Stardate 49920.9

New Earth

The warm water felt heavenly as it surrounded her body, lapping at the curve between her breasts, running in droplets down her arms. Steam rose from the heat of the water, dissipating into the cool evening air, and Kathryn Janeway lay her head back and looked up at the stars. She had always loved to look at the stars, ever since childhood, and since she had been stranded on this planet, her love of stargazing had only grown. Once in a while, like tonight, she would feel a lump in her throat as she gazed up at the twinkling, white lights that now seemed so far away. She closed her eyes, but she couldn't help the sting of tears that she felt. Somewhere, out there, among those stars, was a ship that she would never see again, and a group of people whom she loved dearly. She hadn't realized how much she loved them until they were gone.

The sound of footsteps in the brush behind her brought her back to the present moment as a soft voice called, "Kathryn?"

She swallowed, pushing her emotions down and answered, "Yes."

She could almost hear the smile on his face when he replied, "I just wanted to make sure you hadn't fallen asleep in the tub."

"Oh, no. I'm just enjoying the hot water. Even in this weather, the water stays hot. This was a wonderful gift, Chakotay." In the three months that they had been on New Earth, the weather had cooled significantly, and they could tell that there was at least some semblance of a seasonal change on the planet.

"I'm glad you like it," Chakotay replied. "And I'm glad you didn't fall asleep. I'd get really bored if you drowned," he joked.

"Mmhmm." Usually, she would have some barb to throw back at him, but right now, she was too immersed her bath to respond to his teasing. "I'll be inside in a few minutes," she said.

"No need to hurry on my account." She heard the footsteps retreat back into the house.

She didn't hurry. She sponged more of the deliciously warm water over her shoulders and her neck, feeling her tension slowly melt away as the water trickled over her collar bone and down her upper back. She and Chakotay had spent the past couple of days exploring the river in the boat that he had built, and it had been both a fun adventure and physically exhausting. They had discovered that the terrain of New Earth was almost as varied as Earth itself, with foothills that led to a mountain range to the east and a vast forest to the west. She longed to see what lay beyond the area they could reach on foot or by boat. Perhaps someday they would be able to realign the shuttle's atmospheric controls so that they could travel within the planet's atmosphere. She shook her head ruefully at herself as she drained the tub and wrapped herself in a warm towel. Adjusting to life here hadn't been easy for her, and there were still nights, like tonight, when all she wanted was to be back in the captain's chair of a starship. Yet, all in all, life with Chakotay on New Earth wasn't so bad.

He had kept his promise; he did everything he could to make her burden lighter and to make her life easier here. She had tried her best to let go of the life that she now knew she would never have; to embrace what they had here, and live this life to its fullest. It wasn't the life she would have imagined or chosen for herself, but it was the life she had, and she'd be damned if she was going to waste one day of it. So she threw herself into her gardening. She created detailed maps of the areas they explored. Chakotay teased her, asking her who was ever going to use those maps. She told him that maybe someday they would use them; or maybe someday they would have visitors who would want them. While she set her mind to any scientific inquiry she could perform without extensive research equipment, Chakotay built things. He had built the bathtub and the boat, and she knew that he was working on some new secret project. She was already bursting with anticipation, wanting to know what it was. She pulled the towel tight around her. The night air was chilly, and the temperature was dropping fast, so she hurried to the shelter. When she reached the doorway, she entered quietly, so as not to disturb Chakotay's concentration. He was leaning over something, and obviously working very hard on it. For a moment, she stood in the doorway, silently watching him.

For three months, he had been her only companion... Well, unless she could count the primates who sometimes ventured up to their doorstep. But, instead of growing tired of each other, she and Chakotay only seemed to grow closer with each passing day. He never pushed her to accept something she wasn't ready to accept, and he never joked when he saw her gazing longingly at the stars. Instead, he'd put an arm around her shoulders and draw her close to him in those moments when she thought the despair of losing her crew would overwhelm her. They never spoke of it; they didn't need to. He cooked dinner for them almost every night, and was constantly inventing new recipes for her to try. She had easily adapted to his vegetarian way of life, and each time that she enjoyed one of his new dishes, a twinkle in his eye symbolized how much her enjoyment gratified him. In the evenings, they would often sit together at the table, each working on their own projects, and sharing things with the other or exchanging ideas. Kathryn often did mathematical puzzles while Chakotay worked on his sand art, or a carving of some kind. Their relationship was comfortable. They hadn't had a discussion about "parameters" since the night he'd told her the legend of the angry warrior, a story which she kept close to her heart and not far from the forefront of her mind. In her own thoughts, she had begun to acknowledge the attraction between them that has always been present, but she was in no hurry to push their relationship to a new level. She knew that it would happen. They both did. And sometimes, the anticipation was palpable.

