Mentionings & Credits: this is a songfic for Michael Bublé's "Fever". Yes, I know Mr. Bublé just covered it, but his interpretation of the song is the one I prefer). Some elements of/hints for the lovely TV-show Pushing Daisies might occur. The Horitsuba Universe belongs to CLAMP; Flavia de Luce (though mentioned only once) is the main character of Alan Bradley's novels.

Please note that this story is not connected to any of my other Horitsuba-fics.

Warning: boyxboy couples, twin confusion, broken hearts and a dirty teacher with weird dreams.

Beta: KuRoHiTsUzEn

Pairings: Syao/Yuui, Syao/Saku/Syao?

Part II: The boy on the rooftop

Ev'rybody's got the fever
that is something you all know
Fever isn't such a new thing
Fever started long ago

There are two significant things that have to happen before two people can become a couple. The first step is to fall in love. This is easy and it comes naturally. The second step is to accept this love and confess, even if that means risking a broken heart.

In Japan, the best opportunity to make the second step was Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day it was tradition that the girls give some self-made chocolate to the boy they cared about. The tradition has changed slightly, however, so most kids made chocolate for all the people they cared about; friends and family members as well.

The thing is: boys are boys and therefore own a competitive nature. Syaoron Li spared a frown for those who were excited about Valentine's day because in his mind it was all about the question 'How much did you get?'. Since the amount of received chocolate equaled the amount of girls attracted to someone, boys could get a clear idea of their popularity. One may say that Syaoron was annoyed by this because he was envious – he had never been one of the popular kids at his old school – but the boy was convinced that if you truly love someone, one stupid day was not enough to show it.

Syaoron Li was 14 years, 11 months and 13 days old when he became suddenly very aware of his own popularity. He was standing at his locker with a group of boys (who were, oh what a surprise, busy comparing their trophies) and as he opened the metal door, a pile of sweets landed on his feet.

"What the... oh, shit." He blinked at the mass of chocolate (and the tiny love letters attached to it), came to the conclusion that this was too much effort to be a joke. He was... he was one of the popular kids. With a triumphant smile he started to collect every piece. Every piece of evidence that the time of hiding in the boy's room, the time of being spat at and being beaten and kicked was finally over.

"Wow, lucky you." Watanuki said. "I received only three."

"But that's good."

The blue eyed teen gritted his teeth, "One is from my mom."

"Oh."

"Well, and I got one from Sakura, because she's giving chocolate to every one of her friends. The only one who received an extra large piece was your brother."

"I know." Syaoron chuckled, "I've witnessed it. Made me wonder if that blush is tattooed into his skin. And the last one?"

"From the wonderful, kind and sweet Himawari-chan. And she was very happy to receive chocolate from me." Watanuki flailed with happiness.

"And where is my chocolate?" Doumeki asked, stepping up to the boys and tugging at the blue eyed teen's sleeve.

"YOU! As if you need some extra chocolate, you greedy oaf. You probably received something sweet from every girl of the school."

"Yup."

"You don't even have the decency to deny it!"

"But I want yours." Doumeki insisted, crossing his arms before his chest. It took a few seconds until the bespectacled teen got the message. His face turned brighter than the lights on a Christmas tree.

"S-so you're saying – hey, wait, I'M NOT A GIRL!"

Syaoron laughed, and then looked at his own chocolate. Though it was true that they marked the end of an era, he didn't want any of this stuff... and that made him even more proud. He would never be happy with being ordinary, but he was very content with not being popular. So he handed his pile to Watanuki. "Here. Do what you want with it, show off a little, eat it or melt it to bake a giant chocolate cake for Doumeki-kun."

"But Syaoron-kun..."

"No, it's fine. I received all the chocolate I wanted this morning, from two people I care about. I have no use for this."

"Oh... okay." Watanuki hesitantly took it but it was easy to see that he was flattered and impressed. Doumeki on the other hand seemed unsure if Syaoron was trying to flirt.

"From whom did you get it?", the tallest of the group asked suspiciously and laid a hand on Watanuki's shoulder to claim his property – Watanuki didn't seem to notice. "One was from Sakura, I bet but the other..."

Syaoron smiled wickedly. "This is absolutely none of your business."

"Somebody we know?" Watanuki's inquiry made it obvious that he wasn't the person in question, so Doumeki became more relaxed.

"Maybe." Syaoron smiled and focused his attention on the contents of his locker, checking every single precious book for chocolate stains. When he found none, the brunet hummed and started rummaging in his bag pack for the two gifts he had mentioned. He placed them lovingly on top of the book stack and closed his locker – not without putting some sticky tape across the mail slot to prevent further unwanted 'mail'.

"FAI D. FLUORITE!"

All students flinched as they heard the yelling of a familiar person.

"Man, I didn't know Yuui-sensei could be so loud", Watanuki commented.

"Or so angry." Doumeki added. "I wonder what Fai-sensei did to piss him off."

They should find out as both teachers were running in the hallway and a few seconds before Fai-sensei passed by the boys, Yuui-sensei caught up with his brother and brought him down. Fai wiggled until he lay on his back, but there was no use running away – Yuui was sitting on his stomach and his arms pinned Fai's shoulders to the ground.

Dirty-minded schoolgirls blushed.

"Okay Fai, let's try that again: where. Did. You. Put. It?"

"Ahaha, that's a very good question, but if my dear baby brother knew, he would get worried and we don't want you to get wrinkles. Do we, Yuui?"

With the voice of a man who had watched too many crime shows on TV, Yuui hissed: "If you don't talk, I will walk into your room, take your video tapes and delete all the 'America's Next Top Model' seasons."

"You wouldn't dare!" Fai inhaled, shocked.

"Or maybe I'll start with 'The Big Bang Theory'..."

"Okay, okay!" The older Flourite twin raised his hands (as far a he could in that position) and surrendered: "I gave the chocolate to the person it was meant for."

Silence spread in the hallways. Students held their breath, smelling gossip in the air. Does that mean Yuui-sensei has a secret affection? Is it someone from the school, another teacher, a student, the nurse? Is it a boy, is it a girl? Someone cute or sexy?

