*Sorry for the wait, but let's get this show on the road! Shout-out to JordanJas for the idea; I'll certainly be using it! And since I am,this chapter might be a little more M rated and sexually focused than the others. You have been warned!*

My alarm clock buzzed at an utterly ungodly hour. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. Thursday morning. The first day of my torture.

I groaned again as I hauled myself out of bed and to the bathroom for a shower. The warm water helped prepare me for the day to come, but not much. When I stepped out, I realized I'd forgotten to bring a towel with me, and had to try to air dry myself by hopping around and contorting myself so as much skin as possible was under the hand dryers.

Content I wasn't dripping on the floor quite as much anymore, I ducked my head out into the hall to check that there was nobody out there. Luck was with me on that one, and I raced back to my room, where I finished toweling off and threw on a set of clothing.

I reached for my bag and looked at my clock. "Shit, I'm late. Oh well. Dimitri won't care. Too much, anyway."

I took my time getting to the gym. It wasn't very far, but I abused every extra second, pounding as much time out of it as I could. I was the only one out at oh-death-thirty in the evening, and there was no one hurrying me along.

"You're late, Miss Hathaway," I heard as I pushed open the doors to the gym. I frowned and looked around, searching for Stan or Kirova, because there's no way that was my Dimitri that said that to me. But my eyes found only Dimitri, and surprisingly Eddie. They sat on the floor facing each other, playing some sort of card game.

"What the hell is this?" I demanded.

Dimitri looked at me crossly. "Is that any way to address your instructor?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Um . . ."

Eddie laughed. "Seems like he's fully embraced the relationship switcheroo thing. No more Mr. Nice Dhampir for you."

"That's shit!" I exclaimed. "Just because we can't be together this week — stupid freaking dare! — doesn't mean we can't be friends."

Dimitri shrugged. "I don't know. Honestly, I can't picture how I'd act around you if we really weren't together." He paused. "Don't kiss him, okay?" he said softly, his face earnest.

I snorted. "Nothing to fear there. I don't want to be around him any more than absolutely necessary. Maybe we can be in a long distance relationship," I suggested hopefully. Eddie laughed.

"Well," Dimitri started, standing up and getting back on track, "we'd best get to work."

Training was just about what it always was, plus a little suckiness because Eddie was lounging on the ground watching me.

"You know, you could do some of this too," I said to him at one point. He just laughed at me.

As grueling as training was, it was nothing compared to what was to come after. I sat, panting and more than a little sweaty, wondering why I'd showered before coming to train, 'cause that was dumb, and trying not to think of how much of my day I'd have to spend near Christian (because I refused to think of myself as with Christian) when who was to walk into the gym but my raison-d'être, the apple of my eye, the worm between my teeth, and, if he wasn't careful, the face beneath my fist.

"Pumpkin-pooh!" he called, heading toward me. When he spread his arms like he was expecting a hug, I scrambled back and away from him. Then I came up with a better idea and stood, waiting for him to come to me. He hesitated for a second, but didn't think better than to keep coming for his hug.

I smirked as he wrapped his arms around me then squealed in disgust, his black T-shirt covered in my sweat.

"Girly squeal," I teased. "What a manly beau I have."

He scrunched up his nose. "I've come to walk you to class," he told me.

"Thanks," I retorted, "but I manage to get to class every day without you to guide me." I thought a moment. "Well, almost every day."

"If I'm your boyfriend for a week, I'm going to be exactly to you as I would be to someone I actually wanted to be with. More or less. Maybe a little heavier on the less side."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you think I'm going to be Lissa for the week, you've got another thing coming. So you might as well just scamper along to your first period."

He just crossed his arms and stood there resolutely. I huffed and headed to the change room to rinse off and uh, change, since that's what you do in a change room.

I paused before the door on the way out, casting my eyes to the ceiling. "I so don't want to do this." But I drew in a breath, pulled on my big girl panties, and stepped out to face Christian.

"Schnookims!" he cried.

I suppressed my gag reflex. "Let's get this over with."

He held out his hand to me, but I ignored it and headed for the door. Christian frowned and followed, and Eddie trailed after us both. At least flame-boy wasn't in any of my classes before lunch.

I didn't usually look forward to Advanced Guardian Combat techniques, but this morning I was extraordinarily excited. If it meant getting away from the sickly sweetness of Christian, I was game. It also meant I didn't have to see Dimitri and Lissa together, but I was stuck thinking of them for a decent period of time. Hopefully wacking something will help, I thought.

Christian left Eddie and me at the door to our class, and I was happy to see him go. I watched as he started picking at his still-sweaty shirt once he thought I wasn't looking.

"I gotta say, I think you're going about this all wrong," Eddie told me as we headed into class.

"How so?" I grumbled, already in a bad mood.

"It's like you're trying to fight a Strigoi by putting it in a cage and poking at it with one of those paper sticks they put cotton candy on. It's not gonna work. You've gotta fight a strigoi by being better than it at its own game. You have to be stronger and faster that it, more prepared."