When he looked up from his work and met her eyes, her breath caught in her throat. This was one of those moments when the electricity between them ran strong. She saw his eyes moving over her body, to the curve of her shoulders, and the protrusion of her collar bone. His gaze moved downward, over the towel that she still held around her, down her legs, and then back up to her eyes again. "How was your bath?" he asked, his voice husky.

She cleared her throat before replying, "It was lovely, thank you." She broke his gaze and hurried past him into the safety of her bedroom, where she changed into her nightgown and robe. She sat down on her bed, lost in thought. These moments between them had grown more and more frequent. She knew that she no longer had protocol as an excuse. Voyager was not coming back for them. Even if Tuvok had disobeyed her orders and contacted the Vidiians, they would have been back long before now. And Chakotay was right; they couldn't waste the present waiting for a future that might never happen. She shook her head, admonishing herself. Kathryn Janeway,you can command a starship in battle; you can defeat the Kazon and the Vidiians. You can face all kinds of spatial anomalies. You can be responsible for the lives of a hundred and fifty people. But you can't face up to your own feelings?

There were so many unknowns. What if things didn't work out? They were stranded here alone, and neither one of them could leave. What if, by some miracle, Voyager did return for them, but they had already become involved. What would they do? She couldn't completely give up on that idea, as unlikely as it might be. What if one of them died before the other? It would be bad enough the way it was, to lose her best friend... but to lose yet another lover? She wasn't sure that she could take that. At the same time, Chakotay's words about sacrificing the present for a future that may never happen continued to haunt her. She knew that he was right. She was here, now, with him, and if she continued to push away her feelings, it wouldn't be fair to either of them. He had been so patient with her. She didn't deserve that.

She saw a droplet fall on the soft blue fabric of her robe. At first she thought that her hair was still dripping from the bath, but then she realized that it was a tear. She reached up and wiped her cheeks, swallowing hard and forcing her emotions down. She didn't even know why she was crying. She shook her head again and fluffed up the pillows on her bed, regaining her composure completely before venturing out into the living area.

Chakotay looked up when he heard her emerge. She caught his eyes studying her, but she smiled in an effort to push aside any concerns he might have. "What are you working on?" she asked, circling around behind him.

He was surprised to feel her hands on his shoulders as she came up behind him, and he couldn't help drawing in a breath when he felt the unexpected contact. He had started to wonder if Kathryn was ever going to acknowledge where their relationship so clearly was headed. He turned his computer screen away from her and turned to look up at her, smiling. "Are you sure you're ready to see it?"

She raised her eyebrow. "Another surprise?"

He shrugged. "Sort of. But this one needs your approval."

She moved to sit down next to him. "Now I'm really curious. You know how much I like to be asked for my opinion."

He chuckled. "Remember how I told you I was thinking of adding some rooms to the shelter?" She nodded, her eyes widening. "Well, here's a thought... at least to start out." He turned his screen towards her, anxiously watching her reaction. Janeway studied the plans carefully. Chakotay wanted to start small; only adding one or two rooms at first. She saw how the rooms could be built onto the existing shelter, but how more rooms could easily be added later. "I thought maybe we could each use our own work space," he said slowly. "I could work in here, and the new room could be your office... unless you prefer the opposite?"

"No, no, that would be fine, Chakotay." Her voice was barely audible and he glanced up with concern, but she didn't look upset. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears as she stared at the plans on the screen, but her face looked serene and the corners of her mouth were turned up in a small smile.

"I also think it's about time we had a real kitchen, with a wood burning stove and a big kitchen table. I think I could make a couple of big, comfortable chairs, and the stove could double as a fireplace for the time being. I know that you like to sit and read; I think it would be a comfortable place for you to do that." She looked up at him and put up her hand. He laced his fingers through hers in the now familiar gesture, his thumb stroking the back of her hand. He couldn't quite read the expression on her face. "What is it?" he asked quietly. "Do you like the idea?"

"It's beautiful, Chakotay. And very thoughtful. Like always. When do you plan to start?"