"You... you gave it to..."

People with ESP could hear the thoughts chant in unison. A name, say the name, we want a name.

Fai-sensei's attention drifted from his sibling to the crowd as if he just became aware that they had audience. As he spotted the boys at the locker, he flashed a grin. "Oh, hello, Doumeki-kun, Watanuki-kun. Shouldn't you get going? Chemistry will start in five minutes. Unless your teacher is late, that is."

That was the signal for every student to move before Fai's attention would focus on them and god knew, only half of them have made their chemistry homework and some still owed their fair haired teacher an essay on the Haber process. As they fled, they didn't notice how pale Yuui-sensei became as he spotted the greeted couple and the boy next to them.

He stood up, even offered his older but completely insane brother a hand. And signalized with a glare that Fai's action would have consequences. The chemistry teacher attempted not to notice it and went away, whistling a happy tune.

The only student that had stayed where he was (because he didn't have class the next hour, Mrs. Mizuki was sick) cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Yuui-sensei. But do you have a minute? I need to talk to you because of that recipe."

"A recipe? Syaoron-kun, I don't think I understand." In fact, Yuui-sensei looked like he didn't understand the world anymore.

"The cupcake recipe."

The penny dropped.

Yuui led Syaoron into an empty class room, closed the door behind them carefully and pressed his back against the wood. "Okay", he said, and added after a while: "okay". As if he tried to convince himself. "I have to apologize. My brother put you in a terrible position, I know and I will hardly make it better, but I have to tell you that my brother made a mistake when he gave you the cupcake this morning. It wasn't meant for you, you know..."

"I thought so", Syaoron said, a cheerful mask on his face. Yuui shuddered. It was the same fake smile Fai wore when he was angry. But Syaoron wasn't Fai, so who knew what the kid was hiding underneath... the question was, did he want to know?

"Though Fai-sensei's mistake was quite understandable. After all, the little chocolate plate on top had my name on it."

"Oh." Yuui said. One of the Ohsthat actually meant shit. "Yeah, that's because the boy – man, I mean – who was to receive it has the same name like you do. Quite a coincidence, huh?"

Syaoron knew that Yuui was a bad liar but that was by far the worst lie he had ever came up with. Nevertheless, the student decided to tease a little further. He wanted to see how far this charade would go. "And he likes books as well, I assume? Because there was a tiny marzipan book on the icing."

"Absolutely."

…

The boy didn't say anything. The teacher didn't say anything. While one was addicted to crime shows, the other loved reading John Grisham and Kathy Reichs so both knew that silence increased pressure and was a well-known interrogation-technique to make the suspect talk. The only question was... who would give in first?

After 17 seconds that felt like 17 minutes, Yuui walked away from the door and sat down on a table. Syaoron took a chair and sat down on the opposite side, so that they could face each other.

"You wouldn't believe this, even if you had not witnessed the scene a few minutes ago, right?", the blonde asked and Syaoron could tell by the way he fidgeted with his fingers, that the HE teacher would start chewing on his nails in a few minutes. 'Nail', the boy corrected himself and with a surprising amount of endearment, 'he just chews on his right pinkie.' While the habit was disgusting for people who had never suffered from it, Syaoron found it a very useful indicator for Yuui's stress level. His look softened. The brunet could understand Yuui's hesitation. This was not just about losing his job due to sexual harassment, the man risked going into jail, which was not a good place for someone so pretty.

Still, Syaoron was disappointed. He had always believed that there was a steel core hidden behind all that sweetness and kindness, a solid spine when it came to vouching for the ones he cared about.

He sighed. As a firm believer that everyone should have the right to decide if feelings should be hidden or worn like a T-shirt for the whole world to see, he had no choice: he had to create a back door.

"I can see that you got confused, Yuui-sensei. I could go to my locker now and give the cake back to you, but it seems to me that you need some time to get your thoughts in order. So, I recommend that we meet later today. What about 4 pm? There is a terrace in the East Wing of the building; it's the roof of the blue annex, where the janitor's office is located. We should be undisturbed there. If you want, I can give you back the cake and we will never speak of this again. But if you come to the conclusion – regardless how silly that might sound – that the cake is indeed in the hands of the right person, I wouldn't think less of you. Meanwhile I can only give you this in exchange."

From the depths of his bag-pack, wrapped in ten layers of paper and stored in a separate plastic box, so it wouldn't break, the boy retrieved a large chocolate plate, made from white chocolate but decorated with Nestlé Mini Smarties and almonds. It had the shape of a Swan and on the bird's belly, the words 'For Yuui-sensei' had been carved.

"Syaoron-kun…"

"It's okay. Just don't keep me waiting for too long."

When Yuui arrived at the roof, ten minutes too late, he found several huge bee hives and a boy with stiff fingers because, unimpressed by the cold air, Syaoron was reading a book. And it would have been so much more romantic if said book was by Jane Austen or the Brontё's, a beautiful classic that matched Valentine's day and caused your friends to aw when you told them the story of how you got together.

It was George Orwell's '1984'.

Yuui ripped it out of his student's hands before the kid had a chance to mark the page and the words poured out of his mouth because he couldn't stop them, continuing the conversation as if they had never been apart.

"There's no one else, Syaoron-kun, it was meant for you, it was always meant for you. I'm a fool, I know, and your teacher and this is inappropriate in so many different ways but I'm crazy for you, and... and..."

And the boy smiled so brightly, that his face started to hurt.

So the book didn't become their book, but the roof became their place. A sanctuary where they could safely meet and where the couple experienced many of their first times: the first holding hands, the first kiss, the first argument. Picking our song and our favourite quote. Syaoron recalled all these moments on a beautiful winter's day, when he needed to make an important decision.

5 Days, 2 hours and 25 minutes had passed since the Chinese boy had witnessed his first and only childhood love, the man he called Yuui, betray him in a way hadn't thought possible. He understood that he was the one who was supposed to be kissed, but wasn't kissed; still Syaoron was glad that he hadn't seen Yuui since then. Nor had he seen Syaoran, the boy who had been kissed, but wasn't supposed to be kissed. Avoiding Syaoran had required some skills, for the boys were twins and lived in the same house, but Syaoron knew that the trick of running away from home was to return home every now and then to soothe the parental paranoia.