"You realize I nearly failed English, right?"

He sighed. "You've gotta fight the fire user with fire. Beat him at his own game. If he's going to be sweet as syrup, well you're just going to have to be a Toasted Almond."

I stared blankly at him.

"It's a drink," he explained. "Amaretto, Kahlúa, cream, and ice cubes."

I made a face. "That sounds disgusting. And that's saying something, 'cause I'll drink anything."

He laughed and stepped away from me as the dhampir who was leading today's class called us to order. "Think about it," he called ominously. The laugh he followed it up with dispersed some of the creepiness.

I did think about it, all class long, and when Christian was waiting for me outside class at the end, I was ready for him.

Before he could even say anything, I ran over to him and hugged him. "Baby!"

He froze, startled, and didn't return my hug. He shook himself when I let go, though, and fell back into his roll. Damn.

He held his hand out again, and this time I took it. I fought a grimace, and managed to keep a straight face. I was impressed with myself.

We walked to my next class, and I kept up the sweet facade, though it killed me to do it. If I'd really wanted to take my acting all the way, I would have given him a peck on the lips before he left, but always at the front of my mind was what Dimitri had asked of me. Not that I could ever bring myself to kiss him anyway. Blech.

The door closed behind me for second period, and I waited thirty seconds to make sure he was gone before slipping back out the door. It wouldn't matter so much if I skipped class. It was only Stan, and I skipped his class all the time.

I sighed in relief at being free, trying to decide what to do. I settled for heading to Lissa's classroom and seeing if I could convince her to sneak out. It was near impossible, but I always got a kick out of trying.

I was surprised when I ran into Adrian in the hall. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Walking. Is a man not allowed to walk?" he raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Looking to break Lissa out of class."

He nodded approvingly. "Mind if I come along?"

I shrugged. "I really don't care."

We fell into step together, and headed silently toward Lissa's current classroom.

She was sitting ever-so-dutifully behind her desk when we showed up. I couldn't hear what the teacher was saying, but I imagined her droning on about nothing. I stood at the little window in the door, making strange faces, trying to come up with a good excuse to get her out of class.

Turns out I didn't have to. She turned around just in time to catch a particularly disturbing face of mine. She didn't react, just calmly turned back around and asked to go to the washroom. The teacher glanced at the window, and I dodged out from view.

A whole of fifteen seconds later, Lissa emerged from the multi-pocketed stomach of the academic cow. That's a nice visual right there, isn't it?

"Lissa!" I crowed cheerfully.

She grinned at me. "What are you guys doing?"

"Strolling," Adrian responded with a bob of his head.

"Sounds fun."

"It's not," I told her. "But I was coming to get you, and now I've got you, so . . . Yay!"

"We should round up the rest of the gang, maybe play a game," she suggested.

The corners of my mouth pulled up into a wide smile, and I felt a little bit like the Grinch. "That's a great idea. And I've got an idea."

I crept my was through the administrative building, heading to Kirova's office. It was empty when I reached it, and I noted how she never seemed to be in her office anymore. Ah, well, all the better for me.

There, sitting on a table along the wall, was the microphone for the PA system. She didn't have it sitting on her desk, of course, because that would look too garish, but she did have one in her office. Of course, there were other mics I could have used, but it's just so much more fun when I get to sneak into Kirova's office.

Naturally I knew how to use it. And I'd spent so much time in her office, listening to her drone on, that I could imitate her fairly well. Certainly well enough not to have anyone notice the difference across the intercom.

I flicked the switch that sent the sound to all the senior campus buildings, and snickered before pressing the button that would let my message be projected.

"This is Headmistress Kirova speaking. It is my decree that all senior classes shall be let out for the rest of the day. I repeat: all senior classes shall be let out for the rest of the day."

I released the button and, with a smile, snuck back out of the room. Now that everyone was free, the day was ours. Of course, it also meant I'd be subject to more time with Christian, which really sucked. But at least that way I could see Dimitri too.

Everyone had gathered in my room when I got there, as I'd had Lissa tell them to.

"Neat trick," Eddie praised.

I grinned. "You're welcome!"

"Do you want to play a game?" Christian asked in a fake deep voice, referencing the movie Saw. He came over to me and slung his arm across my shoulders. I fought back a cringe, and I felt Lissa's humor through the bond, with just a hint of jealousy. She didn't let the green emotion take over though. Or is green envy? Does it really matter?

"Like what?" Mia asked.

"Pickup lines!" Adrian exclaimed.

"What's that?" Lissa asked. Ah, the naivete. So adorable.

"It's where you go around in the circle, and everyone says a pickup line until you run out, and when you do, you're out. And you can't repeat the same one as someone else," I explained.

"And the more sexual it is, the better." Adrian smirked.

We sat in a circle, and decided Adrian would go first, since it was his game. (A/N: here marks the beginning of the sexually explicit part.)

"Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, I'll owe you one." Dimitri made a face, clearly not liking this game. I was kind of interested in what he would say. We'd never done the whole pickup line thing.

Lissa didn't appear to like this much more than he did, but she was next. "Uh . . . If beauty were time, you'd be eternity."

"Aw! Of course you'd say something like that," I laughed.

Dimitri's turn. Keeping with the dare, he and Lissa sat next to each other, and Christian sat next to me. Yay.

"If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents," he said, staring at the floor by my feet.

Eddie. "If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?" He raised his eyebrow suggestively, and we all laughed. Eddie being suggestive was less creepy or sexual, and more just hilarious.

"That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?" Christian said.

My turn. I thought a moment, trying to come up with a good one. In the end, I settled on one of my personal favorites. "My name's Rose. Just so you know what to scream."

Adrian sniggered, and Mia took her turn, completing the circle. "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

"Nice. To the point," Adrian mused before going again. "Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong."

Lissa and Dimitri were both flame red by now. "Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes," Lissa said awkwardly. I knew she would only be good for a couple more rounds before she ran out.

"Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them," Dimitri said. He was looking at my foot this time. Listening to him was actually really sweet. I might have to get him to play this one on one with me sometime.

Eddie went. "There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus." It was cute. He was trying so hard to be creepy, and it just wasn't working.

"Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist." Christian wasn't as racy as the rest of us, but he wasn't as nice as Dimitri and Lissa.

My go. Oh yeah! "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK.'"

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?" Mia asked no one.

Back to Adrian. "My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?"

Lissa's face twitched as she thought. "There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look." Yep, that certainly sounded like Lissa. Her thoughts reached me, and she wracked her brain for another line.

"You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line." Dimitri's eyes were up at my knee now.

"I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight." Eddie winked, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?" Christian grinned.

"You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night," I said.

"Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?" Mia smirked.

Adrian again. I got the feeling he could go about as long as I could. I knew it would be down to him and me in the end. The rest of this was really just posturing. "That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too."

Lissa shook her head. "I'm out." She stood and moved to sit on my bed.

Dimitri stayed in, despite what I'd expected. He was looking at my hip now. "You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room."

Eddie also seemed to be running out, but he found one. "Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up."

Christian was still in. "Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit."

Naturally, I still had miles of them in my mind. Unfortunately, most of them were ones to be said by guys. When I ran out of the female ones, I'd have to start using them. "Just remember: To you, I am a virgin."

"I love my bed but I'd rather be in yours," Mia said.

"You're like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home," Adrian continued.

Dimitri met my eyes. "Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you." There was a pause, where no one quite knew how to respond. My heart swelled. "I'm out now." He moved to lounge on my bed.

Christian finally broke the reverent silence, saying, "Don't you talk to my girlfriend like that!" There wasn't much conviction behind the statement, showing how much he didn't care about me that way. He was just trying to defuse the situation.

We got back to the game, and Eddie seemed back in the right mode, able to think up another line. "Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight."

"I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle," Christian recited.

"I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?" I voiced.

"I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate," Mia announced.

"I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight," Adrian went.

"Are you the lottery lady on TV, because I'm picturing you holding up my ball," Eddie said.

"I'm out," Christian said sadly, backing away from the circle and going to sit next to Lissa.

"And then there were four," I said ominously, before continuing with my line. "The things I would do if I got a few roofies in you."

Mia dropped out that turn too, and Adrian took his turn. "Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."

"Damn girl I'd love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face," Eddie said.

"I'm peanut butter, you're jelly, let's have sex," I told the room.

"The word of the day is 'legs.' Let's go back to my place and spread the word," Adrian articulated. That's right, I used the word articulated. Not really sure what it means, but I used it.

Eddie bowed dramatically and mockingly to us. "You are the kings. Er, king and queen. Whatever. I can't compete." And with that, he dropped out, leaving just Adrian and me. As I'd thought.

"They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?" I started.

"There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?" he rebuked.

"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed."

"We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?"

"Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!"

"With great penis, comes great responsibility," he responded.

"This may seem corny, but you make me really horny."

"If you're feeling down, I can fill you up."

"I bet my tongue can beat up your tongue." I grinned.

"I bet I'd let you." A toothy smile of his own took over his face, showing a flash of the fangs that he usually kept very well hidden, like all Moroi.

I pointed at him. "That's not a pickup line! I win!" I crowed.

"That could so be a pickup line," he argued.

"Really? Would you honestly walk up to a girl and randomly say 'I bet I'd let you?'"

"Maybe." He shrugged.

Mia laughed. "As if! Rose totally wins."

I grinned wider. "Oh yeah."

"Well, we still have time before lunch, thanks to Rose's stunt, so we could play another game," Eddie suggested.

"Where is Kirova today, anyway?" I asked, looking to Dimitri.

"She went into town secretly. Next to nobody knows. You're very lucky. Any other day would have undoubtably gotten you detention," he told me.

I shrugged. "Meh. Anyway, didn't Eddie say something about another game?"