Jingle Vamps

Set on Christmas Day following Deadlocked.

Chapter One

Sookie sang Christmas songs the whole drive to Shreveport. It was pretty cold, but it hadn't snowed, and the roads weren't too bad at all. She'd spent the day with Jason, and visited Remy and Hunter, too, as well as dropping in on Sam. Then, after dark, she'd made her way to Shreveport to visit with her vamp family.

She knocked on Eric's door with some difficulty; since she was carrying a large bag full of gifts and her overnight bag under her other arm.

"Come on, come on," she mumbled impatiently, jumping up and down to keep warm. "It's freezing out here."

The door swung open, and there stood Eric. He was wearing nothing but blue jeans and a wicked smile. Sookie's temperature immediately increased by a couple of degrees.

"Merry Christmas, my lover."

He whipped out a sprig of mistletoe, holding it aloft, and stepped closer to her. He bent his head and planted a firm, lingering kiss on her lips.

"Mm. Happy Christmas, honey."

As Sookie stepped inside, she noticed there were a number of other mistletoe sprigs hanging from the ceiling strategically positioned, at regular intervals.

He took the gifts from her, peeking inside the bag.

"Are these all for me? Where are Pam's? Is this very small one hers?"

"They are all mine," Pam said, appearing from the kitchen. "You are on Santa's naughty list this year. In fact, you are always on his list, every year. He hates you. Hello, Sookie. How is my favorite breather?"

"Fine," Sookie said, taking off her coat and hanging it up, before removing her boots. "Cold."

"Join the club," Pam said, taking her by the hand. "Come and look in here. See what I have done."

Eric set about squeezing some of the gifts, and he sniffed at one trying to ascertain the contents.

"Stop that," Sookie said. "Put 'em down."

"What? I'm not doing anything."

"Bring them in here," Pam said. "Come on Sookie." She dragged her into the living room.

"Okay, okay. You're pulling my arm out of the socket, Pam."

"Ta-dah!" Pam said excitedly.

There was a massive fir tree in the corner of the living room. It was so big that the top of it touched the ceiling and bent over. There were four or five baubles on it that Sookie could make out, and lots of beautifully wrapped gifts beneath it.

"Oh," Sookie said, lost for words. "Wow."

"Is it too much?" Pam asked uncertainly.

"I told you it was too much," Eric said. "Take it back out."

"No. No, it's lovely," Sookie said. "I can't believe you guys did this for me. All the mistletoe and the gifts and the tree. You don't even celebrate Christmas." Her voice broke as she got emotional, and she sniffed. "It's so pretty."

Pam and Eric looked at each other with concern. Human tears would not be tolerated and must be prevented at all costs.

"It's nothing," Pam said quickly, pushing her towards the sofa. "I stole that tree from someone's front yard."

"Pam!" Sookie screeched. "You did what?"

"What? Do you know how difficult it is to obtain a tree on Christmas day? Do you? No, of course you don't."

"You stole a tree?"

Pam rolled her eyes, and set about piling the rest of the gifts beneath the tree.

"What did you want me to do, grow it myself?"

"Do you want refreshment?" Eric asked. "I got Mustapha Khan to prepare eggnog and Christmas cookies. I believe they are a popular treat during the festive period."

"Um..." Sookie was momentarily distracted at the image of the Wesley Snipes look-a-like rolling out the dough. She wondered if he'd used a throwing star or something as a cutter. She chuckled to herself, and Eric looked at her strangely. "No, I'm good for now, thanks. Maybe in a little while."

She and the two vampires exchanged gifts (Sookie was particularly happy with her new camera phone from Eric, Eric had not been quite so pleased with his homemade shell wind chimes from Pam), and Pam sang a rude version of Santa Baby for their amusement.

Sookie made them all wear party hats; she herself wore a silver and black pirate one, Eric wore a tiny gold crown (at a jaunty angle), and Pam had a small, cone-shaped purple clown one. Neither of the vampires were at all amused at being forced to wear shiny cardboard party hats, but Sookie assured them they looked great, and took pictures of them on her new phone.

They watched some TV, and Sookie was pleasantly surprised at the quality of Mustapha Khan's cookies (especially the beautifully piped icing), though his eggnog left something to be desired, and although she drank some of it to be polite, she opened a bottle of wine instead.

