Weakness

He is William Herondale, and sometimes he wonders.

He wonders what if the truth had been revealed sooner. He wonders how many chances, many precious moments he could have saved. He wonders whether the people he loved, would have come to love him for who he was all the same.

But most of all, he wonders if just maybe, Theresa Gray might have been his.

"Jem has proposed to me, and I have said yes."

At that very moment, his entire world fell apart. That hollow feeling in his heart was back again, that sorrowful emptiness. It was too late.

He blamed the demon for lying to him, for tricking him and tormenting him in the most despicable ways. But who could he have blamed more but himself? It was him who stupidly believed the demon's lies, him who pushed everyone away. It was him who had been so very cruel to the woman he loved the most, him who let her be taken by someone else – his very own parabatai.

He was inexplicably, madly in love with her. Her lavender-scented tresses, her endearing expressions, her irresistible lips – all of them were so precious, so dear to him. But now they were not his to cherish.

And so maybe that was why that night, something in him broke. Simply the view of her bathed in scintillating moonlight; a forlorn figure standing alone on the balcony of the institute, was too much for his battered heart to take.

"Tessa," the single world escaped his lips, his voice wavering.

She turned swiftly, hearing her name – and that was when he caught her expression. Those beautiful eyes the color of falling ash shone with tears, her desolate expression heartbreaking.

Caught unaware, she flustered, wiping her tears away and masking her feelings. Her trembling voice betrayed her when she whispered back, "Will… Why are you here?"

Why are you here? Why now? Why didn't you come before everything fell apart?

He swallowed, thinking about everything they could no longer have. Never again would he embrace her. Never again would he tease her playfully, with spiteful, sarcastic remarks. Never again would they share little moments of passion, of desire, of love.

It was impossible. This was impossible. And every single bit of that resolve dissolved when he stepped forward, fingers gently caressing her cheek. "I miss you."

A moment later, his lips were soft upon hers, his hands cupping her cheeks, lost in the sweet taste of her. And he was melting, melting, melting.

"Will, I can't- I can't do this." But her voice was breaking, her quivering hands clutching his shirt tightly; their faces so close the tears streaming down their faces had met. They were tears, tears of frustration, of regret, of desire so strong that it hurt to resist.

And he knew. He knew he was betraying his closest friend, his brother, his parabatai. He knew he was being despicable, but when her fingers came up to lightly brush away a falling teardrop, he wouldn't- couldn't stop.

And as his arms wound around her slender waist and his lips found hers again, his heart was torn apart.

He was despicable. He was breaking his parabatai's heart. He was irrevocably in love with a girl he could never have. But even with this, he couldn't stop.

He is William Herondale, and she is his only weakness.

-End

And so I'm finally writing again. I changed my username so maybe you don't remember me, but I'm also the author of two other Infernal Devices fanfictions – Precious and Coincidences.

I've recently finished reading Clockwork Prince, and the end of the book killed me. It was absolutely heart-wrenching to read about Will's heart being broken just like that but oh gosh, I don't want Jem to be hurt either. Consider this my guilty pleasure. I'm on Team Will, but I like Jem too.

Let me know if your heart is as broken as mine after reading CP, and I would greatly appreciate reviews and constructive criticism. ^^