When the brunet wasn't home or in class or in the library or at a friend's place, he was on the roof, to think. The place seemed to be made for thinking, because it was so quiet and peaceful. Almost no students passed by the blue annex and the bees slept silently, dreaming of flowers, honeycombs and pollen, or whatever bees dreamt of. Snow was falling on the hat of the boy and the hats that protected the hives from the cold... (Who had knitted them? Chuck, the janitor?).

Truth be told, Syaoron was freezing, but he was freezing for a reason, hoping the weather could also cool down the fighting emotions inside his chest. The jealousy, the doubt, and the envy.

The longing, as well.

In the pocket of his coat, his cellphone rang. For the seventh time of the day. And though he was not one of those who needed an individual ringtone for every caller ID (everyone was blessed with the Stargate Theme because Syaoron was and still is, a geek, in his tiny bruised heart), he knew very well, who tried to reach him.

But the boy still looked on his display. Even if he couldn't stand being around his boyfriend, he needed to see his name.

Yuui.

Would the blond be sad if he rejected the call? Syaoron put the device back in his pocket and let it ring, curious when Yuui would get bored. About thirty seconds, an interval which was long enough to give the recipient the opportunity to answer but not too long to seem importunate.

Oh, but the teacher was desperate. Syaoron could tell by the text messages that followed every missed call. When lined up in a row, they were a plead.

I'm sorry.

We need to talk.

Please.

I miss you.

I'm an idiot.

Call back.

Five minutes passed. Seven. Ten. 'What the heck is taking him so long?', the boy thought. He wanted, no, he needed this message. He felt like he deserved it. Just because he didn't talk to Yuui didn't mean the blond was allowed to stop trying.

When the familiar chime could be heard ('Thirteen minutes, why did it take him thirteen minutes to type four or three words?'), Syaoran almost dropped the cell phone while he tried to get it into his hand. His fingers were shaking, due to the cold and his anxiety. What he got was not what he had expected.

I wanted to pull the thread, unravel the scarf of my silence and start again from the beginning… [1]

"Aw, don't do that to me", the boy whispered (now hopping up and down to dispel the cold of his feet). "Don't be so cute, how can I stay angry if you're that cute?"

To make sure that Syaoron would understand, Yuui had tried another language. It was still English; lacking a phone with characters, Yuui always sent text messages in English, but he wasn't using his own words. He used the language of books because he knew how comfortable Syaoron was with that. The younger recalled the hour they had spent sharing their favorite book quotes. He couldn't ignore the gesture. He just couldn't.

He typed a quick reply, but was startled as a noise, well-known but odd for this environment, could be heard from the door. A knock.

Syaoron's heart beat quickened, as he turned around and half-expected to see Yuui approaching. The door opened, revealing a mop of ginger hair under a pink, cat-eared hat. "Syaoron-kun? Are you here?"

And his heart sank. "Sakura-chan. Hi. What brings you here?"

"Oh, I visited some sick people today, to help them keep up with the school homework." She explained, face bright with enthusiasm. Syaoron didn't have to guess who she visited first. This was about Syaoran. 'It's always about Syaoran.' He thought grimly.

"… and Syaoran was worried, because he feels like you're behaving oddly. He would ask, but he can't leave bed and… is it true that you haven't been home lately?"

For a moment he considered lying about his motives, about anything, because he was sick of being the troublesome child… but Sakura would notice and a see-through lie equaled an insult.

"I didn't want to see him. I told my Dad I would stay at a friend's place. He must have told you."

Sakura nodded. "He has, but when I phoned all our friends, no one knew where you could be found. So I visited Fai-sensei, hoping he had a clue, he's our form teacher after all, but he had no idea. It was Yuui-sensei, who told me about this place."

The teen bit his lip. He felt the tiny sting of guilt for the trouble he had caused her. And the fact that Yuui had told her about their secret little place meant that the blond was worried now, too. Absolutely unnecessary. Sighing, he waved her closer.

"Do you want to sit? There should be benches, somewhere under these piles of snow. Just- just make sure you don't whack the hives, okay?"

So they shoved snow with their hand until their gloves were wet with melted snow and the cold wind was biting their fingers, but neither of the kids seemed to mind. Sakura's enthusiasm, even for a simple task like this, was amazing and while she was focused on the white mass, Syaoron felt safe enough to ask: "So, how's Yuui-sensei?"

"Still very weak and… well, Fai-sensei said he got rid of the fever, and that despite all that coughing and sneezing, he should be fine. But Yuui-sensei looked like he'd been crying. I don't know why, if it's because they had to cancel their birthday party or because Fai-sensei is moving-"

"He's what?"

"Haven't you heard the news? Fai-sensei and Kurogane-sensei are moving in together. Yuuko-sensei is providing them a bigger apartment."

"Oh."

The ginger haired girl nodded and sat down. "Yes, and when I visited them, Fai-sensei was busy packing his stuff into cardboard boxes; so I assume they want to be done with it before New Year's Eve. I'm happy for Fai-sensei and Kurogane-sensei. I am. But if it makes Yuui-sensei sad..."

"One can't make everyone happy." Syaoron added as he joined her on the bench and buried his wet gloves in the pockets of his coat. "There's always at least one person that is left behind or that gets hurt." Poking with the tip of his shoe the carpet of compacted snow, he wondered why Yuui had to be this person and if he – Syaoron – was responsible for the situation, too. The gap between them, born from the incident five days ago surely wasn't helping the man to let go of another person in his life. After all, it was not like Fai-sensei would move to another town, there was no reason to cry a river over that.

"Um, Syaoron-kun?"

"Yes, Sakura-chan?"

"Did something happen between you and Syaoran-kun? Something that made you angry at him?"

He quirked up an eyebrow.

"I- I don't want to be nosy!", Sakura added hastily. After all, these were very private things she inquired and just because she and Syaoran were more or less together (and the thought of this one word caused her cheeks to heat up) didn't mean she had the right to know... "And you don't have to answer. I just wanted to say... it would be lovely, if you and Syaoran-kun could overcome this obstacle."

