Mr. Darcy.

If Mr. Darcy had been told, on the night of the Meryton Assembly, that in the course of a year he would meet, insult, fall in love with and marry a poor country Miss, what would he say?

"Excuse me? A country Miss? And who are you to say this? There is nobody here who I can confess to liking! The most attractive face is that Miss Bennet, and I can assure you that I would never fall in love with such a girl! She smiles far too much! And she has such an appearance of… emptiness about her! In all the evening, I have not seen a good and true emotion pass across her face!

I have put this as a one shot, but only because does not allow four way cross-overs, and my ideas so far are:

If you had told Mr. Rochester that he would fall in love with an elf.

If you had told Colin Singleton that he would date somebody not called Katherine.

If you had told Ron Weasley that he would marry Hermione Granger. (I'm Hermione Granger, who are you?/Your future husband.)