After Elf finished, Sookie decided it was time for some games.

They arranged themselves on the living room floor. Eric leaned against the big red sofa, as did Pam, and Sookie sat opposite them both, in front of the other sofa. In between them was the big heavy wooden coffee table, with the lovely patterned inlay that Sookie always had to fight the urge to pick at.

A couple of games in, and Pam began to get agitated.

"That is the most ridiculous game ever invented," she grumbled.

"Well, I thought it was fun," Sookie said cheerfully, as she boxed up Monopoly.

"You are a terrible loser," Eric said to Pam. "Nobody ever beats me at Monopoly, you know this."

"I wanted to be the car."

Eric rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his naked torso.

"Just how exactly would that have made any difference to the outcome of the game?" he asked.

"You wanna play Jenga again?" Sookie said.

"Only if we agree that hovering is disallowed," Pam said firmly. "Eric is absolutely banned from hovering over the tower to get the best angle for block removal."

"I think you'll find that there is no mention of hovering being outside of the official rules," Eric said. "Sookie, pass me that box."

"Maybe we should play something else," Sookie said with a sigh. "How about Twister? I brought that one too."

"Eric has an unfair advantage with Twister," Pam said grumpily. "His limbs are extremely long and enhance his ability to easily reach all the different colored spots. He would also hover over the spots and hence never fall."

Eric groaned.

"Do you really think I would stoop so low as to cheat at Twister?"

"Yes," Pam answered immediately. "You will do whatever it takes to be assured of victory."

"Fine. I don't want to play Twister with you anyway." He raised an eyebrow at Sookie. "Perhaps we could play that game later on, lover," he said seductively. "When we are alone. Naked."

Sookie shook her head at him, but inside she was visualizing how much fun that might be.

"Nonsense," Pam scoffed. "You need at least three players for Twister. Who will spin the spinny thing?"

"Hmm." Sookie couldn't argue with that one. "Well, what else you wanna play? That's all the games I brought."

"Whose idea was it to play games, anyway?" Pam huffed. "Why can't we go out? Let's go to a strip club or find some local youths to drain, something like that."

"Oh, sounds like great fun," Sookie said sarcastically. "It's Christmas, we Stackhouses always play games at Christmas. It's tradition."

"Tonight's choice of entertainment is Sookie's," Eric said. "I promised her we would enter into the festive spirit. Stop being a little bitch about it, anyway, just because you keep losing."

"I am not!" Pam screeched defensively.

"Ooh, no hovering!" Eric said, mimicking Pam's voice. "I'm not playing Twister, because my limbs are all small and stumpy, and I have such a poor sense of balance."

"How dare you? I have very graceful, elegant limbs, as well you know. You just have an unfair advantage over me and Sookie, and it reduces the level of enjoyment I get from such stupid human games. Sookie, back me up on this."

"I guess. But Eric doesn't have that much of an advantage with Monopoly."

"Of course he does!" Pam argued. "He's a ruthless, strategically-minded, power hungry bastard. Did you see how much enjoyment he got when I landed on his hotel on Boardwalk? Cleared me out!"

"Get over it, Pam," Eric said. "And I am not a power hungry bastard, take that back."

"Whatever."

"Let's play something else then," Sookie said. She reached for the bag of chips by her side. "Any ideas?"

"How about a nice traditional game, like charades, or blind man's buff?" Pam suggested.

"Bluff," Eric corrected. "Blind man's bluff."

"No, Eric," Pam said, smiling confidently. "It's buff."

"I think you'll find it's definitely bluff."

"Ha! Bluff!" Pam scoffed. "I have played it many, many times. Blind man's buff was a very popular Victorian parlor game. It has always been buff."

"Do you even know the meaning of the word buff?" Eric asked. "It's when you're all muscular and fit. Like me." He ran his palm over his bare chest and abs, before flexing his biceps. "I'm buff."

"It's definitely bluff, Pam," Sookie chipped in. "But it can also mean to rub something vigorously."

Eric flashed her a fangy grin.

"Would you care to demonstrate that, lover?"