For once, the Chinese boy didn't care about being mature; he crossed his arms and sulked like a kid that refused to apologize. "I just can't stand to see his face right now."

Sakura didn't point out the obvious, that they had the same face, and Syaoron could have kissed her for that. An innocent, platonic kiss, of course. She was Syaoran's and therefore, he would never touch her.

"So, what did he do to make you angry?"

Syaoron swallowed the hard lump in his throat and tried to avoid looking into her big, surprised and somehow trusting eyes. She would never assume, that his little brother would do something mean; she regarded him as a saint... which was even more frustrating because it was true.

"He looks like me. I know that's silly and it's not like he can be blamed for it, but still... something happened. Something that would never have happened, if we weren't identical. Now I'm angry at him and I'm angry at another person although it's no one's fault. Knowing doesn't change the way I feel... do you understand?"

The skin between Sakura's eyebrows wrinkled as she tried to get some sense into his words. "Not really. I'm sorry. This sounds like a very special problem. One, that only a twin would understand... have you tried to talk to Fai-sensei or Yuui-sensei?"

He made a noise of amusement that did not match the bitter look on his face. That was just out of the question. Yuui was the core of his problem. Syaoron wanted to talk to him, he wanted to make up... but what if he was fighting in a war he'd already lost? What if he put too much energy in a relationship that was about to fail because the blond didn't care about him as much as he expected? And he couldn't talk to Fai-sensei, because he was Yuui's brother and therefore had to be on Yuui's side.

"Can I ask you a question, Sakura-chan? If I had been the one who came to this school first... If we had met before you knew Syaoran... do you think we would have... hooked up?"

The brunet scanned her face carefully, how her warm smile faded and her lips parted to a tiny 'o' which made them look like a little pink rose bud. Watched how pity and guilt replaced her friendliness. Sakura didn't blush. That alone was answer enough. He was sorry that he made her feel uncomfortable but he had to know, had to understand...

"Oh. Oh. I didn't know... Syaoron-kun, I don't think... No. No, I'm really sorry, but you're not-"

"It's okay." He tried to assure her. He reached his hands out, for her to take them. "I'm not him, I know. I just want to know, how you knew that it was him. That's an impossible question, but why did you fall in love with him, and not with me?"

"I don't know, I just never felt this way for you." She cried out in confusion and desperation. "You're both nice, but Syaoran-kun... there's something in the way he smiles and talks and how he treats other people... I can look at him and I know what he's thinking or if there's something worrying, while you... I never know what you're up to. That's irritating."

Syaoron shrugged, facing what he had always assumed. So, hearing it from Sakura's lips hurt less than expected, she was just confirming what he already knew. "So, it's because he's the better man. That's it." It was the old theme about the good twin and the evil twin and Syaoron had accepted to play the evil part. He hadn't cared... until Yuui came along. There was no reason anyone would choose him over Syaoran, but Yuui had made that choice. 'I should have known that was too good to be true.'

The teen was ripped out of his depressive thoughts as Sakura took his hands into hers. There was nothing romantic about this gesture (and if anyone doubted that, he just had to look at the determined look on her face). She looked hurt, mirroring the emotions he hid so carefully under a mask of indifference. "Don't say that. You're not worse than Syaoran-kun; there is no better or worse, because you're a different person. You're not the one for me, Syaoron-kun, but please don't take me for a standard. I'm sure you will find someone, who likes you just the way you are."

"You do realize that this sounds like something from a movie?", he said. Actually, it sounded like a movie he knew very well, but for his pride and his image he could not come out as a fan. "Life is not a romantic movie, there's no happy ever after, there's no Mr. Darcy waiting for every one of us, who will look at us like..."

The voice of the boy trailed off, as he remembered.

'Someone, who will look at me like I'm all he ever wanted.'

How could he be so blind? Sakura may not remember why she fell in love with Syaoran, but Syaoron, the boy whose attitude towards love balanced between cynical and realistic, knew exactly why he fell in love with his teacher.

Oh, weren't they cute?

An impish grin appeared on Syaoron's face as he was the witness of a small wonder. His Lil' bro was actually the center of a girl's attention, despite his way-too-innocent demeanor. It seemed like Sakura belonged to the kind of female beings that were still able to appreciate a gentleman (or in Syaoran's case, a gentleman-in-training) and as she offered her Christmas cake to the boy, it was hard to tell which face was the darker shade of red.

He wanted to vomit.

It wasn't the sappiness of the moment that caused Syaoron's nausea, nor did he mind romance in general. He just felt a stab every time they had one of their private moments, they were both so naïve and perfect with their sugar topped crush on each other... it felt almost like someone else had designed this love because it was too perfect to be true, right?

Moments like this made him want to poke and tease his younger twin for being so freakin' faultless, nice and obedient. Like a damn puppy. Syaoron folded his hands behind his back as he strolled to his brother who stared at the cake with sparkling eyes, blind to the world and deaf to Watanuki's yelling (complaining once again that Doumeki had eaten the stuff that the bespectacled teen just made).

Syaoron leaned to his brother, eyebrow cocked and asked: "Cute cake isn't it?"

"Yeah..." Syaoran replied.

"So is the one who made it." the older twin added, before turning away and leaving it up to the other boy to get the meaning behind this words. A good brother would never mess with his sibling's relationship... but sometimes a quick reminder that there might be others willing to kiss that girl and that he shouldn't take her too much for granted, was the right thing to do. It was just for Syaoran's sake if he kept an eye open for potential rivals.

"You really mean that? Syaoron-kun."

Great, Yuui-sensei had noticed. And so the brunet told the new teacher that they were both cute (which was true) to distract from the fact that, hell yeah, Sakura was cute. So cute, in fact, that even Syaoron, who liked to pretend that he was tough and didn't give a damn about anyone, wasn't safe from her charm. Which was even more irritating, since the teen had been quite sure that he was into boys exclusively.

However, the little act was futile. Yuui-sensei perceived what was going on – save from the gay part – and added: "Being twins is a complex thing, isn't it?"

