you and I promise to get back to living up to the dedication…no, I'm not drunk…I'm in bed and I have some plans I need to talk with you about…well, 'gone fishing' is part of what I'm going to do…if you insist, I'll tell you. I'm going to start on the list…no, not because I've given up…or, actually, maybe I had but I've given up giving up? Know what I mean?…Well, I'll tell you all about it tomorrow morning before I leave…you heard me…do you remember the first thing on the list?…well, I'm going to do it…I'm not drunk!…listen, pumpkin, I know I need to get my life back together and I think this might be the best way for me to do that…and it'd make a great book…no, I'm not having delusions of being a modern Kerouac…please trust me, I really want to do this and if I can't, you can tell me 'I told you so' as often as you like…yeah, I'll tell you more when I see you tomorrow…no, I haven't told gran yet…you're right about that, it should be fun…listen, sweetheart, I'm actually tired…I'll see you tomorrow…just do me one favor, please, don't tell anyone…ok?…ok?…good, I'll talk to you tomorrow…goodnight" Rick finished the call and after hitting the disconnect, settled back into bed and was soon asleep.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

By mid-morning, Rick had already had a sit down with both Alexis and his mother. Somehow, he'd managed to convince them both that he hadn't gone cuckoo for coca-puffs and they'd both promised to not say anything to anyone unless there was some sort of emergency. He given them both the number for a simple burner phone he'd purchased that morning with the strict instructions that they keep it to themselves. He tried not to pout when they'd both teased him that he wouldn't be able to live without Angry Birds and all of his other apps, promising to prove them wrong.

By noon, he'd surprised himself by actually getting on the road, He'd dressed as casually as he could and packed a medium-sized backpack. Tucked into a side pocket were the old journal with the revised 'Bucket List' and a new journal that he hoped to fill…he just wasn't sure yet, with what.

Setting off at a leisurely pace, he headed north, intending to see if he had the stamina to reach the house in the Hamptons. He figured if he could actually make it that far without giving up and calling for a ride, then maybe, just maybe, he could keep going.

Thinking about it as he tried to settle into a rhythm, he realized that making his way to the Hamptons wouldn't be the toughest thing he'd do…hell, even making his way across the country wouldn't be the toughest thing he'd do. No, he knew the toughest thing he'd do would be to continue to resist the desire to dial a certain phone number, even though the person at the other end of the number had made it painfully obvious that she didn't want to hear his voice. Giving his head a sad shake, Rick Castle knew the toughest thing he'd have to do had already happened and maybe this trip would allow him to live with living without Kate Beckett.

A/N:2 Everyone always asks so I'm not trailblazing when I say that reviews will help me decide if I should continue this story. JT