"Yes," Pam said. "Thank you both for your little English language tutorial, but I am still quite certain that it's-"

"I order you to stop arguing and accept that it's bluff," Eric commanded. "As your maker."

"Damn!" Pam cursed. "That is such an unfair way to conduct an argument."

Eric gave her his 'deal with it' face.

"How about hide and seek?" Sookie suggested.

"Pointless," Pam said. "Eric and I will be able to sniff you and each other out straight away, especially since you smell so strongly of wine and eggnog. Plus we will hear you breathing, and you will be able to sense where he is now that you two have your blood bond back. It would only work if you were seeking me. I am very adept at squeezing into tight, confined spaces and concealing myself for long periods of time. I guarantee that you would not find me for days and ultimately no fun would be had by anyone."

"Oh, okay then," Sookie sighed. "Hey, do I really smell like eggnog?"

"Sookie and I could have some fun while you were holed up in your hidey space," Eric said. "I think we should definitely play that."

"I know, I know!" Pam said excitedly, choosing to ignore him. "Let's play truth or dare."

Eric groaned.

"Isn't that a bit schoolgirl sleepover?"

"What? Just because you won't have a hovering advantage."

"It's not even a proper game."

"It is, isn't it, Sookie?"

"Well, maybe we-"

"See? Sookie agrees. I'll go first."

"Can we at least settle on some rules before we begin?" Eric said. He stretched out his legs beneath the table, and wiggled his toes at Sookie. She took the hint, and started rubbing his big, bare feet.

"It's simple," Pam said. "We each take it in turn to ask each other 'truth or dare'. If you choose dare then we will dare you to do something, and you must do it or else you get a forfeit. If you choose truth then we ask a question and you have to answer it absolutely truthfully. I will know," Pam said, looking directly at Sookie, "if you are lying. I am very good at reading liars."

"This isn't the Spanish Inquisition," Eric said. "It's a game."

"I'm just saying. I know when you're lying, too."

"I don't lie. Well, I don't lie to you or Sookie, anyway."

"You lie to me all the time," Pam said. "You lied to me just the other day when I asked if my new skirt looked good and if the fit of it was too tight, and you let me walk out into the bar with it accidentally tucked into my knickers."

"How is that a lie? I answered your questions honestly, didn't I? I just chose not to advise you of the fact your bottom cheek was exposed."

"I was wandering like that for almost an hour!"

Eric threw his head back and closed his eyes, laughing to himself.

"I know."

"Look, let's just start, shall we?" Sookie said, getting tired of their bickering.

"Yes," Pam said. "I'll ask you."

"Do I have to go first?" Sookie whined.

"Yes. Truth or dare?"

"If I choose dare will you make me do something embarrassing?"

"Perhaps."

"Maybe we should just play Jenga again. Eric, do you promise not to hover?"

"Come on Sookie," Pam grumbled. "We're playing this now. Choose either truth or dare. Stop being such a grouch."

"Alright," Sookie sighed. "Truth, I guess."

"Excellent," Pam said. She tapped her chin in thought. "Let's see. Truth. Truth. Hmm."

"Come on Pam, hurry up," Eric mumbled impatiently. "I want my go."

"Yes, yes. I'm thinking," she said sharply. "Alright, here's one. On a scale of one to ten, how good was Bill sexually?"

Eric threw his hands up and groaned, and Sookie let out a shriek.

"I'm not telling you that!"

"Well then you incur a forfeit. Forfeit!" Pam shouted, pointing at her. "Forfeit!"

"Forfeit!" Eric chimed in.

"Don't you start," Sookie mumbled at him. "What's the forfeit?"

"You have to take off all your clothes and run naked down the street, singing Jingle Bells."

"No way, Pam! I'm not doing that, no way."

"Forfeits must be worse than dares, that's how it works. If you refuse to take the forfeit then you need to answer the truth."

"I don't like this game," Sookie pouted. "It's childish."

"Tell her, Eric. She's not following the rules."

"You wanted to play, darling," Eric said with a dramatic sigh. "I thought you were braver than this."

"Okay, okay. Damn pushy vamps," she muttered under her breath.

Pam and Eric exchanged a shifty sly smirk.

"Come on then," Pam said, rubbing her hands together. "What score does Bill get?"