"You could say the same." Syaoron retorted with his poker face smile and then peeked back to the lovebirds. He had no desire to talk about his little jealousy problem, not if he wasn't sure how or what he was jealous of. Maybe he was really feeling something for Sakura. Maybe he was just craving for someone who could be what this girl was for his brother. Maybe he was pissed that Syaoran got all the good stuff in life. Whatever it was, the last person he wanted to tell about it was anyone from the school staff.

"Well, they're not the only cute thing, that's for sure." The blond whispered affectionately. And as Syaoron whipped his head back to see what the new teacher was talking about, he was hit by a force so strong that it was impossible to stand.

The jig was up the moment their eyes met and Syaoron noticed for the first time.

Yuui's eyes spoke of care, hope and motherly affection. They spoke of wishes and need; of adoration and underlying passion. This moment, Yuui was not a man of flesh and blood, he was an angel and the divine nature of his smile made his face light up brighter than any halo.

Syaoron was loved.

It was a revelation that could not be – why him? The teen was speechless and flattered at first, but also uncomfortable because he knew himself very well. All the little twists of his mind, knew how mean and rude he could be. He was the last person to ever deserve that look. "Sensei..." He whispered. Cleared his throat. And his heart felt lighter with every second. The brunet caught himself wondering what he could do to deserve that. Was it weird that he wanted to return that feeling? But how could he... they had met only few weeks ago.

"Sensei", he said again and was overwhelmed by the crazy idea of kissing that man right here and now as if finding out whether he could love Yuui was the most important thing.

But Syaoron was safe from making that decision for the time being.

With a loud bang, the door of the home economics room flew open and the chairman (dressed as Mrs. Sexy Santa), the chemistry teacher (with reindeer antlers), and the gym teacher entered. Well, to tell the truth, it was Yuuko-sensei and Fai-sensei who rushed in, cheering and throwing confetti for no obvious reason while poor Kurogane-sensei was dragged along.

Syaoron and Yuui broke eye contact but the magic of this moment still worked within the boy.

"Um, Syaoron-kun..."

"I'm fine" he reassured, knowing how he must look, completely lost in his thoughts and memories. Plus, his fellow students became nervous when he fell silent because they never knew what he would come up with. Unlike his twin, Syaoron was unpredictable and the teen was actually very proud of it. There was no reason to be so secretive, not in this school, with its 'zero tolerance towards bullying' policy, but old habits were like pest plants: impossible to kill when the soil was already nerved with roots. "Say, Sakura-chan, are you be able to tell me and Syaoran apart? I mean, assuming we would wear the same clothes, the same look on our faces and wouldn't say one word. Would you be able to tell which one's which just from our physique?"

Sakura, blinked, baffled, and he could see her left eyebrow rise to form a silent question. Her hesitation no doubt a sign that she assumed the brunet had second thoughts.

"Come on, I'm not trying to fool you. I would be a lousy prank master if I tell my victim about the nature of my prank, besides, when have I ever tricked you?"

The girl still considered and Syaoron felt the familiar sting that Sakura's suspicion caused. She liked him, blessed with a heart the size of Australia she liked everyone, but he wanted her to trust him. For one simple reason: he loved her. Not like he loved Yuui (so far Syaoron had found nothing that was comparable with what he felt for his teacher), but equally strong. He wished to protect her and to crush everyone that caused her problems... which was exactly the way he felt about his mother. Strange, but true. And as his mother's son, and sooner or later Sakura's brother-in-law he wanted to be loved back. Without trust, there could be no love.

She stared at her hands, which were still held by his hands and withdrew them, blushing. What was she thinking that she suddenly found the contact inappropriate? "Well, for one, Syaoran-kun is taller...", she started, picking up the original question.

"Currently", Syaoron added gingerly.

"Okay, okay, he's currently taller. And there's a little scar on his right index finger, and his tan is a bit darker than yours and he always has bruises on his knees and his arms from the soccer and the kendo training and... and..." Sakura lowered her head but even behind the curtain of ginger strands, the boy could see her cheeks turn flaming red and her lips widen to a dreamy smile.

"Go ahead. I won't laugh, I promise."

"He often smells like freshly mown lawn."

It was hard not to laugh, though. "The way you talk about him, I wonder if you see me at all..." he said with an affectionate smile. Then Syaoron froze. "You don't see me..." he repeated thoughtful. And jumped to his feet.

"Of course!" He grabbed her shoulders with a triumphant look in his eyes, like he just heard the best news of his entire life. "You look at me but all you see is Syaoran, which is fine, because you love him. You love him."

He shouted. With glee. For Sakura, who had no idea what was going on, it seemed rather intimidating. "Syaoron-kun, are you sure you're fine? You look a bit..."

'Mad', she thought and swallowed as those amber eyes (Syaoran's eyes, but their expression so different), lightened up, with a strange spark.

"I've never felt better! I get it now. It wasn't Syaoran he saw, god, he couldn't even remember Syaoran, but he remembered me. Even in delirium, even close to enzyme cooking temperature, he recognized me. You have no idea how much you helped me."

"You're welcome... I guess."

"And if you excuse me, I have to tell my boyfriend that he's a fool."

Sakura watched Syaoron-kun run away, faster than the wind and hysterically laughing and waved, smiling. She was glad that she could help him with his problem, even if she still didn't understand how. Or what his problem had been. Then, she noticed something.

"... b-boyfriend?"

You sleep, once again. Within the last days, this is the state that you became very familiar with, there is no end to it, you sleep and sleep and sleep until you lose track of time, until you get even more tired, vicious, it's a vicious circle, you can't escape, all alone in your prison, your mind, your sheets, huddled in blankets like you're

(Absolem)

a blue caterpillar in a cocoon, transforming to become a butterfly.

The heat of your body, your bed, your room does something to your mind and so, your dreams are weird pictures, disturbing the pleasant blankness of dreamless slumber. Only this time, you're lucky. This time, it's not a weird enterprise through wonderland, it's a clear situation, one you're not used to but one you want to experience, no matter how much you try to deny it.

You can't fool your subconscious.

