Disclaimer: I don't own HIMYM. Really.
A/N: Legend speaks of an unchartered, enchanted island, a place where weary shippers could take shelter from Shipping Wars and the storms of plot twists. While stuck in a tempest on HIMYM Sea, my ship crashed onto this isle. Since then, I have made it habitable and given it a name: Happy Magical Safe Denial Island, or the HMS Denialand. If you care to join me there for a spell, you may. Tourists and new residents are always welcome.
In all seriousness, though, I don't know about you guys, but I needed something cheerful, silly, and shippy after the past couple of episodes that we've had. (And after the latest spoilers that I've seen.) Thus, I present unto you The Awesomemoon.
Chapter One: The Challenge
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Ominous music plays. We see Barney, attired in a white suit and bright red tie, being chased by a herd of angry bulls down a cobblestone street. In his left hand, he holds a furled newspaper.
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Barney ran as fast as his feet could carry him, his arms pumping back and forth frantically.
Then he tripped over a loose stone and fell to his knees.
The stampeding bulls grew closer and closer.
Is this how it all ends? he wondered, and clenched his eyes shut as tightly as he could, awaiting his impending doom.
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"But before we go any further, kids, I should probably start at the beginning of this story. It was the spring of 2013, and your Aunt Robin and Uncle Barney had finally decided on their honeymoon location: Spain."
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At McLaren's Bar:
"Oh my god, you guys, that's so sweet," Marshall said, putting a hand to his heart.
"Where in Spain are you going to go?" Lily asked eagerly. "Madrid? Valencia? Ooh ooh, I know, the Canary Islands!"
Ted shook his head. "Uh, no, Lily, obviously they're going to Barcelona. According to Architecture Today, Barcelona ranks in the top 10 must-see-cities to see in Western Europe. Besides, it has the Casa Batlló and the Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família and the Palau de la Música Catalana and the Basilic de la Mercè and the –"
"OK, cutting Ted off before he gives himself an architectural boner," Robin said amusedly.
Barney smirked and gave Robin a high-five.
"For your information," Barney said, turning back to the other inhabitants of the booth, "No, no, and no. Ted, you may be my best friend and Robin's ex-boyfriend, but you have no insight into how either of our minds work, do you?"
"Dude, I don't think anyone has that kind of insight," Ted returned. "Your mind is a scary place to be."
"Oooh, burn!" Lily whispered to Marshall.
"Scarily awesome, you mean," Barney corrected.
"You should go to Canabria to find the Cuélebre," Marshall said.
"I'm going to regret asking this, but what is the Cuélebre?" Robin asked.
"Ah, Robin, the Cuélebre is the mystical serpentine creature of Northern Spain," Marshall said, his voice taking on a dreamy quality. "They say that it is immortal, that its spit can cure diseases, and that it keeps treasure in its labyrinth of caves. Once a year, though, on Midsummer's Eve, it is possible to make contact with it. And if you come before it with a pure heart and true intentions, it will not harm you."
Frowning skeptically, Robin said, "Right."
"Really, honey, its spit cures diseases?" Lily asked.
"Well, it is said that its spit turns into a stone that is capable of healing almost any illness," Marshall said somewhat defensively. "I don't believe all of the nasty things that people say about the Cuélebre; it's an innocent, beautiful creature."
"Guys," Barney interrupted, "Robin and I are going to… wait for it… drumroll please…"
Everyone waited.
"I said, drumroll please," Barney repeated slightly louder.
They started up a drumroll.
"… Booty Town. Oh, and also to Pamplona."
The drumroll stopped and everyone groaned.
"Where the hell is Pamplona?" Lily snorted.
"Pamplona: the beautiful capital city of Navarre. Located near one of our other awesomemoon destinations, San Sebastian, with its lovely nudie beaches."
"What's in Pamplona?" Marshall asked.
"First of all, it doesn't really matter where we go, 'cause all Robin and I will be seeing for the first couple of days will be the inside of our master suite, what up! Secondly, a fantastic nightlife scene and the totally awesome San Fermín festival."
"Wait… that's the one with the bulls, isn't it?" Ted asked.
"Why yes, Ted, yes it is," Barney said smugly.
"Are you insane?" Lily asked. "Who would want to run for their life from a bunch of angry bulls?"
"Challenge accepted!" Barney said, slamming his hand down on the table. "Ow."
"Liiiiily," Robin groaned. "You just had to say that, didn't you?"
"I'm sorry, Robin," Lily wailed promptly. "I'm such a bad friend! Now you're going to be a widow practically as soon as you become a wife. I'm a terrible, terrible person."
"It's… it's OK, Lily, it was an accident," Robin said, awkwardly patting Lily's hand.
"God! Why do you people even tolerate me?" Lily continued. "All I do is bring misery to your lives."
"Aww, Lilypad, you know that's not true," Marshall comforted.
"Misery!" Lily shrieked. "Misery…"
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"This went on for a bit…"
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10 minutes later:
"Misery! Mis-er-y…!"
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"And a bit longer."
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"So seriously, Barney, you're going to let yourself be chased by bulls?" Ted asked, once Lily had been sufficiently calmed down. "Don't you think that's a little bit… unwise?"
"Unwise, unsafe, un-boring," Barney agreed. "And it's going to be legen – wait for it… wait for it… – dary."
Robin sighed. "Want me to film you?"
"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm marrying this girl," Barney exclaimed.
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[The HIMYM theme music and opening credits begin to play.]
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