Sookie looked down and played with a loose thread on the cuff of her red, knitted Christmas sweater. Pam and Eric both leaned forward slightly, waiting.

"Well," Sookie mumbled quietly. "I wasn't very experienced when I first met Bill. I thought he was pretty good, actually."

"Yes, but you have since experienced the pleasure of Eric Northman, Viking vampire sheriff sexy pants extraordinaire," Pam said, jerking a thumb at him. "Now you know how it's supposed to be done."

"Remember, Sookie, this has to be the absolute truth," Eric said.

"Well, I suppose I'd give him a... let me see..."

"What?" Pam said impatiently. "Come on. Two, three? One?"

"Six?" Sookie answered uncertainly.

"Six?" Pam and Eric echoed simultaneously.

Pam shook her head. "Be serious, Sookie."

"Hey, he was okay, you know."

Eric made a snorting noise, and Sookie shot him another glare.

"He could be a considerate partner. He used to pretend to breathe to make me feel more comfortable."

Pam and Eric immediately turned and stared at each other, their expressions shocked and appalled. Then they both burst out laughing. They really went for it, their loud guffaws filling the room. Pam had to lean on Eric for stability.

"Oh! Oh, did you hear that, Eric?" Pam said, barely able to speak. "He breathes during sex!"

"Priceless!"

"I knew I shouldn't have told you," Sookie grumbled. "You two can be so immature sometimes."

"What else did he do to pretend to be more like a human man, ejaculate prematurely? Did he fall asleep immediately afterward?"

"Erectile dysfunction caused by excessive alcohol consumption?" Eric added. "Wind?"

"Alright, a five. He was a five!" Sookie shouted. "Happy?"

"You have always had a very generous nature, lover," Eric said, smiling at her warmly.

"But seriously," Pam said, wiping a bloody tear away. "Let's face it, there's no way he would score above a three. I have heard tales of his abilities. He is well known in vampire circles to be lacking in that department."

"So why even ask?" Sookie said, throwing her hands up. "If you're such an expert on Bill's bedroom abilities, why even bother asking me?"

"I just wanted to hear the truth come out of your sweet little mouth," Pam said with a shrug. "You always seemed to over-estimate that miserable douchebag. What other Bill Compton sex secrets do you have? Come on, tell us. I could do with a laugh."

"No, no way. I scored him, it's your turn now."

"Yes," Eric said. "My turn to ask you, Pam. I think we have heard quite enough about Compton's terrible sex-abilities."

"Did he ever even go down on you?" Pam asked seriously.

"Er, Pam," Eric said. "That's-"

"Yes," Sookie said, almost defensively. "Maybe once or twice. He made sure I got my pleasure."

Eric closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, while quietly cursing in some old, long-forgotten language.

"Can we move along now," he grumbled. "I just recently fed and I really don't want to regurgitate any blood. I only had this carpet cleaned a couple of months ago."

"Sookeh!" Pam imitated, sitting up on her knees and thrusting her hips. "Have yew had your pleasure yet? Ahm getting tired. Whoo! Ahm out of breath!" She made loud gasping noises, and thrust more forcefully, in a pumping motion. "Yew! Ah! Mah! Miracle!"

Eric let out a snort and grinned, but zipped it when Sookie threw him a look.

"Come on, Sookie, aren't you amused?" He raised an eyebrow. "She does the voice so well. You're being very grouchy. Is it because I beat you at Monopoly and Jenga? Are you jealous and bitter about it like Pam is?"

"No. There's no need to be rude about Bill. Especially since it's the season of good will to all men."

"Well," Pam said, re-adjusting the elastic strap of her party hat, which had slipped off during the hilarity. "Technically he's not a man, he's a vampire, so he's fair game during the festive season. Just as he is at all other times of year."

"Oh, foof," Sookie said, popping some more chips. "Eric, it's your turn to ask Pam."

"Excellent," Eric said. "Right, Pam. Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"Are you sure?" Eric asked.

"Absolutely," she scoffed. "Do you think I am afraid?"

"Fine. I dare you to go over to the house opposite and get into a fight with that large plastic snowman they have out in their front yard. You have to pretend like it's cheated on you, and lash out at it, violently."

Pam narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, before standing up.

"Alright."