In your dreams, there is no room for denial, control or false prudery; no regret, no borders, no clothes. It's just you and he, together, because that's all that really matters; you and he, like you are the same person.

You hold him, you have him, you move and he's moving with you because you're one. You moan his name.

And then something goes terribly wrong.

He struggles. Starts to scream, to yell at you, that you're a monster, a pervert and how could you - that terror in your eyes, in his words, when you realize you made the same mistake again, it's not him, it's – oh, but it's thousand times worse this time, he will never forgive you, you will never forgive yourself -

Yuui woke up with a scream and sat upright in his bed. New sweat mixed with old to give his skin an unpleasant sticky feeling. His cheeks were burning because he felt overheated. Not from the fever; Fai had cured that within three days, but the fever had been accompanied by a sore throat and coughing, god, so much mucus in his lungs that he thought he would drown... Cold to the fight the fever, warmth to cure his lungs. That was also the reason why Yuui slept with a pullover and a scarf around his neck.

The heat of the sheets in which he rested for far too long and the contents of his dreams had had an unpleasant side effect, as Yuui noticed. There was no need to raise his blanket and take a look at his pyjama pants to confirm, but he did it nevertheless. Oh, yes. He had an erection.

"Shit!" Yuui cursed and let his torso drop back on his pillow. A palm pressed to his forehead, he was torn between dying from shame and pondering how to get rid of his problem. Well, there was an easy solution, he was a man after all, so he would be lying if he said he had never touched himself... but the blond considered solo sex as humiliating because it proved even more how alone he was. Besides, after five days without the possibility to wash or shower, he felt dirty enough, it was unnecessary to stain himself even more. So, he kicked his blankets away, stood up and opened the curtains... outside it was already dark or still dark, depending on whether it was early morning or late afternoon. The teacher opened his bedroom window, and sighed when his face was hit by a stream of cold, fresh air. That done, he crept back to his bed to lie on his back, waiting for the blood to circulate in different areas of his body (and, thanks to the cool air, he didn't have to wait too long).

Meanwhile, Yuui pitied himself. For things he could remember – but what he remembered didn't quite match what had really happened according to Fai – and things he couldn't remember doing. His pale fingers touched the bump on his forehead and his eyes watered. The physical pain was faint, not enough to justify his tears, but thinking of the person that had caused this bump nearly broke his heart.

Yuui reached for his phone. He had placed it on the book on his nightstand, because when he hadn't been busy sleeping or eating, he had read (a book he had borrowed from Syaoron a week ago, yes, he was such a masochist) or tried to reach his student with the telephone.

It was late afternoon, said the phone, about an hour after he had sent his last message to Syaoron. No new messages. So, Yuui searched for the old one, the only one he had received. His eyes were running over the words again and again, trying to elicit them a new meaning... but it was futile. Nothing changed, he was still locked inside this room. Not literally, but his sickness had left the tall man drained and weak, so that walking up the stairs became a torture.

Will talk later. Get well first. LS

LS meant Li, Syaoron, obviously. The first sentence told Yuui that the brunet was willing to see him again, so he couldn't be that angry. But the second sentence... did it mean that Syaoron was concerned? Or was it just because the things they had to talk about were not casual?

Grunting, he put the phone back on the night stand and grabbed for the book. Wiggling his feet back under the blanket and rolling to his stomach, Yuui decided to distract himself from his own problems with a brilliant, twisted kid by diving into the book's story. Unfortunately, the protagonist was just as twisted and brilliant as the boy he didn't want to think of. So, there were two stories he followed – one, where he joined the lovely eleven year old Flavia de Luce and one, where he scanned every page for traces that the book's true owner might have left. Unfortunately, the paper back was quite new and the pages still held this very special book store scent... no chocolate stains, no scribblings... Syaoron was a careful boy when it came to books, there was no doubt about it.

Yuui found an eyelash. He picked it up with his fingertip, that one single hair (very short and dark brown, almost black, so unlike his own eyelashes...), made a wish and blew it away.

He made it to the end of the fourth chapter before he fell asleep again.

Mr. Hobarn Reed, born in Liverpool, the home town of the Beatles, was a distinct cousin of Clow Reed, the man who owned the land upon which the Horitsuba Private School was built. And while Yuuko-sensei was ruling over schedule and expenses of the elementary, middle and high school, it was Clow who had the final word. He was also in charge about the college studies that the school offered.

Thanks to his family connections, Hobarn Reed was now professor Reed, teaching history and anthropology (he had been aiming for archaeology but that position was occupied by Fujitaka Kinomoto). He was also the father of six children, four girls and two boys, though to be frank, he had always been a better archaeologist than husband and father. The whole 'raising a kid' thing was quite new to him when he decided to take care of his youngest son and he had no idea if he was doing well so far.

At least, the kid had done no crimes so far, he didn't get drunk, didn't smoke, curse or listen to bad music. He didn't play ego shooters and he wasn't suicidal. Regarding modern day society that was quite an achievement. But Syaoran was easy to raise, he was honest, kind and always eager to help. Good to the bone.

His brother, however...

Oh, Syaoron was not a bad kid, but he had the potential to be an awful rebel and he always got what he wanted. Mr. Reed knew that he should do something, that he should say no, but the thing was... the boy was too damn clever. He won every argument. Currently, Syaoron spent the nights elsewhere, to learn he said. Sure. Considering the boy's age and the pile of nude magazines he hid in his closet, that meant he was probably staying at his girlfriend's place, to learn how to get parts of his body into hers.

A good father would grab his son by the collar to have a serious talk about the risks of fooling around, about responsibilities and protection. Mr. Reed, who had tried this once, preferred sitting in the kitchen with a mug of coffee in his hand and the newspaper in his lap, because the first time he had wanted to go through the talk with the boys it had been a disaster. An enlightening disaster.

"So, Dad, if you say, we should always treat a girl like a lady... do you mean we should get her pregnant and ruin her chance to study and get a nice job, just to split up with her in the end? Because that's what you did with Mom." Syaoron said in a chatting manner that had a dangerous edge to it.

No, he certainly didn't need that again.

Well, no sound spoke of a man's content more than the soft rustling of a newspaper as its pages were turned... yet the faint smile (the kind that people wore when they hummed) vanished with the BANG of the door.

