"Lily, you're joking."

"Am I?"

"You are not—"

"Exactly," Lily said triumphantly. "I am not joking."

"You are not," Albus repeated, "getting this chocolate frog."

"Because you didn't have the last fifty?" Lily inquired.

"Because it's my chocolate frog."

"Are you five?" said Lily. "Honestly, Al—"

"You can have the card," he tried.

"No, you can have the card. I'll have the chocolate."

"If the card is Dad, then you get the chocolate. And as my gift to you, you can also have the card. If it's not, I get the chocolate. And because it's the giving season, you can still have the card."

"It's a deal if you're keeping the card."

"No, there has to be some sort of consolation prize if I lose. There's no way I'm getting another one of his. He's boring."

"Fine."

Albus hastily unwrapped the chocolate frog. A face that looked extraordinarily like his own looked back at him, a slightly uncomfortable smile on his face.

Lily laughed in a slightly mad way, and snatched the frog and the card from her brother's hands. "Merry Christmas, Al," she said, grinning.

"No way," Albus said in disbelief, staring at the card. "I mean, I know you take Divination and all, but—"

Still grinning, she took another bite of the chocolate frog. "Let's have a nice reading while I enjoy this absolutely delicious chocolate frog, shall we? Oh, look!" she said in mock surprise, turning over the card in her hand. "There's some excellent material right here, it seems."

"Merlin, no."

"Oh, come on. These are hilarious. Listen to this—"

It was, to be fair, kind of funny. After all, the card did kind of talk about Dad like he was some kind of saint.

As she finished her chocolate frog, smacking her lips theatrically, Lily gave one last smirk and said, "The rubbish card didn't spoil the chocolate."

"If I get any from the rest of your family, you aren't getting any."

"Unless it's Dad?"

"Only if you frame it."

"Deal," she said. "Maybe I can give it to Uncle Ron. Then he'll have the whole set, won't he?"

AN: So this is not a) heavy on the Christmassy theme or b) at all what I was planning to write. But I really enjoyed writing it. Because I adore my version of Al. He's quite sweet until someone messes with his chocolate. And Lily's fun as well. Thanks very much for reading. And, of course, merry Christmas.