"Well, with your permission, I'd like to start right away. It's starting to get colder already, and we don't know what the winters are like here. I think it would be good to have a non-artificial heat source just in case."

She sat up straight, slipping back into a slightly more business-like mode, but without removing her hand from his. "Agreed. This seems like a big project; maybe you'd like some assistance."

"I don't think I can hire the monkey to help me," he joked.

She chuckled and then admonished him, "I was thinking of myself, Chakotay. The garden won't need much work when it gets cold."

His expression softened, and his thumb continued to move back and forth across the back of her hand. "I'd like that very much."

"Good." She squeezed his hand and then broke the contact, turning to her own computer screen as he turned back to his work, but she found it hard to focus and eventually stood and walked over to the window to look up at the stars.

Chakotay watched her from his place at the table. He could not deny that this beautiful, complicated, headstrong woman had taken up residence in his heart. While he, too, was sad that he would never see Earth again, and, even more so, that he would never see his friends and family again, he recognized that this exile on New Earth afforded him the opportunity to explore something that would have been denied him on Voyager. Since the moment that they met, he and Kathryn had been drawn together, and their bond had congealed into a close friendship. He had often wondered if it might become more than that, but he knew without a doubt that as long as concerns about the welfare of her crew and Starfleet protocols stood in the way, Kathryn Janeway would never allow herself to become embroiled in a relationship with someone under her command. He wondered, even if they were in the Delta Quadrant for the rest of their lives, if she would ever have broken the rules she had set for herself while they were on Voyager. But here, there were no rules. There was no protocol. There was only him and her. He knew that she was still hesitant, and afraid, although he wasn't quite sure why. He had given her time, understanding and support, and he would continue to do so. He knew that whenever things progressed between them, it would have to be because they were both certain that that was the direction they wished to take. He couldn't push her. As he watched her head tilt upward slightly, he knew that she was gazing at the stars. He could not see her face, but he could imagine the longing in her eyes as she gazed out at the endless expanse that had once been their home.

Quietly, he stood from his chair and walked up behind her, placing his arms on her shoulders. "What are you thinking?" he asked softly.

She brought one of her hands up to cover his. "I was just wondering where our crew is. What kinds of adventures they're having. I was thinking that somewhere, out in that sky, is a star that is Earth, and that my mom and Phoebe are there." Her voice caught in her throat. "I was thinking that I'll never see them again and they probably won't ever know what happened to me." Her shoulders shook with a sob, and he tightened his grip on her, giving her support. "But then, I was also thinking earlier that we have a good life here. I was thinking about how much you've done to make my life easier and better. I was thinking about how patient you've been." Her whole body convulsed in a sob and she let go of his hand, leaning forward onto the window sill for support.

He pulled her back from the window, holding her back against him, wrapping his arms around her. He lowered his mouth so that it was right next to her ear and he whispered, "Shhh, Kathryn. It's all right. I'll always do whatever I can to make your life easier. Always. And Voyager will get home someday, even if we're not with them. Your mother and your sister will find out what happened to you. You've never given up before. Maybe someday you will see them again. Maybe we'll find a way of communicating. You don't ever know what will happen. What would you tell any member of our crew if they felt the way you do now? You'd tell them to keep fighting. You'd tell them not to give up hope."

Janeway's sobs subsided, and Chakotay felt her still in his arms. She broke from his embrace, turning to face him, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "How do I keep fighting and also embrace the life that we have here?" she asked.

This was not what he expected her to say and he studied her for a long time before replying. When he spoke, he chose his words carefully. "Holding onto the hope that someday your mother will know what happened to you doesn't mean that you can't live life to the fullest here. What kind of life would your mother and Phoebe want for you? They wouldn't want you to hold yourself back from... from anything... because you're spending time thinking about them."

Kathryn nodded slowly and moved her hand up to caress his cheek. "Sometimes, for me, I feel like it has to be one or the other."

"It doesn't. I remember my grandfather telling me when I was young that we always have to honor our suffering. He did that by never denying its reality, by allowing it to be a part of him. But for all the suffering that he went through, it never consumed him or dictated his life. He was still able to be happy and enjoy all that he had."

She smiled, dropping her hands down to her sides. "Thank you."

He returned the smile. "You're welcome."

He took a step away from her, ready to return to his work at the table, but she stopped him, her hand on his arm. "Chakotay."

