Author's Note:

Hey guys, this is my first Gintama fanfic, so don't expect much... I just felt like writing Okita Sougo x Kagura because I adore the pairing. This story starts with how Kagura wants to become a good girl for Christmas, but has a hard time doing so because a guy like Okita is around. The real plot will be revealed later.

Forgive me for the out-of-characterness and bad grammar, but I hope you guys will enjoy my fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. Reviews are appreciated!

All I want for Christmas is...

...Your Head On a Plate. [Chapter 1]

"Bes ureto. Att end myp arty. Butt he. Foo di sall. Mine. Aru. Gya. Ha. Haha." Looking up from the piece of paper he had just read, Hijikata sent Gintoki a questioned look. "Oi, Yorozuya. What's the meaning of this?"

Before the lazy samurai could reply, Kagura slid the small door aside and got out of the cupboard she slept in. Her untied vermilion-dyed hair reached her shoulders, and unlike usual, she was not wearing a red cheongsam with yellow piping, but pink pajamas.

"Tax robbers are really stupid-aru. It's an invitation to my birthday party!" the girl exclaimed bluntly, shamelessly insulting the officer, a pair of delicate hands firmly rested on slim hips. "Besides, can't you even read properly? Gin-chan says you have'ta put effort into everything you do, konoyarou! It's supposed to sound like this: 'Be sure to attend my party, but the food is all mine-aru! GYAHAHAHA!~'"

Finding her speech annoying, Toushirou's frown deepened tremendously. "…Haa?"

"Kagura…," the silver-haired male spoke lazily, "Why don't you head back to sukonbu-heaven or wherever you just came from. Sleep helps a child grow, y'know?"

"I'm no child. I'm a lady-aru!" The Yato corrected him forthrightly, an adorable pout adorning her lips. Yes. When the clock hits 12, I, Gintama's cute heroine, will turn 15-aru! So far, she had lived 1/6 of a human life—and that was definitely something to be proud of!

"Everyone who looks forward to their own birthday is still a child," the sugarholic stated. "Now, didn't I tell you to go back to your room?" He waved a dismissive hand at her, like parents would if their kid interrupted a discussion about who was going to top in bed later that night.

"But Gin-chan, I don't have a room-aru," the girl pointed out, her voice hinting of utter disappointment. "It's just a cabinet shelf."

"Mou, kids these days. They're never satisfied with anything," Gintoki complained and closed his eyes as he stuck a pinkie finger into his ear, twisting it around. After flicking away some ear wax, he turned back to the girl so they could continue the lesson. "Listen here. A room is a space separated from other spaces. Kagura, aren't you sleeping in such a space? Exactly! That wondrous space you look down at for being a mere cabinet shelf is, in fact, a room! And that fawesome thing you call sliding door is obviously a shouji – It's traditional Japanese architecture! Only rich people have those! Aren't ya lucky? Gin-san is jealous! Now go back to your wondrous space before I cut down your salary."

"Gin-san, please don't make up things just because you can't afford to rent more rooms," Shinpachi told him, for it was his job as the straight man of the show, "Since when did we ever get paid for working here anyway?"

As always, his friend ignored him and his boring lectures. The boy couldn't take the awkward silence that had started to fill the room's every corner like poisonous gas, so he turned to the Vice-Commander. "I'm very sorry about that, Hijikata-san," referring to the invitation, "—but our Kagura-chan wanted to invite a few Shinsengumi members to her birthday party." …though I have no idea why, he added as a mental notice. As far as he remembered, the Yorozuya had never gotten along with them. Not on regular basis, at least.

"As police officers who keep the peace in Edo, we're too busy to attend parties," Hijikata stated strictly, "But I'll see what I can do."

"Keeping the peace?" Gintoki snorted. "More like causing trouble and annoying the crap out of people, if you ask me."

"No one asked you!" The blue-eyed samurai balled his fist at Sakata, quite irritated, "Wanna fight, bastard?"

"Fine. Let's get this over with."

"Ready?"

"Whenever you are."

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"STARTING WITH ROCK! – ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!"

Kagura stared dully at them 'fight' and was about to tell the two to stop acting like MADAOs (MAtomo ni DAkaretakunai Otoko: Men no one wants to date), when a certain someone spoke up. "Hijikata-san, she said the food is hers. I don't feel like going if there's nothing to eat."

The girl's eyes widened remarkably at the sound of his monotone voice, her heart skipping a beat. It was that guy again. Oh, how she loathed him. How could he talk about her birthday in such a manner?

By now, the men no one wanted to date had dropped their silly argument, and instead decided to watch the youngsters.

"What did you say?" Turning sharply in the doorway's direction, she sent him a dark glare. "Want me to kill you, you damn brat!"

"That's harsh." As though the Yorozuya office was his personal zen garden of some sort, the crimson-eyed lad showed no sign of shame or whatsoever as he stepped into the room, still in the dirt-stained boots he had been walking Edo's dusty streets with. "Oi, China. Are you into neglect play? 'cause your guests are gonna boycott the party if you keep threaten them like that. "

"Shut up! Unlike you, I don't have those disgusting fetishes!"

Aside from his annoying deadpan attitude, the words he spoke also made her want to choke him to death. Why did he always have to start an argument with her every time their paths crossed? Why couldn't that bastard just stay out of her life, where he belonged? It was a bad idea to invite him she realized at last, but it was too late now.

The only reason why Kagura wanted to include them on her guest list was because of the presents. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the girl knew there was a big difference between Gintoki's and a Shinsengumi member's salary. I should have left that sadist out-aru. He would probably have given me something useless and disgusting anyway.

