Chapter One: Pink
They say I'm a monster. Oh, that Pinkie Pie, who 'slaughtered' Rainbow Dash. First of all, I didn't 'slaughter' Dashie. She and I had a wonderful party with 'laughter'. Well, until Applejack decided to crash our party. She ran right up to me, without saying howdy-do, and bucked me hard on my head. Then it went all dark.
Then I remembered I was on a hill. It was a cool night, the sky was sprinkled with stars. Then it began to rain a bit, a short drizzle. I sat, unable to move, in a pool of water.
When I woke up I saw that I was tied up in a silly suit that made me look like a pink little wormy. This was not Sugarcube Corner. I looked around and saw that the walls were pure white. At first I just bounced off of the squishy walls and giggled to myself, "What a nice prank, AJ!"
Applejack wasn't there. Nopony was.
My heart started to race; where did everypony go? I then heard a knocking noise behind me - Oh! A door! I ran up and looked out through the tiny window on the door. My friends! Twilight, Rarity, AJ, and Fluttershy came to save me!
"Hey everypony!" I said, smiling.
They didn't smile back. What...? Was something wrong?
"Turn those frowns upside down!" I said, as I tried to flip around.
They still didn't smile. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
Then, Applejack, with her hat pulled down, said the words I would never forget, "You monster, I'll never forgive you."
My smile instantly vanished, "AJ... What are you talking about? Are you jealous that Dashie and I had a party without you? I swear that I was going to invite you to the next one!"
I don't think Applejack believed me, because she turned around and left. My friends followed AJ.
"Wait. Wait! Get me out of here!"
That was when I cried for the first time since I left that ol' Rock Farm. They didn't even look back. I loved my friends, I mean, they mean the world to me. I can't ever imagi...
"They left you, Pinkie. Let them go."
That night, I slept in the corner of my new home. I wept.
I was informed the next day of the reason for my detainment. Doctor Animus, who would later make a wonderfully fluffy fedora, told me of my so called crime.
"You have tortured and murdered 52 ponies from all over Equestria since last year, Pinkamina," said the Doctor coldly.
"Torture? Murder? I only party with everyone, silly filly."
The Doctor took off his glasses and sighed.
"Pinkamina, Celestia has sentenced you to 1337 years to Southhoof Detainment Center. You will spent the rest of your days here."
I was shocked. "No. No. NO! I didn't do anything wrong!" I thrashed against the walls desperately trying to escape. The Doctor gave a sharp whistle, and after that everything started to get blurry. The last thing I saw was two ponies dressed in white, one holding me down and the other pressing something onto the side of my flank.
Days passed. Weeks passed. Months passed. As time passed in that cell, I lost the perception of myself. What was I? Who am I? I questioned myself, "Am I a monster?" That voice in my head would say "No, Pinkie, those ponies just can't party right!" After four years of being confined, trapped in the cell and in my mind, I decided to escape. Anywhere but here. That voice helped me. It always had.
It was three weeks later when I decided to put my master plan to action. Everyday a guards pony would open the door and bring in hay and oats at exactly 9:00 in the morning and again at 7:00 at night. I decided to take advantage of the later shift, as the less motivated guards were on duty at that time.
At 7:00, the guards pony came in. What surprised him was that I wasn't there! Well, he couldn't see me anyways; I was hiding right next to the door! He ran into my cell trying to figure out where I was.
He turned around.
Surprise!
As I knocked him out with my hoof, I gave a smile and said, "Hide-and-Seek!" You should always smile at strangers, maybe you will become friends and party together.
Anyways, it was too bad I couldn't play with him any longer, or the other ponies would come and make me play 'Nap Time'. That's not even a game!
I decided to only have a quick party with him. I took a blunt knife, more like a spoon, from the tray he had carried in and began to make my art. I made art all over those white walls; they were canvas for my mind that ached to release all the emotions bottled up for the last years.
I stepped back and saw the red against the white. And it was all beautiful. "It's a miracle, isn't it? It's all so beautiful." I said to the now deceased pony.
Before I decided to abscond, I tore off a large chunk of flesh off of the corpse and devoured it. Oh, royal ponies do have such a rich flavor!
My plan, initially, was simple, really. I did get distracted along the way, however. After I partied with the guards pony, I ran into another one! I played 'Pin the tail on the Pony' with him. Guess what? I'm terrible at that game! I missed so many times, but he let me try again and again.
And then there was 'Freeze Tag' with the prison chef. He was standing in the meat locker when I saw him. I closed the door, turned the thermostat to flash freeze, closed my eyes, and then counted slowly to 50. Okie-Doki-Loki! I turned around and opened the door and found him real fast. He was real chill about the game; I guess he's a pretty cool pony!
The last one I played with was super lucky. It was that nice little pony who worked the laundry in the basement. I gave him a tight hug from the back. You would have never guessed how many socks I had to use to make sure that he couldn't scream (out of joy!). We played a staring contest. He lost really quick. Maybe it was those chemicals I poured into his mouth. Bleach, was it? He kept crying on about his little filly at home and how much he 'loves' her; I don't get it. But don't worry! There will be no tears at my parties! To make him feel better, I personally gave him face time with my party cannon!
Parties have to end, eventually. Well, this one did. How boring, I mean, prisons. I wanted to go somewhere REALLY fun. And so, I set my sights up north, that's where Ponyville is! I guess the partying isn't over just yet!
I was happy. So very happy. And I wasn't going to stop being happy.