I hope this is funny. If it isn't funny, then it'll be extremely boring. Nevermind. I had fun writing it anyway.

Chapter 1

Rusty, dreaming, walked through a forest. He saw a mouse and, dreaming, began to stalk it. Dreaming, he sneaked closer and, dreaming-

"I'm dreaming, they get it," Rusty snapped.

Well sorry! And for you readers, that was sarcastic!

Anyway, he stalked the mouse and pounced, catching it, but a light shined behind him. Distracted, he let the mouse go and padded towards it, his eyes going huge.

"Oooo bright light…" he meowed dreamily.

Behind him, the mouse cried in fear. "Don't go into the light!"

Rusty ignored it. He continued to pad closer to it, but just before he reached it he woke up in his twoleg's twoleg nest [if that makes sense]. He sat up, looking around in desperation.

"Whaaaat? I thought I was rid of this place! If only I could explore the forest, find a Clan of wildcats and join them," Rusty meowed longingly.

He got up and padded outside. Using his trampoline of epicness, he leaped over the really tall fence in one bound. As he put his trampoline of epicness away in an imaginary pocket, he was about to walk in the forest when Smudge padded up to him.

"RUSTY! YOU CAN'T GO TO THE FOREST-"

"Smudge, I'm right next to you," Rusty pointed out in annoyance. Smudge was just so lame, Rusty only spoke to him because there was no other cat in this neighbourhood, apart from an old fatty called Henry and Rusty's sister, Princess, but he wasn't supposed to find her until the next book. Smudge is just so boring and stupid, Rusty thought.

"Oh, sorry," Smudge meowed. "Rusty! You can't go to forest or you'll be hung, drawn, quartered and devoured by badgers, and that's if you avoid the rapid squirrels!"

"Yeah, whatever Smudge," Rusty turned away, but Smudge wasn't finished.

"Oh, yeah, and watch out for the wildcats, they might attack you a bit and then ask you to join their Clan," Smudge warned.

"That's nice Smudge," Rusty padded away, not taking in anything Smudge had just told him.

Away from Smudge, Rusty felt a lot happier. It was a relief to be away from his stalker.

Ahead of him, he saw a fox's tail sticking out of a bush.

"Hm, I wonder what that could be," he thought out loud. "It can't be anything dangerous like a fox, so it should be safe for me to take a look."

He padded towards it, but before he reached it, Greypaw tumbled into him. Rusty shoved Greypaw off him and ran away, crying like a little baby.

Then he thought to himself, This cat is making me look wimpier than a kittypet! I must have revenge!

He turned around just as Greypaw cannoned into him. As they rolled around, Bluestar and Lionheart padded out of the forest and watched unnoticed by Rusty and Greypaw.

"Looks like Gaypaw has finally found true love," Bluestar commented.

"Bluestar… he's called Greypaw…" Lionheart meowed awkwardly.

Bluestar whirled round in surprise. "What? Really? I totally didn't know that! No wonder everyone stared at me when I gave him his apprentice name!"

Greypaw and Rusty, suddenly noticing Bluestar and Lionheart, sat up. Greypaw panics.

"It was all his fault!" he shouted, pointing at Rusty. "I did nothing, I swear!"

"Gayp- I mean, Greypaw, we know nothing happened, my pet parrot told me," Bluestar told him matter-of-factly.

A parrot poked its head down from the trees. "Ya! Bluestah told meh!" It flew away.

"Exactly, I… oh…" Greypaw trailed off in embarrassment.

Bluestar turned to Rusty. "Hey, wanna join our Clan?"

"Er, what?" Rusty meowed.

"You know, ThunderClan, that group of cats that lives in forest and you never notice it because you're never here but that's completely irrelevant to this conversation but I still felt I had to tell you and where were we? Oh yeah, do you wanna join ThunderClan we need more apprentices so that we can get enough food but that's stupid because at one point in the second series we only have one apprentice and we didn't need to take in kittypets to survive but I suppose that's just what happens and where was I? Oh yes, we need you so we don't go hungry," Bluestar meowed without taking a breath.

"Woah, that must take skill," said a random bush, which is strange because bushes don't normally talk.

"Surely there's enough food for everyone?" Rusty muttered, ignoring the random bush.

Bluestar suddenly turned into a devil, her eyes balls of fire. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

Rusty looked as if he might wet the soil and help the environment. "Uh, n-nothing…" he meowed.

Bluestar returned to normal. "Good. Wanna join our Clan?"

"I'll think about it," Rusty replied.

Lionheart rolled his eyes. "A minute ago you were told the readers how much you hated the twoleg place, and now you say you'll think about it when we offer you a way out."

Rusty cried. "BUT THEN I WON'T GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO SMUDGE! Oh wait, that's a good thing…"

Lionheart, apparently the only sane cat there, face-pawed himself at this.

"Let's go," Bluestar meowed, ignoring Rusty's random spasm, and they padded to camp.

Is that OK? Please R&R!