She brushed down her cream, wool slacks and baby-blue snowflake sweater, and immediately strode out purposefully through the kitchen. Eric and Sookie looked at each other and grinned.

"Is she really going to do it?" Sookie said.

"Let's have a look."

They both got up and went to the window, peeping through the heavy drapes. They watched Pam as she crossed the street. She started off by talking to the snowman in what seemed like a reasonable manner, and then she gave it a push. Sookie and Eric both began laughing as they watched Pam get more irate, gesticulating wildly, and shoving the big, plastic, festive ornament.

"... some snowy bitch with twigs for arms, don't think I didn't see you..."

"What's she saying?" Sookie asked, trying to read her lips. "I can't hear her properly."

"She's calling him out for cheating on her with a snowlady."

"... even agreed to go out with you, you're made entirely of plastic and your conversational skills are non-existent..."

"Oh no, Eric look," Sookie said, pointing at another house. "Some of your neighbors are watching."

Eric's arms snaked around her body, and he bent to kiss her cheek. Pam roundhouse-kicked the snowman, sending it toppling over.

"That's right, you cheating swine! Eat my loafer!"

"She's going crazy!" Sookie said, giggling.

"I like your reindeer sweater, my lover. Very sexy."

He kissed below her ear, and the coolness and expert placement of his lips made Sookie shiver.

"Thanks. I was going to buy you a matching one, but they ran out of your size."

"Well, that is a pity."

"... take me for a fool? Well, if I can't have you, no one will! You son of a..."

"You like your Santa socks, though, right?"

"Absolutely. I will model them for you, later on."

"Die! Die! You cheery, plastic shit!"

"Ooh! Sock modeling! Promise?"

"Hm-mm." He tugged the hem of her sweater up, and stroked the warm skin underneath. "Shall we have a quick one, while Pam is trashing the snowman?"

"She's annihilated it. Are you gonna pay for that damage?"

Eric sighed.

"Yes, I will pay for it. Although, the person who lives there is the idiot who reported me to the neighborhood watch committee when Alexei went apeshit in our cul-de-sac. And she does have some exceedingly tacky, obnoxious Christmas ornaments. Look at those awful dancing elves."

"I think they're cute."

"Well, you should know better. Elves are evil." Eric looked at them. "They are doing an evil, sadistic elfin jig of misery."

Sookie had another look, and tried to see what he was seeing. She just saw some cheeky dancing elves.

"Hmm. They look pretty cheerful to me."

"They are cunning like that."

His hands wandered restlessly all over her body, squeezing and massaging every curve. Sookie liked to call this activity 're-acquaintance with her topography', which, although incredibly weird, Eric found very amusing. He liked to re-familiarize himself with Sookie's mountains, hillocks, valleys and crevasses on a regular basis. In fact, he had her beautiful, ample form so ingrained in his memory that he could climb her blindfolded.

He drew her closer to him and picked her up, his arms wound tightly around her body, one hand upon Mount Stackhouse, and kissed her neck again.

"Just a quick one, lover. Come on."

"Quit it. Pam's coming back."

And so she was, striding back towards the house with a look of triumph on her face. Eric reluctantly put Sookie down, and they retreated to the sofa.

"How'd you like that?" Pam said as she re-entered, looking slightly disheveled. "Did you see me?" Sookie nodded enthusiastically. "I took that bitch down."

"You sure did."

"Shoes!" Eric barked, and Pam trotted back out again and removed them. She came back in, and curled up on the sofa opposite.

"Your turn to ask Eric, Sookie."

"Oh goody," Sookie said, grinning at him. "You think you're up for the challenge?"

"I have nothing to hide," Eric said nonchalantly, "and I will do pretty much anything without an ounce of guilt, embarrassment or shame."

"Hmm," Sookie shrugged. "I guess that's true. Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Pam encouraged. "Say dare."

"Truth."

It took a while for Sookie to think of a question, and Eric and Pam both went into downtime.

"Okay, I got one," she said finally, looking at Eric sideways. The vampires snapped back into consciousness. "How many people have you had sex with?"

Eric's forehead crinkled as he stared at her.

"Are you serious? Lover, I am a thousand years old. I have a voracious appetite for carnal pleasures. I am a vampire. Do you honestly expect me to have kept a record over the centuries? I lost count while I was still human."

