Dean sat on the worn sofa, his grip on the phone's receiver getting tighter and tighter while the all too familiar music of A Charlie Brown's Christmas filtered out through the battered televisions warped speakers.
"But, you promised," he harshly whispered into the phone, "Tonight's Christmas Eve and we haven't even done any shopping yet." He wiped his hand over his tired face and his weary green eyes looked over to where his twelve year old brother lay laughing at the Christmas special. Dean prayed that Sam wasn't hearing any of this conversation.
"Yeah, dad, I know," he hissed flinching at the reproach that came over the telephone line. Throwing caution and his need for survival away he kept on when his father had finished.
"No, but, you promised. I know that you have a job to do, but it seems like ever since Sam found out what you do you've stopped trying. Yeah, sure, no Christmas has ever been the typical Normal Rockwell kind, but geez dad, can't you even try?"
Dean once again looked at Sam and felt his heart tighten in his chest. They were almost out of money and with the rent coming due and groceries needing to be bought he knew there wasn't going to be enough money for a decent meal let alone a tree or any kind of presents.
"Yes, sir I understand," he answered because even though he didn't, he knew that's what his dad wanted to hear, "Yeah, we'll be packed and ready to go when you get back. Nope, no need to worry; got it covered. Ok, well, see you next week."
"He's not coming," Sam's small voice asked from beside his older brother, startling him.
Dean looked into his little brother's hazel eyes and he saw his own pain reflected in them. "No, Sam, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well not like I really expected him to. I guess, I was just hoping this once he would choose us over people he doesn't even know," Sam said. With a shrug of his shoulders he went back and sat in front of the television.
"Hey, Sam," Dean said as he stepped over to where his brother sat, "What you say about you and me heading off to town? There's a snow carnival going on. I think their making ice sculptures in the town square. Maybe we could stop off at the diner and get some cocoa or something. It could be fun." Dean no longer needed to worry so much about money since they would be leaving before the rent came due again, he figured he could use that money and give Sam something akin to a real Christmas.
"Nah, I'm good. Don't really feel like doing much. Besides, do we even have the money for that?"
The jaded edge to Sam's voice cut Dean to the quick. He did everything he could to protect his little brother from the day to day worries that plagued their family; apparently he wasn't doing a good enough job. If he had believed in Santa Claus or even a higher power he would have asked for one Christmas wish, for Sam to be spared this life, but unfortunately he didn't and he left this wish locked away with all the other wishes and dreams he knew would never come true.
"Actually, we do have enough money," Dean said trying to keep his voice light, "Dad said that he's coming back next week, before rent is due, we can use that money. C'mon, Sammy, what ya say? Let's go have some fun."
"Yeah, sure Dean, whatever you say. Got one question for you, though," Sam stood up and put his hands on hips, "What's dad going to do when he finds out you used that money instead of saved it."
"Let me worry about dad, Sam," Dean answered, "We deserve this. C'mon, what ya say….please?"
"Fine, all right, as long as you're dealing with dad. Jerk," Sam replied back as he grabbed his coat and shoes.
"Whatever, Grinch," Dean said smiling, all the while he was thinking 'Please, for tonight, just be a kid like you used to be before you found out about everything. Please, Sammy, please.'
The melodic ring of Sam's laughter reached Dean's ears and for a brief moment he allowed the light of the world to chase away the darkness. He sat on the park bench and watched Sam as he took part in the town's annual snowball fight. He watched as Sam helped some smaller kids make a snowman and he felt his pride grow when his younger brother overcame his embarrassment and helped a young girl brave the task of sitting on Santa's lap.
As the evening glided on they stood with the rest of the crowd and watched the lighting of the town's Christmas tree. They sang Christmas with the group and joined them at the community center for hot cocoa and cookies. They both were really enjoying themselves, Dean was happy that he decided to do this for Sam.
They stopped off at one of the Christmas tree lots and picked up a small tree. Sam laughed at how much it resembled the one Charlie Brown had picked out for the Christmas pageant. They went to one of the last stores that was still opened and split up so they could buy each other one small gift.
After they had picked up their gifts both boys headed off to the diner and sat down for a Christmas Eve meal. Dean ordered the ham special while Sam ordered the turkey. The elderly waitress had taken a liking to the two boys and she decided to through in some gingerbread cake topped with whipped cream as a special treat.
With their bellies full and spirits high the brothers headed back to the tiny apartment they had been calling home for the last month and a half. They set the tree up in a corner, threw some tinsel and homemade ornaments, along with a set of lights Dean had picked up, on it and then they settled in to watch the rest of a Christmas Story before heading off to bed.
The brothers had finished brushing their teeth and Dean had returned from checking the salt lines when he felt his brother's arms wrap around his waist. Dean looked down and found himself staring into his brothers hazel eyes. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes when Sam's small voice spoke out, full of love and admiration. "Thank you, Dean," Sam said, "This was the best Christmas Eve ever." Sam looked at the clock and realized it was past midnight, "Merry Christmas, Dean. I love you."
Dean choked on the tears of happiness he felt developing, "Merry Christmas, Sammy. I love you too."