He turned back to face her, feeling the gentle pressure of her hand on his forearm as he did so. "Kathryn?" he asked softly.

"I meant it when I said that I appreciate all you've done for me, especially your patience. I just wasn't ready to let go. I realize... I mean... I know that you've been waiting for me."

Chakotay stood, his feet frozen on the floor. He felt as though he could not speak or move. He wondered if this was real, or a dream, and held his breath as he waited for her next words.

"I can't say that I'm sure, or that I'm not afraid," she continued. "I'm hesitant to say anything, but it's not fair to either of us if I deny the way I really feel."

"How do you really feel, Kathryn?" His voice was soft, but bold; quiet, but strong.

She swallowed before continuing, but when she looked up into his eyes she found the strength and understanding she needed. She looked down and took both of his hands in hers. "I care about you a great deal," she said, slowly meeting his gaze, "in a way that can't be defined... by any parameters."

Slowly, his eyes never once leaving hers, Chakotay dropped one of Kathryn's hands and allowed his arm to snake around her waist, drawing her into him. Once the full lengths of their bodies were touching, he dropped her other hand and brought his hand up behind her head, to tangle in her hair. Her arms went around his shoulders as he gently but insistently lowered his face to hers. Kathryn felt the light pressure of his hand in her hair and the possessive support of his other hand on her lower back. As his lips met hers, she felt nothing except the length of his body pressed against her, and the pressure of his lips. He tasted of spice, and his tongue was soft and insistent, finding its way into her mouth. She gasped at the intensity of the kiss, and felt her knees weakening, but he held her steady. When he broke away, they were both breathless, their arms still around each other. They stood for a moment, foreheads touching, feeling each other's heavy breathing, and then, they raised their eyes and looked at each other, smiling.

...

Stardate 50431.2

The sun shone in bright streaks through the curtains, creating a striped pattern across the room. Kathryn squinted as one of the stripes hit her in the face. She turned away from the sunlight and towards the man who lay next to her, wrapping one arm over his midsection and bringing her face close to his, so she could feel the warmth of his breath. Without opening his eyes, he sensed her movement and wrapped one arm around her, pulling her close. Still mostly asleep, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a soft kiss before slipping back into oblivion.

Kathryn, on the other hand, could not fall back asleep. Much as she relished the sensation of lying in Chakotay's arms, she knew that she was too awake now to fall back to sleep. Pulling away from him slightly, she opened her eyes and studied his serene and peaceful expression as he slept. Gently, she moved her lips over his tattoo, down his cheek, to the hollow of his neck, feathering his skin with kisses. Her goal was neither to wake him or arouse him; simply to express the simple yet deep affection she had come to feel for this man.

Their exile had continued for just under a year now, and since the night of their first kiss, their romance had progressed slowly but surely. They had finished constructing the two rooms that Chakotay had planned, so she now had an office and he had a real kitchen in which to cook their meals. They had consolidated their two sleeping alcoves into one larger bedroom, and Chakotay had built a single, large bed frame, on which they now lay. Building a real bedroom was their next project, and now that the weather was warm again, it seemed like a good time to start working on it. There were still nights when Kathryn felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the stars, but those nights were fewer now. She was occupied with their home, her garden, their life. She had learned that not only gardening, but building and performing the other menial tasks that were necessary around the house were strangely fulfilling to her. There was something incredibly freeing about having no one under her command; about being free to choose her own missions and goals. Chakotay had served as a constant example in that, being naturally much more comfortable in this type of environment than she was.

In a relatively short amount of time, their relationship had reached a depth that Kathryn had never experienced before. She had been surprised each time she had realized that they crossed a new barrier, but when she looked back, it all seemed perfectly natural. In many ways, it seemed as if this was the only possible conclusion to the relationship that had begun the moment she'd first seen him on Voyager's view screen. She had come to cherish every morning that she woke up next to him in bed; their winter evenings sitting curled up by the wood stove; the quiet nights when each of them were occupied with their own projects, but still enjoyed each others' silent companionship. She had always valued his counsel, advice and opinions, but now she had also come to value the depth of his feelings, the extent of his spirituality, the way that he saw the world - her, especially. It had been a long time since she had taken sheer joy in the way that a man looked at her, or felt such simple pleasure at the sight of another human being. The romantic, passionate side of herself had been something she'd had to quell on Voyager, but here, on New Earth, she could allow herself to fully explore her feelings and desires.