"Aah… A headache is coming up," the perm-head said to no one in particular while rubbing the back of his head. Whenever she was too loud, he always tried to catch her attention like that. After all, the only times it was acceptable for him to get a headache was when it was caused by a hangover - because it 'couldn't be helped', as he would say.

"Fine-aru. Good night, and Happy Birthday to me in advance~" She didn't feel like arguing with the sandy-haired boy any further, because it was way past bedtime already. I need sleep so I can hurry up and grow into a beautiful woman-aru, she motivated herself to leave, When that time comes, people will get down on their knees and beg me to invite them to my party!

"Sweet nightmares."

"…" The Yato shifted her gaze back to the crimson-eyed guy. That wasn't how people usually greeted someone good night, was it? "What are you saying, you br-?"

"'Brat'?" He cut her off before she could finish her sentence, finding it contradicting that she could even use that word as an insult despite being 4 years younger than him. "Oi, China. Are you still dreaming? Wake up already. Or better; sleep forever and never wake up. At least you can't pollute the air with your verbal diarrhea."

"OI!" Kagura raised her voice to an even higher level than before, tightly grabbing onto the shirt collar of his ink-colored Shinsengumi uniform. "Do you want your death now-aru? Are you so excited that you can't wait?" She had to use every ounce of willpower not to punch Sougo in the face, because it was extremely tempting at the moment. Normally, she would have done it too.

But not today.

"Too bad, your attempts to anger me won't work anymore-aru! I'm old enough to act mature and handle this like a grown-up would! Gyahahaha~" The blue-eyed alien smirked confidentially. Shesh, as if she'd lose her cool because of a trivial matter as this. She was almost 15 years of age after all, and a real lady at that.

"Ah. Before I forget it…" the captain sent her a gentle smile (which was thoroughly charming, she couldn't help but notice). "Happy Birthday."

"Hah! Didn't I tell you? It won't work o—…! Huh?" Kagura blinked in surprise as a delicate shade of pink colored her puffy cheeks. What… Wait. Did he just…? …

"You deaf? I said Happy Birthday," Sougo repeated once more, this time a little louder than before in case her hearing indeed had gone bad.

No, she was not mistaken.

His subtle words of kindness filled the fair maiden with pure felicity. They caught her completely off guard and triggered the feeling of nervousness that ever so often laid asleep somewhere deeply within her soul.

This feeling was different from the unpleasant turbulence she had to go through when faced with an obnoxious task, whether it be serving rushed errands for the Yorozuya or when bombarded by whirlwinds of discouraging statements. In fact, this odd sense of nervousness lifted her spirits, revealing a blanket of soothing sensations that eventually calmed her nerves. Such a feeling surprised even herself, as it gently persuaded the girl to act more tender and kind like a damsel in all her femininity.

Although this guy recurrently made her want to throw a tantrum every now and then, there was also an undeniable admiration hidden beneath her apparent tenacious surface. As a child of the Yato species, she could not help the fact that she became easily attracted to strong people – and Sougo was exceptionally strong for being a mere human, especially at such a young age.

After the times they had interacted, Kagura realized there was a lot more to him than what met the eye. Skilled with the sword, loyal to his Commander, and good looking (not that she would ever admit this to him, of course). Those were only few of the more favorable things about the sadist, not to mention how he actually was a nice person deep, deep down.

…As in deep, deep, deeeeeeeep down.

If it weren't for his sarcastic comments, sadistic teasing and deadpan attitude, then maybe…just maybe they could have gotten along. Not that she cared either way, but…

"Um… th…thanks, I gue-…"

"Let's hope height won't be the only part of you growing this year."

…

She should have known.

Feigning good will. Cloaking the truth.

Bluffing was a sadist's specialty. Making small mistakes around one could cause a fatal aftereffect. How could she forget? Perspiration beaded on her forehead, and soon, a popped vein joined in too. Who cared about acting mature anymore?

"JERK!" the red-head yammered loudly as she lunged towards Okita. "DIE, YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!"

"Ladies first. There's no need to be shy," the boy retorted with ease, unshaken by the other's murderous aura as he dodged each and every punch launched at him.

"DO I LOOK SHY TO YOU?" Her cheeks reddened remarkably, but that didn't stop her out-stretched hands from attempting to choke the sadist empty for air.

"Weren't you desperate about becoming a lady? Well, here's your chance."

"That's a different thing-aru! DAMMIT!"

"Oi Sougo, stop fooling around," Hijikata interrupted amidst of all the noise. "We're heading back to the headquarters."

He was in absolutely no way obliged to continue watching from the side-lines to know that this particular fight had the potential to get ugly if he let them be any longer. Then again, with these two as contestants - wouldn't that always be the case?

Embarrassed and slightly disappointed, the blue-eyed alien let go of Sougo with a "Hmf" and stomped all the way back to her cabinet shelf. She crawled into the cupboard and shut the shouji so hard that the slide-door came off. At this, Kagura blushed brightly and tried to put it back in place while everyone watched. She couldn't help but notice how the corner of the sadist's lips curled up into an evil smirk. She had, once again, fallen victim to his teasing – Like she always did. It irritated her so, but there was nothing she could do about it.

No matter how hard the girl tried to fall asleep that night, she didn't succeed…because a certain someone kept occupying her mind. Obviously.

[End of Chapter 1]

A.N.

Even though Kagura's birthday is mentioned, I'm afraid I won't write about it in this fic. I might do it later and post it as a one-shot, who knows. I hope you enjoyed it so far even though it was short. Also… Reviews are love!