Mr. Reed jerked his head up, yet all he caught was a glimpse of someone who could be his older son as the kid rushed by without bothering to say hello. Mr. Reed clicked his tongue with disapproval and slid from his kitchen stool, to close the door. There was not much he requested from his boys, but they could at least mind some elemental manners! Really, what was he going to do with that kid?

Syaoran, still doomed to bed rest thanks to his cooking teachers overly amorous approach, was in a half-sitting half-lying position, eyes fixed on the monitor of the Nintendo DS that the twins shared. In fact, they shared a lot of technical devices, like their radio and their laptop... mainly because they inhabited the same room. With a shelve, whose position divided the room into two separate areas, each kid had its own corner with a bed, a closet and their narrow desks, so there was not much empty wall to be spotted. Yes, the room was a bit cramped but the twins were used to it and actually they liked it.

So it was no surprise that Syaoran found the sight of his brother's unoccupied bed and even more, the neat, organized desk, irritating. He wasn't used to that amount of space and within the last days he had become quite aware of the soothing effect that Syaoron's silent, thoughtful presence had on him. When the brunet couldn't distract himself playing video games, he stared on the posters tagged on his brothers side of the room that were replaced every Thursday as Syaoron re-decorated his room to give it a new motto and it had become a little challenge among the twins that Syaoran was the one who had to guess which motto. He hadn't figured out the current one (where was the connection between the Cheshire Cat, Pride and Prejudice, Wales and a Minotaur?) and he felt his chest tighten with worry at the prospect that this week's Thursday, the posters might not be changed.

But the worst thing to look at was the edge of the bed where Celeste used to throne since the burial of Mrs. Moneybunny last year - Syaoron's plush rabbit that he owned since he was a baby. Though the boy would never admit it to anyone except Syaoran or his mum, he couldn't sleep without that rabbit. His slumber was still a quite restless matter – though the occasional mug of coffee was to blame for that rather then Celeste's insufficiency as a sleep companion.

A creak as the door opened, and a heavy bag pack flew through the air, landing on the older twins' bed. The noise it made when it hit the mattress was that of an old man who sat down in his favourite armchair after a hard day's work.

"'Sup, Lil' Bro?" Syaoron greeted cheerily and, without waiting for an answer, he began unpacking his stuff. Syaoran couldn't believe it. Four days. Four flipping days had he been away and now he just walked in like nothing had happened, without a single excuse or an explanation?

"Wh...", he started, unsure where to begin and before he could stop the words from bursting out, he turned into his mother: "Where have you been all the time? Have you any idea how much we worried?" As the questions trailed off unheard – which is to say that Syaoron refused to listen to them – Syaoran added: "You could have answered your phone!"

"You could have tried another day", the other replied, the cheery attitude not faltering. Syaoran wondered if the amusement was just a mask but when it came to facial expression, Syaoron was as see-through as a sphinx. So, instead of looking at his brother's enigmatic features, he focused on the busy hands that kept on putting school books in order. They moved too fast, too certain.

Amber eyes widened.

"You're not staying."

"Yes, I am. Not for now though, I still have someone to see, mistakes to correct and a life to be lived. Don't worry, I'll be home before midnight, before the carriage turns back into a pumpkin and all that stuff." Syaoron winked but Syaoran didn't catch onto his humour. The younger twin noticed very well that Celeste, the infamous and ridiculously loved plush rabbit had not made an appearance so far.

With a soft thump, he could feel the matress underneath his body incline, as Syaoron sat on the edge of his bed. "I've got something for you, Lil' bro. I assume you haven't solved my riddle so far."

"Um, I- it has something to do with a book, right? I mean..." The Cheshire Cat was from Alice in Wonderland, the Minotaur was part of a Greek tale and Pride and Prejudice was one of the most popular Jane Austen novels, so they were all books except for Wales, which was a kingdom, obviously.

With a content grin (which either meant that Syaoran had the right idea or a silly one), the other shoved his hand in the pockets of his pants and retrieved a little, pear-shaped object from it. It was made from delicately painted wood, and Syaoran could make out a tiny, smiling face on the smaller curve of the pear shape – while the bigger curve was cut off, so one could place the figurine on a flat surface.

"This is a book", the older brunet exclaimed.

"No, that"s a matrioshka."

"This," Syaoron insisted, holding the object closer to his brother's face, "is a book and it is also the riddle's solution. While this -" He opened the matrioshka, let the smaller figurine (equally beautiful and the drawing full of details – blue eyes and brunet locks under a blue and gold hat, so it seemed) fall into the palm of his other hand. "This is what the posters stand for."

"... You mean a book inside a book?" No answer, no reassurance; just that smile. Syaoran wondered if this time, the riddle's purpose was to distract him from the things going on, to keep him out. That wasn't right. Surely, Syaoron would not misuse the little game they shared for such a mean thing? They had such a few things in common that the held dear what was uniting them.

Syaoran closed the lid of his DS and stuffed it under his pillow to take the matrioshka from his brother.

"I'll give you a little more time for this riddle. You should be done before Thursday; not this Thursday, but next Thursday." Syaoran pronounced the last words with such care, even leaving a little gap in between, like he was talking to an old, senile man. His brother was a bit offended by that – alright, he was not so clever, but he was not stupid or senile and he would not let himself be distracted from the really important question.

"Who are you going to visit, then?"

"Yuui-sensei."

Usually, Syaoran Li was not the kind of guy who you can hear inhale loudly when he has to face surprising news. Well, there was a first time for everything. "But... but you can't, have you forgotten what happened?"

"What, are you telling me I can't see my teacher, because he kissed you?" Syaoron asked with something stronger than annoyance, an emotion, the younger could not grasp.

The mentioning of that kiss, that surprising and unwelcome and not at all innocent confrontation with Yuui-sensei's lips set Syaoran's face on fire. His fists closed around the matrioshka and he buried them under his blanket while his gaze drifted down and focused a point on Syaoron's green and white striped sweater.