"Just give me a ballpark figure," Sookie said, reaching for her glass. "You know, a rough guesstimate."

Eric shook his head.

"I don't know, maybe ten thousand-ish?"

"What?" Sookie spluttered. Some of her wine spilled on her sweater, and she wiped at it with her free hand.

"That's only a ten per year average," Pam said, shaking her head. "I think realistically it would be more like a hundred thousand. Maybe closer to two hundred thousand."

"Oh my Lord," Sookie said, her mouth hanging open in shock. "That's just..."

"That's too many," Eric said. "I can't possibly have had sex with that many people. I didn't lose my virginity until I was thirteen, plus I was monogamous for perhaps twenty or so out of those thousand years." He smiled at Sookie. "Including this one."

"Oh, you," Sookie said, squeezing his arm.

"Bleeeeurgh," Pam retched. "You two make me want to stake myself sometimes. Honestly."

"Shut up, Pam," Eric said.

"It's been a good year though, hasn't it?" Sookie said. "I got beat up a couple of times, and kidnapped again, but all in all things worked out well."

"Yes," Pam agreed. "You saw off that crazy Were, we made that pact with the King, and as for Oklahoma..."

"What a bitch," Sookie said. "She needed taking down."

"You were brilliant, lover," Eric said. "The way you whipped out that cluviel dor at the crucial moment."

"Oh yes!" Pam said, nodding her head in agreement. "Fabulous."

"It was a shame I could never figure out how to open it," Sookie said dejectedly. "I could've wished us all out of there and missed getting punched in the face."

"Yes, but the way you threw it at that guard's eye," Pam said. "Genius. Such an accurate aim. Threw him completely off balance. Completely tipped the advantage into our favor."

"I played softball in school," Sookie said proudly. "I still got the skills."

"And those fairies!" Pam said.

"Turned out that they-" Eric continued.

"I could hardly believe it when-"

"Well, never mind all that," Sookie said, interrupting them. "They're back in Fae now. I'll stop by the portal every now and then to transport some plum jam to Dermot, but other than that I'm steering clear."

"Very wise," Eric said. "But still, he did a nice renovation job on your attic. As you say, Sookie, it has been a very positive year."

"Oh!" Pam said suddenly, standing up. "I have another present for you, I almost forgot." She rushed out to her car, slipping her loafers on and off at the door again, and came back into the living room. She handed them a package wrapped in tissue paper, and Sookie took it from her.

"What's this?" Eric asked.

"It's a gift for the both of you. As you may have noticed, I have recently been introduced to the joys of crafting." She wafted a hand. "A silly human pastime, I know, but strangely relaxing. Open it."

She squeezed in beside Sookie, and watched as she pulled at the paper. The gift was a big, square, bound book. On the front it read 'Eric & Sookie - A Supernatural Love Story'.

"Pam, you made this?" Sookie said, mouth agape.

"Yes. I had a moment of romantic wistfulness." She waved her hand in front of her face and looked away. "It's nothing, really. Just a little project I worked on, in order to improve my scrap-booking skills."

Sookie flicked through the pages. The book was filled with photographs, interspersed with tickets and flyers and other items related to various events and trips they'd been on. She stopped and laughed at a page titled 'Dracula Night '05'. There was an invitation pinned on the page, like the one Sookie had received, along with a photograph of Pam posing in her silver lamé tuxedo. On the opposite page was a picture of Sookie sitting at a table with a glass in her hand. She was looking pissed off and tired, her pink party dress all covered in blood spatter. Eric was sitting opposite her, looking sternly at the camera.

"Look, baby, that was that night we staked that Vlad impersonator together, do you remember?"

"Hmm."

"This is amazing, Pam." Sookie said, obviously touched. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Eric, you really need to smile more in photographs. It was so difficult to find happy pictures of the two of you."

Sookie flicked through some more pages, and stopped on a section devoted to Eric's calendar shoot. She focused on one where he was lying on his front, lounging completely naked on some furs. She couldn't stop staring at the curve of his bare butt.

"Whoah. I never saw that one before."

"Look at you," Pam said. "Always pouting seductively or looking mean and moody."