"Can't fall back asleep?" Chakotay's question snapped her back to the present moment. Her gaze had drifted to the ceiling and she hadn't realized he had been watching her. She turned and met his eyes, their faces almost touching.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked.

He smiled. "Only a minute. I like watching you think."

She kissed him, her lips meeting his gently at first, then more urgently. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and snaked her hand around the back of his head, pulling him into her. She could feel his surprise at the gesture, because it took him a moment to respond in kind, pulling her body closer to his and letting his tongue tangle with hers. He returned her passion and she could feel him growing aroused against her. But rather than let passion overwhelm him, he broke the kiss and said breathlessly, "Those must have been some thoughts you were having."

She ran her hand down his cheek, looking at him with a serious expression on her face. "I was thinking about how freeing it is to be here with you... and how happy I am."

His eyes widened at her words. Of all the things she might say to him, these were the words he had been certain he would never hear. He had no words to offer in return, only the feeling of his love for her rising in his chest, become a fire that she could see in his eyes. As she looked at him, she could see all the words that he did not say written plainly across his face. His eyes looked at her with a fiery passion that made her tremble with its strength. He had no words, but he knew exactly how to express his feelings. He pulled her to him and covered her mouth with a passionate kiss.

When they finally emerged from the bedroom, blissfully sated, Kathryn had her coffee while Chakotay made breakfast. She opened the door, testing the temperature, and discovered it was truly warm outside for the first time in months. She raised her face, letting the sun warm her, and she smiled, eyes closed, at no one in particular. Suddenly she felt strong arms encircling her from behind, and a mouth on the base of her neck. She relaxed back into the embrace. Most of their mornings were not this lazy, but every once in a while they treated themselves to a lazy start. "Breakfast is ready," he whispered in her ear.

Over breakfast, they discussed their plans for the day and the bedroom, which was next on the list for construction. Kathryn had a new idea about how to reconfigure the shuttle to use it on the planet, and she hoped to get started on it after she did her daily maintenance in the garden. Chakotay was ready to start gathering the supplies he needed to build the latest addition to their home.

It was early afternoon, and Kathryn was in the garden when she thought she heard something from inside of the house. "Chakotay!" she called, knowing he wasn't too far. "Chakotay!" It sounded like static.

Chakotay came running a moment later. "Are you all right?" he asked, out of breath.

"I'm fine. Do you hear that?" They both stood completely still and listened. The sound came again.

"It sounds like static," he said.

"That's what I thought. It sounds like it's coming from inside." Cautiously, they made their way towards the house. Kathryn didn't know how anyone could have gotten inside without them noticing. When the static came again, it sounded like it contained a message and Kathryn whirled to Chakotay, meeting his eyes. "Our communicators!" she exclaimed. At this, they broke into a run toward the shelf in the old shelter where their comm badges sat. Kathryn could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"This is Lieutenant Tuvok to Captain Janeway or Commander Chakotay. Do you read me?"

Janeway's hand was shaking as she reached out to tap her comm badge. "We're here, Tuvok. We read you." She did not turn back to look at Chakotay.

"Captain, Commander, I trust that you are well."

"We're in the same condition as when you left us, Tuvok. Is everything all right?"

"We have managed to find a cure for your disease, Captain. We will be at your coordinates in approximately two hours."

"Very well, Lieutenant. We look forward to seeing you."

"I will contact you again when we reach orbit. Tuvok out."

Janeway stood, without moving, stunned. After nearly a year Voyager had returned for them. How many months had they added to the crew's journey as a result? Without realizing that she was doing so, Kathryn began to pace.

A hand reached out and touched her arm. "Hey." She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to Chakotay, looking at him as if she had forgotten his presence. He was sitting in his chair; the one where he sat at night working on sand paintings and carvings and designs for new rooms for their house. When he saw her eyes, saw her already trying to put distance between them, he stood and took her by the shoulders. "Kathryn."

"Chakotay." Her voice broke, and she looked at the floor. Of all the situations that could have arisen, this was the one she wasn't sure how to handle.

He bent down, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Whatever happens, we'll face it together, ok?"

She raised her head, meeting his eyes with her best command face. "We better start packing," she said, and turned away from him.