"You know very well, that this is not the problem, Onii-san. After all, he thought... you were there when Fai-sensei came to pick him up from the infirmary! You sat next to me as I explained what had happened and that Yuui-sensei mistook me for you. You shouldn't seek his company, not while he's still all weird and-"

"Stop talking about him like he's a pervert.'

"I'm not saying he is!" Syaoran yelled (or, to be honest, he tried to yell; only what escaped his lips was a squeal). He shook his head violently and his concern caused his blush to fade until a faint shade of pink remained. "But he is an adult, and a teacher. He has a responsibility. He should be able to control himself, even if he has a crush on you, he shouldn't even think of making a move-"

The boy could not finish his sentence, because by then his brother had snatched the pillow from behind his back and whacked it over Syaoran's head.

"Don't say that! Stop-" Another whack. "- saying this bullshit, god knows how many people came up with this crap before, god knows how many of them have already infected Yuui with their stupid ideas of moral! Do you think that makes him feel better?" Another whack. "Do you think you're the only one who has the right for a stupid, romantic love story, just because you and Sakura are lucky to be the same age?"

Syaoran raised his hands, expecting another strike that never came. Fast on his feet, yet slow with his hands he was. Amber eyes – identical to the ones of his twin up to the slim golden ring at the outer rim of the iris – widened as the words sunk in.

"Nii-san? I don't think I understand... are you saying you don't mind if Yuui-sensei can't keep his... feelings to himself?"

Syaoron pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a sigh of exasperation. And muttered something under his breath that sounded like can't believe he still doesn't get it to Syaoran.

"Nii-san?"

One last heavy sigh, then... "Fine. Fine. I'll tell you. I should have told you already, but-" Syaoron paused, seeming to consider. "If you tell Dad about this, I'll never forgive you. Never."

"I- oh. I won't tell. I promise."

"That's not enough, Lil' Bro."

So they hooked their pinkies together and Syaoran swore by the blood that ran through their veins and the genes that they shared that he would rather endure the curses of the heavens than tell their father about any secret his brother might reveal. Syaoron, confident, nodded and informed him that he was free to talk about it with Sakura, though.

"Or Mom and our sisters." He added. "Any one of our friends who already know. But Dad would get the wrong idea."

"Yeah, I get it, but what is it you're talking about?"

The older Li-twin crept onto the mattress and sat there cross-legged with the pillow stuffed on his lap, arms resting on the soft white fabric.

"Do you remember this spring, our last birthday, when we celebrated with Watanuki and Sakura? And we got this gigantic cake with those lovely sugar birds on it?"

"Sure. Sakura-chan and Himawari-chan wore those wedding dresses and Kurogane-sensei whacked Fai-sensei on the head because Fai-sensei had teased him."

"Right. I told you, well, actually I told Watanuki, that I was dating someone..."

"I know!" Syaoran interrupted, eyes gleaming anxiously, as the memory shaped up very clear. "Watanuki and I tried to find out, who it was, but you didn't want to tell. After a few weeks we gave up, but..." A thoughtful frown appeared on the teens face as his mind tried to reconcile his old memories with new facts. "You mean... it was..."

"Yuui-sensei? Yes. I mean, that was when we just started dating, but yeah. And this is why I don't want you to talk about him like he needs psychological help; because I'm still with him and if I have anything to say about that, I will be with him for quite a while, so you better get used to the idea."

"And Mom is fine with that?"

"Well, I made a smart move and left out the unimportant detail that Yuui's our teacher when I first mailed her, and that was in June, when we were past the dating part and – oh, for god's sake, Syaoran, get your mind out of the gutter!" Syaoron hollered with a mean grin as his twins face turned the shade of tomato soup. "We were just holding hands, then. Still are, to be true." Not that he minded... much.

"Anyway, Mom was less irritated than I'd expected when she found out. She asked me if I was aware about the possible consequences and I said I was. Besides, I bet Fang convinced her too that Yuui's not a perv; after all, she was the one who was in it from the beginning, since I started crushing on our teacher. Our dear sister was also the one who told me to make a move, so if everything goes wrong, I can still blame her."

Syaoran blinked, flabbergasted. In a way, it all made sense – his brother's angry reaction over the kiss and Fai-sensei's concerned look when he had come to pick Yuui-sensei up from the infirmary and when Syaoran had explained what had happened... back then Fai-sensei had turned to Syaoron to confirm that this was true. And when the brunet had done nothing but nod silently, Fai-sensei had patted his shoulders and told them about Yuui-sensei's odd behaviour pattern in times of feverish inflictions. So Fai-sensei knew about everything, too.

"There's just one thing..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well, I had to promise Fai-sensei something before he would let me go out with his brother, and you know Fai-sensei, he can become a bit weird and overprotective, so... to make a long story short, I had to promise him to have an eye on anyone who threats Sakura-chan's honour."

Syaoran looked irritated at first, then he chuckled. Soon the room was filled with his laughter, because to the boy it sounded like the most hilarious thing he had ever heard. Not that his brother should be Sakura's watchdog but that Fai-sensei had ordered it.

Syaoron's hand seized his shoulder as the older twin added: "This includes you."

The brunet choked on his laughter.

"Uh, what?"

"Apparently Fai-sensei is convinced that although you and she are just the cutest couple, you have no right to approach her with lustful thoughts until you're thirty. Or married to her. And if you should dare to make her cry... you get the idea."

Syaoron drew satisfaction from the shocked look on his brother's face. Why? Because he had the strange feeling that even with all those restrictions, Syaoran would still get laid earlier, which offended the youngster's pride a bit. No matter how often people would say that this was not a competition, they were boys. Everything was a competition; especially sex.

Nevertheless, if winning this contest meant urging Yuui to do something he was not ready for, then Syaoron would be glad to lose.

[1] Jonathan Safran Foer, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close". If someone wants to see the movie, don't read the book first if you can avoid it. But read it!

A/N: Now, we all know from Drama CD 4 that Syaoron buys nude magazines. I have the theory that he buys two kinds of magazines. The stack he's hiding in his closet for his Dad to find is the one with naked women, which is why his father assumes the boy is straight. Smart move when you're trying to distract a parent from the fact that you're dating your male teacher.