Sookie turned the page. There were more pictures of the two of them together, and quite a few of Pam as well. She looked at a recent picture which Pam had taken at Fangtasia. Eric was sitting down, and Sookie had her arms wrapped around his neck, her cheek pressed against his, grinning. Eric had an intense smolder going on.

"She's right," Sookie said. "You're a real poser."

Eric snatched the book from her.

"I do smile in photographs. Sometimes."

He turned the page, and pointed to a picture where he was most definitely smiling. He was sitting behind his desk, and Sookie was just emerging from beneath it, looking shocked and suspiciously ruffled. Eric had a fangy grin on his face.

"Look, I'm smiling in this one."

"Pam, I can't believe you did that. That was so embarrassing."

"What?" Pam said, seriously. "There were very curious noises going on. I was concerned that Eric might be in some kind of trouble."

"I'm smiling in this one, too," Eric said.

He pointed to another picture which Pam had taken at Fangtasia. It was a night when they'd had a band on (they'd spent a great deal of money booking Vampire Weekend, only to find out that they weren't a vampire band at all, they were just a bunch of posh human boys who had a penchant for calypso music), and Sookie was looking towards the stage, clapping her hands and dancing. Everyone else in the picture was also focused on the show, apart from Eric, whose eyes were fixed on Sookie.

"You're staring at her ass," Pam said.

"You are such a beautiful mover, my lover," Eric said.

"Thanks."

Placed on the pages around the pictures, there were bows and little cut out pictures Pam had stuck here and there. Some of them were completely random, like beach balls and watering cans placed next to photographs of Eric in his priest's cloak in Rhodes.

"Pam, why did you take a photograph of my porch swing?" Sookie asked. There were pink hearts and monkeys stuck around it.

"Eric told me you had sex on it. I thought it would bring back happy memories."

"Oh. Thanks. That's real sweet."

The final picture at the back was one of Pam. It was a professional glamour shot, all foggy, with glare coming off her sparkly diamond drop earrings. Even her fangs looked extra shiny and polished.

"How did that get in there?" Pam said, pretending to be embarrassed. "I do look good though, don't I? Look how elegantly placed my hands are, Sookie."

"You look great," Sookie said. "Like one of those classic movie stars."

"Yes," Eric agreed. "Groucho Marx."

"Oh, a-ha ha ha ha-ha," Pam said miserably. "What a good joke."

"I command you to find my joke amusing," Eric said. "As your maker."

Pam sat absolutely still for a moment, then shook her head.

"No. I'm afraid it was so bad that even your maker influence isn't doing the trick."

"Why are there so many pictures of you in here, Pam?" Eric asked. "I think there are almost as many of you as there are of me."

"Well," Pam said, getting up and completely ignoring him. "I need to be going. It has been fun, but I should get back to the nest."

"Thanks again for this," Sookie said. "I really love it."

"I'm pleased," Pam said, removing her party hat. She gathered her gifts together in a bag, and Eric and Sookie got up to see her out.

"Thank you for a wonderfully festive evening," Pam said at the door, after slipping her cream, wool coat and loafers on. "Eric, I will see you at the bar tomorrow."

He nodded at her, and she gave Sookie a peck on the cheek. As she pulled away she began laughing.

"What?" Eric asked.

"Oh! Bill-" She broke off, bursting into loud laughter. "I still can't believe Bill-" She clutched at her sides and bent over. "Breathing! That is the best laugh I have had in a long time."

Eric smiled at her, and even Sookie had a chuckle.

"Bye, Pam. Happy holidays."

"Wait until I tell Thalia, she's going to love that," Pam said, picking up her bags and setting off down the drive. She got in her car, and Sookie waved her off from the door.

"I had a really fun evening," Sookie said, wrapping her arms around Eric. She pressed her cheek against his bare chest.

"The night is yet young," Eric said, his hands gripping her picturesque, twin hills.

"You wanna play naked Twister now?"

"Lover, I have never wanted to play naked Twister more in my long, long life."

Sookie grinned at him, and he chased her back into the living room, laughing all the way.

A/N: This is a two part fic (I think you can guess what might be coming up next), second part will be up soon. Thanks for reading, and thanks to RubySun03 for beta-ing for me, you're awesome as always!