Kathryn retreated to the privacy of her office, beginning to dismantle it and pack the important things into the storage containers that Voyager had beamed down. They would have to replicate a few new ones, since their possessions had certainly grown over the past ten months. Her thoughts were reeling. The peace and the freedom that she had come to relish and enjoy was at an end. If what Tuvok said was true, and they had found a cure, she and Chakotay would return to Voyager and to their positions as captain and first officer. She had always believed that this would make a relationship between them inadvisable at best. But here they were. She tried to imagine telling him that they had to go back to the days of their close friendship, and to leave everything they had shared on New Earth behind. She tried to figure out what she could say to make him understand. But she knew that it was not about what she would say to him, but how she could justify it to herself.

Over the past ten months, she had learned to acknowledge and express her feelings for this man. She had come to trust him in a deep and honest way. They shared an intimacy that she had rarely, if ever, experienced. On Voyager, she had seen the potential for this, but had known it was something they could never explore as long as they were in the Delta Quadrant. Now that they had gone down that path, was it possible to go back? Would she be able to see him every day; to touch his arm and sit across from him in her ready room; to lean over conspiratorially and gossip on the bridge; to resume their weekly "business" dinners, and forget about the life they had shared together? She clenched her jaw. I probably could do it, she thought. But how could I ask him to do the same? As the depth of her feelings for him had grown, she had seen the true depth of his feelings for her. The angry warrior legend he had told her in their first few weeks here was just the tip of the iceberg. Chakotay loved her with a passion, an honesty and a depth that she wasn't sure she had ever experienced. He was unwavering in his devotion, yet never afraid to challenge her. When she had thought she would never be able to give her heart to anyone, he had gradually stolen it from her, but only because she knew that it would be safe with him, always. She felt tears sting the back of her eyelids and pushed them down.

That was how Chakotay found her, an hour later, when he finally decided it was safe to venture upstairs. He stood in the doorway, watching Kathryn's self-control as she carefully placed the last of her office in a storage container. He wished that she would scream, or cry, or throw something. But that was not his Kathryn. She was the epitome of self-control - captain to the last, her own feelings so easily buried under layers of protocol, of righteousness, of pride. "I've packed up most of the kitchen supplies that we'll take back with us. I figure some things can stay here," he said.

She looked up at him, her grey-blue eyes as hard as steel. "Thank you," she said, pausing before continuing. "Chakotay, we need to talk about this."

He sat down on a crate. "Okay." Inwardly, she marveled at his calm. For all he knew, she might be about to end their relationship, and yet, he was sitting in front of her as if they were going to talk about taking a trip together in the boat.

She took a deep breath. "I've been thinking for the past hour about how to resolve this situation. I can't come up with a good answer. I was hoping you could help me review our options." She gave a little smile as she added his title, "Commander."

"Well," he said, putting on his best first-officer-in-thought face, "the way I see it, there really is only one option, Captain."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "And what is that?"

"I think that we have to define some parameters." He expression was completely deadpan.

She studied him carefully, placing her hands on her hips. Of all the sentences that might have come out of his mouth at that moment, this was the one she least expected to hear. "Such as?"

He stood from his crate and stood before her, with his hands behind his back. How many times had he appeared in her ready room in exactly the same posture? "No hand-holding on the bridge, for one. That's an absolute must. No kissing in your ready room, or in the briefing room after everyone else has left the meeting." He began to draw closer to her as he spoke, maintaining his serious expression, and in spite of herself, she began to smile. "We'll have to maintain separate quarters, and be discreet about spending nights together." His body was only inches away from hers now, and his hand slowly came up to encircle her waist, pulling her towards him. "We'll have to promise each other not to let our personal feelings compromise our professional judgment. We have to know that we'll be sending each other on dangerous missions all the time, and we can't allow our feelings to get in the way of what has to be done. We must always put the safety of our ship and our crew ahead of our personal desires." He paused. "I don't know, Captain. Sounds like a lot of parameters to me, and they're not going to be easy to follow. Do you think you can handle it?"

"Yes." Her voice was a whisper. This was not the conversation she had intended to have, or the answer she had intended to give him, but standing here, her face inches away from his, his arm around her waist, she knew there was no other answer that she could give.

"I'm glad to hear it," he whispered back. His other hand cupped her cheek, and his mouth found hers.

She broke the kiss and began to speak, "Chakotay..."

He shook his head, cutting her off. "Together, Kathryn. We'll face it together."

With a deep breath, she looked up into his eyes, granting him her trust anew, and for the first time since their communication with Tuvok, her eyes lit up and she gave him a genuine smile. Together. They would face it together.